Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
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6:26 pm - i need you so much closer
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there's the taste of blood at the back of my throat because i've yet to recover from my second nosebleed this week. let me tell you how frightening it is to all of a sudden feel a warm rush over your lip while you're in the shower and then look down to see the water running red.
i don't know what's going on. i'm not doing cocaine. and it's not like my nasal membranes or whatever are cracked cause it's all wintry out. they're quite lubricated, in fact. i joked that maybe i have cancer and james told me to shut up. oh well.
current mood: upset
current music: Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlantacism
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2003
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2:18 pm - stupid
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i really only did this cause strub is such a cutie.
What is your favorite..
gum: cinnaburst
restaurant: the olive tree
drink: cranberry juice
season: fall
type of weather: sun and the cripsy mid-october air
emotion: loved
thing to do on a half day: shop
late-night activity: sex
sport: baseball
city: new york
store: h&m;?
When was the last time you..
cried: last wednesday
played a sport: senior year of high school
laughed: 45 minutes ago
hugged someone: 45 minutes ago
kissed someone: 45 minutes ago
felt depressed: friday nite
felt elated: this morning
felt overworked: two weeks ago
faked sick: high school
lied: yesterday
What was the last..
word you said: bye
thing you ate: rotini
song you listened to: hakuna matata
thing you drank: tea
place you went to: my kitchen
movie you saw: don juan demarco
movie you rented: no clue
concert you attended: rrrrrrrradiohead
Who was the last person you..
hugged: james
cried over: james
kissed: james
danced with: james?
shared a secret with: teen
had a sleepover with: james
called: my mom
went to a movie with: teen
saw: scott
were angry with: james
couldn't take your eyes off of: james
obsessed over: james
Have you ever..
danced in the rain: yes
kissed someone: yes
done drugs: yes
drank alcohol: yes
slept around: yes
partied 'til the sun came up: yes
had a movie marathon: no
gone too far on a dare: no
spun until you were immensely dizzy: yes
taken a survey quite like this before: yes
... now realizing that i am a crazy bad person.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, November 29th, 2003
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4:23 pm - i'll never make it alone
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so today i sat on my couch watching mtv2's top 22 cds of the past 20 years only in the hopes of catching whatever tail-end position radiohead had managed to snag. as expected, ok computer cashed in pathetically around 14, wedged somewhere predictably behind hybrid theory and more forgivibly, appetite for destruction. but that wasn't the worst of it.
chuck klosterman appeared as one of the panelists, and to my horror, in person, he is not actually mike skelly, the hottest psyc lab TA to ever walk the planet. klosterman looks just like his picture on the jacket cover of sex, drugs and cocoa puffs. total buzzkill that was -- but still, i've been more disappointed.
even after jagged little pill was unveiled at number one was i not at the height of my fury. oh no. not until some crotchety hag from women who rock magazine -- the clue i should've used to brace myself for the oncoming debauchery -- decided to pipe up and describe alanis morrissette's lyrics as speaking for "all of us" ("us" meant to encapsulate all of womankind) did i sit up from my comfortable recline and start shouting profanities at my tv.
let it be known if it isn't already, i am by no means a feminist. i have never identified with any of the many resurrgances of the "girl power" movement and i've certainly never considered myself as belonging to some collective brethren of female-hood. no. nicole sia is not included in ms. pseudo-rock journalist's category of "us". i think things like women who rock magazine are a goddamn abomination. so when said pseudo-rock writer chick decided that alanis's oily-haired canadienne confessions of giving head in a theatre are speaking for MY existence, i take offense. why does every female rock star have to represent ever other girl in the world? the assumption is just too fucking cliche at this point.
and to tell you the truth, carly simon said absolutely nothing for me. neither did pat benetar. and neither did grace slick, aimme mann, janis joplin, aretha franklin, lauryn hill, and whatever other overrated songstress you want to throw in the mix. so if i can't relate to the motherfucking queen of soul, alanis morrissette can just kiss my ass. and so can women who rock magazine.
