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To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Fri December 19, 2003:

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# of Comments

(Moultrie Observer)

Grits argument turns violent

(1)

WTC replacement "Freedom Tower" unveiled today

(105)

(CTV.ca)

Silver cars least likely to have accidents. Brown cars have highest risk. Hippie-flower-patterned VW buses most likely to be hit intentionally

(83)

(KCAL9)

"Help. I've fallen and I can't get up. And my cats are eating me"

(74)

Japan formally adopts missile-defense shield. North Korea stamps its little feet

(55)

Chevy readies new "American Revolution" ad campaign to taut their patriotic new offerings, which include the South Korean-built Aveo, Euro-designed Malibu and Canadian-built Silverado

(86)

Rapist allowed to go free after jury says "Guilty" but judge hears "Not Guilty"

(68)

"Sotally Tober" voted best boat name of 2003

(58)

AudioEdit theme: What would you like to hear God say at the Pearly Gates? (Link goes to GIS for James Lipton)

(20)

Memphis Fark party, Monday, Dec. 22 -- Blue Monkey, 7pm. Come get yer Fark on

(33)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop the Fark topic tags running amok on an unsuspecting world. Link goes to some PS fodder

(90)

(The San Diego Channel)

Lawn gnome missing in Austin. Has visited Dallas, Graceland and Grand Ole Opry

(32)

Sony unveils new robot that can jog. Next step, Terminator model 1.0

(31)

Keith Richards cheats death yet again -- turns 60 today

(36)

Conservative thinks that Howard Dean wants a running mate who can't legally be vice president until May 2005

(157)

Police impound man's trailer. Man's brother tries to steal it back. Article includes hilarious quotes

(27)

(News Tribune)

National Guardsman in Iraq gives up his chance for Christmas leave so another soldier can go home to his wife and young kids

(88)

Popular demand resurrects staged hockey fights. First bill: Tony Twist vs Kurt Walker

(35)

Strange man bursts into school classroom, hits student in head with a stick, runs away

(53)

It's just a coincidence that Eagle County required Kobe to be in court the same day the Lakers play the Nuggets in L.A.

(54)

New NASA space telescope sends back first dazzling images (with pics)

(58)

To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Thu December 18, 2003:

SUBMIT A LINK

# of Comments

Japanese hip hop catching on, but has fewer break downs

(123)

Will my kids be safe if I keep dating my sex-offender boyfriend?

(129)

(NBC-2.com)

Burglars mistake unmarked patrol car for their getaway car. Deputy waiting inside tips them off

(19)

(NHL.com)

Old and busted: Sergei Fedorov. New hotness: Pavel Datsyuk

(142)

Burger-eating contest breaks out on Wall Street

(49)

(Contra Costa Times)

What do cats see when they do that whole freaky stare-at-nothing-in-abject-horror schtick? If you've ever had a cat, you've wondered about this

(190)

Latvian man sets record alcohol level at twice the fatal dose: 0.722 percent -- 0.08 percent is legally drunk

(101)

(Apple.com)

Garfield trailer has arrived. Not surprisingly, it sucks

(197)

(Some Guy)

Photoshop this still from "Star Trek: Nemesis." Difficulty = bad movie

(177)

(BCS Eagle)

Man runs around naked, then steals milk truck. Jailarity ensues

(29)

Paris Hilton's TV show outdraws Bush interview, just like on Fark

(220)

(Chunky Soup)

Campbell's Chunky will donate a can of soup to the hungry for each click vote for your favorite NFL team. Make someone's holiday chunky

(133)

Croatian Christmas card arrives 10 years later. Card speaks of great new band, "Ace of Base"

(56)

Hilarious compendium of offbeat news stories from around the world that didn't receive the coverage they deserved. Except on Fark

(27)

(Accuweather)

Dreaming of a white Christmas? Here's the historical chances of that actually happening

(62)

(Al Jazeera)

Saddam's bodyguard betrayed him, drugged him and led the U.S. to his hole. Jacko can relate

(111)

Bill O'Reilly lied about his book sales, Matt Drudge shows. O'Reilly responds by calling Drudge "threat to democracy"

(¾)

(Guinness)

Free Guinness bar towels

(132)

Cancer survivor goes from death's door to the wilderness and bags a record elk

(90)

Skinny man attacks huge prostitute. Huge prostitute strips skinny guy naked, parades him around, then drags him to police

(72)

Norwegian geezer drives wheelchair on three-lane highway

(28)

Car thief gets two cars stuck in snow on same night. Good samaritan stops to help two stuck cars on same night. Weirdness ensues

(24)

(WMTW.com)

"Suicidal" motorist fails to achieve goal despite driving into snowbank with slit wrists, boa constrictor wrapped around neck

(50)

Hegre Archives -- probably the best erotic website in the world (article possible not safe for work)

(74)

Lee Boyd Malvo found guilty of sniper shootings

(110)

Bank robber tries to elude police by throwing wads of money at them

(20)

