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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
revelation's LiveJournal:
| Tuesday, May 14th, 2002 | |
| 1:08 am | hmm no more boys for me well not for a long time ....anyways |
| Saturday, May 11th, 2002 | |
| 5:03 am | i think im going to start a kristen dunst hate club or at least thats what john suggested i do ....hmm |
| Saturday, February 16th, 2002 | |
| 4:19 am | dialated watching the evolution rise into of what was but a dream. praying louder now for this reched reflection to come still . you stop my analyzing to bring me back to reality and for that i love you.....pushing yourself back entirely for me shutting off our only guild to these surroundings....separating the contact of body and mind... embrassing this concept blindly only to run with something that appears to be a resolution, forced to bending possibilities.... fuck you dear warranter i thought i was your only source....transforming into a transparent state infront of me your mistake....the insecurity comes knowing the obvious it's to late for you now i will play your game and join the uprise leaving you behind |
| Sunday, February 10th, 2002 | |
| 4:26 am | i wonder if all people from different towns talk about their towns like quincy people do about how it sucks and its just a black hole and whatnot or is dissin your town just a quincy thing..? |
| Saturday, February 9th, 2002 | |
| 5:48 am | ready for anything i was just thinking about shit thats going on around here and all the crap that i could be doing right now and i dont know ihave been drinking and all but still i've been thinkin about it even before that but like now that im sigle again and whatnot i might as well go for it but not just shit like that but about everything in general that would be in peoples lives now i dont know this all might sound like a bunch of words just put together but damnit i dont know i just had the need to write/type something down ......i wanna go back to the past for some parts anyhow.....i know i'll hate mayself later |
| Monday, January 7th, 2002 | |
| 3:05 pm | well yesterday me john and josh were trying to get people together to go see a concert in st.louis it ended up that brian was the only one who could and we were going to take his car then 3 hours later he hasnt come by so i found out that we can take my moms van i drove till troy then john took over we finally got into st.louis and we were about 5 minutes until we got to pops where the concert was on I-70 east when almost getting hit by a white car made john serve into the other lane it was so icey that he lost control of the van and we finally hit the devider we were lucky no one got hurt and that no one was behind us....we got a flat and it look like some one sawed a corner of the van off bu the worse part was waiting for a cop becuz people were just flaying by us we were just waiting for some one to slide into us that was scary but then a the cops came and the tow trucks too and helped us fix the tire and we could only make left turns right turns were just really fuckin hardso back on the highway heading home we see a car almost reck and some how didnt after almost crashing again going back he got to the sholder which was a lot safer and as soon as wer did to the right of us a taxi goes flying off the road it was neat looking but the john and josh went to go see if he was cool and a ghetto bus driver stopped and helped him out then we went off agian josh driving and went into the airport parking lot and stayed there for a little whilebut then decided to go a head and drive backit was a little tricky but it worked out it only took us 3hours and 40minutes to get home and then beaver and josh got drunk ! |
| Sunday, January 6th, 2002 | |
| 4:03 am | if dreams have meanings... i just woke up from a bad dream it was pretty creepy i was in a more old style house with hilary candace and quinn and a bunch of others that hilary knew and in like one party of the house surgariesand the cops keep coming by the people i didnt know pissed me off they were acting stuck up and only kept you around if they needed somethinghilary kept asking me where eric was and she said he wasnt here some how i made my way downstairs and saw eric his brother and john watching tv i went back upstairs and old lady which i could like just feel evil off of here too thats how the whole room was just covered in the lady just sat down and said the baby isnt going to make it and left through out the dream some people like never came back and i knew in my head they were dead and traces of blood were everywherethen after the sended cop rade i saw a knife fly across the room and heard some screams then i saw this jason like guuy start stabbing people and then i was seeing what this jason was seeing but then i noticed i was the jason type person stabbing everyone not paying attention to any cries then i started screaming at them in this horrible squicky hell voice and went completely insane, starting stabbing myself and i lost control like i was in the body as soon as i did that i woke up with a pain where i stabbed myself at the right side of my stomachit hurt so bad as though i was cut deep.....what would that mean? |
| Friday, January 4th, 2002 | |
| 9:08 am | im just a natural born fuck up ever since i was in the 7th grade i knew deep in my mind that i wasnt going to graduate high school become something that i dream of i know i disappoint people ....im not going to school today either oh well..... |
