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what odd contrast today has been, from morning to afternoon.
first off, the train ride to work was just. interesting. yes, i'm used to meeting odd people on mass transit. it happens to me practically every time i ride the bus, so it's no odd occurence to me, normally. i don't consider it odd if the guy sleeping at the back of the bus starts talking to me or something. but this guy across from me on the train, for some reason...
he bugged me.
I think it was because he didn't make any attempt to talk to me. i sat down on the train, started reading my book. pretty standard. look up, glance around the train to see if i know anyone. notice this guy across the aisle staring at me. late 20ish. a bit unkempt. when i notice him staring at me, a brief moment of eye contact occurs. then he did that funny little eye brow raise. then a wink. then a smile. one of those overzealous smiles which simply appears too happy. I quickly look back down at my book, attempting to signal my disinterest. i really didn't feel like being hit on by another guy a decade older than me today. i still had that creepy feeling he was staring at me. whenever i glanced up from my book, seeing who new had boarded the train, he would do it again, the same routine. eyebrow raise, wink, clown smile. creepy. perhaps he was just trying to be friendly. but i had that slimy feeling when he was looking at me, that foreboding premonition that i would regret it if I talked to him. He waved at me when i got off the train. i really hope he doesn't regularly take that train... i don't think i want to run into him again.
in short, the morning sucked. work, as usual, other than today it sucked instead of being mostly bearable, even almost fun. instead of being in the clay studio (my studio), I was stationed in the wonder corner studio (an unfair arrangement, seeing as i had gotten there first and had the clay studio all ready to open when john arrived and declared that he simply had to have the clay studio today. not wanting to make a big deal of it, i agreed to take on print making in the wonder corner. figured i would switch him after midmorning breaks or something. what an oversight. no such luck.) in the wonder corner this month, we have been doing printing. an easy concept, one would think. you paint a picture on a piece of plastic. you put a piece of paper on top when you're done. you roll something across the paper to press it down and then pull it off. behold, you have made a print of the picture that you painted on the plastic. clean, simple, easy, right?
wrong.
anything that involves putting paint in the hands of a five year old is neither clean, simple, or easy. if it involves putting paint in the hands of twenty five year olds... gah. especially when they are unsupervised by any form of parent figure. of course, as museum staff, i have no authority in the eyes of the children or the parents. even though they are in my studio. Pine cones forbid that i might actually know how to keep things running smoothly (a side note on 'pine cones': i've noticed that i use far too many phrases that really have no meaning to me, being that they utilize religious terminology... 'heaven forbid.' 'good god.' 'god damn it.'... etc. instead of using meaningless religious phrases such as these for expression, i have decided to substitute other random nouns for the religion-related ones. thus, the phrases will be equally meaningless, but will not force myself to associate my speech with beliefs i do not maintain. moving on though...) the only peaceful moments in that studio today were before i opened the doors to the public. some of the morning's highlights. one charming parent spilt an entire cup of paint under the table, but rather than seem like a 'bad parent' and tell me, they simply left. I began to notice strange yellow footprints everywhere. eventually, i think to look under the table. I discover a veritable lake of yellow paint which everyone is stepping in. yay. this, i had the privilege of cleaning up by hand with a small 3 inch cube of red sponge. some other children decided that paint brushes were for wimps and that finger painting was the way to go. now, i have no objection to finger painting. in fact, i find it quite enjoyable occassionally. however, when five year olds fingerpaint, paint goes everywhere. seriously, you will discover paint in places you did not know existed. and of course, since i work there, parents assume that i'm just supposed to be there to clean, not to talk to their children (which is what my job description is. talk to the kids. ask questions. inspire creativity. etc. NOT clean up spilt paint and wash printing plexes.) so no one would clean up their own mess. blah. being that the studio was crowded the entire morning, I was just washing painting stuff the whole time. that, or mopping up spills.
now, that's my idea of a good morning.
heh.
life improved significantly at one oclock in the afternoon. merrily i left the museum and headed off. not home though, as would be expected. quite the opposite, i hopped on the train downtown. wheee.
i think my mother is really starting to trust me.
it's about time.
this morning she said it would be fine if i wanted to go downtown to powells after work. keep in mind, this is the same mother who has before stated that she thinks my simply being downtown for a few moments will cause me to relapse. the same mother who had thought that the moment she allowed me to get on a bus again, i would run. and yet now, she's starting to trust me again. perhaps because i'm being trustworthy again. funny how things work like that.
it was raining beautifully when i got off work. that alone significantly lifted my spirits, especially after the lava-lamp forsaken heat that we've been having for the past few days. What can i say? I'm a child of the water, a child of the rain. Perhaps that is why I have chosen it as a name for myself, adopting the title of Rayne as one fitting me more than mine own. I danced in the rain as i walked from work to the train. nothing overt, that would of required energy. but the rain was rejuvenating, and put a spring back in my step after a difficult morning.
the train downtown was uneventful. no new friends, no creepy disheveled old men.
still raining when i disembarked in downtown pdx. theres something about this city that speaks to me. the way that even in the 'urban' center of the area, there are still huge trees. frankly, i like portland. it's a nice city. i haven't spent nearly as much time in it lately as i would like, but i'm breaking out of the suburbs again.
i spent my afternoon in powells. i swear to cheesecake, if that bookstore was a living entity, i would marry it. powells, of course, is a dangerous store for me, the book fanatic (literaphile, maybe?), to enter. Its huge and i could spend days there without even realizing it. and i always end up spending so much... because every book i find is such a good deal, used and all... but i find a lot of good deals. i bought... 12? 13? books today, for about 65 bucks i think. so not too expensive for any individual book, but it adds up. good thing i'm working i guess, so i can support my addiction here. the way i'm calculating, with the rate i've been reading... these books will last me about two weeks. three weeks, tops. and then it will be time for me to go to powells again.
it would be a lot more convenient if i could do the library thing. but i've given up on libraries. funny thing, i would forget that they were library books and then the fines would accumulate. when you end up paying five dollar fines on every book you check out, you realize that it would be a lot cheaper to just go and buy used copies of the books you want to read. after all, you can always sell them back if you don't like them. needless to say of course, this philosophy has caused my personal library to inflate faster than a hamster in a microwave. i need a new bookcase...
i was happy to discover it was still raining when i left powells. i danced and skipped. its interesting how few weird looks i got, actually. portland is fairly accepting to frolicking little geeky punk ska girls.
on the way to the train station, i stopped in to heaven (for the uninformed. saying 'heaven' there does not violate my new code of not using religious words i don't believe in. 'heaven' is the actual name of this cafe.). i love how downtown it's possible to get coffee that is not starbucks. for once, it's affordable! and not corporate! why, oh why, must there not be such places in suburbia?
max ride home was standard. this chickie kept looking at me (checking me out? i hope so!) so i started to talk to her. she was nice. didn't talk to her long enough to comfortably exchange phone or email, but mayhaps I shall see her again. it's fun to make new friends on mass transit, i must say.
it's still raining now and i'm smiling.
i've written a lot by now.
if you made it this far, congratulations to you. you get a cookie.
i think i'm going to go curl up with the mercury and some tea now. for there is still an evening to the day to have, but i'm not quite ready to start it yet.
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amused
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pensive
lethargic