Well, I've been sober for about a week now, and as predicted I'm feeling much happier already. It's also been less difficult than it was at the beginning of Lent, despite the end point being about 4 times as far away. I feel a lot more aware of what's going on around me, of myself and my potential to grow.

( Noodling about the knock on effects of sobriety. )

And since it's doing the rounds I'll finish with a meme, and see how your impressions of me match my own swiftly improving one.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Describe me in one word.
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

I was going to go to film club tonight, but I got home from work at 7.15 with quite a lot of stuff that I needed to do before the weekend, and since I'm off to Milton Keynes tomorrow evening I thought I'd be responsible and stay in.

One of the things I did was fill in an application form for another job at the Council. After discovering that I'd missed out on the Graduate Trainee Scheme I had a look at the internal vacancies page, and there's a six month contract going in one of the departments related to mine, and whilst it won't have the push towards development that I'd really like it will be a chance to learn more about a new project and give me a chance to impress more people, so hopefully I can get on the scheme next year. The person spec was all things that are within my capabilities, but hopefully it should stretch them a little more than my current role. Wish me luck :)

In other news, the slipping mood seems to have lifted again. I really should try to remember that this doesn't mean I can start staying up till three in the morning all week with impunity, but I suspect that a certain someone who's been keeping me up chatting for hours bears quite a lot of the responsibility for my perkiness :)

So much for getting lots of sleep last night. I got kept up on the phone until three in the morning by a certain someone, but as I keep getting a silly grin on my face every time I think about said someone, I can't complain too much.

I got my coil replaced this morning. ( Cut for girly medical whinging )

I'm going to hang around the house and relax for an hour or so, and hopefully then the pain will have subsided enough for me to go back into work without having to curl up under my desk every now and then.

Well that was nerve-wracking. deliberateblank just managed to leave the kitchen door open whilst cooking something smokey.

For some reason I'm a little bit twitchy when it comes to smoke alarms going off right now...

This bit is vaugely important.

Two things to mention. Firstly, I seem to have slipped into a mild depression again. It is only mild, and I'm fairly certain it's entirely caused by over-doing it, and I'm confident that I can kick it in a couple of weeks. However, I may be feeling a little fragile over this time, so a) whilst I shall do my best not to, if I'm snappy at people, it's just my mood, nothing personal. b) I may not be at my most sparkling and sociable. If I'm sitting in a corner looking mopey, then feel free to check that I'm okay, but please don't try and get me into conversation or drag me back into the throng.

Secondly, I've decided to give up drinking until the end of the year, possibly longer. This is going to be extremely difficult for me. I've just about got the knack of not drinking in the Kambar, but apart from gigs and the rocksoc meetings I shall be avoiding pubs for the time being. But on these occasions, or in other situations when the drink is flowing please do not offer me alcohol. I realise that my inability to say no is very weak and somewhat pathetic, but I am an addict, and although I'm trying to fix this, it will take some time.

( This bit is noodling about my attitudes and reasons, and as such less important. )

(Aside - I have a chocolate fairy that leaves Caramel Dairy Milks on my bed. I love my chocolate fairy. *bounce* *kiss*)

You know how a lot of people automatically answer the question "How are you?" with "fine", "can't complain", or something of that ilk? I suspect it's starting to look as though my response to that is similarly automatic, as "I'm good. Tired, stressed, busy. But life is good."

There's certainly no doubt that for the most part, I've been much happier over the last two or three months than I have been for a long time. I'm starting to get a little worried about the busy side of things though. It's all well and good, having an active social life, but I think it's starting to take over. After a rather ridiculous three week period, in which I never had more than an hour to myself between work and whatever I was doing that evening, I decided to try and cut back on socialising. So far I have completely and utterly failed.

( Listen to Elise complaining about how unfair it is that she's having so much fun... )

The house is now useable again. The bathroom, whilst still having no power, does have running water, and the rest of the house has electricity. I'm back on my very own computer :) Rah.

The party will still be next-door, because whilst things are okay for us, I wouldn't quite feel comfortable inviting everyone round.

Everything is still a bit tense. Having missed an extra day and a half of work just after Whitby I still have a fairly mountainous in-tray. But on the other hand, I'm sat in my own bedroom, with cheesy goth music playing in the background, and a bottle of chocolate beer beside me. Can't complain too much.

I'm afraid that the party on Saturday is going to have to be cancelled - apologies to anyone who was looking forward to it, hopefully it can be rescheduled for a later date.

I'd also like to ask if someone who's going to the Calling tonight, and ideally lives reasonably close to Castle Hill could offer crash-space for John and me afterwards. We're actually likely to need somewhere to stay for another few days, but until the emergency plumbers and electricians and such have had a poke around, we don't really know what sort of timescale that'll be on.

( So what the hell happened this morning? )