Tina Serraphim

Subject:	Once upon a time in Mexico..
Time:	10:57 am

Johnny Depp never ceases to amaze me. I don’t know too many people who can have their eyes drilled out and manage to look sexy.

Friday was quiet, I went over to Jeff’s, where Jim, Jeff, Jenn, Laura, and Em were, and we all talked. It was not exciting, but it was very nice.

Saturday was my first real day at work as an LMP. I had 2 clients, one for an hour and a half and one for an hour. I had a great time, which was exciting. I came home exhausted, but it was the exhausted of a good day of manual labor. I wasn’t stressed and frumpy like I can be after working at my other job. I was very peaceful and relaxed. Game was fun Saturday night, there was a lot of good character interaction that I enjoyed.

Sunday was supah relaxed, mostly because I had a cold and was tired from work the previous day. I holed up on the couch and Luke painted his tyranids. We watched Boondock Saints and Lost Boys. We took a short break and went to the mall, where we hooked up with Wolf. We came home and I became Tina the Wonder Cook, making a roast, baby reds, a rare ahi tuna salad, and a pie.

Last night I didn’t sleep worth a darn b/c of my cold. I’m going to go home sick, I just can’t concentrate like this today.

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January 30th, 2004

Subject:	Friday Five
Time:	11:56 am

1. Who do you call first?
Luke. Then my family

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
a celebration chai

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
I'd take Luke to a tailor and let him get his favorite style of suit.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
If it was more millions, I’d give tons away. Since it’s just 1 million, probably not, I’d be investing it. Then I’d buy presents for people instead of giving away cash.

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
Hell yes. I invest as much as I can.

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January 28th, 2004

Subject:	ponderance
Time:	07:37 pm

It's weird, but now that I've had a 10 day break from my job, coming back to it has given me a new perspective on it. For one, I realize that I just don't have to think that hard about my job. For two, I realize that even when I use this method, I still get stressed out. My wrists hurt, my back hurts, and my knees annoy me. My whole body is trying to tell me to get the hell out of here.

I also feel like a ninja, or a superhero with a secret identity. I know that my time here is limited, but it's a secret I keep from my co-workers. I need to stay here just 3 more weeks ~ no sense in spoiling it now by some random occurence. Too many people have been fired in recent months for me to feel comfortable.

I'm still working hard. I got a bad score on a call for a totally bullshit reason, and I brought it up with my sup. In the grand scheme of things, that's not going to matter what my January scores are, but I'm still working here, and it still matters that they see how much I do for them.

I also realized just how long I've been here. 4 1/2 years. I told a friend of mine that and she freaked because she realized that was a lot longer than any job she's ever had. It's the longest time I've ever been at a job. It's done right by me, even if now I'm annoyed with it. It's a company with good and bad points, but I know I'm going to miss parts of it when I'm done here.

Definitely not much of it, though.

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January 27th, 2004

Subject:	church of three
Time:	07:24 pm

Yea and verily do I invoke the mighty Money Gods, whose presence has been a blessing in my life. I have contributed to the flow of the mighty Economic river, whose tributaries serve as the veins of a nation, an entire world. And lo, I did pay my taxes, and lo, I did not take advantage of my tuition in it's entirety last year. I beseech thee, please allow my income tax return to be great, and to fill the pool of my savings, and allow me to live comfortably through times of economic upheaval.

In the name of the Church of Three, I, your High Priestess, call upon thee to make this so.

Ahmen.

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Subject:	running down a dream
Time:	11:38 am

I’m starting to ramp up in excitement for my new profession. I’ve gone back to my school’s website and have started reading the continuing education courses, and I realize I want to take several of them. I’m still in love with massage, which makes me so happy. I was afraid for a while that I wasn’t, and that’s why I let myself stay at AT&T.;

It’ll be hard letting go of my income. I made nearly 40k this year, definitely my highest income to date. In a time where economics are unstable and a gallon of gas fluctuates up to (but not quite) $2.00, now might not be the best time ever to decide to kiss such stable income goodbye.

On the other hand, every day I’m working here, I’m not getting better at massage. Every day I’m sitting here, I’m not earning the experience that is going to make me attractive to employers and clients alike.

I’m about to start taking some large risks with my life. The largest risks that I’ve taken since enrolling in massage school. I feel good about myself, and my choices. I’m excited for this to happen.

