NO DELIVERY
God dammit.
you know, 80% of the time, this whole pump thing is great. But when it doesn't work, wow, it fucks up all the way, you know?
demerol and verced worked great for the procedure, but i wish it, or whatever else, would work its way out of me, so i could maybe sit up without thinking it just might kill me.
i'm not really convinced that sleep does anything anymore.
Regardless, my mood is good. I hold out hope that our state return will deposit this week. Doubtful, but it beats expecting the worst, right?
Right. Off to bed for 45 seconds or so.
Taxes finished. Decent amount, although slightly less than expected, as i forgot to count the advance child credit. Oh well. I really can't complain.
i still kind of feel like shit, though.
so, it's all done.
No pain, aside from the IV. no problems, aside from in recovery where i couldn't keep juice down and my blood pressure dropped to 78/43. Just goes to show, with enough drugs, anything is possible.
I guess i -was- technically awake for it, but i don't remember a moment past when the dr came in.
At least it's over. Christ, am i tired.
jen went to this party thing with her mom today, which is probably for the best, for i am not be brightest company.
My "test" is tomorrow, i haven't eaten a thing since last night, i can't touch anything but clear liquids til tomorrow, and now i get to start the "prep", which consists of phosphosoda and copious amounts of water.
everywhere i look i see food. I swear, when i get home tomorrow, for breakfast, i'm having everything.
my stomach hurts.
see, i told you she cut her hair. I wasn't sure i'd like it, but it came out really good. It's weird. The time i've known her, jen's -never- had short hair, collar length at the absolute minimim. this is quite a jump.
Also, on the second picture. i saw on jen's comments that people think colleen looks like her, and others said me. I'm terrible w/ faces, so i really don't see either. opinions?
( ok, let's get what's bad out of the way. )
Ok, now please understand. I didn't really have a bad day. It went reasonably fast, i was productive. But damn, it has been one long f'ing week, and everything seems to be, i don't know....Turning up..weeds.
I'm scheduled for a colonoscopy bright and early monday morning. I will feel better by a huge measure once this is over. Until it is, though, i'm stuck mostly to worrying and having this cloud of anticipation/dread over me.
Often, i really feel like the world's oldest 26 year old.
additional notes for the evening.
1) Jen's mp3 player kit for her palm came in today, a free bonus by mail when i got it for her for xmas. pretty quick, for a mail promo. It's pretty smooth. included the software (realone for palm), a 64mb sd card, a usb reader, and and a port extension cable. not bad, really. simple set up, and pretty cool overall.
2) She (yes, jen) totally chopped her hair. it was maybe a but past her shoulderblades, and it's now maybe 4" at its longest in the front, maybe 1-1.5" in the back. It's quite a drastic difference, but it looks really good. She's coloring it now, i think. Tomorrow night, i will take a picture.
3) I really want a notebook system. Have i mentioned that? Really. Want. We don't have room for a second full pc, but if we did a notebook and a wireless network connection, that would certainly work. with tax time coming, i've been looking at prices, and have seen some pretty decent spec (2400, 512 ram, 30gb, combo drive, 15") for right around 800. I wonder what the necessary hardware to get it online would run.
4) i really like this song. The video is even better.
Man, am i glad tomorrow is friday. Maybe i'll be able to get out by 5.
when upgrading the pc, should i get a new case at the same time?
"...Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling. "
What else can be said about this...(somewhat) sentient being. I'm not a big fan of kerry, i can't really stand lieberman, but jesus. Vote in Beyonce, if she'll win. -anything- is an upgrade at this point.
BDAAH.
Damn it all to hell, today was supposed to be MELLOW. regular scheduled duties and workflow. leave at -5-. normal day. Well, except for working through 1/2 my lunch hour.
( work-related venting. )
So yeah, of -course- i worked late.
i need to sleep more. Only 10 hours a night. And maybe 8 during the day.
I started nickel and dimed today. I love it already. I can't wait til she tries maine.
You know what i am?
Yeah. Tired.
oh..We found the remote! Guess where it was....Walmart!
Yeah, i caved. i went looking for a universal as a replacement, and was lucky enough to find a sanyo, the same brand as our tv. Perfect. pop 2 batteries in, hit 2 buttons, and it does everything i need. I suppose i can also get it to run the dvd and vcr..we'll see.
Also got a copy of Nickel and dimed, as suggested by vix. Looks totally fascinating.
I need to budget at some point, maybe tax time, to go in and get a bunch of books. There's so much i want to read.
maybe i'll watch a dvd tonight. You know, now that i can.
rejoice, for i'm done my spreadsheet. I, as well as anyone in the future, will now have a complete and easy to read reference when indexing tax documents.
Ok, so no one cares. Still, humor me. I know little to nothing about excel, this will make MY job easier, and it was an objective i was ideally to have finished by 3 months from now, so my boss will be nice and happy.
To celebrate..*long drum roll*...i'm going to bed early.
More overtime this week. Not bad, really, since this extra work is stuff i do anyway. The extra money will be nice at the middle of the month, as i think that will be the magic date, when we finally upgrade this system. we have a 733 w/ 512 mb of pc133 ram now, 32 mb video card, and i'm looking at probably going up to an xp2800, 768 of pc2700 ram, and a 128mb card.
This, of course, is a lot easier an idea to sell to jen now that she's seen Sims 2 and wants to ensure she'll be able to play.
