The Wayback Machine - http://web.archive.org/web/20040829024310/http://www.livejournal.com:80/users/tabbi_cakes/

Tabatha's Journal

It's My Life


January 16th, 2004

(no subject) @ 08:13 am

I have decided once again to make my posts friends only.

Comment if you wish to be added, but remember I cannot add everyone, so feel free to read through my past entries.

 

January 15th, 2004

(no subject) @ 08:58 am

Last night was pretty good. After I left the house of course. Mike and I went to Ruby Tuesday's and ate until our guts were about to burst. It was good. We were going to have a Chocolate Tall Cake, but we were too full so we decided on the Short Cake instead.

Then we went to Lauren's. I don't think she really realizes how much I appreciate her letting me stay over there. I know I am getting on her nerves. She has been so helpful to me, letting me escape the hell house. But I hope she does realize how much I love her and James and how much I appreciate them letting me stay in their theater1.


Lauren!! Check this out.



1 They turned Meredith's old room into a small movie theater. James bought black cloth and put it over the walls to black them out. There are two futon couches lined up. The back one is elevated by bricks as to make stadium seating. He even bought some rope lights to be like the floor lights in the theater. The big TV is in there, along with my DVD player/home theater system, Mike's X-box, a VCR, and another DVD player. It is awesome.

 

January 14th, 2004

(no subject) @ 03:07 pm

I am going to the crazy people place tomorrow. Aiken Barnwell Mental Health Building. Hopefully they will just tell me that I don't need to talk to a therapist and send me home. I really hate this.


*edit*

I am not going because I have to work. I thought I could go to the place between 11:15 and 1. Actually I have to be there at 10:45 and fill out paper work, then wait, then go see the shrink. I have class every day until 11, so I really don't want to go. I hate missing class.

Dad just informed me that if I don't go to this place by next Thursday then I will have a month to move out. And he wonders why he and I don't get along. He tries to bully me into doing things. It is really a control issue. If I move out, I am not coming back to this hell house. I would rather live on the street then to live with him any longer.

 

January 12th, 2004

(no subject) @ 09:03 am

I hate doing these quick updates on Monday morning.

Mike got into a fight Friday with Bryan. Mike found Lauren's stolen computer in the closet. It went downhill from there. I have been taking care of his eye. Apparently Bryan went to bitch-slap Mike, and caught him with his nasty ass fingernail. Sliced his eyelid open. He is okay tho.

Sat and Sunday were pretty much lazy days. Sitting around Lauren's taking up space. Mike cooked dinner Saturday. Steak and potatoes.

School now. Yay!

 

January 9th, 2004

(no subject) @ 02:50 pm

Well I get to go see a therapist next week. I am not to sure if I want to do that or not. The only real thing bothering me is my father-mike situation. That's not much to talk about.

It is depressing me. If I have more than a few minutes of "down" time when I am not doing anything, I cry. I just want to lay in bed and never get up. I need my own place. This sucks. I hate feeling this way all the time.

Remember, I use to be happy. I use to enjoy life. Now I just want to get away, run away. Leave everything behind.

 

(no subject) @ 08:46 am

My father has to be the hardest person in the world to get along with. At least I know where I get my argument skills from. He is an asshole. I cannot wait until I am out of that house.


On the way to work he wanted to talk about the Mike situation. (Yeah.. it has a name now.) He started in on it again, and I told him I didn't want to talk about it. It would ruin my day. He said "And no one cares if my day is ruined." Get over yourself. So he talked about it anyway. I don't really want to get into what was said, just the same old bullshit over and over. My father is never, ever wrong. Do not ever try to tell him that. You will be on his shit list for good.

Does anyone have a couch I can sleep on until I find my own place? I am pretty clean and I don't have fleas.

I really hate my life right now. I would never kill myself or do anything stupid like that, but I do think that it would alot easier if one morning I didn't wake up.

 

January 8th, 2004

(no subject) @ 09:38 pm

Night class sucks. Well it's not that bad. I'm just tired from school this morning until 11, working from 11 to 5, class from 6-8:50, then my dad's shit. He emailed me back. I guess my email pissed him off. Oh fucking well. He needs to get over himself.

 

January 7th, 2004

First Day of Spring 2004 Semester @ 10:31 pm

Current Mood: depressed

Everything went pretty well. crZlaurenLauren is in two of my classes. She is in Visual Basic Programming and Internet Scripting (JavaScript). We learned how to do alerts today in JavaScript! Yay!

After school I went to work. It was basically hell. Mike and Gail had to take their 4 children to pre-op. Next week they are all getting their tonsils removed and the triplets are getting tubes put in their ears. We were extremely busy, and extremely short handed. Tiffany is still learning the register, so she is still kind of slow. I was serving. CeeCee was cooking. One person would order a grilled chicken sandwich. I would walk to the back (kitchen area) and tell CeeCee I needed a chicken sandwich. Then I would walk back out front and the next person would tell me they wanted a chicken sandwich. So I would have to walk back. (See a pattern yet?) This happened about 6 times. It was very aggravating, because people were getting impatient. We were all going as fast as we could, but it wasn't fast enough for the damn students.

After work I went home. Mike picked me up at about 4:30 pm. We hung out for a little bit. I got my ring back from the jewellers. It fits now!! At about 8 pm Travis, his brother Ryan, Mike, and I were all bored and tried to find something to do. We decided to go to my house. All of you know that Mike isn't allowed here. I decided to make stand.

I told everyone to wait in the car while I talked to my mom. I told her that Mike, Ryan and Travis were going to come in. Mom said "You know your dad doesn't want Mike here." So we had a little discussion about how I thought it was childish for my dad to act the way he does about Mike. Well mom wasn't budging so I said "I will just tell them to leave" and I burst out into tears. Not just tears, more like a waterfall of tears. So many tears that my brother had to hug me to calm me down.

Finally I calmed down and Mom said they could come in until 10. That is when dad gets up for work.

My parents just don't understand how much stress they cause me. They are the reason I am sick all the time. Too much stress can kill someone!! I am constantly giving people gas money, I have to plan for Mike to pick me up when Dad is asleep. Just knowing that my dad hates the man I love tears a big hole in my heart. And knowing that he hates him for no good reason rips it apart. I am always crying. I cry myself to sleep all the time. So I emailed him.

the email )

I really do think I could benefit from seeing a therapist. It would be nice to talk to someone who is independent of the situation that would have an unbiased opinion. I could get so much stuff off my chest. Sigh.

I really miss the days when Mike would come over and we would sit in my room and talk and watch TV and build web pages and look for Ford Probes on E-bay. Hopefully we will be able to have those days again soon.
 

January 6th, 2004

(no subject) @ 05:41 pm

Most common side affects of Zithromax


  1. stomach pains

  2. loose stools

  3. nausea



Guess which 2 I have.
 

(no subject) @ 03:21 pm

Time for yet another bubble bath. It is the only thing that passes the time.

 

Tabatha's Journal

It's My Life