It’s going to be hard. I’m going to have to say goodbye to the little luxuries that I’ve become accustomed to over this past year. I’m going to have to stop indulging as much. Going out to eat is going to be much less Milestones and much more Chez Dennois.

I may even stay at my current job, if they’ll let me do it part time. I have asked about it in the past, and the answer has always been a resounding “no.” This time, I think it’s better to ask forgiveness than for permission. If I have to make a choice between money and being happy, then ramen, here I come.

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January 26th, 2004

Subject:	Accents thick as peanut butter
Time:	12:14 pm

I *loved* Whistler. Even thought I didn’t get on the slopes to try to kill myself snowboarding or skiing (I’m notoriously ungraceful) I did manage to spend a lot of time relaxing. I got a wonderful massage from a Canadian massage therapist. They learn a lot more than American LMP’s do, and that translates to a massage I thoroughly enjoyed. (The fact that Luke’s mom paid for it made it pretty rockin’, as well.) We ate well, we hot tubbed and swam, and everyone had an accent. Whether it was from Hong Kong, Sydney, or London, everyone was from somewhere else. They were also friendly. In the extreme. I was almost wigged by the good feeling that seemed to blanket the area along with the snow.

We came home early due to the snow, but that was nice too. I got to spend time at home with Luke, and I got to game some. I got to read a lot. I finished Uplift War, Snow Crash, and started on New Spring.

When I came back to work, I was approached by a co-worker who was happy to see me. He was wondering if I’d been fired. I laughed and asked if anyone had been fired while I was away. It’s sad when that becomes a joking matter.

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January 14th, 2004

Subject:	Pieces of me
Time:	11:17 am

Here I go, on the final countdown towards having 10 days worth of freedom from responsibility. I’m *really* looking forward to it. Once today is over, I’m out. I will not be updating my journal online. I won’t be checking my email much. I don’t expect anyone to really need to get a hold of me, but my phones on for those who might.

I went out last night and talked to Chris over coffee. Our coffee dates are a lot more calm now than they used to be. We’re coming up on almost a year broken up now. Both of us seem to have found new SO’s who are way better suited to our temperaments than we were to each other.

We talked about gaming, and my moving to Bham, and the new job I’ll be starting. We talked about French films and websites and creative energy. We talked about what we wanted to be when we grew up.

Tomorrow is Jim’s bday, and I’ll be celebrating it with a few friends. This week is chock full of people I want to spend time with. It makes me happy.

My dreams have been very disturbing of late. I’m wondering if it’s the stress of transition. I’m not a patient person, and I have been known to constantly drive myself to the brink of exhaustion. I’m thinking maybe this will be the year I try to knock that off. If anything I have

maramaye to thank for the living example of what happens if I don’t chill out.

In other news, Sebastian remains the coolest cat I’ve ever shared a home with.

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January 13th, 2004

Subject:	Holding Pattern
Time:	09:56 am

It’s an unusual place for me to be. Usually I have plans, and then I go through with them.

I have my job waiting for me after vacation. I have vacation waiting for me. I have all of these plans, but they range between 2 and 6 months away from me. It’s odd for two reasons. One reason being that normally I don’t make plans that extend more than a week in advance, and the second being long term plans used to fall through for me more than a little.

I think my fear of commitment stemmed from a fear of losing something before I had it. Fear of failure, not that different from everybody else. Now though, I am making plans, following through with them. Succeeding. They’re little successes. I haven’t taken on any Death Stars, I haven’t destroyed any tyrannical governments. On the scale of my life though, they’re important successes.

It would be easy to say that my life is going in a direction I didn’t expect. Mostly because I didn’t expect my life to go in any direction. Other people always thought I would go somewhere. Heck, other people still do.

It’s easier to see the progress when you’re outside looking in.

I realized yesterday how things can change so drastically without you ever noticing. Sadly, it was from watching first season Buffy and noticing just how different David Boreanez looked from how he looks now. I realized that I was 18 the year that Buffy went on the air. So much has changed!

It’s almost as though I’m living my life in fast forward. Already married, already divorced, already had my “career” and now am looking to strike out in favor of job with a more artistic temperament.

So weird.

I seem much more boring to myself these days. I have less to write about doing. On the other hand, I seem a lot happier as well. Funny how that works.

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January 12th, 2004

January 9th, 2004

Subject:	I’d rather be reading Snow Crash
Time:	11:14 am

I got 2 out of 3 of my set chores done, recognizing that I needed to get paid before I could get my brakes worked. So instead I went and spent time with the marvelous Anjanette, whom I love. We had Chinese, explored back roads and went shopping. It was a good few hours spent.

