Now
Available from
CounterPunch for Only $10.50 (S/H Included)
Today's
Stories
October
11 / 13, 2003
Alexander
Cockburn
Kay's
Misleading Report; CIA/MI-6 Syrian Plot; Dershowitz Flaps Broken
Wings
October 10, 2003
John Chuckman
Schwarzenegger
and the Lottery Society
Toni Solo
Trashing
Free Software
Chris
Floyd
Body
Blow: Bush Joins the Worldwide War on Women
October
9, 2003
Jennifer
Loewenstein
Bombing
Syria
Ramzi
Kysia
Seeing
the Iraqi People
Fran Shor
Groping the Body Politic
Mark Hand
President Schwarzenegger?
Alexander
Cockburn
Welcome
to Arnold, King for a Day
Website of the Day
The Awful Truth about Wesley Clark
October
8, 2003
David
Lindorff
Schwarzenegger
and the Failure of the Centrist Dems
Ramzy
Baroud
Israel's
WMDs and the West's Double Standard
John Ross
Mexico
Tilts South
Mokhiber
/ Weissman
Repub Guru Compares Taxes to the Holocaust
James
Bovard
The
Reagan Roadmap for Antiterrorism Disaster
Michael
Neumann
One
State or Two?
A False Dilemma
October
7, 2003
Uri Avnery
Slow-Motion
Ethnic Cleansing
Stan Goff
Lost in the Translation at Camp Delta
Ron Jacobs
Yom Kippurs, Past and Present
David
Lindorff
Coronado in Iraq
Rep. John Conyers, Jr.
Outing a CIA Operative? Why A Special Prosecutor is Required
Cynthia
McKinney
Who Are "We"?
Elaine Cassel
Shock and Awe in the Moussaoui Case
Walter
Lippman
Thoughts on the Cali Recall
Gary Leupp
Israel's
Attack on Syria: Who's on the Wrong Side of History, Now?
Website
of the Day
Cable News Gets in Touch With It's Inner Bigot
October
6, 2003
Robert
Fisk
US
Gave Israel Green Light for Raid on Syria
Forrest
Hylton
Upheaval
in Bolivia: Crisis and Opportunity
Benjamin Dangl
Divisions Deepen in Third Week of Bolivia's Gas War
Bridget
Gibson
Oh, Pioneers!: Bush's New Deal
Bob Fitrakis and Harvey
Wasserman
The Bush-Rove-Schwarzenegger Nazi Nexus
Nicole
Gamble
Rios Montt's Campaign Threatens Genocide Trials
JoAnn
Wypijewski
The
New Unity Partnership:
A Manifest Destiny for Labor
Website
of the Day
Guerrilla Funk
October
3 / 5, 2003
Tim Wise
The
Other Race Card: Rush and the Politics of White Resentment
Peter
Linebaugh
Rhymsters
and Revolutionaries: Joe Hill and the IWW
Gary Leupp
Occupation
as Rape-Marriage
Bruce
Jackson
Addio
Alle Armi
David Krieger
A Nuclear 9/11?
Ray McGovern
L'Affaire Wilsons: Wives are Now "Fair Game" in Bush's
War on Whistleblowers
Col. Dan Smith
Why Saddam Didn't Come Clean
Mickey
Z.
In Our Own Image: Teaching Iraq How to Deal with Protest
Roger Burbach
Bush Ideologues v. Big Oil in Iraq
John Chuckman
Wesley Clark is Not Cincinnatus
William S. Lind
Versailles on the Potomac
Glen T.
Martin
The Corruptions of Patriotism
Anat Yisraeli
Bereavement as Israeli Ethos
Wayne
Madsen
Can the Republicans Get Much Worse? Sure, They Can
M. Junaid Alam
The Racism Barrier
William
Benzon
Scorsese's Blues
Adam Engel
The Great American Writing Contest
Poets'
Basement
McNeill, Albert, Guthrie
October
2, 2003
Niranjan
Ramakrishnan
What's
So Great About Gandhi, Anyway?
