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Friday, June 21st, 2002
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3:43 am - Sebastian and Vincent
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This is Toby, because he would've wanted you to know what happened.
Two weeks ago, on the night of the 3rd, Sebastian and Vincent were coming home from Cody's house. They had given him a ride home from the food kitchen. They hung out and shot the breeze with him for a while, and then around midnight they decided to go home. The road which they normally would've taken from Cody's was closed for repairs and they were forced to take a detour. They were almost home when a truck smashed head-on into their car. The truck driver's blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. He survived. Vincent died instantly. Sebastian was rushed to the hospital but he died two hours later without ever regaining consciousness.
February 9, 2001 Dear Toby,
You're reading this which means something really bad has happened and now you have another answer to that annoying why-do-you-wear-black question pesky non-darklings ask you.
Hahahah! Sorry, BAD joke :)
ANYway... you'll find a file containing a list of URLs, e-lists, addresses and so on with their associated passwords and whatnot on this disc. You know about some of them, but others will probably come as a surprise.
Heheh... You like surprises don't you?
They're pretty self-explanatory once you see them. Please do whatever needs to be done, whatever you think needs to be done. I trust your judgment.
I'll tell you about this letter (the idea of which was inspired by something you said once) when I see you tomorrow...
And Tobe, I'm really sorry for being... gone... whatever happened, however it happened. If I were in your shoes right now I'd be... well, I don't even want to think about it. But that's the circle of life and all that, right? I don't want you to be sad longer than normal, do you hear? If you love me you won't. Life goes on my bestest friend.
I'll watch over you --but not in a creepy way! :D-- if such a thing is possible and allowed. Didn't you promise to name your firstborn after me? MuaHahahah!
Live well Tobe... be happy, be true to yourself. And remember that I love you, but you already know that ;)
Love,
Sebastian
P.S. If you're still being mopey after reading this I'm gonna kick your ass :D I will!</font face>
There was a small service on the morning of the 7th. The chapel overflowed. In the afternoon, in a small private service attended by the families and a few of us, their ashes were scattered on the river near the spot where they first met.
~
They found a sealed envelope with my name on it among his things. The disc was in it. I've been reading this journal for the past two nights. I've laughed and I've cried.
I miss them so much. There's a hole in my heart, an emptiness where they used to be, hand in hand. But I believe that they're still together even now - especially now. I believe with all my heart that they're happy. This is what keeps me from crumbling.
I don't know what else to say here.
If you want to do something... Sebastian was always kind and fair, he was never hurtful... Vincent was always caring, always thinking of others first. Do that, be these things in their memory. I think they would've liked that.
Thank you for reading this. Thank you for whatever reading this journal may have meant to Sebastian.
Please respect their memory, and the privacy of those who survived them.
This journal will remain here. This will be the last post.
"I dreamed of floating leaves again... and then of Giovanni and Campanella, the cats... chasing each other on the shore of bones. Sometimes Campanella was really Vincent and I was Giovanni. I'd catch him and he'd scream, laughing as we tumbled, then he'd try to get away again. The giant white bones went on forever like the river of stars above it."
--Sebastian
February 16, 2002
</font face></blockquote
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| Monday, June 3rd, 2002
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10:18 am
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Vincent just left. He spent the night here again... He was going to go home much earlier but I woke up the same time he did. We watched the sunrise on the roof, then I asked him to stay with me a little longer. I knew he wanted to, because I always do whenever I'm at his house. So he stayed, and we went back to sleep nice and warm --Oh, and it was beautiful. The sunrise I mean. It's funny but I don't remember the last time I'd seen one. And actually, Vincent was beautiful too =) I always sleep better when he's lying next to me, because when he's lying next to me, all is right with the world.
current mood: loved, happy & stuff
current music: song: angel/sarah mclachlan
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| Sunday, June 2nd, 2002
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10:39 pm
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Just got off the phone with Jane. Apparently we --Jane, Cody, Vincent & moi-- need to work a couple hours extra at the project tomorrow because of some manpower crisis or other. Kim is begging and begging. I don't really mind and it'll be fun.