They took a bunch of measurements at work today..Our long-promised new cubicles?...soon?
i'm not holding my breath.
Thoughts on pump infusion site changes:
1) don't you all just hate it when you've drawn back exactly the 1.6 you need, you remove the reservoir cap, and THEN you see this hugeass bubble? Yeah, man. Me too.
2) do you realize how much you need to either psych yourself up, or how much you need to block out, to launch a spring loaded needle into one's abdomen? From experience, though, i find it much better to do it. WhatEVER you do, don't think about it.
3) if i ever become a superhero, the sil serter will totally be my secret weapon.
Bedtime. Now that i'm good for 3 more days.
So, jen went out. To some party, gathering...chick thing, with her friends. I went to the store, bought milk and soda, and now i'm home.
It's cold out, and it sucks, but i'm inside now, it's nice and warm, colleen is napping peacefully, and i have snacks. So all in all, i'm a pretty content guy at the moment.
A side note, to people remaining unnamed, who don't read this anyway; Don't think you're the only one who suffers, just because you're the only one who talks so much about it. I hurt too, but the difference is, i don't automatically assume everyone else needs to hear about it. Remember, there's a reason they're called your problems.
Really, i'm not insensitive. Just..tired, i suppose. Luckily for me, then, the house is silent, and i can nap too!
Life, at the moment, is good.
nothing brings out the worst in me like good luck, you know.
I feel like the guy in that fedex commercial i saw..."..if something is wrong, i know what to do, i fix it....but if everything is ok...i can't do anything but stand around and wait for something to go wrong.." I mean, yes, obviously i appreciate and enjoy that things are, for the greater part, good for us right now. Stable, i suppose, is the word. But I guess I'm not used to it. I feel like i'm always waiting for the other, uh, bomb to drop.
But no. Relax, enjoy that you can pay the rent, that we're all happy, that i've got my schedule, my work, my system, and it, for once, is working.
I must be tired. Too damn introspective.
For those of you out there who were at the wedding, an interesting anecdote: Michael, the dj, who did a surprisingly good job, just scored a 1/2 million bucks for being molested as a kid by the local priest. Same church as the wedding was in, in fact. I guess that explains his passing on coming to the ceremony.
I kind of want to kick myself re: the phone i got. I wasn't aware when i got it what we'd be getting in taxes, and had i been, and had i known they had this cool LG camera phone in the counter case, i'dve probably waited. Still tempting, though. Damn, would that be cool.
The remote for our tv has vaporized. I mean, i've lost stuff before, but this is beyond, by far. it's just...Gone. I actually lifted the monolith/couch to check under there tonight..for nothing. What makes this all the more annoying is the fact that i only need said remote to hit One. Goddamn. Button. Just need to switch the tv to/from av input to watch a dvd. Dumb. We're hoping a universal will fix it.
This is not terribly interesting, i know. I don't know what to say, really. While life is nice and even right now, it's also not a terribly exciting story.
Well, i'm thinking of a lot of you. Even if i don't say anything.
so i finally got the tax forms. I pulled together a ballpark figure for our taxes, not including jen's w2 from bath & body, which shouldn't throw anything off too significantly. Looks to be approximately 3500-4000. Course, i may end up being off by leaps & bounds, but that's really pretty much the general figure i'd estimated before i started.
Once i get that elusive last W2, i can pull all the numbers together, efile, and get the ball rolling. I hate waiting. Course, it'll be even worse once it's filed and all i can do is wait for it to hit the bank.
I like tax time.
good day.
worked 1/2 hour OT reissuing 1099's. had a friggin' stellar review. Got our W2's.
tomorrow, best of all, i sleep inn.
Yup.
don't you just hate that. You're exhausted, and yet just cannot get yourself to just lay down and sleep.
maybe it's me. I don't know.
I feel...I don't know. Breakable.
Today was...i don't know. not bad, really, but..bad is all i can think of. my day generally consists of scanning paper, staring at a screen, and batching work to be done. Today, i spent 5 hours chasing down work done 2 weeks ago and emptying/sorting/refilling boxes upon boxes of paper. I was frustrated, i was tired, i was dizzy and sweaty....?
Hey, look at that! My blood sugar's 44! Yeah, that'll take a lot out of you right there.
Basically, i was on my feet and working from 830 to 2. either i've gotten lazy, or i'm just not who i used to be, cause it just about killed me. I want to show that i can get things done, that i will take initiative and DO things, and i did, but it ran me down to the point that all i could do was sit at my desk, drink tons of water and try not to fall over.
I had originally planned on working OT, just til 530. That didn't turn out. I did end up working 1/2 my lunch, but i'm not claiming that. It just sort of..turned out that way.
I'm lucky, i suppose, to have the job i do. I don't know what i'd do if my livelihood depended on me going out and bussing tables or unloading pallets now.
Damn coddled twitboy beaurucrats.
I'm almost done with stupid white men. I need to find another good book to read. I'm thinking non fiction, but i'm open.
So, suggest something, if you would, that you think i'd like. Or that YOU like. as for what i usually read, mostly nonfiction. what they broadly classify as "current events" at barnes & noble, along w/ the occasional novel. fiction favorites would be irvine welsh, steinbeck, douglas coupland, and, more recently, neal stephenson, although i've never really been into sci fi.
Any ideas?
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