I stepped out of my back door this morning to go to work, and came face-to-face with a ram. *blink* I stood for a while transfixed, wondering if I was hallucinating, but after a few minutes of watching it chomp away at my grass and plants I realised that this bloody great ball of wool on legs with curly horns was in fact real. I considered taking a picture of it, just to prove to myself (let alone everyone else) what I was looking at, but knowing my luck the flash would go off by accident, freak the thing out and really piss it off or something. Hmm. What the hell do you do when you have a ram chomping its way around your garden? I came back inside and rang Mark, who gave me some handy hints on what to do if the thing decided to charge at me. Do rams charge? I thanked him for his invaluable advice and decided to swallow my fear, pretend I'd not seen it and hope for the best. I went back outside and rather conveniently the creature had disappeared from view, which kinda helped a bit in the 'pretending it didn't exist' thing, and toddled off to work.

So, the weekend then. I was going to write up a long ol' spiel about it, but I'm just too knackered. Twas a good time, though - lots of laughs, lots of food, lots of drink and a fantastic Rugby World Cup Final on Saturday morning. I'm just looking forward to the next one, now.

Right, off to bed for me. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open.

Current Mood: tired

well we're here with a nice pub lunch and a pint of beer under our belts..sat around the open fire which we had to light with toilet paper :)

Yesterday was a bit mad here at work - I'm hoping that today is going to be a bit calmer. What will I talk about when I don't have work to chunter on about?

Last night saw me at the pub with the Julies and Jane, as we sorted out details for this weekend's, "Four Go Mad in Shepton Beauchamp."

:: Destructions on how to get there (kinda useful, really) - check!
:: Alcoholic beverages (bring what you're likely to drink yourself, and some) - check!
:: Music (a rather large selection of CD's, of which probably only a handful will get played) - check!
:: Video entertainment (courtesy of one of the cab drivers *cough*) - check!
:: Digital camera - Possibly!
:: Food (I'm on snacks and sundries detail this time) - check!
:: Cards & games - check!

The plan is for Julie H to be at mine at about 10am on Friday morning, when we'll load up the car and go pick up Julie L before heading west. After a pub lunch somewhere, we'll head over to the cottage and the weekend will semi-begin. I say semi-begin, because Jane unfortunately has to work on Friday, so won't be joining us until later that night. I'm really looking forward to this. I'm getting excited already!

Right, back to the now, for now.

Current Mood: excited

Why is George Bush coming to town, when as far as I can see, the only person who wants him over here is Tony Blair? Pick up any newspaper, or tune into any news channel, and all you'll get are reports on how we, the people of the UK, don't want him anywhere near us. Is it yet another display of pure arrogance on the parts of both George and Tone, and yet further proof, should any be needed, that they're completely out of touch with the electorate^[1]?

And this one for Americans.

All over the news in the UK, are reports about the protests that will be taking place during Dubya's visit. Are you getting news of these through your own media, or are you being told only good positive things about his forthcoming visit? Are you aware of how much outrage this little visit of his is causing over here?

And for both.

Just how much is this visit costing us, the tax-payers? As far as the UK is concerned, the figure being bandied about it £5,000,000, but I'd bet my left boob that it's way more than that. I wonder how the starving and homeless people in both our countries feel about this.

Ya know. Just interested.



^[1] Clearly I use the term very loosely with regard to George, seeing as how whether or not you were legally entitled to vote, or how those of you who were permitted, actually used that vote, had no bearing on the fact that he's now your 'president'.

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: The Siiimpsons

Why do adults make "coochie coochie coo" noises and the like at babies and young children? Why don't they just use normal words that the child may, at some point, have a cat in hell's chance of understanding? Maybe I'm lacking in something, or perhaps that part of my brain hasn't been kick-started.

Or maybe I just don't get some aspects of human behaviour, cuz the whole baby talk thing isn't the only thing I don't get. I understand a lot, and I see things that others don't at first glance, but some things just go flying over my head leaving my face all scrunched up.

