Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Cait's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Saturday, February 9th, 2002
6:28 pm	end of this my new name is newcoatofpaint put me on your friends list i cut mine down hardcore it now consists only of people who actually update let's put a new coat of paint on this lonesome old town (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 7th, 2002
7:01 pm	oh eddie my eddie vedder is a slut! everyone will want to kiss him, right mike? (Comment on this)
Monday, February 4th, 2002
6:24 pm	youre a new and better man You: What does your name mean?: pure; innocent How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?): mmm i dont know. usually im fairly mature, but its nice to be silly as well Describe yourself in 5 words: hardcore, confused, poetic, spiritual, im torn on the last one What are your worst qualities: i probably get annoying, i feel lonely often, im hard to "get" What are your best qualities:im spontaneous and am fun usually, i like to have long talks, i seem intellegent How long does it take you get get ready in the morning: mmm 40 min.? an hour? Sleep: Do you dream at night?: i go to sleep to dream Do you remember your dreams?: sometimes Describe one: last night i was in a bath full of jello. i couldnt really move, but it was pleasent. then strawberry shortcake (the cartoon character) was there. it was weird What time do you wake up on weekends?: mmm 11ish Do you sleep with one pillow or two?:one usually, but if i fall asleep reading, 2 School: Do you like school? oh fer sher......eh no Why/why not?: beacuse i dont learn things, and its childish and silly What's your fave subject?: currently history and photo Most hated subject?: math and bio Do you have a fave teacher?: mr sheehan is nice. Mr. Garabedian's alright too. Ever had a crush on a teacher?:haha ohhhh mr. larocca, i was the only one who didnt Friends: Do you have heaps of friends?: mmm sometimes i think so Do you have a best friend?:a few. Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?: these days its about even....thats a first Do you ever get annoyed at any friend?: but of course Have you ever lied to a friend?: mmm not really, but probably Have you ever stolen a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend?: no Family: Do you like your parents?: on occasion Ever run away from home?: in 4th grade--i took an apple and a pair of pants Ever thought about it?: yes Do you have any siblings?:Aaron Do you feel your parents spoil you?: nope Do you not get along with any of your family?:mm grandma J...my dad sometimes...Aaron usually...my mom sometimes, m papa sometimes Do you have big family get togethers ever?:on my biological fathers side. theyre fun Relationships: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nay, nay, nay i say! If so, are you in love with them?:nay, nay, nay i say! Do they love you?:nay, nay, nay i say! How long have you been together?: jesus fucking christ! NAY! Ever done something stupid to impress them?: AAAAAH! Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: dont beleive in it Do you find it romantic or hurtful?:mm love ought to be romantic Sex: Ever had sex?: nope Do you believe that a person shouldn't have sex before marriage?:nope Believe in casual sex?: mmmhmmm what else is college for? When do you plan to/when did you lose your virginity?:mm i always said 17, but whenever. im not a virgin on purpose Did you regret it?: - Morals:i have no morals! morals are for fools! Have you ever been drunk?:ah yes. Taken drugs?: only weed. if you consider that a drug. then yes. its lovely. Stolen?: only once or twice Shoplifted?: se above? Tried to commit suicide?: not really, no Lied to a boyfriend or girlfriend?: yes Gotten into a fight?: not physical Are you more innocent or guilty?: um. Have you ever had to look after someone who was a drug addict?: mmhmm. ohhh Phil. Are you racist?: what i am learning is that no matter how anti-racist we are, we all have a bit of racism inside us, so im working to get that all out, and become completely non-racist Are you discriminatory to anyone?: unfortunately i probably am. although im also trying to get that out. Do you have an open or closed mind to other people's beliefs and feelings?:usually open. although i am close minded toward people who are close minded. makes it difficult to communicate...need to work on that too Music: What's your fave style of music?:almost all of it Do you play an instrument?: piano....trombone.... Do you sing?: not well, but i love to sing, so i do it anyways., What's your fave band?: so many- the beatles, pink floyd, the dead, the velvet underground, the clash, radiohead, the doors..and those are just the bands Why?: because the music makes me feel Have you met them before?: most of them are broken up/dead Name 3 CDs that you just bought: mmm Nico-the classic years, Beth Orton-Trailer Park, 80s new wave dance party Why did you buy them?:because i like them?? Are you funny or serious?: um both...when appropriate....or inappropriate.... Creative or not?: creative Are you outgoing or shy?: both Are you lazy or active?: both Have you ever been hyperactive?:aye Are you a naturally hyperactive person?: mmm not really Looks: Are you happy with the way you look?: not really What would you change?: lots of things. my face, my height, but i cant change those things. so oh well. Embarassing moments: Your all time most embarassing moment?: lots and lots Ever snorted a drink out your nose?: nope Ever giggled like an idiot?:oh you bet...saturday night....and thursday "the intrepid traveler could do it in 30 min." Ever embarassed yourself and pretended nothing happened?: probably Ever tripped in front of someone you liked?:I trip very often Ever said something really stupid?: oh you bet. Ever snorted while laughing?: indeed Ever fallen off a bed?:mmhmm Ever sleepwalked?:many a time Ever sleeptalked?: many a time oh my oh my oh my (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
