Hello! My name is Susan and I am an ostrich and this is my webpage.
I am most famed for my well-kept livejournal. I am also famed for my role in worldwide disasters--Not only did I fuck the world trade center, I also fucked Chernobyl, a bridge in Oklahoma, Mt. Vesuvius, Stonehenge, and the Berlin Wall. You have to take the good with the bad, that is the truth!
The best way to get to know me better, besides moving to my cunt and dining at one of the many 4-star restaurants in the Culinary District near my cervix, is to read about some of my most memorable exploits:
The day I fucked the World Trade Center with no rubber!
The day Stoler & Stoler Consulting advised me to eat toast
When I gave trick or treaters the clap
The mathematical formula for Cher
Uncle Stanley-Bob is a rake...as always.
Terrorists in my cunt!
Upgraded feminine bouquet and I fucked the founding fathers
Birth of Millicent, an ovum.
Fertilization of Millicent, into an emu chick
I peed a Monet, and pictures
I was appointed bursar, I mailed my uncle's penis, I love Shang
New Year's Carpet-cleanings, and the story of Bethany
Bethany died
Sister Todd got pregnant with furniture
Pedro-Eddie popped
Sister Todd births furniture
Poor Petunia-Shawn
I went fork-nubbing
I lost it for a bit
I met Cher!
Arrested for extreme public sneezing
I joined the band of susans
I went sushi-lying
The true story of what happened to Bethany
I upgraded my feminine bouquet again
NYU at the Bunghole
AIDS and a new body
I cried a lot
the boobonic plague
100 things about me, me, me!
Banned from Ethan Allen
I saw Dr. Faust because my repute was ill
I met Flotsam Gregory and I was given a brewery
I raped Shang the first time
Uncle Stanley-Bob is the biggest rake in the business
I granted my cunt self-governance
Things for which I am thankful, Theo!
Shang got raped again
Quotes about me!
Millicent gets sent to charm school
I smelled Justin Timberlake
A fungus
Uncle Stanley-Bob gets arrested for Czech forgery
Elizabeth Smart went to college in my cunt
Why I hate George W. Bush
I met my brother, Promethio
I wooed the Leonard M. Stern School of Business
I had the hooting cough
Explanation of Urban, my son
Millicent humped my LJ mood icon!
Millicent gets sent to a concentration camp
Urban is born
Urban was bad
Millicent does not concentrate at her concentration camp
I drank ether
a booble bath
I had a tapesnake
The day I did not cause a blackout
VirChoose
I'm getting sued again
A registered letter
Another registered letter