Wednesday, February 27th, 2002
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7:19 pm - i watch too much tv and now i am sad
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at about 4pm today just as A was leaving for duty, we were watching the news and the chp was on the news talking of a burned body.
then they were saying it was of a small female child. i wanted to cry because most likely it is the body of Danielle Van Dam. the little girl that was kidnapped from her bed in her home on Feb 1st. this really made me want to vomit.
Friday the police arrested the neighbor and prime suspect, David Westerfield and charged him with kid napping and added murder during a kidnapping witch is a capital crime. and punishable by death or life in prison. personally if the body is that of the little Van Dam girl and he really did do it. i hope they do put him in the electric chair of what ever the death penalty is here.
they found her blood on Mr. Westerfields clothes and in his motorhome. and child pornography in his home. people like that sicken me.
i wish there was something i could do but i know there is nothing. also another thing that bothers me .. Mr. Westerfield has two children of his own.
and then A and i were parusing the channels and saw on Maury stuff about nannies beatin little babies and kicking them and throwing them off the couch on to the floor. and i am again reminded why i don't have a realy job.
i honestly am losing faith in the human race. i dont understand why people hurt children. and if they hate them so much why take on a job caring for them. it makes no sence to me. and if they hate them so much why have them and bring them into this world. I wish people realized how precious a gift those tiny creaters are.
*sigh*
current mood: disheartened by the human race
current music: pod youth of a nation
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(6 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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5:52 pm - hahahhahahah yeah right
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my hororscope for today
Dear Nikki,
A visit to a brother, sister, or neighbor could allow you to make a new friend today, Nikki, probably someone who works in a creative profession using modern technology. If you're currently involved romantically, this person could become your best friend. However, if you're presently unattached, don't be surprised if sparks fly between you and your new friend. You could talk for hours, and part unwillingly. Exchange phone numbers and email addresses! You'll be glad you did
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(Reach For The Stars)
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Monday, February 25th, 2002
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1:14 pm - let me just say this
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i hate living in navy housing. the toilette we have had trouble with since we moved in almost a year ago is acting up. looks like they have to take the whole thing out tomorrow. right now as i sit and type about how much i hate this establishment that is supposed to have a fenced in yard and doesn't. the toilette sits full to the brim of nasty water full of crap,
i hate this place.
at first site i loved the house but there are just too many problems with this housing . they wont spray for bugs. they wont put a fence up so that the neighbors hoodlums will stay out of my yard and quit using it as a short cut to the path. I can't let the kids out to play while i clean because there is no fence and they could wander away and even get down to the I 15. we are the ony family in housing that doesn't have a fence. on more than one occassion i have had to call housing office because stupid fuck wad kids have scribbled curse words on my windows. or they like to look in our windows. they take things off of our patio. so we can't leave anything outside that we don't want stolen. we have ants, spiders and i wouldn't be suprized if we had roaches. we have doors that don't close right infact they don't latch at all. the front door doesn't fit right. i guess the idots that built the place didn't know what a level was because there is a quarter of an inch crack at the top of the door. i have woken up in the morning to find huge ass foot prints leading from an open door that lead to the stairs. they wont do anything about it. I HATE THIS PLACE.
oh yeah and there is a possibility that they are going to start charging us rent for this hole.
current mood:  aggravated
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(5 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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7:07 am - awwww
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Sunday, February 24th, 2002
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12:09 pm
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it was a long niht last night. A and i went to bed at around 9 he got home at 7. and at 12:30 Cai woke up puking. i had a feeling it was gonna happen. so we were up for about and hour and half cleaning up the mess and bathing him. I feel so bad for him.. he has never been sick like that before and it really scared him.. then i had to be up at 5 to be to work at 5:30.
i am really tired and have no idea why i am awake when the kids are all down for naps.
it was a good day at work tho. i didn't work with the rude bitch today. i worked with some of my fave people Mike and little sara.. Sara and i are gonna try to do a picninc lunch with my kids next sunday at balboa park.
ok i am gonna go take a nap before i fall through the desk due to extreem exhaustion.
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(3 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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Saturday, February 23rd, 2002
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6:28 pm
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i have deleted folks from my list . i just felt a loss of connection with them and i didn't think it fair to keep them there. doesn't mean i wont look in on them every now and again. just ask  corto that . but he was removed due to family things not because i really wanted to. he is a great guy.
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(17 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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6:10 pm - a bit of ramble
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i wonder where my husband is. he left while i was trying to take a nap but i didn't get one becaue the kids were loud and running through the halls.
cai has the bug that is going around and i think i do too.
i feel bad for him tho. he has been in and out of the bathroom since i got home. and he told me his belly hurts. poor lil bug.
aiji has told me three times since nap that she has had to go pottie so tomorrow i am going to go and buy her some big girl panties:) i am a happy mommy cause that means i am very close to only having one child in diapers. do you know how much money we will save? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH i long for the day when we need not diapers. oh yes i do. i long for the day when i no longer have to deal with anyones poop but my own. awww that is a thing i look forward to with eagerness yes it is.
current mood:  blah
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(1 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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Friday, February 22nd, 2002
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6:39 pm
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2:14 pm - my #15
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welli am coping Hill here and gonna talk about one of the biggest most committed sweet hearts that i have had the opprotunity to come across.
hoorah he is a quiet loving man. He is a father that is a great roll modle for all dads that can't be with their children. He is a loving husband. and i am very happy that i have met him . even tho he is a quiet guy and hardly ever posts here or in pj.
