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May 7th, 2004
01:27 pm - Curefest!
The Cure is touring soon! Whee!
New album comes out june 29th.
bands that are confirmed: Interpol, Rapture, Mogwai, AFI, Muse, Thursday, Cursive, Melissa Auf Der Maur, Cooper Temple Clause and Head Automatica
The official list will be announced this monday.
A lot of bands that Austin likes are playing: AFI, Thursday, and i assume he will like cursive (close friends with thursday).
Current Music: the cure
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May 4th, 2004
02:00 am - Interesting
I will talk about Coachella and Jane Goodall soon. My thoughts are still organizing. But for now, I will say that the experience was worth it, and both nights were extremely amazing!
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April 28th, 2004
12:24 pm - "I saw the sun, when i opened up my eyes" --one of those catchy bands...
In the famous words of Stan Marsh, “holy shit dude!” I fucking aced my philosophy paper! The teacher noted “very well written,” and I got a 150 out of a 150. This is the first paper that I got back where the teacher only wrote positive comments on the margins such as “Excellent paraphrasing!” Things are good!
And my Anthro paper i got an 82! which is good considering how difficult the class is. i turned it in 4 minutes late though, so i had 2 points deducted, so i got an 80... BUT! it seems like an easy rewrite, so i may strive towards an A!
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April 21st, 2004
01:14 am - Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to Robert Smith!
still working on my anthro essay...
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April 18th, 2004
05:57 pm - Beliefs
I am tired.
And (Words…)
A belief can get you into all sorts of troubles…
- Hints towards agnosticism -
“He who truly believes that which prompts him to and action has looked upon the action to lust after it; he has committed it already in his heart.”
“Every time we let ourselves believe for unworthy reasons, we weaken our powers of self-control, of doubting, of judicially and fairly weighing evidence. “
I. If an individual is aware of evidence against a hypothesis and aware of no good evidence in support of it, and, nevertheless, allows himself to believe it because of some private satisfaction, he has done a wrong.
II. If an individual has no evidence for a belief and no evidence against a belief, it is wrong for him to accept or reject the belief, it is his duty to suspend judgment on the matter and wait for the evidence.
--William Clifford
Current Music: Muse's - "Micro Cuts"
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April 15th, 2004
03:11 am - Visiting Another World - (and came back too soon.)
Another wonderful night spent getting to know somebody. I appreciate moments like these. Meanwhile, I have a lot of school work building. It is safe to say I am fucked. But I had a great night, and right now that is all that matters. I will be able to pull off the two essays that are due this coming week, I will spend all Thursday and Friday.
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April 6th, 2004
09:08 pm - Tomorrow's Forceful Thrust
Last week was a struggle. It was a constant battle with my motivation – I had the opportunity to accomplish small tasks instead I let myself relax – a continuos rest, and at times I would bring myself to organize small portions of my room. Today (Sunday) I decided to dig into the many mp3s that I have on my computer. I am sorting through them all and placing them into various folders – I made one for Austin, named Austin’s Whacky-Daffy folder; He’s done a lot of downloading.. I decided that I really like Beth Gibbon’s (Portishead singer solo project) – so smooth and acoustic.
So here are my more resent plans for Coachella. Sandra and I have been doing some planning – yes, Sandra invited me to go to Coachella with her, little did she know I already had tickets! So her and I naturally merged our plans together – Stephanie, Sandra and I are going to camp out in the grassy section that lies adjacent to the Coachella venue. She has a “huge” tent, In which it will be a lovely sleeping spot. Yes. So far we only have three people in our small group, but we plan to fill two cars up. Todd has been putting the show off.. so I think I will stop trying to persuade him to go.
Random: I saw Sergio driving around Oceanside near my house.. that was .. random.
I need a long break. No work, and no school. I am growing tired – another month will hurt me. It would be nice to come home from a long day.. and just lay back and not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow brings many things, routine schedules, and assignments that are due. I have so many ideas built up in me and there is no time to release them | some words that may describe how i feel - (bottled up, bridled, checked, constrained, curbed, held back, inhibited, repressed, restrained, restricted, smothered, stifled, suppressed). I am continuously doing something to ensure my future.. my tomorrow. I losing out on what is happening now, and what I am feeling now. I can not rest, even during my procrastination fits (which has build up a lot of stress) I am not at rest. To rest in peace. This is not life, surely there is something more. I envision a day to myself - away from home – *sigh* some trees and scenery would be nice – along the coast.. with books and notebooks and a pen - and a blue sky with puffy white clouds.. yes. That would be nice. And no worry or care for what tomorrow will be.
