dook! dook!

William Faulkner wrote you. Yes, you're a genius,
you drunken old coot.


Which Author's Fiction are You?
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too much bourbon last night before i heard about elliot smith, a stupid amount after.
it's sad to hear about the loss of a fellow musician, sucks more when they've been a source of inspiration.

last night while engaging in post work bourbon at the lounge, i recieved a phone call from a joe tinkle. haven't talked to the kid since i was living in seattle and the broncos were on their way to winning a superbowl. damn good to hear his voice though the music in the bar and the fact i was playing pool with some dumbass didn't make for good conversation. i'll be talking to him again this weekend about somepossible musical endeavours sometime in the future. thanks for givin' him my info bryan.

other news: playing some music. though only in the writing stages things are (crossing fingers) starting to look like tis could work out long term. 'er well only if a good drummer could be found.


more soon...

you are either a record nerd or not a scenester at
all. you are the coolest of the bunch. bravo,
dude.


what type of lame scenester are you?
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how long will we swallow?

the past is dead. a carcass to look at rotting in the corner, no matter how hard you try to admit that it existed you are disgusted by it's decay. but also at times you find it to be something much more than that. i can't stop running headlong into the carcass afraid that maybe someday i'll never see it again thus losing sight of myself. i'm wrong.

i'm leaving the carcass behind. there is something much more pleasurable about whats in store. friendships, bands, drinking buddies, and most of all freedom to exist as who you are ignorant of expectation. because it's the expectation that makes us lose out on what we can be.

i have in this past month been rocked by change, rocked by beauty and rocked by loss. i am still standing better changed and not as deluded and depressed as i once have been.

denial is fruitless
love is not a silly aftertaste
hope is important
bourbon cures everything
and my guitar waits lonely in the corner waiting for those notes to be played selflessly.
someday this will all make sense





talk hard.

all moved in and i can finally relax and enjoy things a bit more. part one of the great re-arrangement is complete. now it's time to start working on the rest..

sometimes you think you're better than me. sometimes i think i am better than you.

someday we'll realise we're the same.

funk..hate funk...damnit.

past present future passed.

we're ending and we're begining. so it goes. truth never presents itself gently. like a sudden burst of fresh air we find ourselves overwhelmed, in past hangouts waiting for the past to present itself. knowing all the while we're stupid for trying but it happens anyway. emotions are good at making fools of us. swallow another drink and let the hot drunk crazy chick hit on you in full view of everyone. reasoning becomes another dictation when you've been drinking and the good lord knows i have not let him down on my current intake of that sweet sweet bourbon. how many times do i have to walk down this road before i figure out that i'm doing it all wrong? how many times do i have to envision your face before i take that next shot? how many times do i let you bail out on a date before i learn that now is the best time to walk away?

the answer follows in two words: i dunno.

i knew from the start that ending the situation was best for both but i never expected her to keep wanting to hang out but the bail out at the last minute. should've learned that time is essential to beating her out of my head. should've learned alot. i'm a simple ape. moving forward with out a second thought until she shows herself and then i'm stuck in a black hole again. wanting with out satiation. sad, pathetic and desperate. keep trying to end the subtle feelings of regret and doubt and self inflicted bullshit.



so it goes.



"ok so i was sitting in this diner and this man walked up to me and said
'hey, buddy i haven't had anything to eat in a long time.'
so i bit him!
i dunno if i told that one right." - braak

you are Sick of it All - old school boys who don't
take shit from anybody!


What NYHC band are you??
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you think everything will work itself out. but people give out too much shit..

moving at the end of the month, getting out of bad situations.

miss her, but we all hafta move on.

job good though boring at times, except i can't complain.

"in pictures your mine" -count the stars.

my last post may have seemed like more of the same, but i sucked up the last of what breath i had and i boke up with her tonight. it hurt like hell. god i love her.

so the way i see it.. i fly into sea-tac at 10:30 am on monday.. i'm still looking for a place to crash for about 6 nights.. if you have a couch let me know.. if not thats cool i'll still be there.. i wanna chill out have some drinks and enjoy life for the time i am there.. life is different.. trying to live in a way i'm not used to..
the girlfriend and i are dating, which seems at times like i am at her beck and call... gonna try and hold on to this though to see if my gut instinct is true.. if so i am out.. need to live again.. seattle will help that i know because it's beauty is so ever present....

so happy to get to see those sunsets again...

though i know some people don't care.. and i know it's important to me..
the girl and i are breaking up. it kills me to an extent i cannot even give justice in words.
i'm taking off to seattle because i need the vacation and i know i'll need the space.
i got hit on tonight by a rather attractive girl.. in spite of things it made me feel nice..
though i find it wierd that she complimented my nose:
( you decide )

this object and/or link you decide kicks my ass...
thanks beddove for the laugh.
goodnight

i'll be in seattle from april 7th through the 14th.. i'm looking for people to hang out with and i'm looking for places to crash.. i need the break.. and thats the only place right now i know that i'll feel comfortable... email me at dale@monkey-haus.com if you can help a brotha out.. there is money available for those willing to provide floor or couch..

if there is anyway i could hang out with those i've "met " over lj please email me with phone numbers cause i'd like to meet all of you...

been trying to figure how much snow we've actually gotten so far.. all i can find is that they say we have 16 inches though at about 2 this afternoon at my girlfriends house there was 14 inches.. it took me an hour or so to walk home 'cause she couldn't get her truck out of the garage.

i just went to take a look outside and i saw what looked like at least 3 feet of snow in the driveway.
( Observe )
i was telling my dad about a month ago that we were due for a big ass snow storm, but he didn't believe me..
now we can't find the snow shovel. gonna be a bitch trying to get out of the house now..

PS: bigraoul you will be missed..