Amy Goodman
/ Jeremy Scahill
The
Ashcroft-Rove Connection
Doug Giebel
Kiss and Smear: Novak and the Valerie Plame Affair
Hamid
Dabashi
The Moment of Myth: Edward Said (1935-2003)
Elaine Cassel
Chicago Condemns Patriot Act
Saul Landau
Who
Got Us Into This Mess?
Website of the Day
Last Day to Save Beit Arabiya!
October 1, 2003
Joanne
Mariner
Married
with Children: the Supremes and Gay Families
Robert
Fisk
Oil,
War and Panic
Ron Jacobs
Xenophobia
as State Policy
Elaine
Cassel
The
Lamo Case: Secret Subpoenas and the Patriot Act
Shyam
Oberoi
Shooting
a Tiger
Toni Solo
Plan Condor, the Sequel?
Sean Donahue
Wesley
Clark and the "No Fly" List
Website of the Day
Downloader Legal Defense Fund
September
30, 2003
After
Dark
Arnold's
1977 Photo Shoot
Dave Lindorff
The
Poll of the Shirt: Bush Isn't Wearing Well
Tom Crumpacker
The
Cuba Fixation: Shaking Down American Travelers
Robert
Fisk
A
Lesson in Obfuscation
Charles
Sullivan
A
Message to Conservatives
Suren Pillay
Edward Said: a South African Perspective
Naeem
Mohaiemen
Said at Oberlin: Hysteria in the Face of Truth
Amy Goodman
/ Jeremy Scahill
Does
a Felon Rove the White House?
Website
of the Day
The Edward Said Page
September 29, 2003
Robert
Fisk
The
Myths of Western Intelligence Agencies
Iain A. Boal
Turn It Up: Pardon Mzwakhe Mbuli!
Lee Sustar
Paul
Krugman: the Last Liberal?
Wayne Madsen
General Envy? Think Shinseki, Not Clark
Benjamin
Dangl
Bolivia's Gas War
Uri Avnery
The
Magnificent 27
Pledge
Drive of the Day
Antiwar.com
September
26 / 28, 2003
Alexander
Cockburn
Alan
Dershowitz, Plagiarist
David Price
Teaching Suspicions
Saul Landau
Before the Era of Insecurity
Ron Jacobs
The Chicago Conspiracy Trial and
the Patriot Act
Brian
Cloughley
The Strangeloves Win Again
Norman Solomon
Wesley and Me: a Real-Life Docudrama
Robert
Fisk
Bomb Shatters Media Illusions
M. Shahid Alam
A Muslim Sage Visits the USA
John Chuckman
American Psycho: Bush at the UN
Mark Schneider
International Direct Action
The Spanish Revolution to the Palestiniana Intifada
William
S. Lind
How $87 Billion Could Buy Some Real Security
Douglas Valentine
Gold Warriors: the Plundering of Asia
Chris
Floyd
Vanishing Act
Elaine Cassel
Play Cat and Moussaoui
Richard
Manning
A Conservatism that Once Conserved
George Naggiar
The Beautiful Mind of Edward Said
Omar Barghouti
Edward Said: a Corporeal Dream Not Yet Realized
Lenni Brenner
Palestine's Loss is America's Loss
Mickey
Z.
Edward Said: a Well-Reasoned Voice
Tanweer Akram
The Legacy of Edward Said
Adam Engel
War in the Smoking Room
Poets' Basement
Katz, Ford, Albert & Guthrie
Website
of the Weekend
Who the Hell is Stew Albert?
September
25, 2003
Edward
Said
Dignity,
Solidarity and the Penal Colony
Robert
Fisk
Fanning
the Flames of Hatred
Sarah
Ferguson
Wolfowitz at the New School
David
Krieger
The
Second Nuclear Age
Bill Glahn
RIAA Doublespeak
Al Krebs
ADM and the New York Times: Covering Up Corporate Crime
Michael
S. Ladah
The Obvious Solution: Give Iraq Back to the Arabs
Fran Shor
Arnold and Wesley
Mustafa
Barghouthi
Edward Said: a Monument to Justice and Human Rights
Alexander Cockburn
Edward Said: a Mighty and Passionate
Heart
Website
of the Day
Edward Said: a Lecture on the Tragedy of Palestine
The Great Alejandro Escavedo Needs Your Help!