I drove up to B’ham and called my friend

conducts on the way. She was sick but still spry, and we had a lively chat. I was happy to catch up with her after the holidays of DOOM.

B’ham was quiet and relaxing, which is exactly what I wanted. Luke cooked yummy clam spaghetti, and then played Settlers of Catan. Sean handed me the phone, and it was Marci, and surprisingly we talked for 45 minutes. I think that’s the longest conversation I’ve had with her that wasn’t involved in game. I look forward to more conversations with her.

I read Snow Crash for the rest of the evening. I forgot how much I liked that story. His storytelling is rife with interesting imagery.

Then I slept in an hour later than I should have thanks to a very quiet alarm clock. So I drove like the Deliverator with a 20:00 minute old ‘za and made it with 4 seconds to spare. Go me!

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January 7th, 2004

Subject:	when gamers are bored.
Time:	10:37 am

I went home early because of the snow. Getting up the hill to my apartment was a trick.. fortunately two kind souls were there when I got stuck and helped push me up. I got home and knew I wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.

I cleaned the house with Kiale’s help, which made me very happy. Afterwards I took a nice long bath by candlelight, listening to Tori Amos. Then I took a nap. Eve and Brian came over later, and we hung out for a while. Jamie offered to run a game later in the evening, and so they left and had some dinner and came back.

Jamie ran a stellar game for us, a little one shot vampire game. My character was the little sister, and she got to watch her older sister, her role model, and her crush all get turned into nasty, blood-drinking vampires. Well, technically she was blacked out for the actually blood-letting, but she woke up to a room full of naked, bloody dead people who turned out to be her friends.

Brian was the star of the show, though. He was a beat poet and for his first trick as a vampire he went onstage to his talent show and read “F*ck the Trees” and then bite the head off of a swallow stolen from the previous talent contestants. It was strangely prophetic but it also had the effect of having us rolling for about 10 minutes.

My character was the only one not turned, and while she would have made a perfect little ghoul for this new Caitiff coterie, I decided not to go that route. I called the cops on them as soon as they left me alone. Unfortunately they killed the cops that I called, but then I had to go to bed before I found out the consequences of those actions.

Of course my mind is now churning with the concept of a vampire slayer, years older and wiser after having watched her sister be turned when she was young.. ;~)

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January 6th, 2004

January 5th, 2004

Subject:	Out with the old, in with the new
Time:	05:06 pm

I haven’t been able to reflect much on my New Year yet, I’ve been out experiencing it. I’m a little bummed it started with a flu, but I’m a lot grateful I got to spend the night out with my friends before that. I got to spend a lot of time with Luke, which is always a plus. We proved our utter geekery by watching the commentary on Firefly now that we’ve watched all the episodes. We’ve even re-watched episodes because we started showing them to Jamie off and on.

I’m delving into a new career, and I’m on my way to starting it. Starting Jan 24th I’ll be working 2 jobs for a while.. which doesn’t intimidate me lots because it’s the one I really want to do. I was very happy with my interview massage, and I was even happier when I was offered the job before I walked out the door.

I’m delving into a new way of life, one that offers me a lot more time off. I’m a little worried because it’ll be tempting to waste that time, what with not having a set schedule for much. I want to use some of it to work out, and some of it to do massage out of my home, and some to spend time with friends who have been shamefully neglected of late. I will also have to learn to live with my newfound lack of fundage while I deal with having a part time job. Goodbye Purple Café, hello Denny’s and ramen.

I’m delving into a long term commitment. I’m scared of it, but not like I’ve been in the past. I’m open to the idea of letting it work, and while I know people around me might say, “What’s your problem, fool? Why would you be scared of a relationship WORKING?” I think it’s better to just admit that it does scare me than pretend that it doesn’t. That way I can deal with the fear instead of ignoring it. The fact that I’m with someone who seems in every way to be meant for me is certainly help quell my fears.

I’m delving into moving. Yes, like, out of the city and back to Bham. It is part of my commitment. Luke is working on a career, and of the two of us I’m the more movable one. Once my lease is up in August, assuming things go according to plan (Hail Eris, may she ignore me) I will be hitching a ride north. This doesn’t mean the end of me completely, as I’ll still be commuting on the weekends I’m certain, but it will mean a lot more alone time, which will be a shock to my system. I’m hoping I’ll be prepared for it when it happens.