I should probably put the keyboard out of reach for a day or so.

Current Mood: Hanging on by a thread
Current Music: Gary Jules - Mad World

"Something else I can't remember - clearly brilliant" = How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - clearly crap, more like. But with a title like that, what did I expect?

Current Music: Dido - White Flag

Friday evening - slept.
Friday night - read, tossed & turned.
Saturday morning - faffed about.
Saturday afternoon - slept.
Saturday evening - watched telly.
Saturday night - read, tossed & turned.
Sunday morning - watched the rugby.
Sunday afternoon/evening - watched a selection of films: The Santa Clause 2 - not as good as I thought it could have been; Something else I can't remember - clearly brilliant; Donnie Darko - not really quite sure - good, I think, but still trying to get my head around it; Ocean's Eleven - pure class as always; Pulp Fiction - a classic to be watched again and again.
Sunday night - read, tossed, turned, and had the most bizarre dream, which kept repeating itself throughout the night.

I was having parking trouble on my daily visit to IBM, Havant, so I had to park the other side of the A27 from where IBM were, and walk across this rickety old bridge which had slats of wood missing on the footpath across the road, and rungs of metal missing from the climbing frame type ladder thing to get down the other side. (For someone who doesn't like heights and freezes with fear by the time she gets to the second rung of a ladder, this was not fun.) And then, each day when I got home from work, I'd find George Dubya Bush in bed with arsehole #1 and they'd be demanding me to cook them up a full English breakfast. And then the dream would start all over again, but it was like the next day each time, because I knew what to expect. Eventually, I was given permission to park in the official IBM car park, which meant no rickety bridge to climb and cross. I got home that night and there was no sign of Dubya or the arsehole.

It irritates me that I look at the calendar, see that it's November 17th, and still automatically think, "it's arsehole #1's birthday today." I have a memory like a leaky sieve at the best of times; I even have to think twice about birthdays of those who are close to me, but for some reason that bastard's birthday is ingrained in my memory like a brand or something.

Today is day 5 of having a voice/throat that sounds and feels like my Listerine has been laced with razor blades. S'pissing me off to be honest. If I'm gonna get something, then let me get it and move on. Quit fannying around with me on the verge of getting sick. I don't have time for it at the moment.

Girlie weekend away is coming up, so a 4-day week for me. I'm really looking forward to that, on both counts.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Meeeeeeeerry Christmas."

*hiss*

Current Mood: cranky

And why, over the last few days, am I suddenly being inundated with penis enlargement spam? I've gone from being a practically spam-frei zone to getting at least two dozen of these damn things a day - all promising to increase the size of my penis.

It's pissing me off.

Current Mood: irritated

I heard a bit of Jeremy Vine's show at lunchtime, and they were discussing the impending visit of George Bush here next week. Apparently, George wants an exclusion zone around himself when he's out and about, because he's worried about the TV pictures that'll be beamed back to the US. Why is he worried? Because he doesn't want the American people to see what people around the world really think of their illustrious leader and his fake war on imagined terror. He thinks it'll demoralise them to see their wonderful 'president' being booed and jeered, so he wants the streets of London emptied before he arrives.

Righteo then George, we'll just evacuate the entire capital for you, then, shall we, you spineless prick?

Apparently he doesn't want the wonderful 'folk' in America to see the real deal. You see in his own back yard, he can, to a point, censor what information the American people are fed, and therefore control how they perceive the world around them. But once he's set foot out into the real world, he knows damn well how we all see what's going on, and there's no telling what might happen.

Now see if I were an American, I'd be pretty damn pissed off at that. To know that my 'president' was openly trying to create his own stage play around himself, without me knowing, so that he could manipulate the information being fed back to me, to fool me into thinking that all the bullshit I was being given at home were true.

As a Brit, I can't believe the gall of the bloke. I don't mean the whole stage-playing thing - that surprises me not at all. As far as I'm concerned, he can play silly bastards in his own country, if he likes, but to come over here and expect us to all join in with his little fantasy world? I think he's got a damn nerve.