I need to talk to Antonella.
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March 28th, 2004
08:30 pm - A Foolish Mistake
*phew* here i go..
A Foolish Mistake:
Since when did I let people become before Meghan? How come I have these other people built higher than Meghan? I mean – I have let the strangest and the more limited types intrigue me. I haven’t had a better girlfriend than Meghan – she was a lovely person to be with – wonderful to be around. She made me happy.
Now wait: Yes I know Meghan and I had our tissies. We have often fought about trivial things, like a lot of other couples. We for some reason couldn’t talk out or work out our differences.. And now here I am thinking about her, in a way that has slipped me since our bitter end. We have grown farther apart than ever imaginable. But for some reason or another I liked to claim that the crushes I’ve had over the years are more important than what Meghan and I had. Well here I am admitting that I am wrong.
Meghan has been the best girl that I have known, and perhaps the only girl that I’ve had the chance to get to know really well. And I enjoyed getting to know her, and the time we spent together. .It’s a shame that all the memories her and I shared are to now be forgotten. The possibilities for us to create more memories have ceased. I am glad now I can remember her in the fairest and truest way.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not wishing to be back with Meghan. I have just came to a realization that I am fooling myself when I say that other relationships were better. Meghan was a great person, even though I may have hurt her, or even when she had hurt me.
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04:50 am - a sense of love
What is there to say? Is there much to feel? Well I miss talking to Antonella, my own fault, since I let ourselves grow distant… again. I hung out with Sandra tonight and saw the famous jim carrey movie (recommended as a “must see” by Donald Cecil). It was an amazing movie. A movie I find myself relating to. I am very plain full of words that I spill out only in journal entries. Kate Winslet played a great role (a careless women who lives her life to her “fullest”–
The movie reminded me how beautiful love can be. Eh, not like it is ever possible – in the same sense as the movie portrayed. I was smiling throughout the whole movie.
Sandra is a cool person, although I enjoyed her company, I don’t think she enjoyed mine. *shrugs* who knows, we both seemed okay – talking all night in a room – something I value, which others may find too “plain”. Sandra is also going through a tough break up – she claims that I was her psychiatrist for the night.
Stephanie is hurt, I haven’t talked to her yet, but something is up with her and T (her boyfriend) eep.. I wish I was there for her to talk to.
i wish i was in touch with a girl named Teddy. One of those moments that will most likely will never come again.
how do i feel?
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March 22nd, 2004
12:40 pm - I Make Use of All This Time
Friday I talked to Stephanie on the phone till three, she is having issues with her boyfriend, so I was giving her advice.
Saturday I had to wake up early to record my bass lines up in San Diego (for my brothers band). It was a 5-hour process. Afterwards, we rushed down back to Oceanside to play a show. We got paid 250 dollars to play for three hours. Wow, that was tiring! I had a great night, some guy from a record label in LA came up during our set and asked Mike (our singer), “quick, quick, contact number, and nothing else.” My oh my it was a long day, but it was nice.
Sunday I hung out with Stephanie at her house from 1pm to 11pm. We jammed the cure’s “faith” on two acoustic guitars. hehe. She is a lot of fun.
It is spring break! I need to some cleaning, and catch up on some assignments for my music classes.
Today I received two lovely things in the mail: I got my diploma from Mira Costa! And also have jury duty!
Shit..
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March 21st, 2004
02:33 am - and...
Wow!
Goodnight
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March 17th, 2004
06:36 pm - Nice People
Two good things happened. I got an 85% on my anthropology test, which i am proud of! That was hard!
And today i did my Philosophy midterm, and i felt good about it! No more stress and spring break is next week!
I am so tired. I’ve been staying up till four these last few nights and waking up at seven-thirty.. which isn’t too bad, but my energy level couldn’t be lower. My eyes ache! I’ve been talking to Stephanie lately, trying to persuade her to go to Coachella, she hasn’t bought tickets yet! Stephanie and I hung out the other night. I had a wonderful night. “talking all night in a room.” We sat around in my room and chatted. She is a cool person; it is nice that we are still in touch with each other.
Let me introduce you to Stephanie.