Matt thank you for being you and my friend
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(Reach For The Stars)
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1:16 pm - arrgg balthena
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for the fourth time in the last half hour some one has called the house and hung up when they hear my voice. do you know how annoying this is. i wish that our caller id and *69 weren't on hold .. grrr
so to them i say
have some fucking balls you moran.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: ani defranco~Amazin Grace
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(8 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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8:17 am
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nothing like waking up to check your email and you have twenty emails only four or sow of wich have anything to do with you.
i think i might be making it so that if you aren't on my friends list you can't post in my journal. i hate to do that because normally i like to get an outsider opinion but DAMN
anyway on to the news
it is hot as fucking balls here this morning. it is only 8:13 and it feels like it is damn near 78 out side. can you say trip to the park today?
( TMI )
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(5 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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Thursday, February 21st, 2002
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9:30 pm - testing
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6:36 pm
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ivy is teaching me spanish and krista is making my journal all pretty :)
i am a happy girl
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(Reach For The Stars)
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6:01 pm - yay a new journal
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11:32 am - FTW
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i refuse to ever make plans for a trip again. i need to have time alone. i need it and the navy has to go and fuck that up too.
i hate the navy i hate it i hate it i hate it.
so i have to post pone my trip till either mid april or may.
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(2 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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8:19 am - funny of the day
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The Worth of Viagra
An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when
a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal
in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.
"No, not worth it!"
"OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"
"No, not worth it!"
"OK, 20?"
"No, not worth it!"
"How about 10?"
"No, not worth it!"
"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you
say they are not worth it?"
"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."
Act Your Age...
A 6'4'' ninth grader was acting up in class.
His teacher looked at him and said, ''Act your age,
not your shoe size''.
The boy looks down at his size 14 shoes, then says,
''But they're the same.''
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(1 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2002
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12:26 pm - a vaction is in the near future
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ia m in a very delightful mood today. been thinking about my trip home coming up and how it will be just me. i am very excited about it but at the same time i keep thinking i should be taking at least one of my kids. but that destroys the purpose of my trip. this trip is supposed to be a rejuvination trip. a break a relaxer from the kids so that i can mentally prepare to being alone 24/7 for six months with them with absolutely no help.
but still the prospect of hanging out with my friends like old times is very warming, but sad at the same time because my bestest friend wont be there. my brother is whom i am speaking of. but i'll have my other two. and we will have a BLAST livin it up.
aww to be free and wild for a change.
oh and here is a note to a certain some one
you ask me to smoke out and i will slap your face:oP
current mood:  excited
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(3 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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Tuesday, February 19th, 2002
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3:36 pm - hrmm what to do what to do
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i think i am going to be losing my job soon. aaron will be gone a lot with in the next few months and i haven't found an afordable or reliable daycare so i can't work when he is gone. so i have been seriously thinking about doing some of those mail stuffer jobs from home but i don't know if i would really make any money at it. and i don't know how reliable they really are. i know that i need to be bringing in money some how but how is the thing that is bothering me. i know i need money coming in when A is gone and i need to do something so i don't waste away.
*sigh* so i am seriously thinking about doing this.
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(7 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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12:01 pm - thank you kristen
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The Yellow Roses
This is good: I walked into the grocery store not particularly interested in buying groceries. I wasn't hungry. The pain of losing my husband of 37 years was still too raw. And this grocery store held so many sweet memories. Rudy often came with me and almost every time he'd pretend to go off and look for something special. I knew what he was up to. He'd always spot him walking down the aisle with the three yellow roses in his hands. Rudy knew I loved yellow roses. With a heart filled with grief,
I only wanted to buy my few items and leave, but even grocery shopping was different since Rudy had passed on. Shopping for one took time, a little more thought than it had for two. Standing by the meat, I searched for the perfect small steak and remembered how Rudy had loved his steak. Suddenly a woman came beside me. She was blonde, slim and lovely in a soft green pantsuit. I watched as she picked up a large pack of T-bones, dropped them in her basket, hesitated, and then put them back. She turned to go and once again reached for the pack of steaks. She saw me watching her and she smiled "My husband loves T-bones, but honestly, at these prices, I don't know" I swallowed the emotion down my throat and met her pale blue eyes. "My husband passed away eight days ago," I told her. Glancing at the package in her hands, I fought to control the tremble in my voice.
"Buy him the steaks. And cherish every moment you have together." She shook her head and I saw the emotion in her eyes as she placed the package in her basket and wheeled away.
I turned and pushed my cart across the length of the store to the
dairy products. There I stood, trying to decide which size milk I should buy. Quart, I finally decided and moved on to the ice cream section near the front of the store. If nothing else, I could always fix myself an ice
cream cone. I placed the ice cream in my cart and looked down the aisle toward the front. I saw first the green suit, then recognized the
pretty lady coming towards me. In her arms she carried a package. On her face was the brightest smile I had ever seen. I would swear a soft halo encircled her blonde hair as she kept walking toward me, her eyes holding mine. As she came closer, I saw what she held and tears began misting in my eyes. "These are for you," she said and placed three beautiful long stemmed yellow roses in my arms. "When you go through the line, they will know these are paid for." She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on my
cheek, then smiled again. I wanted to tell her what she'd done, what the roses meant, but still unable to speak, I watched as she walked away as
tears clouded my vision. I looked down at the beautiful roses nestled in the green tissue wrapping and found it almost unreal. How did she know? Suddenly the answer seemed so clear. I wasn't alone. "Oh, Rudy, you haven't forgotten me, have you? I whispered, with tears in my eyes. He was still with me, and
she was his angel.
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(4 Stars Touched | Reach For The Stars)
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9:42 am
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i am getting off my fat ass today and taking the kids to the park. they need to get out and run around just like i do
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(Reach For The Stars)
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loved
artistic