| Tuesday, January 1st, 2002 | |
| 6:30 am | ny02 welp it turned out better then i thought it would i woke up at the usual 7-730pm and was supposed to hang out with dawn but never got to... so me and brock went over to meet people at kristin's my new years kiss was from ben then again it was everyone else's too ;) all in all it was good times |
| Tuesday, December 25th, 2001 | |
| 8:24 pm | experience i dont have to scream at you .you'll recognize it in my eyes. emotions getting loarder with every visual dust assends at the flinch here is comes.... paranoia of your presinse. it holds me back of letting go to full enlightenment being obtainable. who are you to judge are you human or the creation it makes. apperently so , scattereed solely the precision is in your posture....i'm frightened paranoia of your presense. emboiled them into a individual state of mind . just let me be immune! confusion sets. something has changed . i felt it starting from my intellect. sufficating it begins to seal... veering- transgressing to be free... grasped me back. paranoia of your presense . pondering of what is my immortality. second guessing is a simptum of our devosion giving up is your distruction. is this what you're built of . getting your stamina, domination, ability to control my fate.. how so when you are but a fabrication. paranoia of your presense. in my sanity you have unfolded. bring a new consideration that your destination is to evaporate out of my consciousness, hypothesis and idealism. though you have fought well against me. this conflict is over . i have made up my mind. and so i choose not you but what is to become from experience... |
| Tuesday, December 11th, 2001 | |
| 1:03 am | im kinda glad im done with my art project but now i have nothing else to make time go by altho i still have to paint it. today ive tried to get a hold of an old friend james i think he may be dead.....hmm |
| Wednesday, December 5th, 2001 | |
| 4:00 pm | i didnt go to school today.... i just slept all day it was nice being home alone tho peaceful i guess but then my parents came home from work and my mom talked to my dad how i didnt go to school i wish she wouldnt tell him shit im not afriad of him by any means its just what he calls me |
| Tuesday, December 4th, 2001 | |
| 12:13 am | addition to stress or relief.... i just dont understand it i guess i dont know whta to feel about what happened tonight ....i got an apology i dont know how things are gunna be like in the future and right now i dont know what i want them to be like. i still have a lot of questions to ask him i just wish i could have said them... i just dont wanna feel so crappy anymore i guess i cant handle it |
| Monday, November 26th, 2001 | |
| 11:49 pm | why do you have to be so dumb man its been a pretty shitty day i can already tell 14th street isnt going to last long im all teary eyed and shit becuz i guess i lost a few friends for some fuckin queer ass reasons just becuz i like some one else that a lot of them dont but fuck that |
| Sunday, November 25th, 2001 | |
| 2:20 am | lokki says mike times are changing i can tell how my friends have made themselves into little groups its kinda sad and i guess i lost a friend too.... but anyways good things happened this weekend it was pretty neat candace came down from chicago for the weekend and me and her went to hang out with and old friend mike foote and his friends that came to visit from memphis or whatever they were cool guys very talented musicians i enjoyed them playing for us well i dont know oo much else at this point i start to go to another alternative school on 14th street on monday i hope thats fun.... |
| Thursday, November 15th, 2001 | |
| 6:27 pm | it could be worst the next time you're having a bad day imagine this..... you're a siamese twin. your brother attached at your shoulder is gay and you're not. But you're the one with the ass. feel better? |
| Tuesday, November 13th, 2001 | |
| 1:07 am | hell.... man todya i didnt go to school againand instead i did the most terrible thing instead i did duster when i hate but did it anyways then i took 4 vicodin and then smoke a loooot of weed and already i puked 4 times and soon to be 5 i feel like im dying |
| Sunday, November 11th, 2001 | |
| 11:53 pm | same ol s**t im listing to stabbing westard the song darkest days it just says alot .....anyways interesting weekend a friend and i went out to a friends house and stole his life |
| 2:50 pm | Newburgs theory scans of the brain suggest the brain may be able to experiece two realities. in one reality awareness reaches the mind through the filter of the self. in the other the self is swept aside and the minds awareness grows broader and more unified. |
| Monday, November 5th, 2001 | |
| 11:12 pm | thinkin about how i didnt go to school and how much it hurts my mom everytime she tries to wake me up for school and never works she cries sometimes know that one day im not going to wake up and they are going to come and take me way from her even now knowing this i still dont do anything about it i guess that what the torat cards were talking about how i was goin to destory myself tomorrow i have to take a tour of the jail i know what to do about it i just wish i could but something is holding me back i need out |