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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Trinket's LiveJournal:
| Saturday, May 4th, 2002 | |||
| 4:24 am | |||
| 4:13 am |  You can take the McDonalds Product Test by Matio64 here!
god damnit im addicted | ||
| 3:56 am |  You are the most universal mythical beast ever. Sightings of the unicorn have been reported from all over the world, even in these modern times. Unicorns are pure and incurruptible. In China, unicorns symbolised gentleness, good will, and wisdom. Christianity links the unicorn with Christ. It is said that unicorns would only allow virgin girls to see them, let alone touch them. They were easily lured into fatal ambushes by a virgin with some potchers waiting for the unicorn in nearby bushes. A unicorn's horn was a highly prised possesion, which was reputed to have great healing capabilities. With the touch of its horn, a unicorn could bring back a person who had been dead for several hours. But when disattached from the unicorn's body, the magic was suggnificantly reduced and could only protect against poison. The unicorn had the body of a horse, a unique spirling horn, and a lion's tail. They were pure white in color. Congradulations, you are a rarity amoung mythical beasts. There aren't enough of people like you in the world. damn tebby scaring me in the dark hes gonna make me scared of the dark & of creepy asian men :( soon ill carry a knife & stab him when he scares me again & then well see whos laughing :p | ||
| Thursday, May 2nd, 2002 | |||
| 3:31 pm | oh damn these lil tests we continue to take to prove to others of our nature which way do i take this? i need to go back to watching gay christopher lowell, hes very talented ;)  Find your Role-Playing Stereotype, and visit mutedfaith.com. [Angel.] my puffer fish is sick im doing everything i can to make it better again cos i like him alot i have to go to work bah i might change dept. cos mine sux balls i spraypained my new chest of draws today apple red its all over my hands now oops i even put gloves out for me to wear and then i forgot like tebby says i need to take my synthroid cos im getting forgetfull mum also sent me a card asking me to cos tebby wrote to her! hmmmf i dont mean to forget i jsut do :( Current Mood:  blank | ||
| 12:54 am |
DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||
| Monday, April 29th, 2002 | |||
| 2:01 pm | OH MY GOD! we saw vnv nation play last night in san francisco it was the best, most awesome concert i have ever been to they were amazing the whole crowd was in a trance like state doing anything those gods asked them to of course i was one of them! up the front 2 people from the front to the left. ronan touched my hand and then later i talked to mark about their show and australia. He promised that they'll tour soon and they'll definately go to melbourne cos they have a very large fan base there and sydney and they might aswell go to perth to since they are almost there but there was no guarentee cos well perth is small! I also learnt he was from sydney. i didnt know that but to tell you the truth i rarely look up info on bands sure i find them on mp3 or buy them, but i dont learn about the people behind the band cos its all about the music! the show lasted for over 1 & 1/2 hours and near the end we found out that it was being recorded for a live dvd which is so cool! so youll probably see my hand in there or maybe my camera!?* (oops nawty me) It was trully amazing how they got the crowd so envolved and absorbed. i know the music does that alone but there was so much feeling in that room last night. id look around and everyone was singing the words. it was like they were gods! VNV I salute!~ Current Mood: awed Current Music: 05 - VNV Nation - Serial Killer | ||
| Sunday, April 14th, 2002 | |||
| 8:14 pm | yay its sunday! i had to work 11-7 wich is not a good shift but i get to relax tonight im hungry last night we went to Europa and it was fun. Sorta reminded me of a school balll with white table clothes in a big function roon and blue lights but it was a change We now have DSL aswell yay for fast downloads, god i missed it! need to make cds for my carcar to go with me new cd player friday night i drank some. Havent done that in a while was interesting, feeling thankfull to my friends lol meghan said that i didnt act that bad though hmm i felt it though!!!! was Ross' birthday said a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY with a drinky he didnt need it either! hahaha my fishes look bored my placy keeps eating algae from the top of the edge of water & i think hes dead. silly fishy okies i need to eat bibi Current Mood:  hungryCurrent Music: tv in the background and mary j blige | ||
