Wednesday, March 24
"He's a very dog to the commonalty".
Tony Blair is finished. Says who? Me. No, I've been saying that since he started. No, it's Polly Toynbee!
"Often accused of crowd-pleasing, now he stands more like Coriolanus before the tribunes, too proud to bend to those who would be content with a few signs that he belongs to them. But he will not. It's no longer political stratagem or third-way policy, but sheer obstinacy. This may do him in if Labour voters sulk in their tents or abscond to the Lib Dems".
Nature teaches beasts to know their friends.
"The penance he owes for the terrible error of Iraq is now to bow to them a little. Which of his cabinet will tell him to? Many say so in private".
Let me have war, say I; it exceeds peace as far as day does night; it's spritely, waking, audible, and full of vent. Peace is a very apoplexy, lethargy: mulled, deaf, sleepy, insensible; a getter of more bastard children than war's a destroyer of men!
"There is a greater, more intangible foe - cynicism itself, the MRSA of politics which once caught is not easily cured. Since the war, cynicism has turned to a nihilism that poisons everything. It festers in a defeated Tory press, whose only power in exile is to spread corrosive messages that nothing works, all tax is always wasted, all government is a vain endeavour, and the public sector is a bone-idle wastrel. Once inhaled, the germs of cynicism are breathed out wherever people congregate. It smothers the unprecedented economic well-being. It forgets the past and suggests, against all the evidence, that things always get worse".
You common cry of curs! whose breath I hate
As reek o' the rotten fens, whose loves I prize
As the dead carcases of unburied men
That do corrupt my air,--I banish you.
"It is an alarmingly short time to the general election".
Like a dull actor now,
I have forgot my part, and I am out,
Even to a full disgrace.
"Meanwhile, a June annihilation at the polls beckons, followed by storms over ratifying the new EU constitution. To fight for Labour and for his own political life, Tony Blair now needs new and unfamiliar weapons. For if the real fight is against cynicism, the only effective weapons are shining values".
They threw their caps
As they would hang them on the horns o' the moon,
Shouting their emulation.
Tony Blair is finished. Says who? Me. No, I've been saying that since he started. No, it's Polly Toynbee!
"Often accused of crowd-pleasing, now he stands more like Coriolanus before the tribunes, too proud to bend to those who would be content with a few signs that he belongs to them. But he will not. It's no longer political stratagem or third-way policy, but sheer obstinacy. This may do him in if Labour voters sulk in their tents or abscond to the Lib Dems".
Nature teaches beasts to know their friends.
"The penance he owes for the terrible error of Iraq is now to bow to them a little. Which of his cabinet will tell him to? Many say so in private".
Let me have war, say I; it exceeds peace as far as day does night; it's spritely, waking, audible, and full of vent. Peace is a very apoplexy, lethargy: mulled, deaf, sleepy, insensible; a getter of more bastard children than war's a destroyer of men!
"There is a greater, more intangible foe - cynicism itself, the MRSA of politics which once caught is not easily cured. Since the war, cynicism has turned to a nihilism that poisons everything. It festers in a defeated Tory press, whose only power in exile is to spread corrosive messages that nothing works, all tax is always wasted, all government is a vain endeavour, and the public sector is a bone-idle wastrel. Once inhaled, the germs of cynicism are breathed out wherever people congregate. It smothers the unprecedented economic well-being. It forgets the past and suggests, against all the evidence, that things always get worse".
You common cry of curs! whose breath I hate
As reek o' the rotten fens, whose loves I prize
As the dead carcases of unburied men
That do corrupt my air,--I banish you.
"It is an alarmingly short time to the general election".
Like a dull actor now,
I have forgot my part, and I am out,
Even to a full disgrace.
"Meanwhile, a June annihilation at the polls beckons, followed by storms over ratifying the new EU constitution. To fight for Labour and for his own political life, Tony Blair now needs new and unfamiliar weapons. For if the real fight is against cynicism, the only effective weapons are shining values".
They threw their caps
As they would hang them on the horns o' the moon,
Shouting their emulation.
Tuesday, March 23
"It doesn't take an awful lot of courage to murder a paraplegic in a wheelchair".
Muses the Indy's fabled foreign correspondent, Robert Fisk. Yes, but it's a lot easier. I mean, there's none of that running off and hiding in a spiderhole you associate with other ne'er-do-wells. I wonder who's next, though: Robert Wyatt? Stephen Hawking? The latter wouldn't be so easy, especially if he reconsiders, in the light of yesterday's Yassassination, selling one of these.