I haven't done much at all today. Waking up at noon does that :P I helped Mom in the garden. Worms! Bugs! Dirt! Wheee! Sometimes I think I annoy her when I'm perky like this. Our tomatoes are coming along nicely. I can already tell we're going to have way more than we can use again, which means a freezer full of rock-hard tomatoes... again. Oh I know... I'll ask Kim tomorrow if the project accepts produce donation. It sounds funny but it's food and Open Hand is about food, so I don't see why not. I bet it does.
It was so nice outside. Everything's so green now and... just green! The grass, the trees, the vegetable garden. The persimmon's beginning to bud like crazy too. It will be heavy with fruit in a couple of weeks. I can't wait. Persimmons for breakfast! Mmm...
The thing that sucks about summer is that everything's a rerun. There's nothing to watch on TV. But I suppose that can have its own advantage. I've started reading "The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath" for example, so help me god. Fifty-two years ago today she wrote:His chunky, muscular body was bronzed, and his blonde hair tucked up under a white handkerchief around his head. He said, "You like Frank Sinatra? So sendimental, so romandic, so moonlight night, Ja?"
Fifty-two! Can you imagine that? Except for the part about being chunky, muscular and bronzed and having an accent, why she could be talking about about-- well, someone those things don't apply to, like maybe someone with pale blue eyes that shine with laughter... and stuff =P
Don't mind me, I don't have a point. I'm just waiting to hear a familiar sound and I'm quite happy to be doing so.
current mood: wheee!!s abound
current music: to you i bestow/mundy
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8:59 pm
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I was going through my files looking for something I did for Cody a while back and I found these! Apparently I never uploaded them and I feel silly =P They're long... if you're bored.
current mood: foggy & classical!
current music: dies irae (mozart)
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3:31 pm
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Toby just left a couple of hours ago. He showed up late last night, like past midnight late. I was just about to go to bed when he crawled in through the window, still dressed in his noncasual blacks. He had 'things to tell me'... we stayed up talking till 3 a.m. Then we just dozed off after that. Naturally, we didn't wake up till noon :P
I won't talk about the things he told me. I'm just really happy for him... for always AND forever.
SO anyway, in yet another embarrassing display of my behind-the-time-ness, I heard about Sigur Ros' Vidrar vel til loftarasa video only last night. Why oh WHY is this? Really, it's a wonder my middle name isn't Has To Hear It From Others :P ...in this case, from Tobesky of all people, who thought I already knew about it... of course.
AAAAAHHH!!! It is so... dreamy! And 'controversial'!! And DREAMY!!! Like NGE's "The Last Angel"!!!
The basic storyline is this: two 12 year-olds in a soccer team --circa the 1950s-- kiss in the middle of a soccer field after a match in which one of them scores the winning goal. A real kiss! Cinematic!! Romantic!! Scandal!!! =)
Screen captures from VIDRAR VEL TIL LOFTARASA:
a boy is on a dock under a gray sky, he is playing with eyeless dolls
his father sees him, disapproves, snatches the dolls, he struggles uselessly
his father tosses the dolls, from a distance another boy witnesses this harshness...
the father takes boy to the soccer game, where boy meets boy, and something is returned, fingers touch
the dolls in a box, there's eye contact, the soccer game begins
the boy scores a winning goal...
the crowd erupts, the team piles on the ground in a group hug, and when they get up... the two boys are locked in a passionate kiss
that seemingly transports them to a more peaceful place where they kiss even more (tongue! lick! wheee!!)
but the grown-ups intrude, men tear the boys apart
and the dolls are tumbling in the air again, fade...