I've known Stephanie since highschool, I met her through a friend Lynette. Lynette introduced us because Stephanie and I really liked the Cure and Lynette thought we would get along. And she was right! Stephanie lives in San Diego so we hardly hung out, but we were always talking on the phone. Both of us eventually were anxious to meet each other and wanted to spend the day with eachother. Which we did, we officially met south of Del Mar along the beach. We sat in a grassy area under a tree, and their were others' sitting around us having picnics. We created things under a tree, and we named the tree “The the the tree” pronounce th(uh) | th(ee) | the(uh) . Stephanie and I ended up going to both her’s and my prom. Well Stephanie and I hardly talk anymore due to her new ‘metalhead’ boyfriend, and her job. Although, she just got her car so her and i hope to hang out more often... Stephanie is unlike anybody I know, she has the greatest/unique humor and she is one of the sweetest people in the world.
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March 14th, 2004
11:40 pm - The Ontological Argument
hahah.. Anselm was told by a monk named Gaunilo! oh lordie, eventually i will explain.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040511203922im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) amused
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March 13th, 2004
02:00 am - Good but not a Great night
i couldn't possibly be more bored with things.
What could life possibly have in store for me?
Bring it!
i want something strange to happen
Like me under a bridge with somebody interesting. or me talking all night in a room about what our homes would look like. *sigh* those were good times. that hasn't happened for a while.
Current Music: The Cure's "fascination street"
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March 8th, 2004
12:32 pm - the joys of being a student
God damn. All I’ve been doing lately is reading. Anthropology + Philosophy. Did you know “p”s and “b”s only difference is that b is followed with a slight vocal vibration – yea, they are called voiced words – did you know between the words “pit” and “spit” that “pit” has more aspiration. Place your hand directly in front of your face and say “spit” + “pit” – our language is based off of sounds that are voiced and unvoiced, as some languages, like Thai, centers around aspirated words and unaspirated words. I had a full chapter of linguistics, oh my that was difficult to get through.. *shoots himself* The phonemes and morphology of words. I am preparing for two five-page essays that are due this Thursday for my anthropology class. I have one more chapter to read and then i can start the essays. I hope to have them finished by 2 in the morning. That way I can revise them before I turn them in.
I just had my philosophy class. I was hungry so I came home and fixed myself something nice. I need to go to work, then band practice, then I can do my essays. Whee!
Austin skipped class. Asshole..
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March 5th, 2004
08:17 pm - Little Miss Shy
(a cute story, i used to have a collection of these books when i was a little boy)
Little Miss Shy just couldn’t help it.
Being shy, that is.
She was terribly, desperately shy.
She was so shy it hurt.
Which is what they call painfully shy.
If any time at all, anyone at all said anything
At all to her, she blushed as red as a beet.
She lived all alone in a little house quite a
Long way from where you live.
In fact, quite a long way from where anybody
Lives.
Thimble Cottage!
Little Miss Shy was so shy she just couldn’t
bring herself to leave her little cottage.
She never went shopping!
The thought of walking into a shop and
asking for something was absolutely terrifying.
So, she grew her own food in the garden of
Thimble Cottage, and lived a very quiet life.
Very, very, very, very quiet indeed.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Little Miss Shy, who was having breakfast in
The kitchen of Thimble Cottage, dove under
The table in terror.
But it was only the postman knocking at the
Door.
“Anybody home?” he called.
Little Miss Shy, under the table, put her
Hands over her ears and shut her eyes.
“She must be out,” thought the postman to
himself, and pushed a letter through the mail
slot in the front door, and walked away.
Little Miss Shy waited, and waited, and
Waited until the sound of his footsteps had
Died away.
And then she waited some more.
In fact, she spent most of that day under her
Kitchen table!
It was dark by the time little Miss Shy dared
To come out.
There it was on the floor. The very first letter
She’d gotten in her whole life.
She opened it, cautiously.
It was from Mr. Funny.
“YOU ARE INVITED”
said the letter,
“TO A PARTY”
it went on,
“SATURDAY”
it said,
“AT 3 O’ CLOCK.”
It added,
“IT’S GOING TO BE FUN! FUN! FUN!”
Little Miss Shy was horrified!
She looked at the letter again.
“I can’t go!” she thought.
“I CAN’T”
“There’ll be PEOPLE there!”
PEOPLE!
In the whole wide world there was absolutely
Nothing that frightened little Miss Shy as
Much as the thought of PEOPLE.
She worried about it all night long.
But, the following morning, she made a
Decision.