Last year was a year of constant change, but this year I think the changes are going to be more outward as opposed to changing part of the internal landscape. I’m looking forward to them.

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Subject:	Red, White and You
Time:	02:30 pm

So Luke and I had just pulled out of the new Fatburger in Bellevue, on our way to Mercer Island to visit his friend Chris K. We were trying to get on the 405 south, not as easy as it sounds with all the Bellevue construction. The original exit we were going to take was closed, and we followed the detour signs.

We were sitting at a turn, waiting for the green arrow to appear, sandwiched between a brown Honda and a Bellevue minivan. After a minute of sitting there, I ask Luke for the Coke. I knew the light was going to change but I was thirsty. The green arrow changes over while I’m trying to take a sip. Everything seemed like it was in slow-motion for a second, me fumbling with my cup, looking in my rear-view mirror to see the annoyed driver whom I’m sure wanted to beep at me for not getting my foot off the brake and onto the gas.

I watched the brown Honda slide right into traffic and I was still sitting there, trying to sip my soda. A white bullet shot through the intersection right before my eyes and slammed forcefully into the brown Honda, causing it to spin almost a full 360 while glass shattered and rained on the ground like falling diamonds. I recall with absolute clarity how annoyed the driver of the Honda appeared as I saw him through his driver’s side window. The white bullet had come to a full and complete stop.

Had I driven forward, I would have been the 8 ball in the corner pocket of that little game of billiards. Luke would most certainly have been hurt and I probably would have gotten a nice side of whiplash.

I drove past the accident in a kind of haze, contemplating how Coke is it.

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January 2nd, 2004

Subject:	Binge and Purge
Time:	12:25 pm

Dec 31st = good. Party very nice. *edit* I got to kiss a lot of pretty girls and go home with a very pretty boy.

Jan 1st = bad. Mongolian death flu. *edit* Found out that 2 co-workers and my supervisor were also afflicted. It was indeed the death flu and not food poisoning or over-indulgence in alcohol. Unfortunately, I know where the rum's gone.

Jan 2nd = improving. *edit* I'm exhausted and going home early to sleep the rest of this shit off. My supervisor is all manner of understanding about it. Yay me.

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December 30th, 2003

Subject:	Ahhhh, sarcasm.
Time:	07:12 pm

Jamie: Jen wants to know if you'll keep her company while the boys are playing games tonight.
Me: tonight?
Jamie: yes
Me: sure. I don't get off until 8:30
Me: and she has to feed me.
Me: but if she's cool with that, then I'll come over.
Jamie: she says "fine"
Jamie: Do you want pizza?
Me: only if it's canadian bacon and mushroom, I don't like pepperoni
Jamie: "ok"
Jamie: alright, looks like that is all settled.
Jamie: Anything else I can do for you? ;-)
Jamie: There will be a candian bacon and mushroom pizza waiting for you.
Me: no, you may go.
Jamie: Thank you, your majesty.
Jamie signed off at 7:11:49 PM.

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Subject:	Exciting adventures in the life of Tina!
Time:	12:30 pm

I washed my cat last night. Of course, I suppose that could be considered exciting, but Sebastian is a bit of a wimp, so I was in no danger of tooth or claw. In fact, he purrs when he’s shampooed. It’s just not a trial washing him. It’s the getting him to hold still to dry that’s a bitch.

I also had endive and smoked salmon on toast. I had all this fancy left-over food from the Xmas season that unfortunately went unused due to surprise work time. So, I got a tasty treat.

This morning I was again picked on by my sup’s sup about my internet shopping. I was quite proud of myself for not feeling humiliated. Instead, when he told my co-workers I was “going to buy a dress,” I said, “Nope, I was just looking at them. I can’t afford one. You need to give me a raise.” I felt pretty ballsy saying that, but he just said, “We’re looking into that.” Referring of course to the normal yearly raises. I felt like I came out ahead on that exchange. On the other hand, I’m rather annoyed that these exchanges happen at all.

You know, it’s a good thing I have something to look forward to, because looking around where I’m at is depressing.

I feel just like (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rasputin/73581.html) Jim here.

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December 29th, 2003

Subject:	Burn the land and boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me..
Time:	06:12 pm

There are only 2 proper days left of this here year!

Anyone got any cool resolutions they want to share?