WHEEE!!!!! Pretty, ya =)
p.s. The whole enchilada can be found here. GO!
current mood: exceedingly peachy
current music: cd: substance/new order
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(15 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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9:02 pm
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There was a FARSCAPE marathon last night. I watched at least five episodes and it was SO VERY cool :) I was sleepy by midnight though. I didn't fight it... because sleep is good, sleep is my friend. My recurring dream of floating leaves paid me a visit again. This time it was part of a longer, more-complicated dream about something or other, but I forget everything now except for the leaves... leaves falling cascading tumbling floating in the air in slow motion, like in movies.
[ The man or woman who invents a machine that can record dreams will become one of the richest persons on the face of this planet. ]
Something woke me up. I think it was Dad laughing. I went downstairs and had breakfast with them. Mom asked me if I was okay and was I going somewhere that they didn't know about... on account of me being up so early on a Saturday that I was actually having breakfast with them. I said no, and Mom said, "GOOD, then you can do the dishes," and they left for work :P
 I threw on some clean clothes and went over to Vincent's house. Naturally, he was still in bed sleeping like a baby... pillows everywhere. He was sleeping on his side facing the wall, his shoulders heaving up and down in noiseless rhythm... naked soft skin faintlysaltytothetaste skin kiss touch. Let's hear it for one-track minds :P
I lay next to him, naturally waking him up. "Hey..." he says without turning, body stretching under the sheets. "Hi..." I say. He turns and smiles. "Just a sec..." he says, getting out of the bed to go to the bathroom... not totally naked, white boxers, beautiful. And then he's back and we're being cuddly.
"Your hair still smells of dye. It's smells nice."
"You just like touching it."
"Yeah... cuz it's pretty. You like being touched."
"Yeah... by you."
He traces my lips, my ears. I trace his. He kisses my forehead, my nose. My lips. We made love. Then we spent the rest of the morning watching silly cartoons and CNN and listening to his CDs in bed.
Lately, I've been noticing how songs too can trigger memories... how they sometimes bookmark specific moments. Like yesterday for example in the ice cream shop, "Vincent" came on (you know, Don McLean's song... *waves at Jude*) and I said, "Hey, it's 'your' song." And he said, "Do you remember that day... it was a Saturday... in your room? You played it for me afterwards?" And I was remembering exactly that.
THIS song playing right now reminds me... of an afternoon that ended in a movie with someone I barely knew (but it felt right)... of Valentine's Day, when I just kissed him without really knowing what I was doing or why, only that it felt right and good and perfect. It's a sad song but it reminds me of happy things.
current mood: warm, happy, remembering
current music: vide cor meum, from the hannibal s.t.
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| Friday, May 31st, 2002
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11:41 pm
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Didn't do much today. Just this and that. We got out of bed around 9, maybe 10. We dyed my hair (... again, dyeing as a game of touching and teasing, things becoming intense when he was rinsing the red off and lips touch almost by accident, lightly and feather-like at first, then hungrily. The hunger catches me off guard, his weight crushes the breath out of me. I barely catch my breath and he's kissing me again. Things get messy, water on his shirt, then more, because he doesn't care. We have to finish the rinsing in the shower... where we don't just rinse my hair...) visited Carol and Patrick who bought us lunch, went to the park and lay on the grass watching clouds drift by for a good couple of hours, napped, woke up and had pie and strawberry shakes. It was just a very lazy sort of day, the best kind.
current mood: happy!
current music: fragile/sting
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(comment on this)
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6:11 pm
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This morning at 3 or 5 --I'm pretty blind without contacts or glasses-- he woke me up the way he normally does. I was dreaming that the river was going to flood and I was making a raft out of empty Coke and 7-Up bottles and duct tape, and then it began to rain which felt warm on my face. That's when I opened my eyes. He was kneeling by my bed; the rain I felt was a kiss. He couldn't fall asleep. "...can I sleep here with you?" I pulled him under the sheets with me. Outer clothes were shed and fell to the floor. We spooned and he fell asleep like a baby... I fell asleep to the rhythms of his body. This morning I woke up as light crept through the blinds and I stretched, encased in sleeping limbs, and he stirred, and I was encased again, tighter, closer, and we fell back to warm sleep.