“I’ll have to go,” she though.
“It wouldn’t be polite not to!”
But, five minutes later she changed her mind.
And, five minutes later she changed her mind
Back again.
But, five minutes later, guess what
Happened?
That’s right!
She didn’t sleep that night at all.
The following day was Friday, and that Friday
Little Miss Shy changed her mind one hundred
And forty-four times.
That’s how many “five minutes” there are in a
Day!
She was going to the party!
She wasn’t going to the party!
She was going to the Party!
She wasn’t!
She was!
She wasn’t!
She was!
It was a long day!
And that Friday night was even worse than
Thursday night had been. She didn’t sleep a
Wink. Not even half a wink.
Saturday morning came.
And went.
Saturday lunchtime came.
And went.
Little Miss Shy just couldn’t eat a thing.
One o’clock in the afternoon came, and went.
Two o’clock in the afternoon came, and went.
And then three o’clock, the party time, came.
And went!
But poor little Miss Shy didn’t go!
She couldn’t!
She just sat there.
A tear rolled down her cheek.
“Oh I wish I wasn’t so shy,” she sobbed.
Four o’clock came.
There was a loud knock at the door.
Little Miss Shy hid behind her chair.
The door opened.
And in walked Mr. Funny.
“ I knew you wouldn’t come,” he laughed,
looking at her behind the chair.
“So,” he went on, “I’ve come to take you!”
Little Miss Shy blushed and blushed and
blushed.
“Come on,” cried Mr. Funny, taking her by
the hand. “You’ll enjoy it once you’re there!”
And he marched the blushing little lady off to
His party.
Everybody was there!
At first Little Miss Shy didn’t feel very well.
But, everybody talked to her, and everybody
Was very nice, and gradually, the longer the
Party lasted, bit by bit, little by little,
Eventually, guess what happened?
She stopped blushing.
And actually started to enjoy herself.
“Told you so,” laughed Mr. Funny.
Little Miss Shy nodded, and giggled.
She was having the time of her life!
And only blushing a little bit.
And do you know whom she met at the
Party?
Mr. Quiet!
“I used to be shy like you,” he said.
Little Miss Shy looked at him.
“I don’t believe you,” she giggled, and then
she had a thought.
“Would you like to come to Thimble Cottage
for tea tomorrow?” she asked.
Mr. Quiet looked at her.
“Me?” he said, blushing like a beet.
“Tea?” he said, blushing like two beets.
“Tomorrow?” he said blushing like a whole
bunch of beets.
And then he fainted!
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02:18 am - And this is life.
personal opinions
what if somebody defines their own mental boundaries, their own mental limitations. All they need then is to tear down the imaginary (mental) lines - and move on. To add further meaning to their lives by completing themselves. Through objectives, goals, and other such activities. Giving their lives a purpose. Isn't that enough to further yourself? Evidently not. If we are all seeking happiness, then why does it seem that many of us are facing the opposite way.. Knowingly.. all we have to do is turn around, but by these defining barriers we are unable to turn around.. Unwillingly. Blaming it and resting upon psychological reasons.
I do believe within a certain extent, that we define who we are by our actions, and our beliefs (what we tell ourselves in our minds every day) - and this is what we become. Ex: if i repeatedly stated that i was shy only to myself, i will believe that i am shy, and because i believe i am shy, therefore i will act shy.
I like where life is taking me. And i am wondering where i will end up next.
I saw Lindsay today. She was doing homework inside the cafeteria where Todd and I were eating our lunch. Todd tried to get me to talk to her and he told me i should apologize about what happened in the past. It sounded like a good idea, but personally thought it was useless now. He threatened to ask her out if i didn't follow his advice.
We both watched her walk away.
And this is my life.
I've been thinking about this though. A form of closure sounds pleasant. It seemed, at least in my perspective, that we were soo close. i do wonder how she perceives me - i imagine that i am a pest. "i climbed a moutain and turned around" - Stevie Nicks
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February 29th, 2004
01:56 am - "as they wander lost along the way - asking... Where am I...?" - Cranes
It turns out that this post is just a summary of what happened this weekend.
I had a great night, I mean GREAT night. Thanks to Antonella. (= Her invites bring me to the strangest, yet lovely places. The night felt short unfortunately. I wish I can discuss more on this topic, but I am sketchy about what I can say. I would like to avoid getting anybody in trouble, which sucks because I do have something to say! Antonella, you played very well. Antonella should have talked to me more, but noooo. psshh
Brrr, got the chills.