| Tuesday, March 26th, 2002 | |||
| 6:17 pm | damn im happier than ive been in a fucking long time! i do miss home alot though but i have a job now :) things are on the up & up going to lipstick tonight to dance my ass off!!!!!!!! Current Music: souxsie & the banshies, peekabo | ||
| 6:16 pm | i talked to roxie last night god i miss her her wedding is soon :/ i hope i can magically make it i need to be gifted a large sum of money i finally have a job & all the poeple i work with are fuct up i think im the smartest there & i think i can become management in about 6 months or so my boss mumbles one is a drunk, the other is butch/lesbo whacko chick, cant figure her out, 2 are just plain stupid and the other cant speak english aahhh just means my days will be full of lots of work to do :) yay for me :) | ||
| Tuesday, March 12th, 2002 | |||
| 4:11 am | AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRRRRRRRRRR bla bla bla i want to paint now | ||
| 4:05 am | |||
| 3:37 am | so kelsey turned 21 yay for her i took her to my local dives in folsom & she um enjoyed herself! yes bar drinks arent measures & when you hang out with the bar tenders it can be a deadly concotion: needless to say she was sozzled at the end of the night! so i go to bed early, bout 1am & i keep thinking of when dan & i went to melbourne in 1998. One of the guys we hung out with & i am not sure but i think his name is Rob keeps popping in my head. Big tall guy used to have dreads, cute. ;P sometimes i do that, i jsut want to know what that person did with themselves. For the life of me though I cant find him on the net but its a big world with limited resources and a long way to walk to find out. so im jsut gonna have to dream im thirsty so i peered into my memory boxes i have so many but i cant find 1998s box i know i have one whered it go? erfy anxiety to much coffee , cigareettes, alcohol & sleep its 3:36 am, im supposed to be in bed arrgghhh | ||
| Sunday, February 10th, 2002 | |||
| 8:48 pm | today we took kat to san francisco to haight street chris came but he is still sick so we ended up walking him back to the car to sleep & kat & i went on shopping but we didnt go far cos then kat got bored i got a cool wifebeeter though that has skulls all over the front of it so i think i can try & be happy now i want to i still need to cry & stop being a hard ass tho tonight i go to hollies for sex in the city i havent gone in a long time infact i havent seen hollie in 3 weeks i suck at being a good friend you cant make friends & ignore the old one smack bah :/ i also need to go to get Levi & drink some wine with him & then drive us all to the rage to pick up my pay & say hi to everyone i dont know how much ill get but money would be nice as im very poor right now infact i cant get cigs if i dont get it do i still have to pay to get in now im technically employed? "mental note must hand out more fliers" my ears keep popping my lips are dry & i need tog et my glasses back from the options dont they understand that people dont want to wear contacts 24/7 whilst they take their sweet time fixing them my throat is bland i need to imbibe goodnight Current Mood:  mellow | ||
| Saturday, February 9th, 2002 | |||
| 8:10 pm | im messed up in the head & i cant talk again why is it that th people around me can unload onto me but i cant unload the truth to them why am i so scared i hate bottling it up i know that chris thinks that im high maintenance but maybe its cos i want some affection it sure doesnt come free anymore maybe all my worries about us are cos i dont feel loved. there is so much want to be loved trying to be sold in the shops maybe i should go sit in the shops for a bit someone might buy me FUCK THIS SHIT i let myself go last night & got drunk im becoming an asshole i was mean until i started to drink & then i was happy ive been drinking alot lately & smoking its gross i wish i could just stop i wish i could crawl into a ball and die atleast for a while that or move away from all the pain | ||
| Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002 | |||