/rant
current mood: pissed
current music: OutKast - Hey Ya
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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12:07 pm
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AndThatsKat (11:23:33 PM): this was just my way of telling you that you are inherently cool, which is almost embarassing to say becuz this may look like i look up to u, and i dont like telling ppl that. but...dah well!!!!! your coolness in writing has made u a quasi-idol! ha......yeahhhhhhhhhh. have a good thanksgiving, i'm reading the rest of your entry and then passing out. don't read mine....i think the last thing i did was either cut and paste an IM conversation or bitch about how embarassing it is to drunkenly (ok, maybe i was sober....heh) hit on guys and get blatantly rejected to the point that they are running away from me....literally. hahahahah
AndThatsKat (11:23:34 PM): BYE!
.....
back in bing.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
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6:54 pm - don't make love so hard
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sure, james and i look like a happy couple on the outside:
but there's a dark side to our romance.
sometimes james accuses me of stealing his underwear.
and i do steal it. because i'm straight-up hardcore, and me and my cohort, A-dizzle, pimp that shit out on the black market for sick profit.
but sometimes, james finds out, and he gets angry. and then he beats me*.
our fighting ultimately goes nowhere, though, as i am inhumanely strong and overpower james into submission -- everytime.
as you'd expect, after all is said and done, i'm pretty drained too. so we make up and go to bed.
the end.
so yeah, i updated the website with new pictures, including the infamous tommy davidson boob-signing photos. i think the fact that the ones of adam and i are hella blurry makes them look bad ass.
you can see the rest of them here.
* and i apologize for making lite of domestic violence. i'm an awful human being. wife-beating is wrong.
current mood: headachey
current music: The Faint (w/Conor Oberst) - Dust
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(comment on this)
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Friday, November 21st, 2003
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5:47 am - chapter 9: porn
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this entry has a preface, the pretention of which inherently dictates that i'm reading a new novel. i realize after writing it, that that first line serves as an obligatory preface to the actual preface i intended to write and here that goes now.
i sort of have this problem. it's not really a problem per se, it's just this thing i do sometimes that is neither good nor bad, and not so much habit, but more of a behavior that i'm typically concious of engaging in while i'm in the act of doing it. whenever i'm introduced to a new author whose style surprises, inspires, entertains, or just downright impresses me, i happen to subsume the methods of their prose and adopt them into my own writing style. i'm doing it right now. i first realized that this had happened yet again as i sat down to pen tonite's editorial. i began with a point and ended up rambling into the kitschy, catchy, alt-culture lingo of my latest obsession chuck klosterman. (for the record, sex, drugs, and cocoa puffs is the most hilarious set of essays ever committed to print, and i am wholeheartedly grateful to teen for introducing it to me, and unabashadly in love with my boyfriend for buying me my own copy.) see! i did it again right there. that was an entirely klosterman digression, denoted parenthetically only because i don't know how to code footnotes in html. i tend to get obsessed with things i deem "amazing" and "wonderful" which are typical adjectives in the nicolesia lexicon, and i guess it should be considered complimentary to the authors whom i unconciously (and yet entirely conciously) plaigarize. when i first read irvine welsh, the resulting product pouring from my literary fingers was unshakably rooted in the present tense: he says, she says, he fucks, she shoots up. that's one of welsh's signature stylistic tactics, and so, it became mine. after i devoured haruki murakami's norwegian wood in a marathon 25-hour read, i noticed i was writing in simple language with rough metaphor -- as if i had written it in another language first and then translated into english. well if you haven't guessed already, THAT WAS PRECISLY THE CASE WITH MURAKAMI'S WORK! perhaps i'm doomed to only be as good as a copy of the authors i emulate -- or perhaps in falling short of striving to be one thing, i'll land somewhere else interesting. (i can't take credit for that thought. either radiohead producer, nigel godrich, or some capitol records exec said it of the band back in 1997 shortly after the release of the best album of forever, ok computer.)
there marks the end of my preface, and here goes what i really wanted to say in this entry in my best klosterman impression:
apparently when i get home at 5 a.m. from a long nite of producing the school newspaper, i am a maniac. one would think that the graveyard-shift grind would drain every last ounce of energy from me and that upon returning home (and to my own home for once) i would immediately take respite in the comfort of my bed. but no, not this uber-wired, psychofreak of an editor in chief. upon returning home from yet another nite of journalistic endeavors, i break out the softscrub and a sponge.