Or are you all on the "I hate making resolutions" train?

And where are people going to be?

I plan on being at World's End. I think that's where the majority of my friends are going to be.

I'm really looking forward to this new year. I think that a lot of cool life changes that I want to see happen in my life are going to happen. I'm excited about it.

It's nice to be excited and looking forward to the future.

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Subject:	Christmas is what you make it.
Time:	11:05 am

Thursday I got off work and immediately went over to Jenn Walker’s after picking up Luke and the crème brulee I made. We brought the presents and put them under the tree, while Jenn was busily working on fondue in the kitchen.

We talked, we laughed, Cecily called and we passed the phone around, and eventually Heidi came over with a roast from heck. We had four bottles of wine between us, and we all liked the presents we got for each other. We watched Firefly and talked more. It was a very nice Xmas.

Friday I had my interview. It went well, I was put at ease very quickly, and am going back on Saturday the 3rd to give her a massage. There doesn’t seem to be any timing conflicts, I’m excited. After the interview I spent the day with Luke. We watched Firefly and Terminator 3.

Saturday we went and watched Return of the King. Pretty much took all day, and then we drove to Tacoma to catch the tail end of

kielrain’s bday party. After a bit of visiting, we drove all the way back to Bothell. It was a long day of not doing much.

Sunday we went and had Xmas over at Luke’s Dad and step mom’s house. It was a nice affair, we had sushi @ Todai and then came home and opened presents. I got a beautiful set of bowls from Uwajamya, (which I’ve misspelled) and a cookbook for seafood, plus some money and a gift card for Barnes and Noble. The parents liked my present of beautiful etched glasses with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, and the kids liked my presents of X2 and AC/DC. Then we went and I met Luke’s best friend Chris Kelly, who was a very nice person. Then Wolf came over and we watched Indiana Jones and The Black Cauldron. All and all, a nice Xmas.

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December 25th, 2003

Subject:	ripped off from clarence
Time:	11:13 am

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song titles:

Band/Artist: Tori Amos

Are you female or male: Cornflake Girl
Describe yourself: Happy Phantom
How do people feel about you: Lust
How do you feel about yourself: Bliss
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: another girl’s paradise
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: Sugar
Describe where you want to be: don't make me come to Vegas
Describe what you want to be: God
Describe how you live: Crazy
Describe how you love: Sweet Dreams
Share a few words of wisdom: Pretty Good Year

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Subject:	Top ‘o the Mornin’
Time:	08:56 am

Last night I came home to a warm and friendly house. I had Luke and Sebastian, and shellfish waiting to be cooked. I made a fantastic dinner including appetizers of a red onion and caper spread with smoked salmon, shrimp cocktail, then a main course of lobster on saffron rice. I was going to make oyster stew but I got so involved in my other projects I forgot. It’s just as well, there was plenty of food and it was all tasty.

We watched Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I hadn’t seen that movie in years, and to watch it now with my perspective.. I see that it’s one of those “timeless” movies with a theme just about any kid could get behind. I remember loving it as a child, but now that I’m older I see the deeper meanings behind the cute little fuzzy clay-mation characters.

Luke called his mom, who sent me Buffy Season 1 for a Xmas present. I was really happy. She mentioned to Luke that she went to school with the actor who plays the Mayor in 3rd season. She was surprised to hear he was the main villain, she’d only seen Graduation Day on FX while she was wrapping presents. It was neat to learn, even if it doesn’t as mean much now.

Last night I had dreams of Eddie Izzard and Tori Amos. Coolest. Dream. Evar. It wasn’t even just one of those bit parts, it was like a whole long stream of getting to talk to Eddie, watching him throw a show, hearing his thoughts on comedy, and then getting to see Tori Amos backstage. I have no idea why I was treated to such good dreams. Maybe as a small apology for ousting me from bed @ 7:30 in the morning. Who knows?

To Jenn Walker and company – I should be able to make it out early today, it’s pretty quiet. Keep your fingers crossed for me, will ya?

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Dec	FEB	Apr
	03
2002	2004	2005

February 2nd, 2004

January 30th, 2004

January 28th, 2004

January 27th, 2004

January 26th, 2004

January 14th, 2004

January 13th, 2004

January 12th, 2004

January 9th, 2004

January 7th, 2004

January 6th, 2004

January 5th, 2004

January 2nd, 2004

December 30th, 2003

December 29th, 2003

December 25th, 2003