And you know what? This whole thing just about sums up what he thinks of the American people, doesn't it? He thinks he can swan through life changing the scenery to suit his own spoiled little rich-boy agenda and have everybody fall for it. I really can't believe he's been allowed to get away with it for so long. What is up with you people? Can't you see you're all bit-players in some elaborate Bush version of Die-nasty? Do something, for God's sake!

Edit: Red Ken flips Bush the bird.

But Mr Livingstone dismissed any notion that wide swathes of central London would be closed.

"The ideas of some American security advisers that perhaps we should shut the whole of central London for three days, ignoring the economic consequences of that, I don't think that's got a chance at all."

On the news on the way home, it was reported that Ken Livingstone, the Mayor of London, has said no to Bush's requests to shut down London. Thank God.

And from BBC Talking Point:

"The damage that Bush and Blair have done is unforgivable. It seems the only reason why he is coming to the UK is as an ego massage for himself and an attempt to show the American people that he is a 'popular' president. Personally I hope there are massive demonstrations and his visit ends in farce."
Nev, UK

"How depressingly ironic. The self-proclaimed champion of world freedom comes to the capital city of his "greatest allies" and closes off the centre of town in order to deny people who are not even his own citizens the right to peaceful protest. What next? A Republican Guard-style intelligence agency? Rigged elections? Hereditary succession? Wait a second - this has all already happened..."
Tom, UK

And if you think I'm painting a biased picture, these two comments are from US citizens:

"Please protest peacefully in great numbers. We in the US are kept so far away from the president that all he sees are hand picked cheering insiders at $5000 per plate dinners. Please speak for US."
Susan, US

"To all Britons: Do not let what has happened here in the USA happen on the streets of London. Demand your rights to assemble and speak out without being vilified by a power hungry right wing agenda. And know that many, many Americans are opposed to this war and are angry. PS I wish I could be there to march with you all!"
Bob, Washington DC, USA

Current Mood: Pretty effin' hacked off, actually..
Current Music: .. so I had to rant about something..

There's something very wrong with singing along to Christmas songs at full volume, especially when they're Mariah Carey bastardisations, and especially if you love *choke* Christmas as much I do.

But fuck it. :)

Current Mood: Flipped
Current Music: Mariah Carey - Joy To The World

So I'm sat here watching the Wednesday evening film on ITV, and it suddenly occurs to me.

On this day last year, we were ambling around N'awlins on the hunt for cemeteries, because I'd seen them in the film Double Jeopardy and was intrigued.

One year on and what do I find myself watching on ITV? Yep, you guessed it.

I'm easily amused.

I just rang a customer up to chase in a debt.

Before I even get anywhere near the, "You owe me this, it was due then, now make with the readies, please." bit, I get to hear the detailed ins and outs about his tooth abscess, and what the dentist is trying to do to treat it, and how they're trying to save his tooth, and how he doesn't cry when he's there because it's a lady dentist, but wails like a banshee when he gets home.

And I'm sat here with my face all scrunched up, with the phone held away from my ear, thinking, wtf? Nice visual, man, now where's me money?

Current Mood: Ew.

I got this male rubber dolly thing through the post on Friday, as part of an advertising campaign by British Energy - whoever the hell they are. It's supposed to double up as one of those stress things, like a stress ball, except man-shaped. By the way, I know it's a man because it doesn't have boobs - the default setting for anything female, no matter the age. The fact that it doesn't have a willy, either, is irrelevant.

Anyway, to my mind, it looks like one of those voodoo dollies, but without the pins. The urge to actually give it a name and go ahead and stick pins in it of my own is becoming quite strong, though. But as much as I dislike some people, I'd feel pretty bad if I stuck a pin in the chest of this doll thing and the object of my contempt landed up carking it of a heart attack. I'd prefer they live and suffer, but I'm nice like that. So I'll just keep squeezing it and beating the hell out of it on my desk instead, then.