Muses the Indy's fabled foreign correspondent, Robert Fisk. Yes, but it's a lot easier. I mean, there's none of that running off and hiding in a spiderhole you associate with other ne'er-do-wells. I wonder who's next, though: Robert Wyatt? Stephen Hawking? The latter wouldn't be so easy, especially if he reconsiders, in the light of yesterday's Yassassination, selling one of these.
Monday, March 22
The Blogger Formerly Known as Junius Chris Bertram has been getting all steamed up about the attempt by the Guardian to turn some obscure philosopher into some sort of satanist. Matt Cavanagh, author of The Case Against Equal Opportunity, is now giving the benefit of his no doubt considerable advice to David 'Swampy' Blunkett, and the Guardian thinks this is a bad thing. As does Labour Backbencher, David Winnick, who thinks that anyone who questions the consensus is "psychotic".
Yet reading this interview with Cavanagh, what struck me, other than the paranoia, tentativeness and incoherence one usually associates with academics, was this phrase from the writer John Crace, as he summed up his meeting:
"Rather than taking on the reactionary I had expected, I was left feeling I had done 15 rounds with a natural born contrarian".
That tells us quite a lot more about Crace than it does about Cavanagh, I reckon.
A month later, Ben Rogers, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research no less, gets to discuss the whole thing, and describes Cavanagh as a "right-winger". Yet in his interview Cavanagh goes out of his way to denounce the free market.
You see, they can't really help it, can they? I don't know what the root cause of the problem is exactly: homelessness, lousy education, maybe they were all molested when they were children, but if this passes for free, rigorous intellectual debate than I thank the stars I really am right-winger. Imagine being a left-winger, and having to deal with this kind of name-calling. Subtle distinctions aren't really their thing, are they?
Yet reading this interview with Cavanagh, what struck me, other than the paranoia, tentativeness and incoherence one usually associates with academics, was this phrase from the writer John Crace, as he summed up his meeting:
"Rather than taking on the reactionary I had expected, I was left feeling I had done 15 rounds with a natural born contrarian".
That tells us quite a lot more about Crace than it does about Cavanagh, I reckon.
A month later, Ben Rogers, a senior research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research no less, gets to discuss the whole thing, and describes Cavanagh as a "right-winger". Yet in his interview Cavanagh goes out of his way to denounce the free market.
You see, they can't really help it, can they? I don't know what the root cause of the problem is exactly: homelessness, lousy education, maybe they were all molested when they were children, but if this passes for free, rigorous intellectual debate than I thank the stars I really am right-winger. Imagine being a left-winger, and having to deal with this kind of name-calling. Subtle distinctions aren't really their thing, are they?
All right. What's wrong with this idea for reforming the House of Lords? Of course, ideally, we'd all just banish the appointed ones and leave it up to the hereditaries, but that isn't on the table. And the voting system is less important than deciding what kind of people you want in there in the first place. Nonetheless, this came to me in a blinding flash. Clearly, there must be something wrong with it.
We each get two votes, of equal weight. Add them all up, and which ever candidate comes first goes to the Commons. Which ever comes second goes to the Lords. Simple!
At first glance it would look like each party would just double the number of its candidates, and you'd then get the exact same breakdown for each constituency. Thus, in each Labour-voting constituency, you'd just get first and second Labour, every time. But would it always happen like this? Wouldn't many voters use their second vote on a less partisan ticket, voting say for the more experienced, and perhaps the more maverick person. Also, I think it would discourage tactical voting a bit, which is the one defect of First Past the Post. You'd use your first vote for the candidate you really wanted, and the second vote for someone perhaps not of your party. Not always, but sometimes. Moreover, some third or fourth places parties would, I imagine, only put up one candidate, hoping to cream off a lot of second choices, and not wanting to split its vote. Provided the Lords was seen as a lesser chamber - less pay, and less authority - then you could have some interesting results. Perhaps Portillo might have come second in 1997 and been sent off to the Lords, rather than out of politics altogether. That sort of thing.
It's got to be better than Billy Bragg, anyway.
We each get two votes, of equal weight. Add them all up, and which ever candidate comes first goes to the Commons. Which ever comes second goes to the Lords. Simple!
