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LiveJournal for phoenix.
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| Monday, January 21st, 2002 |
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 Which drink are you? never had that. |
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 What obscure animal are you? cool |
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| Thursday, January 17th, 2002 |
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Well I have not written in awhile. But my life is changing so quickly, that I need to sit and just have some quiet space. First Off. I am pregnant. Found out on Boxing day, we are now into our 8th week and going strong. Were totally happy , but I am also totally overwhelmed. Didnt think it would happen. So I have been taking it tres easy in my little sphere. Second , were moving. Not sure where, when, but i know its gonna be away. Were excited..sad, nervous. who knows. change it always good. Third. I realized that I haev a totally new line of close friends. ALhtough I still have some of my older ones, they seem to be drifting farther and farther away as the days go by. No more calls, no more emails. no more invites. no more. Thats ok. I have come to terms with the fact that people move on, I move on. The majority of the people that have left my sight as friends are not who I am anymore. so blah. Sad, but true. scary, but reality. I am really good at keeping people ar arms length, more for my protection, then theirs. Its a good thing too, because I would have been really hurt by now. What am I talking about, I am hurt. anyway...It saddens me when people "dislike" me or dont want to be around me, but then you never really know if thats true, becuase they never really tell you..lol.. but hey maybe the truth of the matter is , I dont really want to be around them? who knows right? who knows what the subconscious holds. Everybody needs people around them, people close to them, that will love them for every little quirk, every little flaw. oh well...dont know if I have found that yet. I think i haev in a few people, but then I dont hear from them anymore so. life is so crazy, and maybe this is my hormones speaking...i dont know...but sometimes it sucks...this planet can be a very lonley place when you have to worry about people "liking" you. The funny thing is, I dont have to...lol..I am not going to...because I wake up every morning to a man that lvoes me for me, and two awesome kids that love me for me, and a baby growing in my tummy that was made by me (and hubby of course, but he did only play a small role..lol) There are friends I love, but I am constantly guessing if they feel the same way about me, because I dont always feel that way. I start to wonder that if I was to jsut sort of go away, would anyone notice? dont know. dont think so. Well of course my kids would...but you know they can only reach the cerel and starvation would set in quickly. I have disappeared before, and people let me do it. Done. No problem doing it again. I dont liek guessing myself, and who I am . I dont like that feeling. So I am not going to do it anymore. I am not going to feed other peoples egos. I am here, come get me, I am not chasing. I never did, and I am not going to start now. I realize I am not imporant on the grande scheme of things, but I am important in my little sphere and in my little sphere is where I shall lie. B ecause thats where I am at peace. I like it here. I like who I am when I dont have people expecting things of me. I like who I am when I DONT have people talking behind my back. Its really all just social craziness...so ya..life...its changing...I am sort of just holding on for the ride..see where I go next. It funny really. Fourth change..my relegion...very very different then what it was. Where this will take me, who knows, but I do know that where I was, wasnt healthy and the people I meet there were not ALL fun. (some were). I like where I am now, I like the state of my mind, and my feelings, and my personality. I like me. Dont know alot of people that can say that. But I do. I want to share me with people, but on ly with people who feel the same way I do about things, and people who will respect me and love me for me, so that I can love them too.. I am thinking of putting a password on my account..not sure who would want to "read", but I am not sure who is even on my "friends" list anymore.....hmmm somthing to ponder. Real friends, you know who you are....*shrugs* Sarah |
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| Sunday, January 6th, 2002 |
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I AM ALIGNED WITH THE ELEMENT AIR! Element: Air Direction:East Celtic Celebration: Spring Equinox (approx. Mar 21st) Personality Traits: Optimism, Intelligence, Mental Quickness Those of the Element Air, tend to be free spirits, creative and fun loving yet intellgent and thoughtful. Find out what element you are aligned with This test created by Celtic_Shamanes ho hum |
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| Thursday, January 3rd, 2002 |
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 Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz ummm k |
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My Spirit Animal is the Dragon! Cycle of Power: Varies Aspects: Magick, Shapeshifting, Element Kinship The Aspects of the dragon vary by elemental alignment. This test made by Celtic_Shamanes woho |
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 Which David Lynch character are you most like? ohhh good fun |
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hmmm how nice... I did this three times trying to change that..lol....no such luck..I meant to be a bitch.. mew.. |
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 Which Rocky character are you? wohooo |
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 Which Evil Criminal are You? um ok |
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| Friday, December 28th, 2001 |
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LOL ok all I can do is laugh at that one.... holy shit....lol phoenix |
