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11/13/2003 Entry: "We Need A Right-Wing Blogger On This, Pronto!"
From Randy Andy Sullivan:
I'm not even going to bother rebutting the assertion that disliking the President and protesting against him means supporting the forces of terrorism, because Andy's too suffocatingly cloistered to listen to, you know, reason.
So, my question for any President Parappa the Rapper fans out there, exactly what criticisms can anyone make of him without threatening the sanctity of this noble American experiment? Since we now know that there's only the One True Ring Way of fighting terrorism, and that anything else amounts to giving the terrorists the key to our nuclear arsenal, I'm just curious.
You apparently can't even investigate what the President was doing pre-September 11th (unless he's a Democrat, of course) to stop terrorism. Do we really need a democracy anymore?
Replies: 40 mysteries
Silence! How dare you even ask this question! By asking what questions your allowed to ask about Mr. President Bush, you might as well be hijacking a jet and heading to the Pentagon.
Posted by FreeTard @ 11/13/2003 08:41 AM EST
Meta-treason!
Posted by underwhelm @ 11/13/2003 08:48 AM EST
Hi, John Ashcroft here. Your commentary has been found to be in violation of the Patriot Act, Section 3, Article 263, Clause ABS209. Any and all criticisms of the President of the United States must refrain from use of the following words: terrorism, nuclear, Democrat, September 11th. Your blogging license is being revoked. Put down the mouse and come along quietly. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Posted by PigInZen @ 11/13/2003 09:05 AM EST
The only criticism you can make of this President is how good and strong and intelligent and righteous and trustworthy he is, and how bad and evil and wrong and devious are those who are not with him. All hail our peerless dear leader. Truly we are nothing without his radiance and love.
Posted by ron gauguin @ 11/13/2003 09:19 AM EST
maybe sexual criticism is still ok?
like, "wow, he [apparently] hasnt' slept with an intern yet. he's so not as good a lover as Clinton!"
or
"the Resident is so lame he can't even *get* a blow job int eh oval office!"
Posted by subgrrl8 @ 11/13/2003 09:25 AM EST
Sometimes I think this President cares *too* much.
Posted by alkali @ 11/13/2003 09:33 AM EST
I think the only thing we can ask is if he is more saint-like or whether his perfection has reached godliness levels. Maybe W is the second coming!!!
(I never realized this before, but the second coming sounds awfully sexual)
Posted by Alex @ 11/13/2003 09:45 AM EST
I fixed some typos:
"All this is designed to make the Bush apologists feel good but also to show Americans that even their closest ally excuses the president's incompetence and wants him re-elected. Even if it results in strengthening the forces of terrorism in the Middle East. That's how inflamed and irrational his lickspittles have become."
Much better.
Posted by TK @ 11/13/2003 09:58 AM EST
Why would you want to criticize the President? He's not in charge of anything, he doesn't know what's going on, he doesn't read the papers. It's like criticizing the monkey because the organ grinder has a bad day.
Posted by BevD @ 11/13/2003 10:14 AM EST
I think it's okay to say you disagree with his steel tarrifs. That's not treasonous. Anything else, and I'm afraid you're objectively pro-terrorist.
Posted by nate-dogg @ 11/13/2003 10:19 AM EST
The Onion had a great piece on this sometime around May, about the Bush Aministration announcing the War on Criticism.
Posted by bizutti @ 11/13/2003 10:42 AM EST
this is HIS country, he stole it fair and square. if you dont like it, steal your own country.
Posted by undisclosed locator @ 11/13/2003 10:44 AM EST
Well, when you consider that Andrew wrote those comments about his own countrymen, the real question is, "Why does Andrew Sullivan hate his own people so much?"
Posted by Brilliantine @ 11/13/2003 11:06 AM EST
New political-correctness, indeed! I can't remember the last time the president was referred to as "Our President" as virtually every point in right-wing discourse. And he's not just 'our president', but he's Our Commander-in-Chief. Is this supposed to somehow clear our conscious of this guy using someone else's sons and daughters as live bait?
Besides, Hannity, himself, is guilty of what he accuses others of; he criticizes the administration's spending habits. Though, to be honest, I think Hannity's just making a token disagreement so nobody can say that he agrees wholesale with the president on everything.
Posted by Malleus Maleficarum @ 11/13/2003 11:14 AM EST
Nice thread, and I'm glad TK fixed those typos.
I have heard on the news that the President eats very quickly.
Posted by John Isbell @ 11/13/2003 11:15 AM EST
I'll add that IMO the GOP saw Clinton being relentlessly attacked for eight years, they saw his popularity go up, to 70-some%, the day after impeachment, and now they are absolutely determined to hang on like grim death in the face of ANY evidence their guy is an evil-minded, lying schmuck. No f**ing way are they copping to that. Fuggedaboutit.
Posted by John Isbell @ 11/13/2003 11:17 AM EST
Don't you guys listen to Hannity? I mean, he's been VERY harsh on this president, he says so himself. The most devastating criticism of this president is that, while he's done a good job fighting terrorism, he could do EVEN MORE. Clearly he's just a big pussy for not invading Syria and Iran already.
Whatever happened to taking the fight to the enemy?
Bush is just a big WIMP, just like his daddy.
