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Coming in October From Common Courage Press   Today's Stories Ron Jacobs The Darkening Tunnel   Recent Stories August 21, 2003 Robert Fisk The US Needs to Blame Anyone But Locals for UN Bombing Virginia Tilley The Quisling Policies of the UN in Iraq: Toward a Permanent War? Rep. Henry Waxman Bush Owes the Public Some Serious Answers on Iraq Ben Terrall War Crimes and Punishment in Indonesia: Rapes, Murders and Slaps on the Wrists Elaine Cassel Brother John Ashcroft's Traveling Patriot Salvation Show Christopher Brauchli Getting Gouged by Banks Marjorie Cohn Sergio Vieira de Mello: Victim of Terrorism or US Policy in Iraq? Vicente Navarro Media Double Standards: The Case of Mr. Aznar, Friend of Bush Website of the Day The Intelligence Squad   August 20, 2003 Robert Fisk Now No One Is Safe in Iraq Caoimhe Butterly Life and Death on the Frontlines of Baghdad Kurt Nimmo UN Bombing: Act of Terrorism or Guerrilla War? Michael Egan Revisiting the Paranoid Style in the Dark Ramzi Kysia Peace is not an Abstract Idea Steven Higgs NPR and the NAFTA Highway John L. Hess A Downside Day Edward Said The Imperial Bluster of Tom Delay Jason Leopold Gridlock at Path 15: the California Blackouts were the "Wake Up Call" Website of the Day Ashcroft's Patriotic Hype   August 19, 2003 Jeffrey St. Clair Blackouts Happen Gary Leupp "Our Patch": Australia v. the Evil Doers of the South Pacific Sean Donahue Uribe's Cruel Model: Colombia Moves Toward Totalitarianism Matt Martin Bush's Credibility Problem on Missile Defense Juliana Fredman Recipe for the Destruction of a Hudna John Ross Fox Government's Attack on Mexican Basques Sasan Fayazmanesh What Kermit Roosevelt Didn't Say Website of the Day Tom Delay's Dual Loyalities   August 18, 2003 Uri Avnery Hero in War and Peace Stan Goff The Volunteer Military and the Wicked Adventure Cathy Breen Baghdad on the Hudson Michael Kimaid Fight the Power (Companies)! Jason Leopold The California Rip-Off Revisited: Arnold, Milken and Ken Lay Matt Siegfried The Bush Administration in Context Elaine Cassel At Last, A Judge Who Acts Like a Judge Alexander Cockburn Judy Miller's War Harvey Wasserman The Legacy of Blackout Pete Wilson Website of the Day Fire Griles!   Congratulations to CounterPuncher Gilad Atzmon! BBC Names EXILE Top Jazz CD   August 16 / 17, 2003 Flavia Alaya Bastille New Jersey Jeffrey St. Clair War Pimps Saul Landau The Legacy of Moncada: the Cuban Revolution at 50 Brian Cloughley What Has Happened to the US Army in Iraq? William S. Lind Coffins for the Crews: How Not to Use Light Armored Vehicles Col. Dan Smith Time for Straight Talk Wenonah Hauter Which Electric System Do We Want? David Lindorff Where's Arnold When We Need Him? Harvey Wasserman This Grid Should Not Exist Don Moniak "Unusual Events" at Nuclear Power Plants: a Timeline for August 14, 2003 David Vest Rolling Blackout Revue Merlin Chowkwanyun An Interview with Sherman Austin Adam Engel The Loneliest Number Poets' Basement Guthrie, Hamod & Albert Book of the Weekend Powerplay by Sharon Beder   August 14, 2003 Peter Phillips Inside Bohemian Grove: Where US Power Elites Party Brian Cloughley Charlie Wilson and Pakistan: the Strange Congressman Behind the CIA's Most Expensive War Linville and Ruder Tyson Strike Draws the Line Jim Lobe Bush Administration Divided Over Iran Ramzy Baroud Sharon Freezes the Road Map Tom Turnipseed Blowback in Iraq Gary Leupp Condi's Speech: From Birgmingham to Baghdad, Imperialism's Freedom Ride Website of the Day Tony Benn's Greatest Hits August 13, 2003 Joanne Mariner A Wall of Separation Through the Heart Donald Worster The Heavy Cost of Empire Standard Schaefer Experimental Casinos: DARPA and the War Economy Elaine Cassel Murderous Errors: Executing the Innocent Ralph Nader Make the Recall Count Alexander Cockburn Ted Honderich Hit with "Anti-Semitism" Slur Website of the Day Defending Yourself Against DirectTV Lawsuits: 9000 and Counting   August 12, 2003   Ron Jacobs Revisionist History: the Bush Administration, Civil Rights and Iraq Josh Frank Dean's Constitutional Hang-Up Wayne Madsen What's a Fifth Columnist? Well, Someone Like Hitchens Ray McGovern Relax, It Was All a Pack of Lies Wendy Brinker Hubris in the White House Website of the Day Black Mustache   Hot Stories Dardagan, Slobodo and Williams CounterPunch Exclusive: 20,000 Wounded Iraqi Civilians Steve J.B. Prison Bitch Sheldon Rampton and John Stauber True Lies: the Use of Propaganda in the Iraq War Wendell Berry Small Destructions Add Up CounterPunch Wire WMD: Who Said What When Cindy Corrie A Mother's Day Talk: the Daughter I Can't Hear From William Blum Myth and Denial in the War on Terrorism Standard Schaefer Experimental Casinos: DARPA and the War Economy Uzma Aslam Khan The Unbearably Grim Aftermath of War: What America Says Does Not Go Paul de Rooij Arrogant Propaganda Gore Vidal The Erosion of the American Dream Francis Boyle Impeach Bush: A Draft Resolution Click Here for More Stories.     Subscribe Online Search CounterPunch