At first glance it would look like each party would just double the number of its candidates, and you'd then get the exact same breakdown for each constituency. Thus, in each Labour-voting constituency, you'd just get first and second Labour, every time. But would it always happen like this? Wouldn't many voters use their second vote on a less partisan ticket, voting say for the more experienced, and perhaps the more maverick person. Also, I think it would discourage tactical voting a bit, which is the one defect of First Past the Post. You'd use your first vote for the candidate you really wanted, and the second vote for someone perhaps not of your party. Not always, but sometimes. Moreover, some third or fourth places parties would, I imagine, only put up one candidate, hoping to cream off a lot of second choices, and not wanting to split its vote. Provided the Lords was seen as a lesser chamber - less pay, and less authority - then you could have some interesting results. Perhaps Portillo might have come second in 1997 and been sent off to the Lords, rather than out of politics altogether. That sort of thing.
It's got to be better than Billy Bragg, anyway.
Sunday, March 21
Ultrabuttocked songbird Kylie is going to get married! Or so says her equally callipygian sibling Dannii:
"They've been thinking of Paris, Sydney and Barbados, but it's probably going to be where it's the hottest.
"Kylie has told her friends in the US and our family at home but that's it. This is the happiest I've seen her—they really suit each other.
"They've been trying to find the right time. Then one minute they were having dinner and the next she came out with it and he said yes."
And the pint-sized popstar also wants to start breeding:
"It's not too late. But obviously a woman my age can't help but think about those things.
"I'm asked about it all the time. And I never have a straight answer."
She just can't get it out of her head. I hope she does soon too. Otherwise we'll have to put up with her quasi-religious meanderings a good while yet. A few sprogs ought to shut her up.
"They've been thinking of Paris, Sydney and Barbados, but it's probably going to be where it's the hottest.
"Kylie has told her friends in the US and our family at home but that's it. This is the happiest I've seen her—they really suit each other.
"They've been trying to find the right time. Then one minute they were having dinner and the next she came out with it and he said yes."
And the pint-sized popstar also wants to start breeding:
"It's not too late. But obviously a woman my age can't help but think about those things.
"I'm asked about it all the time. And I never have a straight answer."
She just can't get it out of her head. I hope she does soon too. Otherwise we'll have to put up with her quasi-religious meanderings a good while yet. A few sprogs ought to shut her up.
Friday, March 19
Today the Old Bailey, tomorrow Downing Street!
UPDATE: Okay, tomorrow might be pushing it, but how about October? A breathless nation awaits its salvation. Can anything stop the Galloway juggernaut?
UPDATE: Okay, tomorrow might be pushing it, but how about October? A breathless nation awaits its salvation. Can anything stop the Galloway juggernaut?
From Danny Boyle, the director of apocalyptic zombie flick 28 Days Later..., comes a new film whose premise is so horrifying it will tingle your spine, chill your blood, and send you flying behind the sofa screeching "I want my Mummy". Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Millions.
Thursday, March 18
“I believe I have lived before, but I’m not very advanced in my series of lives. I’m not even into double figures. I don’t have a visual memory of my past lives, but I believe I came from somewhere.”
Claims ultrabuttocked songbird Kylie Minogue.
“From experiences with the deceased and with the sixth sense there must be much more than the here-and-now. I believe in a universal power.
“I think we’re very early in the evolutionary scale. We don’t use a fraction of our brains yet. To be honest, mine is on economy some days.
“The soul is the endlessness of our beings. The soul is infinite and we’re just passing through.”
Continues the pint-sized popstar.
“God is either a universal energy outside of us or a life force within us. Or both.”
Or maybe neither. Which of us can say?
Claims ultrabuttocked songbird Kylie Minogue.
“From experiences with the deceased and with the sixth sense there must be much more than the here-and-now. I believe in a universal power.
“I think we’re very early in the evolutionary scale. We don’t use a fraction of our brains yet. To be honest, mine is on economy some days.
“The soul is the endlessness of our beings. The soul is infinite and we’re just passing through.”
Continues the pint-sized popstar.
“God is either a universal energy outside of us or a life force within us. Or both.”
Or maybe neither. Which of us can say?
"Hostility to outsiders is one of the ugliest emotions to be found in human societies. Sometimes it simmers below the surface, at other times it wells up in a torrent of hatred. One thing is constant: it is founded on ignorance".
Or so says the Indy. I'm not so sure myself. If you'd asked me five years ago whether I'd like to live next to say, Osama Bin Laden, I might well have said "Who?" Nowadays, being a bit more educated and up to speed on the world's greatest psycho, I'd have to say "No". I'd say my hostility would be founded on knowledge. The Indy, presumably, would regard me as a bit of a bigot, and a moronic one at that. And a lot of people would agree: it's just been proclaimed Newspaper of the Year.