Posted by What Is @ 11/13/2003 11:33 AM EST
In an article in the Washington Post David Ignatius showed us how to criticise the administration in an acceptable way:
"As we were flying back to Washington in a lumbering C-17, I asked Wolfowitz if he ever worried that he was too idealistic -- that his passion for the noble goals of the Iraq war might overwhelm the prudence and pragmatism that normally guide war planners. He didn't answer directly, except to say that it was a good question."
"http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A49310-2003Oct31?language=printer"
Posted by R.Mutt @ 11/13/2003 11:46 AM EST
I don't like the President's hair.
A.
Posted by Athenae @ 11/13/2003 11:59 AM EST
I treat it the way i treat the job interview (listen up, Jesse) question: "what are your weaknesses?"
"well, sometimes I try TOO hard to get things right, and once in a while i find myself having worked right through the night without even noticing, ummm, i find that i put my job before anything else a lot, yeah, that's bad, I can be anal when it comes to getting EVERYTHING done on my desk, that really sucks, what else, that's it i think"
this technique can be used quite effectively to criticize dear leader: examples above, and many more--he loves us so much he has no love left for Laura and the kids? his humility in the face of so much greatness can be overwhelming? the shine from his armor of righteousness can blind the average man if he gets too close?
Posted by Robert Green @ 11/13/2003 12:13 PM EST
I think the fact that simply commenting about Bush's legs can get you kicked out of places shows how bad it's become. Of course, as always, we need to remind people that no such restrictions on criticism were called for during Clinton's terms.
Oh, and President Parappa has nothing on Um Jammer Lammy. :P
Posted by Kryptik @ 11/13/2003 12:22 PM EST
And please, don't mention pretzels.
Posted by Snyder O. Hanover @ 11/13/2003 12:34 PM EST
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Posted by whiner @ 11/13/2003 12:58 PM EST
Bizutti:
It was actually July 2. Here it is.
Posted by tgirsch @ 11/13/2003 12:59 PM EST
Nobody questions a CEO, it's none of your d***ed business.
Posted by Ress @ 11/13/2003 01:00 PM EST
I can't remember the last time the president was referred to as "Our President" as virtually every point in right-wing discourse. And he's not just 'our president', but he's Our Commander-in-Chief
Auf deutsch sagt man einfach "unser Führer".
Posted by Otis Noman @ 11/13/2003 01:14 PM EST
"Meta-treason!" -Priceless
Posted by Carpbasman @ 11/13/2003 01:26 PM EST
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Bloody peasant!
Posted by Seb @ 11/13/2003 01:38 PM EST
Meta-treason is such a beautiful phrase. I'm in awe of it!
Posted by Scott @ 11/13/2003 01:42 PM EST
Yeah, I thought he was the CinC of the military. He's my president, but is he my Commander-in-Chief? When was I drafted?
Posted by xian @ 11/13/2003 01:45 PM EST
Ah, the old "support" straw man. That's how inflamed and irrational Sullivan has become.
Whatsamattah? Calico cat got your argument?
Yes, I oppose murderous, lying thieves, not to mention disgraceful bungling and abject Lysenkoism. But I guess "I Love Saddam" is all they hear.
Maybe we could play that old "gossip" game, pass random statements through the conservative filter and see what comes out the other end. "Cronyism" sounds a lot like "market based solution," "no death tax" is very nearly "self-reliance." It's creepy!
Posted by Grand Moff Texan @ 11/13/2003 02:02 PM EST
"I am George, King of the 'Mericans." "But I didn't vote for you." "Shut up, you don't vote for the king, you ninny."
Posted by 4,000 Year Old Man @ 11/13/2003 02:13 PM EST
much as caligula was to roman society so is george II to our
social experiment...
Posted by xaxx @ 11/13/2003 02:38 PM EST
Hey, no dissing Caligula. His only contemporary historian, Tacitus, had little negative to say about him. All of the others were beholden to emperors who had ulterior motives for smearing him. At best he was probably very inexperienced and indecisive, but not the epitome of debachuery and incompetence that he was made out to be.
Posted by mattH @ 11/13/2003 03:35 PM EST
"no dissing Caligula"
Yeah, he had a WHOLE horse in his senate, in marked contrast to GWB, who has a senate majority full of mere horse's asses.
Posted by rea @ 11/13/2003 04:15 PM EST
Is it still okay to pronounce nuclear correctly or is that being elitist?
Posted by Jumbo @ 11/13/2003 06:00 PM EST
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Hey, if you're a closet sex fanatic, that's your thing. I support you, and all the lotions and oils you desire.
Posted by jesse @ 11/13/2003 07:08 PM EST
Les Etats-Unis, c'est moi.
Posted by G.W. Bush @ 11/13/2003 10:43 PM EST
Would it be O.K. if we started calling Iraq"The Jewel in the Crown".
Posted by R.L.Kirtley @ 11/14/2003 12:04 AM EST
Nasty, unpatriotical lefties just don't get it--George Wonderful Bush isn't merely Our Beloved President. He's so very much more. He's really just like some big, strong, brave, compassionate elder sibling who watches over us all, sees us when we're sleeping, knows when we're awake, and keeps us safe from the Iraqis out there in the darkness.
Yes, there is absolutely no doubt: George Wise Bush...George Witty Bush...George Warm Bush is a big brother for all of us. That's why you can't criticize him. And that's why we're cancelling the 2004 elections.
Because we love Big Brother.
Posted by Eey Orwell @ 11/14/2003 12:59 AM EST