August 23, 2003 An American Frog Fable The Amphibian Assault By WALT BRASCH The First United Church of the Knowledge of Universal Truth decided last week not to ordain any frogs. To find out why, I visited the Rev. Matthew Mark Johnson. I approached him as he finished blessing the ceremonial offerings plate. "Rev. Johnson," I asked, "the frogs-rights groups are upset with your Board's decision. What are your reasons?" "The Bible tells us that frogs are nothing but problems." "The Bible tells you that?" I asked suspiciously. "Right there in Exodus. God said he'd smite all of Egypt with frogs if the Pharaoh didn't let the Jews be free. It proves that God was so ticked off he had to find the most loathsome creature he could to punish the Pharaoh. Do you know how bad it must be to be smited by, of all things, frogs?" "But God used the frogs to help the Jews. It's not that the frogs did anything God didn't want to be done." "Bad is bad," said the Rev. Mr. Johnson. "Turn to Revelations," he commanded. "John says that he saw three unclean spirits that looked like frogs come from the mouth of the dragon. That proves it! Not only are frogs loathsome creatures, they're also unclean." I tried to interrupt, but the anti-frog minister wasn't about to let another view meddle in his logic. "Even Shakespeare hated frogs. Right there in Macbeth. The witches brewed the most horrible concoction they could. What do you think was in it?! Eye of newt and toe of frog!" "This is ridiculous," I said. "Are you sure there's nothing deeper to your decision to ban frogs from the ministry?" The Rev. Mr. Johnson cleared his throat, looked at me carefully, then somberly explained: "They're green." "They're green?" I asked incredulously. "That's it? Because they're green!" "Green conflicts with our basic color scheme. It's not as if we're the only religion not to like color. For the longest time, a lot of churches didn't allow anyone who's black to be ordained, let alone be a member, so I guess that green is just as good a reason as any." He thought a moment, then added, "Of course, I guess there might be another reason." "I thought so!" I said, now writing furiously in my note pad. "Frogs also have webbed feet. It's against the laws of God for ordained ministers to have webbed feet." I stopped writing. "Now, let me get this straight. You don't want to ordain frogs because they're green and they have webbed feet?" "That's right. Webbed feet is not God's wish for humanity. Webbed feet is a sign of breaking with God's world of five-toed feet. It's immoral and a sin. A sign of willful rebellion." "Shouldn't the Church recognize that even frogs have faith?" I asked. "The Bible tells us to love all creatures, and that we are all part of the Lord. But, nowhere does it say that frogs should be ordained." "But what about their knowledge of Scripture or whether frogs have the ability to lead people? Shouldn't that count for something?" "You think that frogs can lead people? Have you ever seen a frog walk? There's no one who's going to hop to church on Sunday mornings." "But, most frogs seem to be so much more respectful and honest than many of your own parishioners," I pleaded in the frogs' defense. "I agree," said the minister, "and the ministry should offer models of integrity, morality, and honesty--if at all possible. And, I do admit that some ministers do stray from the paths of righteousness on occasion. But, at least they're not green, they don't have webbed feet, and they never smited anyone!" Forgetting my role as an objective reporter and lapsing into an impassion plea, I cried out, "frogs are wonderful creatures who should be given a chance to preach the will of God!" The Rev. Matthew Mark Johnson looked at me sharply. "You ain't a frog in disguise are you, boy? You ain't trying to take over this here church, are you?" "Oh, no sir!" I said. "I'm just trying to find out why frogs can't be ordained if they have every other ability." "You're trying to cause us serious trouble," said the Rev. Mr. Johnson, "and I don't care to discuss this issue any more. Now, if you'll leave me alone, I have to go watch an important television show. Never miss it. Even better in re-runs than first time I saw it." "What show is that?" "The Muppets." Walt Brasch is professor of journalism at Bloomsburg University, a former newspaper reporter and editor, and author of 12 books. His latest book is Sex and the Single Beer Can; Probing the Media and American Culture. Weekend Edition Features for August 16 / 17, 2003 Flavia Alaya Bastille New Jersey Jeffrey St. Clair War Pimps Saul Landau The Legacy of Moncada: the Cuban Revolution at 50 Brian Cloughley What Has Happened to the US Army in Iraq? William S. Lind Coffins for the Crews: How Not to Use Light Armored Vehicles Col. Dan Smith Time for Straight Talk Wenonah Hauter Which Electric System Do We Want? David Lindorff Where's Arnold When We Need Him? Harvey Wasserman This Grid Should Not Exist Don Moniak "Unusual Events" at Nuclear Power Plants: a Timeline for August 14, 2003 David Vest Rolling Blackout Revue Merlin Chowkwanyun An Interview with Sherman Austin Adam Engel The Loneliest Number Poets' Basement Guthrie, Hamod & Albert Book of the Weekend Powerplay by Sharon Beder     Keep CounterPunch Alive: Make a Tax-Deductible Donation Today Online! home / subscribe / about us / books / archives / search / links /