September 24, 2003
Stan Goff
Generational
Casualties: the Toxic Legacy of the Iraq War
William
Blum
Grand Illusions About Wesley Clark
David
Vest
Politics
for Bookies
Jon Brown
Stealing Home: The Real Looting is About to Begin
Robert Fisk
Occupation and Censorship
Latino
Military Families
Bring Our Children Home Now!
Neve Gordon
Sharon's
Preemptive Zeal
Website
of the Day
Bands Against Bush
September
23, 2003
Bernardo
Issel
Dancing
with the Diva: Arianna and Streisand
Gary Leupp
To
Kill a Cat: the Unfortunate Incident at the Baghdad Zoo
Gregory
Wilpert
An
Interview with Hugo Chavez on the CIA in Venezuela
Steven
Higgs
Going to Jail for the Cause--Part 2: Charity Ryerson, Young and
Radical
Stan Cox
The Cheney Tapes: Can You Handle the Truth?
Robert
Fisk
Another Bloody Day in the Death of Iraq
William S. Lind
Learning from Uncle Abe: Sacking the Incompetent
Elaine
Cassel
First They Come for the Lawyers, Then the Ministers
Yigal
Bronner
The
Truth About the Wall
Website
of the Day
The
Baghdad Death Count
September
20 / 22, 2003
Uri Avnery
The
Silliest Show in Town
Alexander
Cockburn
Lighten
Up, America!
Peter Linebaugh
On the Bicentennial of the Execution of Robert Emmet
Anne Brodsky
Return
to Afghanistan
Saul Landau
Guillermo and Me
Phan Nguyen
Mother Jones Smears Rachel Corrie
Gila Svirsky
Sharon, With Eyes Wide Open
Gary Leupp
On Apache Terrorism
Kurt Nimmo
Colin
Powell: Exploiting the Dead of Halabja
Brian
Cloughley
Colin Powell's Shame
Carol Norris
The Moral Development of George W. Bush
Bill Glahn
The Real Story Behind RIAA Propaganda
Adam Engel
An Interview with Danny Scechter, the News Dissector
Dave Lindorff
Good Morning, Vietnam!
Mark Scaramella
Contracts and Politics in Iraq
John Ross
WTO
Collapses in Cancun: Autopsy of a Fiasco Foretold
Justin Podur
Uribe's Desperate Squeals
Toni Solo
The Colombia Three: an Interview with Caitriona Ruane
Steven Sherman
Workers and Globalization
David
Vest
Masked and Anonymous: Dylan's Elegy for a Lost America
Ron Jacobs
Politics of the Hip-Hop Pimps
Poets
Basement
Krieger, Guthrie and Albert
Website of the Weekend
Ted Honderich:
Terrorism for Humanity?
Hot Stories
Alexander Cockburn
Behold,
the Head of a Neo-Con!
Subcomandante Marcos
The
Death Train of the WTO
Norman Finkelstein
Hitchens
as Model Apostate
Steve Niva
Israel's
Assassination Policy: the Trigger for Suicide Bombings?
Dardagan,
Slobodo and Williams
CounterPunch Exclusive:
20,000 Wounded Iraqi Civilians
Steve
J.B.
Prison Bitch
Sheldon
Rampton and John Stauber
True Lies: the Use of Propaganda
in the Iraq War
Wendell
Berry
Small Destructions Add Up
CounterPunch
Wire
WMD: Who Said What When
Cindy
Corrie
A Mother's Day Talk: the Daughter
I Can't Hear From
Gore Vidal
The
Erosion of the American Dream
Francis Boyle
Impeach
Bush: A Draft Resolution
Click Here
for More Stories.
|
Weekend
Edition
October 11 / 13, 2003
Screw
You Right Back
CIA FU!
By BEN TRIPP
I may be terribly old-fashioned--I still wear
a waistcoat and spats- but I've always lived by the simple dictum
"don't dick with the Central Intelligence Agency".
