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Monday, August 23rd, 2004
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3:15 pm
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happy birthday to me! I'm 23(FNORD!!) today.
had a rather annoying time at the grocery store today. I'm buying 2 things( a 2 and a 3 candle for my cake) and the fat bitch with a gang of kids is buying 200 dollars worth of junk food. of course with a food stamp card and WIC. ok, i grew up on welfare too...but goddamn...my mom tried to buy healthy food with it, and because of paperwork error on several caseworkers part, had to pay every cent of her welfare back. I work for a fucking living and it really bothers me to see these uneducated ho's shit out kid after kid and fucking get REWARDED for it. Welfare is there for a reason, and i understand its need. It just really pisses me off when my tax money is going for 40 DOLLARS WORTH OF LITTLE DEBBIES!!!!!! plus the fact that she saw me with my two little items and could have been nice enough to let me go ahead of her. But no i had to stand behind the cunt for 20 minutes while her crotchfruit ran around destroying things. of course they open up another line as i'm being checked out. Some people have accused me of being a Republican because of my viewpoints about welfare and working. Fuck that! Is it to much to ask for a little personal responsibility!!! Isnt that the idea of Rational Anarchy/Secular Humanism? I even let her use my Kroger Plus card....i should have said "well you are already getting it for free, why not pay full price" But i was a nice bear. Assholeness doesnt get you very far either. So i kept my mouth shut.
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| Friday, July 16th, 2004
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2:47 am
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well its 2:30 in the morn, i've been up since 6am and i'm not sleepy.
watched Boondocks Saints the other night. nifty movie. Willem Dafoe is mega queer.
I have entirely too many animals...but at least they are all sleeping right now. My kids (as of now) are: Pearl Jam Buttons, cat, 9yrs; Cheech Bunnybutt,cat,2yrs; Roland Pumpkin,cat,1yr; Luna Bear,rott/lab, 9mos; Millie Critter,who knows what breed...possibly Chow/Pomeranian, 5mos; Jake Schnappes Hi Kitten,cat, 3mos. Jake is purring away on my lap right now. He got neutered yesterday, so he's still sleeping off the ketamine buzz. I want a ferret but i don't need anything else running around and shitting on things.
I feel stupid lately. Especially at work. I used to be the smart kid...and then i discovered drugs and sex in high school and i stopped caring.... I still read constantly and try to pretend like i'm some psuedo-intellectual...but i'm really a pothead who needs to go back to school. I want to get my Vet Tech degree...but its expensive and takes 7 years just to get an associate degree with the distance learning programs...the other option would be to commute to Purdue...but gah.....i have a mortgage and can't afford to lose hours at work...
but generally...everything is okay.
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2:29 am
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gay quiz...
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 27th, 2004
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1:16 pm
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gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have hives! all over me! on my boobies, my tummy, my crotch and my legs.
I havent had hives since my reaction to amoxicillin when i was 8. I think i'm allergic to my antidepressant, since thats the only new thing i've been exposed to and it is listed as a side effect.
I havent eaten anything weird, I havent been around any grass or plants.
THIS FUCKING SUCKS!!!
I took an antihistamine and soaked in an oatmeal bath, and i'm trying not to itch.
BUT ACK!!!!!!!
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 26th, 2004
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10:19 pm - randomness
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I got new glasses! See! Look! New iconess.
I highly recommend Ginger Snaps, and Ginger Snaps 2:Unleashed, if you like vaguely incestual lesbian werewolf horror movies with hot goth chics.
I'm sitting around the house topless. Its my house, I pay the mortgage, therefore I may sit in front of an open window with my boobies out. Guys do it all the time. :)
I woke butch up this morning. with head. to completion. so i made him return the favor even if he did get a neck cramp.