current mood: remembering
current music: distant (rubicon II)/vnv nation
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| Thursday, May 30th, 2002
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11:44 pm
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I made friends with a bunch of people this morning. They were from some kind of group home for people with special needs... I think. I was walking the dogs and we were making a short cut through the park and they were there enjoying the outdoors or something. One of them, a guy with Down's (I think)... he started petting Deimos, and the chaperon/nurse just smiled at me, so I let him. This was quickly followed by the rest of the group petting the other three, so of course I got stuck there for a while. But I didn't mind because they looked so happy, and the dogs of course were happy too. It made me smile.
current mood: -docious!
current music: saviour (vox)/vnv nation
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10:14 pm
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So we were in the mall this afternoon trying to find a gift for Elly, and somehow we ended up inside a bed-and-bath store... and I was idly looking at the little knick-nacks on the shelves, bath salts and all that... and I had it in my mind that he was in another section when in fact, he was standing right behind me, so, when I turned around he startled me and I sort of jumped back just a little teeny-tiny bit. And he did a small laugh, you know, like hahah, but it was just for my ears, even though the store was quite empty. It was funny and I was going to laugh too, but this thing, this expression, crossed his face... and he was pulling on my t-shirt and then his other hand was suddenly under my shirt, palm and fingers resting flat on my stomach, and I was paralyzed, and reacting fast. It was crazy and dangerous and crazy. Then he pulled himself even closer and there was nothing between us but clothes and heat... we were flush against each other in the middle of the store! I think I said something like "People..." and I'm almost sure he said "Yeah, maybe..." before his lips shut me up while the warm animal on my stomach slid around my waist so slooowly. The whole thing was crazy... and thrilling, and erotic. And then we hear this throat-clearing sound and this lady who worked there was price marking stuff not far from where we were standing. She 'didn't see' us. Vincent threw me a look and made to touch me again but I poked him. An exaggerated Ow! then he poked me back. So I poked him back, so he poked me back... And again, there was a throat-clearing sound from the lady who was still doing store business and minding her own. Goldilocks made a face at me, with tongue, and I almost busted out laughing. Later, when we were paying for Elly's gift, that same lady was at the cash register and she said, "Did you find everything okay?" And Vincent was, "Oh... yes... Very. Very much so!" And the lady was, "Mm-hmm," looking at us for the first time, and smiling.
current mood: supercalifragilisticexpiali--
current music: so long, frank lloyd wright/simon & garfunkel
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| Wednesday, May 29th, 2002
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10:22 pm
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You'd think that after slicing and dicing veggies in the Open Hand kitchen all afternoon, I'd have less appetite for dinner but nooo... I could've eaten a horse. Perhaps the not having lunch part had something to do with it --which was entirely V's fault. Yeah... his fault, for being here all morning. He just showed up and-- my bed shifted under his weight, creating a depression that I roll into, right up against him, and I feel him before I see him, and suddenly I'm awake, the parts of me that are resting against the length of his body are awake, and it was... very nice.
We spent the whole morning in bed, more or less watching TV and being lazy, and stretchy and cuddly and what not... and it just sort of slipped my mind that I was supposed to start with my new schedule today, what-nots being infinitely distracting little buggers. When I finally did remember, it was already 11:45 and I flew out of bed. There was barely time to get dressed and make up a story about why I had to be at the lab three hours earlier than usual. He looked so... perturbed... by this development. I almost came clean then :P But I was strong and moved fast, kisskisscyalater. Moving fast always helps kill awww-propelled confessions.
So anyway, I went to work unshowered and smelling of boy which was both distracting and amusing. Maia and Korina kept throwing expansive What?s in my direction and I just kept smiling back, happily safe and protected from serious inquiries by the glass between us. They must hate the fishbowl sometimes.