This is the agency, let us recall, that parts the hemispheres
of people's brains with a spatula in the course of ordinary conversation.
It's the same organization that has overthrown several dozen
governments, assassinated countless persons, and hunted down
Robert Redford in '3 Days of the Condor'. The CIA is a collection
of the baddest cats this world has ever seen, and while I do
not share in its ideals or goals (although they did help to keep
the price of bananas down by overthrowing the government of Guatemala,
so props for that) I do extend to the CIA my very greatest respect.
It doesn't need my admiration; it is a vile machine. But you
don't mess with the CIA, any more than you would mess with a
Kodiak bear at the helm of an M1-Abrams tank. Thus it came as
something of a shock to discover the Bush administration thought
it could, with impunity, invent a bunch of phony intelligence
('hooey' in CIA-speak), get caught, and blame it on the CIA.
Let it be noted that the word 'intelligence'
is used here in the sense of 'information'. All other senses
of the word would be sorely malapropulent. We have in the CIA
an agency that blows some 3-4 billion dollars per year (people
used to think that was a lot of money) and yet can't provide
us with the kind of geopolitical data you could get from a subscription
to Tiger Beat magazine. The core intelligence upon which
the late unpleasantness in Iraq was purportedly based was of
such poor quality one suspects it was excerpted from the government
section of the Baghdad Yellow Pages-- a copy stolen from a pay
phone with half the pages torn out and the remainder obliterated
by dog whiz. So this wretched CIA-generated intelligence, which
would have earned a pretty low grade in the context of a 6th
grade special-ed social studies report, was of little real value
to the current administration's case for war. But rather than
ask the CIA to improve its data-gathering efforts in the region,
for instance by watching the news on television, the Bush administration
decided to just go ahead and make things up. They turned out
to be no better at it than the CIA.
The administration made up official-sounding
numbers: 500 tons of sarin gas, 38,000 liters of botulinum (more
than twice the amount accepted in school lunch programs), 25,000
liters of anthrax, and a quart jug of spider juice. They probably
felt like these numbers were safe enough: nobody knows how much
a liter is. Colin Powell could be seen before the United Nations
waving around a vial of white powder, presumably a sample gotten
from either the CIA or Marion Berry; it looked like he meant
what he said. They made up exact numbers of warheads and delivery
systems and boxes of thumb tacks to be strewn in America's streets.
They even gave us a timeline: we had 45 minutes from green light
to deployment on all these nasty items in the Iraqi arsenal.
We're talking about specific numbers. All of them completely
and utterly made up. Which leads us to Niger's uranium, or rather,
doesn't.
Because when someone in the media accidentally
picked up the story about some ambassador guy who went to some
African country that can you believe it is called Niger to find
out if they sold yellowcake uranium, which until this time everybody
assumed was a type of flower you could get out of the Burpee's
catalogue, and this ambassador guy's negative report got buried
and the president instead said Iraq was practically choked with
the stuff during his State of the Onion speech well, you can
imagine. The whole thing blew up, tempest, teapot, and all.
Eventually George Tenet, head of the CIA and therefore an individual
you do not want to cross, was ordered to throw himself on his
sword and admit it was the CIA's fault that the fissile materials
claims got into the speech. Which in fact it was not. But Tenet
being a Bush yes-man, he did the requisite auto-transfixion and
exonerated the White House from blame. But he didn't forget
this. Noooo. And then the story, which appeared to have blown
itself out, was rekindled. Because the Bush gang don't know
when to quit. So one of them got revenge on this ambassador
guy, who looks just like my chiropractor but I'm pretty sure
it's not him, by outing his wife's big secret, which was--wait
for it-that she's a CIA operative!
Can I get an 'oops', people? Here we
have an agency that was publicly cornholed not long ere, and
all of a sudden one of its covert operatives---working the anti-terrorism
beat, no less-has been exposed by the Executive Branch in a fit
of petulance that would have made Caligula blush. Not only has
she been exposed, but the front company she worked with, and
anybody who showed up at the annual picnic, and her entire list
of pen pals. It's safe to assume there are people in foreign
countries who are dead because of this. If not dead, at least
they've had to disguise themselves as llamas and flee the territory
on their hands and knees. If that isn't tweaking the bull on
the bag, I don't know what is. And Tenet agrees with me on this
point- not just because we're lovers, either. He has initiated
proceedings.