I'm going to go smoke a bowl on the couch next to butchie. like we do evey night. sigh.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 19th, 2004
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9:54 pm
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its really time to get a new doctor. the mysogynistic asshole puts me on actos, an oral diabetes medicine, along with my insulin. He gave me samples for a few months, with no patient information sheets. I go for a check up friday and he gives me an actual script for it, plus antidepressants to help me quit smoking and quit crying uncontrollably. Actos and Wellbutrin both interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills AND they both say "do not take if pregnant or can become pregnant because of the risk of birth defects" So I can't take the pill but i shouldnt (and don't want to) get pregnant. I ask him about this and he says to go on the depo shot, which is bullshit because I was already on that for 2 years and he knows it made me gain 50lbs and it completely erased my sex drive. So then he says "just use condoms" Which Butch and I do, but goddammit i shouldnt have to.
He also refuses to give me an IUD and told me that I am to young to get my tubes tied.
It's a fucking shame that I could face: 1. another abortion, 2. a deformed/retarded kid 3. death/serious complications due to my health problems if i did get pregnant. Even when Butch and I are completely diligant with condom use, they are not 100% effective. I want my tubes tied due to medical and personal reasons and I don't understand why this seems so impossible. He says he cant due the iud or tubal because he would et sued by wishy washy woman who change there minds. Fuck that. if i decide i want children later on, then i will adopt/be a good aunt/volunteer with kids/adopt more animals/get over it.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 4th, 2004
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3:21 pm
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pet peeve: when guys with long hair cut it off.
dammit.
I'm vaguely watching some stupid makeover show on mtv2 and Kelis(the Milkshake chic) said to a goth guy "Girls like guys who look like guys, cut it all off"
Speak for yourself Miss one hit wonder.
Butch is growing his poofy glory back out after 6 years of working at a restaurant. yay!
Oh my god. They shaved the goth guys head, put a skull cap on him, and dressed him like every other shitty ghetto thug. fuck makeovers and fuck tv.
well at least they donated the guys hair to that organization that make wigs for cancer patients.
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| Monday, April 19th, 2004
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10:01 pm
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i'm hand raising 4 baby kittens. ahh those 4 am feedings...
rachel volenteered me. biatch.
butch has been out of a job for almost a month. Supposed to be starting TWO jobs this week, but who knows. money worries blow.
same ol shit, different day.
Still horny as a goat and crasser than yo grammama drunk.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 24th, 2004
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12:06 am
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so last week butch fucked up the car, hit a speedbump and a pothole and broke the front axle and ball joint. that cost 450 dollars on my credit card. (bugger fuck) the very next morning the ignition was on the floorboard...some stupid crack head tried to hotwire it, but the cutlass has a microchip in the key and you can't start it without the key. that was another 150 dollars...and i had to pay off my balance at work, which was 172 dollars...so i don;t know how the fuck i'm going to pay even my minimum balance next month...and today butch had a job interview with citizens action coalition, soliticing funds. he liked it so much he quit his job of 6 years at the restaurant. I feel...mixed. WHo knows if this place is going to work out, they are ALWAYS hiring. and the restaurant was shitty, but at least it was secure.....
oh and i got my own car today. I bought the Neon from mom (technically from my step-brother, but he doesnt speak much english...) i paid 600 today and i'm paying 200 a month. god knows how much the car insurance will go up.
I'm going to be a very broke Hobear.
But i feel okay. Not pulling my hair out like last week.
current mood:  hopeful
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 14th, 2004
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5:09 pm
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i got another puppy. her name is Millie and she's an eight week old chow with a cataract in her right eye. They were going to kill her at Animal Control, because of her eye she was deemed unadoptable. We had her on meds at work and the eye looks great. Her and Luna get along well, but millie has a very annoying puppy yap! right now they are sleeping all curled up together. (awww) I got Luna a big girl crate, and Butch and I can fit in it, though not at the same time. He got in and I locked the door and cackled maniacally. heh. Most of the chows i see at work are meanie heads, so i have to work extra hard with millie to make sure shes not vicious.
and she still has puppy breath. which is my favorite smell ever.