that's right. at 5 a.m. there i was with those metal catchy things that you stick around the burners on your stove scrubbing away like martha stuart was on her way over with a camera crew. grease never knew a nemesis like me. i stood over my sink, hearing inside my head a running monologue of the words you are now reading and the hook from blue oyster cult's "don't fear the reaper." i was a force to be reckoned with, and that stove -- for however long it has been in existence, and for however long it has gone unused -- has never been so goddamn spit-polish clean. and that was only me in the kitchen. there were indeed wars waged in the bathroom, living room, and the gettysburg of all cleaning wars... my bedroom. never have such gargantuan piles of clothes gone unhung for so long.
having said all that, i feel i've successfully tapped my klosterman conjuration and can now finish the second half of his novel exsanguinated of the juices of his authorial influence. breathe a deep sigh of relief.
goodnite and goodmorning.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, November 7th, 2003
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5:04 pm - how you turned my world, you precious thing
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james <3
(i'm so "7th grade").
current music: Cheap Trick - The Flame
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
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2:11 pm - tischy artfuck birthday photos
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Wednesday, October 8th, 2003
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2:17 pm
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2003
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7:17 pm
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Monday, September 29th, 2003
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2:17 pm - yay for tuohy's mom's new camera that we waited an hour to get at office max
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1:57 pm
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so you think you know how amazing mike is?
let me tell you how amazing mike is:
EXHIBIT A
saturday nite, i made another lasagna so teen and beth could come over for dinner and meet the bf. over dinner, i noticed mike really had only eaten about half of his piece of lasagna, so i asked him if it was ok, and he said yes. i jokingly shoved another forkful into his mouth and he dutifully swallowed it down. the next day, as we're lying in bed, he turns to me and says he has a confession to make. apparently due to a childhood trauma, he has an insane taste aversion to lasagna. mike didn't want to clue me into his hatred of the noodly stuff because he thought i had my heart set on making it for him.
EXHIBIT B
RADIOHEAD TICKETS
EXHIBIT C
not only did he willingly surrender his "mike's pump & serve" trucker hat, but he withstood about 28 hours worth of ziggy stardust.
love him love him love him love.
current mood:  loved
current music: David Bowie - Lady Stardust
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(comment on this)
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Friday, September 19th, 2003
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2:35 am - yes, indeed, i am a fat slut.
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Renaissance Vie (10:02:22 PM): you can't turn anyone on you fat slut
the things i come home too :)
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 17th, 2003
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10:29 pm - the day the lights went out
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Saturday, August 30th, 2003
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12:41 am - dial "B-I-N-G-O" for white trash
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so i swear to god, this is the conversation i overheard while at your local CVS pharmacy on the westside of binghamton.
"so i thought you were in jail?"
"i was. they put me in regular jail for a month and a half."
"so what are you doing now?"
"just hanging around my porch."
goddamn.
now i will get drunk with my coworkers.
and somebody at penn state loves me :)
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
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10:52 am
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Saturday, August 16th, 2003
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8:07 pm - just tell her you love her as she's crawling away...
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my mother is gone for the weekend and the two of them are laughing upstairs like rabies monkeys.
and oh my god i miss him so much.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 6th, 2003
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7:01 pm
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so he does cocaine now?
glad to hear that he's moved on to bigger and better things.
estimated semi-permanent return to binghamton: 8/27/03
can't wait to see you there...
current mood:  bored
current music: Mogwai - Kids Will Be Skeletons
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(comment on this)
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Monday, July 21st, 2003
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1:10 am
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Thursday, July 10th, 2003
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6:28 pm - FAMOUUUUUS
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my review of 'hail to the thief' for the summer issue of pipe dream was picked up nationally by the university press wire service.
so now it's being read across the country.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
and so was my shitty editorial. but that's not nearly as exciting.
current mood: enthralled
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(comment on this)
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annoyed