9:32 pm	i need to laugh, and when the sun is out, ive got something i can laugh about How excited am i? How excited could i possibly be? thats how excited i am. i am probably going to Transylvania and Hungray with 20 other UU youth in August for two weeks how excited would you be? This is the kind of trip that changes live i think. i really really hope that i can go i want august to hurry its ass up. Current Mood: excited Current Music: The Beatles- and your bird can sing (Comment on this)
4:07 pm	ill take a peace with some justice on the side...thanks yesterday was a hell day until 11:30. when we went to Rocky. then i went to cass's and got very stoned. it was very pleasent. then at around 4:30 i went to bed. My brother has staples in his head. i got new shoes and tomorrow im getting new jeans.....objects..... i left my book at school for the weekend (cause im fucking stupid) so i havent read all weekend. it makes me feel sluggish. time to go clean my room. all you non-couple-members are invited to tea and movies at my casa on valentines day. it wont be super-duper fun, but we wont be home alone, feeling sorry for ourselves! -cait (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
10:35 am	and youre bird can sing Which British Band Are You? last night taryn and i went to chinatown and the north end. it was so fun with a minor scary interruption and a major scary interruption. we ate great food and had great talks, and then as we're going home at around 11:30 this very scary crazy/drunk man cam e up to us in the train station and wouldnt let go of our hands, and was ( i think) asking us to smoke with him. it was very scary. So we said we had to go upstairs,but he followed us, so we ended up running as fast as we could out of the community college T stop and getting completely lost looking for another one. but it was alright. we were still very shaken up until we got to harvard when the men dancing to thriller made our night. Im babysitting ALL day long today (from now til nine) so if anyone would like to come visit, give me a call. please. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 31st, 2002
6:32 pm	summary of a nation my dad fucking sucks. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
7:34 pm	i wont try to figure it out i will not: i will not dissect my thoughts i will not have hope i will not over react i will not pretend to be what im not i will not calculate how many hours of sleep ill get i will not sacrifice good reading for school reading i will not sacrifice friends for friends i will not hang out with phil too much i will not pretend i will not argue with my father so much i will not argue with my mother so much i will not cry i will not get drunk two nights in a row TO BE ALONE by Jim Morrison to be alone and watch the dawn it could create a silly song about a girl i used to know she was the star of the lost side show she wasnt me she wasnt you beleive you me knew what to do and say to a man on the end of his tether "hey fine hadsome man therell be a change in the weather" so what am i supposed to do just sit alone and chew my shoe i need a love no more than she and yet no less and no regrets if you can fill me in on my telephone id be a sadder wiser son of a gun ill just this about all that i was the mouse who caught the cat i dont intend to you no points of view i just mean to tell you- im alone (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 28th, 2002
7:50 pm	community that we created go here if you know me...or dont know me! its fun! c'mon! http://friendtest.com/viewquiz.php?account=iamcaitsutterboredom (Comment on this)
4:19 pm	think about it...... you could imagine up a great life you could dream your own impossible world filled with impossiblities itd be REAL all that would be missing is a sense of accoplishment but i dont need that anyways. so hand me that twenty dollars for free (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 27th, 2002
9:45 pm	we only hurt the ones we love when i remember what to say when i remember what to say you will know me again and youll forget to answer when i remember what to say when i remember what to say you will know me again and youll forget to answer you seem not to be listening you seem not to be listening the high tide is taking everything and you forget to answer when i remember what to say when i remember what to say youwill know me again and youll forget to answer. -Nico ***************************************** fallin from the western slopes to find yourself alone again wonderin where you have been your lonely for us calls across the starlit coast reaching out to be seen she cries your name three times again she cries your name how long can this love remain? cut beneath the surface green of what we say and what we mean is there truth to be seen? she keeps crying out your name but her scream sounds the same how fickle fate can be she cries your name three times again she cries your name how long can this love remain? birds who scream for turretry can learn to sing euphorically give it time it is real and theres a wasteland in your soul the burned down trees will leave you cold living out an