My mom is selling me her 95 Neon for 2000 dollars, and i can make payments. I checked out its Carfax report today and its got a clean history. yay! my own car! Hopefully i will get it sometime next week, as right now her stepson is using it, but getting his new truck this week. Right now all my bills (mortgage,utilities,home insurance and car insurance) are about 1000 dollars a month. Mom wants 200 dollars a month for the Neon, and i think we can swing it. that leaves about 200 dollars a week for butch and i to eat,smoke and get gas on.......
I HATE BILLS AND ADULTHOOD AND RESPONSIBILITY!!!!! GRAAAR!!!
umm anyway. it'll be okay, manda.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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4:23 pm
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stolen from ali's lj...
X things that are true. leave blank things that are false.
(_) I never have been drunk
(_) I never have smoked pot
(_) I never have kissed a member of the opposite sex
(_) I never have kissed a member of the same sex
(X) I never crashed a friend's car
(X) I never been to Japan
(_) I never rode in a taxi
(_) I never had anal sex
(_) I never have been in love
(_) I never had sex
(_) I never have had sex in public
(_) I never have been dumped
( ) I never shoplifted
(X) I never have been fired
(_) I never been in a fist fight
(_) I never had a threesome
(X) I never snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I never been tied up (sexually)
( ) I never been caught masturbating
(_) I never pissed on myself
(_) I never had sex with a member of the same sex
(_) I never had sex with a member of the opposite sex
(_) I never been arrested
(_) I never made out with a stranger
(X) I never stole something from my job
(X) I never celebrated New Year's in Times Square (or national equivalent)
(X) I never went on a blind date
(X) I never lied to a friend
(X) I never had a crush on a teacher
(X) I never celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(X) I never been to Europe
(_) I never skipped school
(X) I never slept with a co-worker
(X) I never have been fisted and/or have never fisted anyone
(X) I never have thrown up in a bar
(X) I never have visited a site held holy by a major religion
(X) I never cheated on a final exam.
(_) I never had a relationship with someone of the same-sex
(_) I never have been/gotten someone pregnant
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| Sunday, February 15th, 2004
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11:49 pm
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theres this Dickies work shirt/dress thing at hot topic with chains and patches and stuff. they want 50 bucks for it, so i said fuck dat and got a knockoff at the thrift store for 5 bucks, threw some chains and buttons on it and ta-dah! new dress. its sexay.
a lot of weird psychic occurances lately...thinking about something and it just appears out of no where. like thinking about this drug name yesterday, and a baseball hat with the name on it appearing at the thrift store today. or thinking about a bear with tits 5 minutes before Jamie started doodling it.
Got my drivers license finally so now i'm mobile. woot. I realize i am the ONLY good driver. yep. all y'all other fuckers better get out of my way. *honk*
I want to die my hair black again. should know better, as its a pain in the ass to get out...but i've been a redhead for about 3 years now...many variations, but pretty much the same color.
current music: disturbed-stupified (BOCK!)
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, February 7th, 2004
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2:20 pm
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I GOT MY PUPPY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she had followed some kids to school and the social worker took her in. she was living with her for all 9 days, and she took her to a clinic to get scanned today and they called me at noon. She was a wonderful lady and even refused the reward money. I'm just thrilled. she's gained 5 pounds and she's even better potty trained then when i lost her. Thank the gods!!!!! my baby's home!!!!!
:)
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| Friday, February 6th, 2004
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12:52 am - and you shall know us by the trail of red....
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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11:11 pm
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i'm a distraught mother. my puppy escaped from our yard yesterday morning and i can't find her. i put up flyers and reported her missing with animal control and the humane society and her microchip company. she didnt have her collar on, but she does have a recent spay scar and painted green toenails...so hopefully someone will figure out she's owned. Luckily my clinic has a contract with animal control,so if she ends up there, i'll find her.
Wherever you are Luna Bear, i hope you are warm and well fed.