When the CIA initiates proceedings, entire
nations collapse in flames. Economies deflate like whoopee cushions.
Powerful men are found dead in alleys with their heads encased
in cheese wax. It might be said that the CIA has an extremely
low hubris threshold. As it now stands, the president (after
only a few months of doing nothing) has ordered his people to
cooperate with his other people in finding the source of this
leak in the scandal now known rather lamely as 'Intimigate' (I
prefer 'What, her?-gate' myself). This erstwhile investigation
will not satisfy the CIA, methinks. Even Bush's own man at the
CIA won't be satisfied with this, especially seeing as he's the
one who took the fall last time. Whether or not a special prosecutor
is appointed to oversee the investigation, there's a pissed-off
CIA stomping around town at the moment with a 55-gallon drum
(that's 208.45 liters) of whupass. Let us recap:
Bush's people, and I use the word 'people'
loosely, decided to make the CIA take the fall for the one canard
out of several thousand that a slumbering nation happened to
catch on its way into the swamps of the Mesopotamian desert in
the name of anti-terrorism. This canard also happened to be
one of the few that the CIA specifically suggested Bush not espouse
as an excuse for his little camping trip to hell, so we have
a painful insult/injury compound already, vis-à-vis the
CIA. Shortly thereafter, same Bush people, in a moment of good-natured
backstabbing retribution, exposed one of the CIA's own assets,
and by extension all the other assets to which she can be connected
by a reasonably bright foreign intelligence agency with access
to a telephone. I'm just guessing here, but it seems to me that
an agency willing to overthrow the government of Guatemala in
the name of banana imports ought to have no problem saying "screw
you right back" to a bunch of venal, inbred frat boys blundering
their way through their last terms in public office.
You don't play dirty tricks on the folks
who invented them. Expect events in the next few months to get
very interesting as political revelations start to occur at the
most embarrassing moments, policy notions don't get properly
cooked intelligence to back them up, and personal secrets float
into public view for no apparent reason, drifting down the cloaca
publicum to the delight of scandal-mongers everywhere. The
CIA has officially been dicked with. They might even start parting
people's brains again, although probably not the president's.
They don't make spatulas that small.
Ben Tripp
is a screenwriter and cartoonist. Ben also has a
lot of outrageously priced crap for sale here. If his
writing starts to grate on your nerves, buy some and maybe he'll
flee to Mexico. If all else fails, he can be reached at: credel@earthlink.net
Weekend
Edition Features for Sept. 26 / 28, 2003
Tim Wise
The
Other Race Card: Rush and the Politics of White Resentment
Peter
Linebaugh
Rhymsters
and Revolutionaries: Joe Hill and the IWW
Gary Leupp
Occupation
as Rape-Marriage
Bruce
Jackson
Addio
Alle Armi
David Krieger
A Nuclear 9/11?
Ray McGovern
L'Affaire Wilsons: Wives are Now "Fair Game" in Bush's
War on Whistleblowers
Col. Dan Smith
Why Saddam Didn't Come Clean
Mickey
Z.
In Our Own Image: Teaching Iraq How to Deal with Protest
Roger Burbach
Bush Ideologues v. Big Oil in Iraq
John Chuckman
Wesley Clark is Not Cincinnatus
William S. Lind
Versailles on the Potomac
Glen T.
Martin
The Corruptions of Patriotism
Anat Yisraeli
Bereavement as Israeli Ethos
Wayne
Madsen
Can the Republicans Get Much Worse? Sure, They Can
M. Junaid Alam
The Racism Barrier
William
Benzon
Scorsese's Blues
Adam Engel
The Great American Writing Contest
Poets'
Basement
McNeill, Albert, Guthrie
Keep CounterPunch
Alive:
Make
a Tax-Deductible Donation Today Online!
home / subscribe
/ about us / books
/ archives / search
/ links /
|