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Children, What a Waste of Time! [01 Jun 2002|04:54pm] [ mood | devious ] [ music | I'm Going On A Man Hunt ] Hello Everyone, I'm sure you've missed me. There can't be anything more wonderful than me around here. I think you're lucky to have me. I've been thinking that I need a love slave. You know a stud man to service my sexual needs. I'm trying to find a rich old guy who I can use for his cash, then I could keep someone sexy on the side for my filthy sexual needs, but I haven't been too successful at that. I thought I had one all set up but then he fucking died, damn it. I broke a heel at work yesterday, then I broke a nail trying to fix my heel, then I completely lost control and started swearing at everyone and smashing things. I thought I might get fired because for some completely unfair reason everyone hates me at work, but I gave my boss a blow job so I think that pretty much fixed things up for a while. Have you ever noticed how ugly men's penises are? Yuck. I hate them. Well, actually I really just hate men. If I didn't need them for cheap dirty sexual pleasure and money I'd be just fine without them. They're all so weak and helpless anyway. I've never once been in a relationship where I didn't pull all the strings. Where are all the real men? Oh and I bought this plant from my church ladies group, it's a snapping thing that eats bugs, a penis fly trap or something, and it had a little label that said Man Eater, well, of course I just had to get it when I saw that. Can you hear the ice clinking around in my glass? My life is so wonderful, well, it would be if my rotten stinking kids would ever come around and tell me they love me and give me things. Do you know what they do instead, they go off with other people and make babies and leave me out of it. Ungrateful brats. I carried them around in my body, and looked terrible for nine long months, then I went through horrible painful labor and whiped their dirty asses for three years. And what did I get out of it, yes you may ask? Stetch marks and grief, that's all. Kids are a terrible investment, don't have them. I should have spent my time looking for a rich old man. 3 comments|post comment

[30 May 2002|05:47pm] Ahhhh Zamfir. I could listen to you ALL day and night! He really is the master you know! post comment

Me Me Me [30 May 2002|04:29pm] I'm watching Judge Judy, she's telling this girl that she shouldn't have made a scene at her friend's wedding. I think everyone is perfectly justified in venting their feelings wherever, whenever, and however they come up. Judge Judy didn't like that this upset girl got into a fight with the bride in the bathroom and started yelling and clawing at her. She thinks that whenever she gets upset at a party or a family event that she should just take a breath and say, "It's not about me, it's not about me, it's not about me", over and over like a mantra, so that she could "be a mature adult and wait to discuss your grievances at a later time." Is she insane? Of course it's about me. It's always about me. Weddings, wedding rehearsal dinners, baby showers, baptisms, holidays, birthday parties, and graduations are the perfect opportunity to express grievances. That's when everyone is gathered together in one place and you can force them to listen to whatever complaints you have. I get the best complaining done at parties. Plus you cna always have a tantrum and break things up early and then get lots of attention for yourself. That's what I do. I slapped my daughter right in front of the wedding cake at my son's wedding and I got lots of attention for that. She was complaining that I say the word pussy too much. I do not! Anyway my son's pinche wife, who I will hate to my grave, came and sat next to me and talked me down. I think I deserved that little bit of time out for me. No one else was paying attention to me and that asshole (my second ex husband) wasn't with me because he had invited all of his free loading relatives and wanted to talk to them. And there was that fucking bastard (my first ex-husband) sitting out by the pool with that blonde bitch getting all the attention when I was the one who raised the kids. I did all the work. What the fuck did he do? He wouldn't even bring me a taco because he was too busy chasing pussy. My kids are so good looking. They could all be models, every one of em. post comment

What's all this shit? [30 May 2002|01:37pm] I'm in Sam's room now using his computer. What the hell is all of this shit? This thing here is purple, a cylinder tube thing with little green aliens surfing all over it. Astroglide, what's that for? Is this thing some kind of sex toy? Shhhhh. I'm going to go look through his pants. I thought I woke him up with the blender bur he's snoring. Did you know that a little mint will make a drink just a little bit peppier, like cilantro you just gotta have it. Ayeeeee. Oh dear Lord do I love the pan flute. I like the way I dance to this, I have some good looking hips and I like to snap my fingers in the air. Good dance moves, I've still got it. I have a date later with Steve the pilot. He wears a toupee but he takes it off when we fuck. post comment

Today I am Looking At myself in a mirror [30 May 2002|01:19pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Yani ] I woke up today with such a headache. I wonder if it's just hormones or something like that. Maybe it's because I haven't had sex for a while. Oh Christ I need a man. Tried to wake up Sam this morning so he could take out the trash and cut the lawn. All he does is sleep. Why won't he get a job? I think he's smoking marijuana. At least he doesn't bring girls home. Yesterday I had lunch with Anita and she said it's not normal for my boys to be living at home with me. Bitch! I threw a drink in her face and left. I like having my handsome men around. So what if Sam is thirty and Steve is forty one. This works out good for me. I'm a woman, I need protecting. I just won't put up with their bringing home their slutty little sex toy girlfriends. I turned off the cable TV again because they can pay for the damned cable if they want it. I'm fine watching news and all those black shows on channel eleven. Remind me I have to kill that damned cat. He's old and I'm sick of feeding him, he needs to go. post comment

I love myself. [30 May 2002|03:54am] alright now maye I'ma little bit drunk her, but I know a good lokin thing when i see it and I am it. I got three hunk a hunk a big strong men for boiys and there all mine. Im gon na eat em. Ha. I looove this vodka, is so good. You like vdka? Fuck you you prolabky want my boys ferget it, there mine. Wanna see my boobies, well fuck not I wont. Er whas at oh girls fdre from japan that rent my rooms. get out of here use my stove. I got thins to do watch tv pusssy. post comment

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