Current Music: Motorhead - Ace of Spades

I can't read the words "please come again" without hearing Apu's voice in my head. Much like I can't see a sign for Dudley, or hear someone talk of it on the radio, without saying "Du-dloyy"^[1] "Doodloi"^[2] out loud to myself.


^[1] I'm not good at spelling things out phonetically. You either know what I mean or wont have a flaming scooby, in which case just nod, move along, and put it down to being an Ella moment. :)

^[2] Thanks to Mr. blackcustard - the boi (that's an accent spelling - I'm not trying to be cool..) to know these things.

Current Mood: amused

Driving along the M1 today, I saw a sign that someone had painted up on one of the bridges, saying, "DEFY UNJUST LAWS".

I'm just watching Cry Freedom on Sky right now, and at one of the "unlawful gatherings" there were placards being held up - one of which said, "DEFY UNJUST LAWS".

Hmm.

Current Music: Peter Gabriel - Biiiiiiiiiko (in my head)

I had a phone call this afternoon from Jane.

"Where are you?" She asked.
"On my way back from Leicester," I replied.
"So you’ve not heard the news, then?"
"News?"
"Oh God you should have been in work last night. All hell broke loose!"

Hythe Pier may not be the prettiest pier in the world; in fact I’d go so far as to say that it’s pretty groggy, actually. It’s not lined with amusements or anything - it’s just a simple, functional pier, at the end of which is a landing stage for the ferry that connects those of us who live on the Waterside, with the City of Southampton. Actually I say it’s not lined with amusements; I guess that depends on which variety of outer clothing you chose to wear. The pier itself was opened 122 years ago, and it holds the distinction of having the oldest operating pier railway in Britain running along its half-mile length. So although it doesn’t look much, I guess by virtue of its age and the fact that it’s still standing and providing a service, it’s pretty impressive.

Until just after 6 o’clock last night, that is, when some plank (suspected of being under the influence) skippering a dredger, decided to plough a 50-foot wide gaping hole straight through the middle of it, cutting it completely in two. The 6 o’clock ferry from town had just docked, and the crowded pier train was carrying shoppers and football fans back home along the pier. Had the dredger hit a couple of minutes earlier, it would have taken the train out with it. Had it been a couple of minutes later, it would have taken out those who couldn’t fit on the train, who were walking back along the pier under their own steam.

Why should I have been at work? Well only because all the "exciting" stuff happens when I’m not. Our offices are just by the entrance to the pier, and as you can imagine, all hell really did break loose. All the emergency services descended on the village – coastguard rescue helicopters were circling the area in search of any possible casualties in the water - friends and relatives of those who were expected home on that ferry rushed down to ensure that their loved ones were safe. The area was cordoned off while the searches were going on, but even so, it was a hive of activity.

As it happens, there appears to have been no casualties or loss of life at all, which is practically a miracle all things considered - well apart from the pier itself, that is, which for those of us who’ve grown up with it always being there, is sad enough, thankyouverymuch.

( A coupla pre-collision pics.. )

Pompey!
We've drawn against the scummers for God's sake!
Oh man I've got to get me a ticket for that game.
Blood bath anyone?

Current Mood: amused

Can I go home yet? I've had enough of today. I want it to end now, please. I'm getting to the point where every other word wants to be "fuck" or a derivative thereof, and restraining myself is becoming a real chore. I'm also pretty much at the point of throwing my hands up in the air in a, "fuck the lot of you - I simply don't care anymore" stylee. (See how I managed to slip that one in?) Unfortunately I do care, but don't worry, I'll give myself forty lashes for that particular emotion when I get home. My language gets worse, the more wound up I get. I need to suck a bar of carbolic or something. I'm a real lady, me.

Current Mood: frustrated

Of course the problem with going to bed early on a school night, is that I wake up far too early the next morning - half 4 in this case - and because it's not the weekend, I lay there for a bit thinking of all the things I have to do at work today, which pretty much puts the kibosh an any chance of going back to sleep, which finds me sat at my desk at half 5 in the morning, which quite frankly is obscene.