| 9:30 pm | so as you can probably guess that this has become a bitch festation for me to complain about how my life isnt working out right now & i guess thats a bit boring if your reading this but then i dont tell anyone to read my journal they jsut do thats ok:- so here it is i jsut happen to look at tebby (my husbands) info & notice he makes referal in his interests as liking: " my girlfriends pussy" I jsut thought id put that out there encase anyone else would happen to read this & think hmm,.... that might PISS HER OFF! wheres her pussy been since he got a cable modem then? so my sis is here now & its really nice having her around but its also very strange i cant seem to function right i mean all i can think is that I dont know her anymore ive been away so long & shes changed & were not kids anymore & i dont even know if shes happy or regreting visiting me its making me think about going home right now id do anythign to go home, i feel empty inside there is no creative spirit in me anymore, ive finally become a number & with thanks to kelsey, & my realisation that shes made me think about her & her realisations that people are around her in her life (they have value); some people i want to be in mine are not because i made it that way. i cant value someone if i dont value myself!!! i left i dont have a job here & now im poor i have been shopping for 2 days & i dont even care that there is a cool pair of shoes i like cos im over it id rather save my money & jsut go home fuck material shite to beable to walk into my dads new house or catch the flipping train! right now id like that ya know when you value things that are relivant in your live & then you take peices apart & think on its worthiness? im wondering right now on americas worthiness on my soul where do i go when I die? im shutting down from the outside in on top of all this la femme nikita ended last night or atleast it did to me life is boring i want to bounce images of tank girl & sucking water out of peoples bodies come to mind as they get of the airoplane im smoking like a chimney, i stink & i hate it my skin is drab and my clothes reek & the more i repulse myself the more i crave its cyindrical poison | ||
| Wednesday, January 16th, 2002 | |||
| 1:52 pm | so last night chris got in my face about bullshit and costing him money so i told him thats what husbands & credit cards are for & he took it out of my purse and cut it up i was jsut wnding him up?!!!! its not like he doesnt do it to me every time he opens his mouth! knowing full well that being inbetween jobs i dont have a source of cash. then today i woke early and took chris' car, forgetting that he had a docs appointment and went to a 3 hour exam for a job i would like to get, dispatcher 1 him being a tard didnt take my car to the docs and just didnt go so there he goes blaming me for somethign he could have easily fixed if hed have shown initiative. $25 fee charged for missing appointments. i dread walking in the door for an attack from chris re: his car i walk in the door, instead i am attcked by his father about the dog jumping up at me and not controlling her and the car and my hair? i retaliate as i have been festering on the attack i was expecting with chris for 45 mins on the way home. I launch into retaliation briefly and storm into the bedroom to give razor her medicine as she is overdue for it & her hives have broken out again. Chris follows and attacks me cos his dad felt uncomfortable & left like chris ever cared b4 we avoid him because chris hates going over there! i can recall many an incident in which i have made chris visit his parents and ended up in a mass dissagreement cos chris has turned hostile & endangering my life on the road trip over to his parents house. this relationship is turning more sour by the week i dont know if its in anticipation of my sister coming or the lack of funds but im sure that chris is destined to die an old bitter lonely man as giddy as i act sometimes i think he programs me that way with his banter on about me not being capable and being stupid. im not an idiot im stressed there hasnt been a day that i dread facing him cos he'll go off at me im shrivelling into a frail weak "thing" technically if he wants to place blame it should be on him as he told me when i came over that he didnt want me working and then i insisted that i work as not to get bored the first day of my job he signs a lease on an expensive apartment , that we can afford on one wage but doesnt allow for his shitty luxuries like psx games (even though he still manages to buy them) hows this for size we have for the last fortnight been surviving, as i dont have money on food bought with my xmas money. they went on these groceries from costco: bread, teriyaki tv diners, pies and soda, milk, juice and medication he insisted he needed but hasnt even opened out of its paper bag (purchased 1/9/02) | ||
| Tuesday, January 8th, 2002 | |||
| 3:37 am | chris is being an asshole i want to fly home and not come back fares arent bad on 1600 one way Current Mood:  stressed | ||
| Sunday, January 6th, 2002 | |||
| 3:58 am |