"The Independent's approach to the war in Iraq meant it was already having a good year even before its mould-breaking revamp,"
comes the gushing justification. I really am out of step with the modern world, I suppose.
Or so says the Indy. I'm not so sure myself. If you'd asked me five years ago whether I'd like to live next to say, Osama Bin Laden, I might well have said "Who?" Nowadays, being a bit more educated and up to speed on the world's greatest psycho, I'd have to say "No". I'd say my hostility would be founded on knowledge. The Indy, presumably, would regard me as a bit of a bigot, and a moronic one at that. And a lot of people would agree: it's just been proclaimed Newspaper of the Year.
"The Independent's approach to the war in Iraq meant it was already having a good year even before its mould-breaking revamp,"
comes the gushing justification. I really am out of step with the modern world, I suppose.
Wednesday, March 17
It's budget day, and, as Gordon Brown prepares to announce new and exciting ways of spending other people's money, the Guardian is worried about the fainthearts:
"Those who feel Labour is unsupportable because of Iraq should pay attention today. The war was premature, wrong and counterproductive. But the economic prosperity is part of the story too. It is the foundation of everything that millions of less well-off Labour voters want from the government. Without it, there would be none of the taxes and none of the investment in modern public services that is the backbone and moral purpose of any progressive government worthy of the name".
So, we may be being governed by a bunch of war criminals, but in the scheme of things, what's that compared to a few extra pennies on health and education? That's progress for you. Polly, as is her way, is a little more upbeat, even if her sub-editor can't spell 'unaccustomed':
"This is Gordon Brown's day, as he delivers his eighth budget, for which he will earn well-deserved praise. He always does, for he is a brilliant budgeteer who trounces all critics - for at least a day. He always brings that welcome reminder of Britain's unaccostumed economic success under his stewardship, unknown in our political lifetime. There will be something for everyone and plenty to please his own party in sore need of comfort".
Something for everyone? And all must win prizes.
"The prospect of Labour losing is too terrible to contemplate".
She claims, speaking, of course, for everyone.
"And Tony Blair still has the edge as best leader with the voters, according to the Guardian ICM polls. Seventy-three per cent of those who voted Labour still support Blair and the war. If they vote, that's enough for a good victory. If they vote".
Is it? If Labour lost over a quarter of its vote would it really still win the next election? You do the math.
"There's much the government could do better. Its messages this second term have been a disaster, even if rolling out the delivery has continued apace. But those who want a Labour government - even if they want a different/better one - need to start appreciating the one they've got instead of collaborating with the enemy to tear it down".
And who exactly is the enemy here? Al-Qaeda? Nah. It's them again.
"Michael Howard and Maurice Saatchi are formidable foes - and formidably nasty".
You have been warned.
"Those who feel Labour is unsupportable because of Iraq should pay attention today. The war was premature, wrong and counterproductive. But the economic prosperity is part of the story too. It is the foundation of everything that millions of less well-off Labour voters want from the government. Without it, there would be none of the taxes and none of the investment in modern public services that is the backbone and moral purpose of any progressive government worthy of the name".
So, we may be being governed by a bunch of war criminals, but in the scheme of things, what's that compared to a few extra pennies on health and education? That's progress for you. Polly, as is her way, is a little more upbeat, even if her sub-editor can't spell 'unaccustomed':
"This is Gordon Brown's day, as he delivers his eighth budget, for which he will earn well-deserved praise. He always does, for he is a brilliant budgeteer who trounces all critics - for at least a day. He always brings that welcome reminder of Britain's unaccostumed economic success under his stewardship, unknown in our political lifetime. There will be something for everyone and plenty to please his own party in sore need of comfort".
Something for everyone? And all must win prizes.
"The prospect of Labour losing is too terrible to contemplate".
She claims, speaking, of course, for everyone.
"And Tony Blair still has the edge as best leader with the voters, according to the Guardian ICM polls. Seventy-three per cent of those who voted Labour still support Blair and the war. If they vote, that's enough for a good victory. If they vote".
Is it? If Labour lost over a quarter of its vote would it really still win the next election? You do the math.
"There's much the government could do better. Its messages this second term have been a disaster, even if rolling out the delivery has continued apace. But those who want a Labour government - even if they want a different/better one - need to start appreciating the one they've got instead of collaborating with the enemy to tear it down".
And who exactly is the enemy here? Al-Qaeda? Nah. It's them again.
"Michael Howard and Maurice Saatchi are formidable foes - and formidably nasty".
You have been warned.