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| Thursday, December 13th, 2001 |
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 Waste 5 minutes of your life with the QuasiGoth Dead Person Test! |
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| Friday, December 7th, 2001 |
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Anyone that licks me is sure to say I taste like: Click here to take the new and improved Ice Cream Flavor Test at assbabies.org!hmmmmm |
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| Thursday, December 6th, 2001 |
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hmmm interesting.....Rod didnt you say something along these lines to me recently? lol phoenix |
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 Red-eyed tree frogs come from the warm and humid rain forests of Costa Rica in Central America. Some believe that their red eyes are a form of protection called "startle coloration". These frogs are very mellow during the day, and tend to be active only at night, so if the frog is awakened in the daytime, as might happen if a predator chanced upon it despite its excellent day time camouflage, the eyes pop abruptly open, hopefully startling the predator. This species tends to do better in a community of other red eyed tree frogs. |
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 Take the What Cat Are You? test by  Strawberry: 50/100 Pear: 0/100 Banana: 30/100 Tomato: 0/100 Lemon: 30/100 Take the What Fruit Are You? test by  webkin and aaronr!good fun phoenix |
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Hello.... well thought I would write because I have a ton on my mind... went to the moot last night.....good fun...I love seeing all you guys, and all the other people that dont see this....*smiles*..it was great fun....I have a huge cringe factor going on this morning though.....*I cant beleive i flashed in a restraunt* ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol when I first met Dana, a friend of mine I absolutly adore, and she reads this sooooo...lol...anyway when I first met her, we were at a moot....and there was people all around us...and not just pagans from our group...but people just at the restraunt to eat... and she sat up all of a sudden like *and I still laugh like crazy over this, doing it now* she stood up and flashed everyone...not just once , but three seperate times...lol...I remeber OMG that crazy pagan, because I was still in quiet mode..lol...it was my first oshawa pagan contact...lol....so anyway I rember thinking I could never do that!! holy.... well Dana....I am following in your footsteps...lol...I friggin did it!! lol....in a restraunt no less!! gods ..major cringe factor...I feel really bad though...really embarassed....lol....holy....never again....I need to not drink..thats the key i think...no drinking... lol anyway.. for those that didnt know ....G and I are still the big M word....a while ago i wrote a big long entry on life and stuff...and we are still that way....Except for the odd kiss here and there...totally mono...I like it...I like it alot...i feel secure and stuff you know.I am still the playful me I always am (though I am starting to thnk I need to like take a breather on that, i hate people being scared of what i may do next..lol) I feel good..and g feels secure and good and thats the most important...because I love that man...totally....And if he asked me to give him my rihgt arm for him I would....love i guess...*smiles*...and I always said that when he came and asked me to be mono ...I would be...because I respect him that much....I respect and love him and thats that...so ts done....anyway I had to get that off my chest....I feel so bad about the whole flashing people in a restraunt thing...lol... by the way...I think we need to find a new place for the moots....does WA feel a tad snooty to anyone else? and incrediably expenisive? I MISS THE DRUM....*sigh* I dont really feel totally like me at WA...not sure what it is. ....maybe the fact that I got told to not show my tits..lol....hmmm but you know the only thing i could think of saying was....but I am pagan...lol...theres a law about not showing them off some where I am sure of it...lol I didnt say that of course....anyway...I feel bad...not to bad....but bad enough...lol..but I'll get over it... I should go and get some work done... hugs and love phoenix |
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| Friday, November 30th, 2001 |
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Ok so heres the scoop....I go out last night for coffee with the ex...all is good...we got to chat and it was a really awesome time (so that wasnt what was shitty), when I left home Graham was playing on the computer. He was playing some kind of dungeon and dragons game, but he has to play it from DOS because our computer is to fast or some crazy crap..anyway...he was playing the computer , all was good...Kiss Kiss...see ya later...I come home computers off...turn it on...make a long story short...ITS COMPLETLY FUCKED...I speand all night (like till the early morn ) trying to fix it...CANNOT...finally I load this ghost thing that the techie guy installed for me....TURNS out...I have fucking DOS prompt VIRUS!! and every time DOS was loaded it friggin well deleted more files....almost taking out my entire hard drive!! sooooooo I had to clean out my whole computer then go back through and load it all back in, all the drivers, my interenet ...EVERYTHING...INSANE...on top of that the interent guys tried to tell me that I had to pay $ to get reconnected because I had MISPLACED my id and password....I speant hours and hours searching for it..I did find it finally...ON THE FUCKING TABLE IN FRONT OF MY FACE!!! soooooo I am back online again...with everything gone..well not everything...it didnt take out some music files and such...a few little things left..most mostly everything is gone...what a damn shitter...anyway all fixed...but I am still pissed...thats all I gotta say about that... phoenix |
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hmmmm..... |
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LiveJournal for phoenix.
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