| Last night in NYC |
[25 Nov 2003|07:52am] |
We stayed up all night and walked across the Brooklyn Bridge together to catch the sunrise. It's a morning I'll remember for the rest of my life.
9 hours until I'm back in Dallas, but I really don't want to come home. The only things I miss are my art and my boyfriend, I wish I could just bring them up here instead. Jaysun and Kevin have given me a pretty convincing lecture on why I should go to Pratt or at least MICA, I think it's inevitable at this point that I'm moving up here or somewhere in another country. The fact that I got accepted into MICA based on my portfolio alone gives me high hopes for Pratt or a few schools in England and Italy, I know I've obsessed over MICA and dreamed about it for so long and knew it was neccessary, but perhaps this was exactly why, getting accepted has given me the confidence to know I can get into many other places. Remember when I told you it's as if the universe was telling me, "Get to Baltimore and I'll do the rest," as if just getting to Baltimore would open up the door to the rest of the world? It has. This trip was everything I wanted and more. I love Baltimore. I love MICA. I love NYC, I love Pratt. When I go to Germany next year I'm going to check into a school or two over there, if we have time, of course, and try to visit my brother in Lithuania. He's really convinced I should move there. Lots to consider on the flight home, today, I love sitting and watching everyone twist their tiny streams of air and adjust their blankets 8,000 times. Why are they all so uncomfortable? Perhaps they're caught in limbo as much as I am, perhaps the presence and realization of infinite options leaves them in the same mental state I am right now. Nothing in the next 8 months is really going to matter anymore, except my art show, my art sales, the possible residency, and my friends and clients. I'm going to make a consorted effort to see and meet you all as much as possible in these next few months because, really, my life is never going to be the same. (warning, impending sap:) Thank you to everyone who has ever pushed me along, no matter how hard I fought or how much I bitched when I stumbled along the way. Thank you to everyone that saw as much in me as I saw in myself, that realized my potential when I forgot it, that told me I was amazing just for doing whatever the hell I've wanted to do. Thank you for putting up with my frustrations with myself and the world around me, thanks for calling me on when I was being a complete ass, thanks for letting me seclude myself completely when I needed to figure things out for myself and not getting mad that I wasn't calling or seeing you. Thank you for still being excited when I did. You all mean the world to me. I don't know how I manage to still maintain these amazing relationships with people that truly rock my world, and teach me and encourage me. Even if you're no longer in my circle of friendship/influence for one reason or another, know that you are not hated and never were. Even if we've fallen out, thank you for whatever you've taught me. Thanks for letting me teach you. Thanks for being an online stranger or a next door neighbor (I really didn't mean for that to rhyme.) I know people make these kinds of entries every day but I don't want it to be cliche, it shouldn't be, and I'm not going to avoid them.
I feel infinite.
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