Anyway, something interesting happened. Austin, Alicia, and I all went to The Center for the Moving Arts, and we ran into Preston and a girl named Teddy (I think that is her name). This was my first time talking to Teddy, although we were both really friendly, like we known each other for years. Well that was a nice feeling. I was able to socialize easily. I hope I see her around again, she would be a kick ass friend – really nice person. I was dancing again! Austin and I danced to the entire AntiQuark show.
Friday my brother’s band played. I invited Don and David to the show, and I enjoyed that night. We played very well, and did two nice covers of Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” and NIN’s “Wish”. There was an after party, which was kick chill. Dave and I argued – like always, so that wasn’t so fun. But the night didn’t end until 4am.
It sucks, and I am not going to get to into it, because it is Don’s private life, but it seems he’s been struggling. Don is a great guy. I hope things work out for him. (= my prayer for Don.
I need to see two movies:
The new adam sandler
And the religious mel gibson film
I am sleepy.
Night night
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February 26th, 2004
01:32 am - Anew
Well, Cultural Anthropology discussed an interesting concept that is essential within the Hopi Indians' culture. Time is to be experienced. Time is not meant to be budgeted. For example – if you were to sit around the table with your family and begin a breakfast at nine, if the moment is enjoyable, you are not to be aware of the time, but rather live the moment - their breakfasts can last 6 hours if they wanted it to. It is something I am interested in, but impossible within the United States, because we depend on people at specific times. Time is budgeted, which is necessary for the United States' culture.
I wish life focused more around our personal experiences. To enjoy the scenery and the people you love. To enjoy the moment and not have to worry about being somewhere at a specific time.
I have successfully persuaded Stephanie to go to the Cure with me! Whee! But, she will not go to the first day of coachella because she isn’t rich. But she will go down and spend the day studying the first day in the hotel room, so I will have somebody to ride up with me to Indio California. I am looking forward to this trip. I am also trying to persuade Todd to go, in which I almost have, just have to keep pushing. My sister’s husband works at a Marriott 20 minutes from coachella, so I am planning to stay there. OH this will be so cool!
So it is official, I like somebody who is ten years older than I. It is possible that she may like me, the only negative thing is – she’s dating somebody. Which is whacky, since she told me specifically that I shouldn’t date anybody (or that I should stop dating people). And that she doesn’t like the terms dating, relationships. So I will push to be her close friend. Friendships last a whole lot longer anyway.
I had a great night with her in my Recording Arts class. *sigh*
Things are good.
Current Music: The sound of the rain
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February 22nd, 2004
04:25 am - trials and errors
i am sorry for the break. and i know i stated i wouldn't post anymore, but i lied, and that is that.
So friday night i was yelled at by my dad. afterwards i felt great - like i normally do after an intense lecture from my dad. I started to clean my room some more, it is getting out of hand again. THen thought hey, i should call Antonella, so i did. IT was nice we had a lovely conversation. The next day, she invited me and my friends to go hang with her.
wow. It is 4:30 in the morning. i wasn't expecting much from this weekend, but tonight was wonderous. Austin, Dave and I went to a (what we thought was a bar) club.it was unfortunate that Erin wasn't able to go.. /= I had a great night, and i plan on going more. I was dancing like no other (which is typically unlike me). Antonella is way too cool! (= Austin had a hard time, it wasn't his scene. Which it wasn't particularly my scene, but once i started dancing, it felt nice. i am glad i went. And was happy i called Ant on friday, or i may have missed out on such a lovely night out.
The music was very similar to Xanth, but had a lot more people, and it was 21 and up. They played Peter Murphy's "Cut you up", Skinny Puppy's Warlock, and Siouxsie and the banshees' (don't know the name)! I typically don't like Skinny Puppy, although i think Warlock is great, i wish they wrote more songs that compare to it. I also remember a lot of VNV nation, which they are not my thing either. Although, it is quite different when you are dancing to it, listening for the subtle changes to include another step, or change of pattern. Whee!
i am worrying, austin isn't going to coachella with me. I don't know if i will have any fun without him. None of my close friends are going. )= my last option is pulling Todd, which he also seems uninterested. that is a stressor, maybe i will go with Stephanie, one of the biggest cure fans other than myself. oh bother. i don't have anywhere to go/stay. BUT i will figure this one out.
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