There's a strange and powerful disease going around the land, and we've decided to put on our Dr. Krapphammer jacket to offer a diagnosis: The Besides That syndrome.®
It works like this: a writer, while pretending to offer criticism of a loved person or pointing out something negative, claims that besides this specific shortcoming or problem, the loved one is doing a first rate job and/or all is well. The only problem is that the fault is so severe that arguing for perfection in everything else means precious little.
And now, the victims:
Besides the fact that animals are dying from neglect, zoo director Lucy H. Spelman is doing a great job. Smithsonian Secretary Lawrence M. Small
Besides the fact that he has surrounded himself with incompetent fucktards, George W. Bush is a great president. --William Kristol.
Besides the fact that the Republican party hates homosexuals and spends money like drunken sailors, it is the perfect choice for me, a fiscally conservative gay man. --Andrew Sullivan, lifetime.
Besides the fact that my daughter never wants to talk to me, we have a very close and loving relationship. --Neil Cavuto.
Besides the fact that Iraqi insurgents are killing an increasingly high number of American soldiers and civilian contractors in Iraq, things there are going extremely well. --Maggie Gallagher.
Besides the fact that he's a convicted felon who has lied about his support in Iraq and given bogus intelligence to the CIA and the Pentagon, Ahmad Chalabi is the perfect man to lead Iraq. --Bush administration, 2002-2003.
Besides the fact that he traded arms for hostages, cut taxes while increasing spending, and lied about doing the first while pretending he wasn't doing the second, Ronald Reagan was the most greatest president ever. --Linda Chavez.
Besides the fact that Krauthammer's column intentionally misquoted several people so that he could make fun of them and diagnose them with mental illnesses, it was really good work. --Howard Putz Kurtz
Feel free to add your own in the comments, but no prize will be awarded. We can only run so many Festivus Pornographic Stick Figure Captioning Contest contests after all.
Warning -- the entry [!] below was too hot for the main page!
You have been warned!
Besides the fact that Putin basically fucked him in the ass ten times over, George W. Bush was totally right to bend over for him. --David Frum.
[Fixed Kristol link]
Posted by Sadly, No! at December 11, 2003 12:30 PM | TrackBackBesides the fact that Al Gore is an ungracious, unprincipled, unlikeable, insignificant loser, he is such a popular guy that his endorsement of Howard Dean unfairly knocked all the other Democratic candidates out of the race.
--All conservative pundits, everywhere.
Besides the fact that I was a terribly unsuccessful fun manager, I obviously know more about economics than the person I am stalking, Paul Krugman. --Donald Luskin
Posted by: Lizard Queen at December 11, 2003 04:08 PMOops, make that "terribly unsuccessful fund manager"
Posted by: Lizard Queen at December 11, 2003 04:09 PMBesides that fact that Saddam didn't threaten anyone and didn't really have the means to threaten anyone, we had no choice but to attack pre-emptively to remove the threat.
-----Pres. Bush
Posted by: Mark-NC at December 11, 2003 05:04 PMDespite the fact that Hillary Clinton has repeatedly said that she will not enter the 2004 presidential race, Hillary Clinton will enter the 2004 presidential race. -- Rush, NRO, etc.
Posted by: harry at December 11, 2003 06:09 PMGod, this is fabulous (though I must point out that the William Kristol link is the same as the Zoo link). And to add my poor mite to the list:
Although Dean is unlike McGovern in this way and that way in the other way, it's obvious that he's just like McGovern and will lose as big as McGovern did.
Posted by: Sandy Herrold at December 16, 2003 06:49 PM"though I must point out that the William Kristol link is the same as the Zoo link"
Oops -- fixed, thank you.
Posted by: Sadly, No! at December 16, 2003 06:54 PM