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mood |
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uncomfortable |
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music |
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Bikini Kill |
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I've been awake all night. Again. Just now, I'm getting the shakes and that sickening feeling in my stomach along with the horrible taste in my mouth. I haven't indulged in any form of substance abuse (including my old friend Mary Jane) since...Oh my God...I dunno actually. A good few days anyway. I'm craving a joint so badly but I'll have to go without. Actually, I might as well tell the story of WHY I have to go without. Here goes:
On Friday night, this guy Hutchy, who Cari used to fuck behind her ex boyfriends back, phoned her to get a couple of gram of coke. (Hutchy is Steve's mate. Steve is the ex boyfy) Anyway, Cari went along to the phone box to phone Cammy to get the coke and Steve phoned her mobile going absolutley apeshit cos he's caught Hutchy on the phone to Cari. He kicked fuck out of Hutchy and came along to Cari's house. I was just leaving the house to look for Cari when Steve came in the front entrance.
Steve: Where the fuck are you going? Me : None of your fucking business Steve: Away to look for Hutchy, are you? Me : No, I'm away to find Cari actually Steve: There's no point in looking for him coz I've just kicked his cunt in. Me : Why? Steve: He's fucking admitted it...
At this point, I immediately thought "Shit! Hutchy's told Steve he shagged Cari while they were going out!" So I scampered off to find Cari while Steve just let himself into the house. I didn't want to try to stop him cos he's much bigger than me and I truly thought he was gonna hit me. I found Cari not far from the house and told her what Steve had said, so naturally, she was totally freaking out and we ran round to the club where Hutchy was to see if he was OK. He was still standing with not a scratch on him but he didn't want to talk to Cari. He just got in a taxi and fucked off home with his coke.
Then Steve came round the corner, shouting at Cari so she just started walking towards her house where we'd left Julie, Dave and Phil sitting. Steve followed us all along the road and just as we were about to go into the house, he shouted, "I've just trashed your house and battered Dave and Phil!" We bolted up the stairs, and sure enough, Cari's plant was smashed, her lava lamp was smashed and Dave was sporting a rather lovely bruise on his face. Phil was OK though, it seemed that Dave took the brunt.
The point is, Steve is/was my dealer but as from then, I want nothing to do with him. But where the fuck am I going to get hash from? I'm not really all that bothered about any other drugs - they're just for recreational purposes - but I need my daily intake of marijuana! It's the only thing that keeps me sane!
And now, to top it all off, I've run out of cigarettes and the shop is ALL the way across the street! I'm still in my pyjamas and I can't be fucked getting dressed but I need nicotine. And I need food too but that can wait. It can wait forever for all I care!
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