Three hours later --it zipped by just like that-- I was back in the world of sky and fresh air and natural light, whistling as I drove myself to the project with the windows down and perky as hell. His Camry was in the parking lot so I knew he was already there. And his face lit up when he saw me walk in --and it was all a very nice surprise for him. And so I told him about the new thing, and there was much yay-ness and wheee! in the next three hours --which also zipped by just like that.
I wasn't tired at all. Not one bit! So it's settled then: Monday to Wednesday it's the lab from 12 to 3, and then the project from 3 to 6. This makes me happy :)
current mood: wheee!
current music: bright eyes/garfunkel
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| Tuesday, May 28th, 2002
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10:17 pm
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I saw Waking Life again yesterday with Toby and Vincent, then afterwards we discussed it to death over pizza and Coke at Little Tony's. This movie's growing on me fast. I don't know if their company had anything to do with it or the fact that we were watching it in Toby's sanctum of darkness ™ or what but I definitely liked it better the second time around. I guess I was more receptive yesterday or something... (...destiny is dream.) It was so much fun at Little Tony's. We rang Zach who then showed up with Paul. We became quite noisy and a bit rowdy after a while, but in a good way, like in a black & white foreign movie kind of way... and it was comfortable, as only a karass can be. This was followed by the lazy randomness of going to Paul's house, then Zach's, and finally back to Toby's again. Why? For absolutely no reason AT ALL, which is the beauty of summer breaks. But sadly, Vincent had to leave at 3 to go to the project --because, as he put it when Zachy asked, "people don't stop being hungry just because it's a holiday"-- which made me really proud of him. If only we didn't have other responsibilities and stuff, things would really be perfect ;) I'm just joking… I'm beginning to understand these things now. I guess I'm getting old :P
current mood: a saladbowl of
current music: nearer/apop berzerk
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7:09 pm
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Today has been productive. Tomorrow will be even more!
Susan gave me her blessing and more importantly her permission to shift my work schedule. My new hours at Biotek will be from 12 to 3 p.m. starting tomorrow. This will free the rest of my afternoon which I will now be spending with Vincent, Jane and Codeski at the project!! This makes me happy ^_^ I've been thinking about doing this for quite some time now. I've always wanted to do Open Hand on a regular basis (instead of just on-&-off) but school and work made it impossible and, time-wise at least, unaffordable. However, now that school's out, it's a different story. It's a Yay! story.
Vincent doesn't know yet. He'll just have to be surprised when I show up tomorrow =)
current mood: dinner in 5!
current music: park life/blur
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| Monday, May 27th, 2002
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7:54 pm
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Got home and noticed that common Friends are now in bold so I did a cursory check of random Friends' Infos. It was half an hour's worth of amusement. I saw 0-4 names (in bold) in a list of a gazillion names, and around the same number in a list of 20. What does this mean? Either nothing, or that I should've stayed with Toby et al half an hour longer. Probably both ::sigh::
current mood: cloudy
current music: begin the beguine/artie shaw & orchestra
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| Sunday, May 26th, 2002
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8:34 pm
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Well, laundry's done, finally. *happiness* I just finished watching Waking Life which I knew only two things about: that it's supposed to be good, and that its shtick is that it was shot as live action then animated. I wasn't into the whole let's discuss metaphysical things with people who went to college and never left, but it was fascinating to watch anyway, because I'm shallow and I like squiggly things :P
I actually recognized (actors) Wiley Wiggins and Adam Goldberg underneath the squigglyness. That probably means that I watch too many movies and need a life.
Hmm... it just occurred to me that Waking Life, Jacob's Ladder and Donnie Darko share a common idea about death. Yes, I need a life...
current mood: just peachy
current music: all apologies/nirvana (unplugged)
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5:57 pm
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I sit here trying to decide if I should go out and see Toby later or not. The latter sounds absurd because it's still bright and inviting outside. But it will be dark by the time he punches out, and going out then won't be as appealing. We'll just have to see I guess.
Mom woke me up this morning as per usual before going to church with Josh and Dad. But instead of burying my head under the pillows and going back to sleep like I normally do, I got out of bed, threw on some clothes and went downstairs.