ideal she cries your name three times again she cries your name how long can this love remain? she cries your name twelve times again she cries your name how long can this love remain? -Beth Orton ************************************ she wears secrets in her hair her whispers are not hers to share shes deep as a well shes deep as a well another day wastes away and my heart sinks with the sun a new day is dawning a new day is not yet to come so anyway there are ones just sitting on your porch drinking in the sweetest decline the sweetest decline so on my mind whats the use in regrets theyre just things we havent done yet what are regrets? Theyre just lessons we havent learned yet another day draws away and my heart sinks with the sun its like catching snow on my tongue its like catching snow on my tongue so anyway there are ones just sitting on your porch drinking in the sweetest decline the sweetest decline so how about mine? What are regrets? What are regrets? just lessons we havent learned yet like catching snow on your tongue cant pin this butterfly down cant pin this butterfly down -Beth Orton ************************************* Ooh ya you know you couldnt cause me any harm oh no at times i may get startled im not alone i can see your eyes and they are telling me a truth i can feel your heart especially when its on the roof of my mouth theres no right or wrong this isnt a test and i wont lose my experience i wont try to put it aside but its alright you know that its alright its alright you know that its alright its gonna be alright and if i told you would you never know to guess so whats the point when little often means so much less i can see for miles and you are telling me a truth i can fel my heart specially now its on the roof of my mouth theres no right or wrong this isnt a gesture and i dont use my experience i dont try to let it go by but its alright you know that its alright its alright its gonna be alright -Beth Orton **************************************************************** music and books. thats what its all about. communication. music. books. i could live like that. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 24th, 2002
1:26 pm	life looks different, but it doesnt change. Five LAST movies you saw at the theater - Lord of the rings - harry potter - Amelie - Rocky Horror picture show - The Royal Tenebaums Five LAST books you read - The teachings of don juan (current) - Slaughterhouse-5 (for the 5th time) - Maus - Slut! -Embodiment Five LAST concerts you went to - Travis - Radiohead - Le Tigre - My electric - The Dishes Five LAST movies you rented - Moulin Rouge - But Im a Cheerleader - Chocolat - Monty Pythons meaning of life - Like water for chocolate Five BEST movies - Requiem for a dream - Sophies Choice - The Virgin Suicides - Breakfast at Tiffanys - The Wall Five BEST RECENT CDs of the moment - Radiohead- amnesiac - Travis- The invisible band - the virgin suicides score - pete yorn-musicforthemorningafter - Beth orton-Trailer Park Five BEST ALL-TIME CD's -Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the moon -The Who-Quadrophenia -The Doors- The Doors -Radiohead-OK Computer -The Beatles-all of them...sorry Five BEST T.V. Shows - crocodile hunter - daria - The Simpsons - Family Guy - Spongebob Five BEST things in life - being with close friends - listening tomusic - chinatown - knowing that im going to new york with mike in April - writing Five WORST things in life - loneliness - bad performers - dishonesty - hate - war Five MOST RECENT triumphs - finding my old Micheal jackson tapes (yes, it was that good) - getting over my illness - feeling good about midterms - deciding to be a pixie - deciding to have fun and only fun this weekend. Five FAVORITE movie characters - Edward (Edward Scissorhands) - Frank-n-furter (Rocky Horror) - marian [requiem for a dream] - Doc Holliday (Tombstone) - valerie solanas [i shot andy warhol] Five FAVORITE T.V. characters - Lisa (the Simpsons) - steve irwin [crocodile hunter] - trent lane [daria] - jane lane [daria] - daria [daria] Five BEST soundtracks - requiem for a dream - virgin suicides - romeo + juliet - Carlitos Way - Help! Five BIGGEST fears - loneliness - emptiness - bees - being alone - wasps FIVE great women with great voices - ani difranco - joni mitchell - janis joplin - pj Harvey - Annie lennox Five things you consider MOST personal to you - music - writing - thoughts - feelings - poetry Five LAST movies you saw - Crybaby - But Im a Cheerleader - Tombstone - Rocky Horror Picture Show - Harry potter Five LAST songs you listened to - Gang of Four- At home hes a tourist - Gang of four-naturals not in it - Gang of Four-to hell with poverty! - Gang of Four-I love a man in a uniform - Gang of Four- Capital (it fails us now) FIVE music ppl/groups/performers you hate - britney spears - christina aguilera - backstreet boys - nsync - LFO She has rage, shes ok. Shes nothing that evil is, shes nothing that is good, she is not what brings us up, she will not be our downfall. She is a girl. She is woman. She has rage. its ok if she decides not to. Its ok if she does. She's ok. She has things. She has nothing. She has rage. Shes ok. Its alright if she shaves her legs, and she doesnt have to. She has rage. Shes ok. She doesnt mean anything to you. She isnt "into" the world. She cant get out of the world. She cant remember how good feels. She cant recall just what bad is. She is me. for me, she is it. she is me. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Gang of four-is it love (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002