And I'm out of coffee.

Current Mood: headachey

Thanks to the lovely Mandy for this. :)

Questions and Answers from the first nutrition expert I've found who seems to make sense:

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat; your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain....Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ..... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie ... flour is a veggie! One more thing..."When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and some salt."

Current Mood: amused

I did my hair a bit differently today, not overly so, but just dried it with a bit of thought, then sprayed it and left it until just now when I scraped the ol' bug rake through as I'm about to head off out the door straight after the footie. It looks bloody brilliant, it does. Dead professional and everything. Of course it would turn out like that on a day when it's blowing a right hoolie outside, so by the time I get to my car I'm going to look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards (I wish!), wouldn't it?

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Footie ont box

Wtf is Operation Goodison Exercise?

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Some bint wibbling on about...

Well Friday evening, as expected, I was absolutely dead on my arse and passed out in the chair as soon as I got home. So despite being a tad boracic at the moment I decided to order takeout, thanks to a nice li’l bonus I got on Thursday night, and took myself off to bed early.

The bonus was as a result of us being busy as hell, so the girl I was working with had to go out driving to help out, which meant I was in the office on my own nearly all night. I absolutely crapping it that I was going to mess up big time and have all the drivers screaming and yelling at me over the radio that I was sending them to all the wrong jobs or something. I mean I know I’ve lived in The Forest my whole life, but I still don’t know all the road names at all - I’m still picking those up, but as it turned out, I seem to have winged it quite well. A couple of the drivers even complimented me on how I’d done, which totally surprised me. Of course knowing my luck, those were probably the only two I did get right, and the rest have been calling me blind behind my back heh. I guess I’ll find out tonight.

Anyway, off to bed early Friday night, and had a nice lay-in on Saturday morning - getting up at about half 11, I think.

Yesterday, I got a few loads of washing and stuff done and dusted, but apart from watching the rugby (:D) and a few other bits I don’t recall right now, was again spent mostly asleep. Of course the down side of this is that by the time it came to going to bed last night, I was wide-a-flamin’-wake, wasn’t I? Now the sensible thing to have done would have been to have taken myself off to bed anyway, but oh no, not me, I’ve gotta sit up and watch the World Series, haven’t I? What a muppet. So consequently I didn’t land up going to bed until daylight this morn, and am now just about as knackered as I was on Friday. Yes I know, I know, you don’t have to say anything.

This afternoon, I’m just about to jump in the shower, then have some work to do that I brought home, before watching Saints embarrass themselves at Everton, and then I’m off to work again tonight.

Must remember to set my veejoe up to tape that bloke Blaine coming out of his box before I go - if in fact he’s actually still in it and not a hologram or some other such stupid thing – and see if there really was a point to this whole stunt. Apparently he’s just going to be rushed off to hospital so there probs won’t be much to see, but you can bet your arse if I don’t tape it, something’ll kick off and I’ll wish I had.

Right, shower time.

Ooh, before I go. This time last year, almost exactly, actually, I was updating from Seattle at the start of roadtripamerica. (Aaargh I still have the last few days of the trip to type up!) I wish we were just setting off now.

Current Mood: tired

I've just been hit by a sudden wave of extreme tiredness, to the point where I feel quite ill. I want to go home and crawl into bed and sleeeeeeeep! Of course knowing me, by the time I get home I'll be wide awake again for all of about 5 minutes or so - just long enough for me to decide to not go straight to bed after all. You know the rest.

Plans for the weekend are to do bugger all, well except watch the rugby, obviously, ooh and watch Pirates and probably a whole host of other movies, I think. Yep, that'll do me.

Get me out of here!!!!

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Evanescence - My Immortal

Remember my post last week about 118118? Well I'd completely forgotten about it until I opened the mail this morn, and what do I find? A fancydancy cheque in there for £1.20. Yep. A whole £1.20. To be honest, I was surprised to get anything. Best I don't spend it all at once, eh? :)

Current Mood: amused