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| 3:43 am | i feel so weird today im homesick it makes me feel even worse though that im married & jobless its not that i dont love chris i do its that i feel sort of trapped like i have a moral obligation to be financially stable how can i be when all i want to do is move home? he says we can move to oz now. in 2 years im really looking forward to it but what if that falls through? we are waiting to save money to beable to afford a home saving but i cant get my ass out of bed until 4pm cos i have a head cold & besides that i just want to move its like the battle of having kids if you say youll wait til you have kids; you want a house & its upgrades and then a boat itll never happen the oz $ might lower & itslike cellotape it ends it looses its stickiness with age last monday was meant to b xmas at his rents but his dad cancelled cos he was sick (w/out telling anyone so they cooked ham etc & we never showed) then it was today but his mom wasnt there cos she had to work, (how convenient)so it was celebrate jsut present giving but they didnt have anything for me like they said they didnt know what to get me but they could have got me nic nacs or even asked their son so his dad ran upstairs & took $100 out of their safe & put it in a card for me did they expect me not to come back? their were bets at chris'' work on if id come back should i not have? his dad looked at the photos we took and didnt even care to ask who the people were & he was jsut looking at the angles & the focus of chris shots the wedding pics were looked at & commented on oh you did it again did you? like no one knew? no one was told repeatedly about it like our relationship was a gamble? a waste of time if everyone questions it then why is it so real? to go out & be single is so far & distant but almost questioed why that isnt real & this is i know im homesick i feel it everyday & i let it eat at me but.... itll take chris a year to get a visa & itll take methe same year still to go for our final interview & at first chris said we can jsut fly back for it & that we should jdut go now but we both know & have agreed that thats not viable i look at chris parents & know thats what he bases our marriage rules on & they are fuct up his mom got back with his dad whilst we were gone cos i think she felt alone & was in financial difficulty cos of the divorce lawyers but marriage should never be based on money but on love i have that love but im scared chris (& me i guess) is sidetracked by money inside somewhere is a strong person i know its still ther e& to everyone on the outside its there to but i think its lost insdie me. i believe in us i really do but if everyone else doubts it then what is the point i watched gi jane tonight & saw a strength in another woman that i would like to have not that a woman should be equal to a man but that i should have drive in life that is out there some where where did it go or is it still there but im jsut sad right now so im clouded over in self pity? the truth is that even though im homesick i know nothing in perth with change that much anyway i dont want to get old though & miss out on those small changes i felt at home & alive when i went back i felt refreshed & real i dont here i feel like a face in a crowd one of my biggest fears i think i need to find that again b4 a part inside of turns into the part that now rules chris' moms life i dont want to jsut put up with shit i want to be happy & in love & living life to the fullest like i always thought i would kat says that she never thought id get married b4 her i never did either but these things happen but is it happening cos im learning a lesson or is it jsut on hold until i find it again its like someones rubbed me in anaesthetic & i cant talk out but that someone is me doing it to myself, i need a job a good one & then ill be happy happy to myself anyway cos then i can cloud my self materially :/ as i said b4 my love is real & i dont want to be fake plasticc money signs but why does it rule my life or does it? would i be happier in oz with out it? i was b4 what is the tug inside really all about im so confused i jsut want my mum how sad maternal ties lie ever deep inside i think ill have another cigarette & go to bed the book i am reading running in heels prolly isnt helping, its about an anorexic who you learn to have a love/hate relationship with cos you can see herslef beating helself up but you dont know why & then you find out shes an anorexic & you feels sorry for her & then chris being so tactfull puts on my pj pants & says they dont fit. a fat person made them big gee i wonder who or is cos they were from 1997 and the elastic is breaking my subconscious knows the truth but my current sphycy tells me different " i feel like slugs and snails" | ||
| Tuesday, November 27th, 2001 | |||
| 2:08 am | shes a good mum i just get easily shorted out when they have other things to do cos i treasure talking to them i love them :*( | ||