I had a bowl of oat meal and a slices of Asian mango for breakfast.
I think the latter gave me a stomach ache, later, when I was in the shower. But it was brief. There was a spike of pain that lasted for maybe two seconds then quickly receded into a paleness that was gone by the time I was drying myself.
I'm all alone here right now. I have the whole house to myself. Sadly, all I'm doing is laundry. It's my turn this week. Mom and Dad are at the movies, Josh is with Key next door doing god knows what, and Sarah's with her friends too. It's very quiet here except for the drone of the dryer downstairs.
Er... it's too quiet. I think I'll go put on some music. Hedwig! Yeah...
current mood: sunday + hungry
current music: nada! birds chirping, dryer drying
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| Saturday, May 25th, 2002
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11:46 pm
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I slept in this morning and it felt sooo good. There's nothing more appropriate than sleeping in to usher the summer vacation, right? The first order of the day, of course, was to get caught up with all the shows I missed last week, all the pretty, pretty finales. Buffy! And Angel! And Enterprise! ::sigh:: TV is evil but it has its moments and it helps kill time which certainly needed killing this morning. And then Dad came home! He was supposed to be in Texas till Wednesday but they finished early. He called here from the plane (knowing Mom would be at work; he wanted to surprise her, and he did) so I picked him up at the airport. This had nothing to do with the fact that I will jump at every opportunity/excuse to use his car. Well, maybe just a little :) Traffic going in was a royal, godawful pain but it wasn't totally unexpected. I had Hedwig to accompany me so it was all good. I probably amused a few commuters. I was a little late but their plane was delayed by almost an hour and so it worked out fine. I hated waiting at the terminal though. I was overwhelmed by the faceless crowd, and there was something claustrophobic about the sheer number of people rushing to and fro. I don't know what came over me... it has never bothered me before. When Dad finally arrived, the feeling disappated.
Vincent surprised me with dinner last night to celebrate the end of school :) He took me to Koba. We haven't been there in quite a while... I've missed that place. And the koi pond! We spent half of our evening there in the garden playing with the koi and the floating paper lanterns... and then he took me home and he spent (most of) the night here.
I'm watching Trading Spaces right now. I'll probably call him in a bit and stuff :)
current mood: interior design
current music: so hip/wax quixotic
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| Friday, May 24th, 2002
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6:31 pm
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Last day. Lots of hugging and shaking of hands and holding back of tears and screaming in the hallways. It was an emotional kind of day :P
We carpooled again --at last!-- because our schedules weren't stupid and allowed it. It's only been a week since the last time, but last week felt like a hundred years ago already... and this was the last week of school: rituals had to be followed somehow... thus carpooling was good and the universe was pleased. And happiness is one last kiss and one last smile, just for you, before you step out of the car to take that last final exam on the last day of school.
Three hours later we walked out through those wide doors and it was still a peachy kind of day, the kind where you can see through forever. "I feel like I could fly," I said. "Really. Do you feel like you could run too?" he said. "What?" And he began to repeat himself but I'd already bolted. I was running on air, but I wasn't the only one and he chased me all the way to his car, where tackling and poking and screaming and crying uncle ensued. We could've run forever, because it was that kind of day too.
current mood: showered & this & that!
current music: tracey jacks/blur
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12:20 am
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"EMO BANDS HAVE FUNNY NAMES Most emo band names blend irony and sincerity as if they were the same thing (which, in the current adolescent idiom, they are): Sunny Day Real Estate, This Beautiful Mess, Dead Red Sea, the Get Up Kids, Saves the Day, Boys Life, Jenny Piccolo, Living War Room." --Time (May 27, 2002)
I wonder if this sort of thing/attention induces cringing in certain circles.
current mood: sleepy...