Makers of Grand Theft Auto sued by man who claims they stole his idea. Possible settlement may include letting him fight the lawsuits that blame the game for random murders

(66)

Michael Jackson officially charged with seven counts of child molestation, two counts of administering an intoxicating agent to a minor to commit a felony, and one count of being really creepy

(215)

(Louisville)

Today's highway feast -- cookie dough

(37)

(WNBC)

In over half the U.S., if you have a party and one of your guests drives drunk and hurts or kills somebody, you can be held legally responsible

(95)

(WMC-TV)

FedEx MD-10 crashes, burns on landing in Memphis (w/video)

(164)

Duct-taped robbery victim manages to dial 911 with foot

(20)

Osaka residents ignore corpse at downtown intersection for two months

(58)

"Really, Your Honor, I saw little green men on my mommy's boyfriend's chest so I stabbed them all. LSD? Yes, Your Honor, a little"

(81)

D.C. government finds $190 million, pays off former mayor's crack bill

(27)

(National Review Online)

Get ready for Jayson Blair the Sequel, starring NYT reporter Charlie LeDuff

(101)

Latest retiree sport: Build your own coffin

(50)

Almost 3,000 of Japan's liquor store owners have died or gone missing since September

(89)

Germans (and German TV) about to get harder due to a loophole that will allow them to show hardcore porn on TV

(103)

(NY Daily News)

Two Yankees charged with assault for Boston bullpen fight in October. Yankees, Duke suck

(62)

When leaving the train, please remember to take any newspapers, umbrellas or babies you may have brought along with you

(45)

(Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

Milwaukee Athletic Club bans nude swimming, upsetting some members. Which begs the question: Who wants to swim naked in Milwaukee?

(100)

(Teleport City)

The wild holiday exploits of Chewbacca, Luke, Han Solo, and that foxy Princess Leia with special appearances by Bea Arthur and Jefferson Starship

(113)

(Some Guy)

Interview with Drew on the Dan Tencer show (RealAudio)

(37)

Earliest example of human artwork discovered. Earliest critics review: "It sucks"

(61)

Hollywood continues to plunder your childhood. Jim Carrey to be the Six Million Dollar Man

(137)

(Some Guy)

NORAD will use radar, satellites, SantaCams and jet fighters to track Santa's progress, assisted by Santa's special buddy Ringo Starr

(120)

Michael Jackson to be charged with child molestation. Apparently not enough zeros on his out-of-court settlement

(78)

We already linked the pics, now see the video: Carmen Electra photographs Jennifer Walcott nude (not safe for work)

(91)

63-year-old hammer thrower found guilty of using steroids. First clue was that he was a 63-year-old hammer thrower

(31)

(1010wins.com)

Joey Buttafuoco explains to undercover cops how to file phony insurance claims. Jailarity ensues

(53)

Survey by Gillette finds women prefer clean-shaven men. In other news, study by Taco Bell determines that Mexican food is sexy

(124)

President Bush overruled by three-judge panel on designating man detained on U.S. soil as enemy combatant

(∞)

Photoshop Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski praying to the gods of suckiness

(106)

(San Diego UT)

San Diego Union-Tribune prints the Purdue fake scholarship story as fact. Word for word. Plagiarism?

(159)

Faced with chronic shortage of space, Amsterdam will use 1,100 shipping containers as student housing. Luckily, no shortage of chronic

(46)

Man charges himself with incest to dispel rumors

(43)

Jacko joins Nation of Islam

(271)

P. Diddy to star in "Raisin in the Sun" as Raisin #2

(47)

Talk about the Return of the King here

(lots)

The American Film Institute names its Top 10 films and television programs of the year, which inexplicably includes "Everybody Loves Raymond"

(262)

(Zagats)

"At least the cockroach enjoyed my salad" and other outtakes that Zagat didn't put into their 2004 restaurant reviews

(53)

Malaysian python slithering from car to car

(24)

(Town Online)

Being arrested for DUI twice within two hours was just the beginning of this guy's problems

(50)

Freak lightning strike starts chain-reaction cow barbecue

(50)

Opal beetle doesn't just look like an opal, it really is an opal

(34)

(News14)

John McCain, who was himself tortured in Vietnam, says torturing Saddam would be beneath America

(458)

Platypuses target prey with electro-sensors. It just puts charge on its bill

(33)

(Some Guy)

Post overheard cubical conversations you never wanted to overhear. Link goes to everything you ever wanted to know about cat diarrhea, a topic this Farker was forced to listen to

(236)

Drunken partygoer discovers car key unlocks nearby police car. Hilarity ensues

(25)

Theme: What you hope you don't see when you wake up after New Year's Eve partying. Link goes nowhere. Difficulty = hungover

(69)

Tourist stranded in desert dies of dehydration. Maybe he should have drank some of the 80 LITERS OF WATER he had with him

(110)

(Variety.com)

Hollywood so bankrupt for ideas that it regularly copies itself

(91)

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