6:19 pm	i cant find any way to feel myself ive got so far behind me. (Comment on this)
1:09 pm	we'd zigzag our ways through the boredom and pain "you are right john- quazimodo was right-mozart was right....I cannot say the word eye anymore...when i speak this word eye, it is as if i am speaking of somebodys eye that i faintly remember...there is no eye-there is only a series of mouths- long live mouths-your rooftop- if you dont already know-has been demolished....eye is plasma and you are right about that too-you are lucky-you dont have to think about such things as eyes and rooftops and quazimodo. -Bob dylan Ithinkimallbetterandillbeatschooltmorrow Current Mood: thirsty Current Music: Pink Floyd- dogs (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002
9:24 pm	get you back -spent all day throwing up -drinking watered down gatorade -so so gross (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, January 20th, 2002
3:17 am	you need action... oh tim curry...how ive missed you since i saw you last....4 virgins and me....insanity defined....so much ludeness, so much nudeness, so much silliness. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 17th, 2002
10:48 pm	G is pronounced differently in the word chocolate "Can I eat your face?" "I wouldnt suggest it" i saw a big green monster with red horns, and a man play church and steeple i saw the little mermaid All of these are scary high fever hallucinations, i feel like death. i am not a happy girl. illness sucks....i took meds and i feel a bit better....but mummy doesnt want me at school tomorrow, which is also not good, because of midterms... the only lyric that is coming to mind: I cant rest in war will you be my friend dark ages never change i cant comprehend kiss me we self destruct can you hear me lord yes i think were fucked but i cant rest in war the righteous and the wicked war and peace the killing fist of the human beast P.O.P prodigies of peace hear me when im calling you from my knees i am playing for a better day holy mother earth crying into space tears on her pretty face for she has been raped killing your future blood fill her with disease global abortion please Are we fireflies flashing in the night big thunder rumble fish did you get it right? headstrong battlesong exploding soulds begone marvin gave me love where did we go wrong? Current Mood: sick Current Music: Red hot chili peppers (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 15th, 2002
9:47 pm	and all the children are insane 1) My mom. My mom has been so emotional lately. Her mom treated her too much like a friend when she was younger, and so now my mother has gone too far the other way, making any contact out of the mother-daughter sphere absolutely impossible. Hence, i can not communicate with her. 2) My dad. He expects so much of me, and imposes ridiculous rules that dont make any difference. At the same time that he is a cool and wonderful person, it really upsets me that i cant talk to him without expectation of criticism. 3) My bilogical father. Im still very much stressing out about him, and am stuck wondering why it means so much to me that i have some kind of contact with him. 4)School. I hate highschool, i dislike almost all of my classes, and really feel that there is almost no purpose to anything that i do inside of that building. i dont learn, and it takes immense amounts of time away from the learning that i could be doing from books and from other people, and the world itself. 5)My friends. dont take this the wrong way, i love my friends more than anyone else in the world, however, i seem to be having inferiority problems lately. i have dreams where i am my age, but all of my friends are other varying ages, in ways that make perfect sense, and all i want to do is grow up, and as hard as i try all that i can do is keep getting smaller and stupider. 6) my lovelife. doesnt matter so much, but it would be very comforting to have someone. 7) myself. im never good enough for myself or for anyone else, i can never meet my own expectations of the kind of person i should be. i want to be enamored by life, but i find myself writing things like this, about things that are troubling me. lyric of the day: come on, baby, take a chance with us fuck, fuck kill, kill, kill this is the end, beautiful friend this is the end, my only friend the end Ching for New York over april vacation!.... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 11th, 2002
7:56 pm	i always knew it! You will marry LEGOLAS from Lord of the Rings, live in an ancient elven palace in the middle of the forest, and spend your days walking on top of snow and rowing ivory boats and just being beautiful. What's YOUR M * A * S * H future? OH! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 10th, 2002
5:08 pm	the prophethood of all beleivers when does bad reaoning become good? when do conservative views suddenly become liberal? when did you decide to be such a fucking hypocrite? The only thing that i really want is one the things i cant have now thanks to you and your dissection of emotions. I want to run away to somewhere else. i cant deal with this house anymore. someone is always crying. lyric of the day: its a god awful small affair/ to the girl with the mousy hair/ but her mother is yelling no/ and her father has told her to go/ but her friend is nowhere to be seen/ as she walks through her sunken dream/ to the seat with the clearest view/ and shes hooked to the silver screen./ but the film is a saddening bore/ for shes lived it ten times or more/ (4 Comments |Comment on this)