current music: kathy's song/apop berzerk
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| Thursday, May 23rd, 2002
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11:44 pm
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I don't know what I did today. Oh yeah-- more finals where we were only subjected to the world's most #@$%!-ing infuriating set of questions to ever grace a finals exam. Heh, but that's all over now, water under the bridge. "It'll turn out fine and you'll laugh about how you worried about nothing." It wasn't that bad really. I just like to exaggerate and feel screwed. Oh, and then we got Mrs. D a gift on account of her mild heart attack last week. We were going to get her flowers, but Mina was like, Eh, like she doesn't have an entire farm's worth already at this point. So we got her a dinner certificate instead --this was V's idea-- so "Mr. D can take her out for a relaxing evening... there is a Mr. D right?" We all thought it was a great idea. It was almost complicated because the restaurant we agreed to agree on didn't exactly have dinner certificates being a bit on the snooty side of things. But the girls did all the talking and after they explained the situation to the manager, she was, Aww, that's so sweet. So Toby whipped up a gift certificate looking thingie on Photoshop, the lady signed it, and voila! -- a dinner certificate for two, good between now and forever. We slipped it inside a get-well card ("From your former students") which we signed for one another, for fun, as in "Toby S-- (who used to wear other colors), Elly R-- (who used to be 5 inches shorter)," et cetera. Zach did V's which was "Vincent M-- (who was never under you because he lived in sucky Encino)." Heheh.
current mood: is happy, tired, happy, tired
current music: eclipse/apop berzerk
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| Wednesday, May 22nd, 2002
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6:19 pm
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 We hardly saw each other today. Stupid, uncooperative schedules...
Thank god for Post-It notes like this one =)
Two more days. Two, two, two! Aaaah!!!
current mood: just got home & hungry!
current music: a song to pass the time/bright eyes
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| Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
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8:37 pm
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Happiness is... catching the tail end of a Tom Waits interview on the radio, where he says of his wife, "She was going to be a nun, but we changed all that." Tom Waits is a gravel-voice god, and an easily acquired taste... like Edith Piaf or Patsy Cline. Umm, ya, rambling.
current mood: the finals
current music: nada!
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| Monday, May 20th, 2002
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11:31 pm
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X-High looks and feels a little emptier now that all the seniors gone. It's kind of sad but what can you do... the circle of life and all that, right?
I waited for Vincent while he took his EnSci finals. We only had one finals each today. Mine, Honors Pre-Calc with Mr. Stremple, was at 9 while his was at 10:15. I suppose I could've gone home but I hadn't seen him since Friday night. He didn't think I'd be waiting for him so there was lots of sunshinyness when he saw me waiting on the steps of the east wing =) Wheeeness and Yayness and happystuff.
I took him to lunch and much fun was had at Sandy's. Then we went to the park to feed the ducks and the pigeons. The nice people at Sandy's gave us a bag of old bread for this when we asked. The ducks in the water were so funny. They followed us as we walked around the pond, but like, Haha, no, no, we're not following you, Haha. I love ducks. Of course most of the bread went to our pigeons. Oh, and Slightly Pink was there!!! We were so happy to see her alive and well.
And then of course we had to go to work afterwards :P Oh well...
Everything's going well so far. It sucks that most of the shows I watch are having their season finales this week. I was very tempted to watch Angel tonight. But I didn't. Yay for common sense.
current mood: peachy! peary!
current music: floating dolphins/project pitchfork
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| Sunday, May 19th, 2002
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11:00 pm
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So I watched the series finale of The X-Files tonight. It was my reward to myself for having done nothing all day but study for the finals and without getting distracted this time, unlike yesterday which was annoying.
I thought it was typical of series finales, kind of eh. Carter did the right thing by ending the series, although, maybe he should've done it earlier. But that's just me...
I haven't seen Vincent since Friday. I sort of miss him. I guess I should just go to bed now.
current mood: sleepy, ready for the finals
current music: smoke gets in your eyes/the platters
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| Saturday, May 18th, 2002
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4:34 pm
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I should be neck deep studying full time but instead, every ten minutes or so of the last hour I've been watching random scenes from Hedwig AND singing along.