Mom misses you.
:(
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| Saturday, January 17th, 2004
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8:28 pm - for the love of all that is right and wrong and squishy...sign the feckin petition.
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| Saturday, January 10th, 2004
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7:20 pm
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| Friday, January 2nd, 2004
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10:12 pm
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i just bought "outkast: the videos"
*shake it like a polaroid picture*
and "best of bowie"
i listened to "space oddity" on headphones and its fucking awesome. bowie recorded the vocals twice and plays them at the same time in harmony with each other. i never heard it like that on the radio. at first i thought it was just someone else doing backup vocals, but its just him in a different octave. wicked bad.
"ground control to major tom
you're circuits dead
theres something wrong
can you hear me major tom?"
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 1st, 2004
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11:22 pm
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1) Using band names, spell out your name
Aerosmith
Marilyn Manson
Anthrax
Nine Inch Nails
Def Leppard(d is hard)
Abba? (stupid)
2) Have you ever had a song written about you? No. But butch says he will/
3) What song makes you cry? wish you were here-pink floyd. only the good die young-billy joel
4) What song makes you happy? anything by outkast that i can shake my booty to.
5) What do you like to listen to before bed? type o negative if i'm fucking. enya if i'm chilling
a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT:5'4
HAIR COLOR: reddish brown
SKIN COLOR: pale body, rosy cheeks.
EYE COLOR: green
PIERCINGS:just ears
TATTOOS: bear claw and "hobear" on my left boobie.
r i g h t - n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: blue jeans
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: nothing right now.
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?:cigarrettes
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: its rainin.
d o - y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?:on planes
HAVE A BAD HABIT?: plenty
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?:eh. somewhat.
f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: simpsons
CONDITIONER: tressame
MAGAZINE:Maxim
SODA: Diet crap/
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: sleep
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: many
h a v e - y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: yep
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: nah
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: yep
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: yep
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yep
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: no
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: no. but my mom has used mine.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: yep
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: yep
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: no
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: yes
l o v e
BOYFRIEND: husband
GIRLFRIEND: not right now.
CHILDREN: 4 fur babies
BEEN IN LOVE?: yep
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: yep
BEEN HURT?: lots
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: several
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR 3 DAYS: maybe
r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: yes. vet assistant. i get paid to stick things in dogs and cats asses. yay!
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: lost highway soundtrack
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: periwinkle
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: reading, sex, flirting
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: butch
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?:
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: butch, joey,jamie, b.butch,pax,kris and zeuss
w h e n / w h a t - w a s - t h e - l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: today. reading an article about quake orphans in iran. sappy.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: do xmas cards count?
YOU GOT E-MAIL: today
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: ER
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER:i saw school of rock at the dollar movies tonight.
y o u r - t h o u g h t s - o n
ABORTION: its a very personal decision and it should remain a womans choice.
TEENAGE SMOKING:its stupid, but i've smoked since i was 14 so, whatever.
SPICE GIRLS: who? oh yeah...whatever.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 26th, 2003
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6:53 pm
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and now the standard after xmas post about what shit me and butch got:
from dad: TWO hello kitty tin purses and a hello kitty calender. towels in a basket. tool set. grooming kit for butch.
from mom: best of pat benetar import cd.
from butch's dad and girlfriend and brother and his girlfriend: handcuffs, cock ring, lube,stuffed bear with a pocket on the ass, fake hair, toke stone,nifty wooden box, pretty wine glasses.
from butchs mom: socks,assorted basket full o cool stuff, lava glitter lamp, electronic dart board, flannel shirt.
from kris, my work buddy: a hello kitty watch.
from julie, my work secret santa: a hello kitty blankie.
from butchie to me: ball gag, necklace with matching earrings, velvet peasent shirt, vibrator.
to butchie from me: biker boots, wizard dagger.
and for me from me via Santa Visa: Dr. Marten's
Happy Capitalism Everyone!!!!
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