...and some Indian god sewed the wound up into a hole, pulled it round to our belly to remind us of the price we pay, And Osiris and the gods of the Nile...
And now I'm eljaying. Whee! for distractions :P
current mood: heh
current music: origin of love/hedwig
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1:13 pm
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Last night I took Vincent out on a proper date for sushi and a movie. The entire evening was something special... but I don't have the mental energy to write about it. School is fast drawing to a close and everything revolves around that right now. I have to review for the finals and finish stuff and this and that. This is going to be a week of escalating madness... or not. Just five more days...
current mood: brain-bursting-at-the-seams
current music: for justin/dashboard confessional
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| Friday, May 17th, 2002
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11:24 pm
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I'm on V's laptop. I'll just upload this later when I get home, whenever that may be...
We're in cemetery park right now and it's probably past 3 already. Jane's lying on her stomach across from me, her head buried in a book. The Bonesetter's Daughter I believe. She's been reading it all week; she says it's good. She looks so cute with her half-moon reading glasses... heheh. (She just asked what was so amusing. And "You better not be writing about me.") I haven't told her about Mike last Sunday. She's barely mentioned his name since they broke up so I'm guessing that it's not the sort of thing she wants to hear about...
It's really pretty out here. The it feels good to be alive kind of pretty. Every day ought to be like this.
Toby, Mina, Vincent and Paul are playing hacky sack. Vincent has the sack. Kick, kick, kick. The boy is just utterly cute. Gah. Sorry, I can't help it. Hormones or something ^_^
Aaaaah! He just smiled/winked ::sigh:: I'm pathetic when I'm like this, aren't I =P
I was playing with them and my left leg started to hurt. I must've pulled a muscle or something. It seems to be better now *squeezing calf* It doesn't hurt. I hope it stays this way when I get up.
Oh, so we saw Attack of the Clones last night! We had to stand in line but it wasn't as bad as the one I remember for The Phantom Menace. Ah, Clones... so kick ass. And *#$@ Yoda! And... okay, I'm not going to say anymore.
[time passes]
Wow, so this is just SAD. The outdoors is not for tippity-tapping, dammit. If I can't play, stupid leg, then I will at least annoy Jane by engaging her in distracting small talk. Okay, here we go...
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| Thursday, May 16th, 2002
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12:22 am
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 Umm, so I just checked my mail. Sarah had sent me this, apparently HOURS ago... which explains a lot of things about earlier events this evening. But never mind. This is, and I quote, "Kett Turton (Dead Last, remember?) and some frat boy in Gypsy 83!!!! Please tell me WHY it's taking them SO long to release this film?!!! WHY, WHY, WHYYYYY????"
Heheh... Having a darkling for a sister has its advantages. My apologies to people not interested in this sort of thing ;) Good night!
current mood: umm... hot?
current music: honour/vnv nation
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| Wednesday, May 15th, 2002
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11:16 pm
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Around noon today one of my teachers in 9th grade was taken to the hospital by ambulance. She was in the teacher's lounge when she complained of 'chest pains' and collapsed shortly after. It was a little shocking. Most of us have had her as a teacher at one time or another, except for Vincent of course because he's-- Heh. I was going to say 'new' but I guess he's not really that anymore. It's funny that I still think of him as 'the new kid' sometimes, even though that was a hundred years ago.
Dad flew to Dallas this morning so I was already feeling weird to begin with. And then this happened. And then work and tiredness. Bleh. Stupid day.
(I'm feeling better now though. Hurray for reasonable mood swings.)
current mood: schoolworky
current music: wax and wane/cocteau twins
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| Tuesday, May 14th, 2002
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11:19 pm
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Me: Name me a happy VNV song.
Toby: #@$%! That's not fair.
Me: Muahahah! I win.
Toby: Name one thing you don't like about Vincent... say, physically.
Me: @$}%!! That's not fair.
Toby: Muahahah! HA!
We've been playing this game since last Friday.
current mood: okay & stuff
current music: jherusalem/qntal
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