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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in
LJL's LiveJournal:
| Monday, December 25th, 2000 | |
| 11:05 pm |  When we last left our hero. He was in the clutches of the evil Scam Waltenson and his bevy of Xmas babes. Scam: You're doomed. Santa will never deliver his presents. I hope you elves are looking forward to moving overseas and working in my shop. Making Kathie Lee clothing! HA HA HA. Santa: Ho Ho Ho.  Dude from machine: Na ah ah Motherfucker not today! You took my quarter Biaaatch and I'm gonna beat your ass. THE NEXT SECTION OF LIVEJOURNALLIVE WAS EDITED DUE TO VIOLENT CONTENT.  Santa: Damn he played Scam out like a little bitch. That homie's wack. I can't work for him no more yo. Come on elves let's go deliver some presents. FALLSIAR: Well I better finish my shopping. I'm gonna head back in the store. Aw son of a bitch!  All the cheesy singing taxidermied animals are coming to life and attacking people.  Oh I hate that fucking thing. Holy shit what's this?  Awww!!! That guy is such a prick. He better not be working here today. Hey what's this?  My sister might like this. I better have sex with it.  You like that. Don't you bitch.  Wow a turkey. If I have sex with it would it be necrophilia or bestiality? Wow it would be both and a great Christmas dinner with extra stuffing.  Well shopping's done. Let's get the fuck out of here.  Well welcome to the show Santa! Great job delivering all the presents last night. We know you give out a ot of gifts each year. Nobody returns the favor. So we pitched in and got you a li'l chocolaty christmas treat. Your present's on the line right now.  Caller: Wazzup Santa baby! Santa: Ho Ho Ho! Thanks but I can't take you up on your offer. I've got to go work at my part time job. FALLSIAR: What's that? Santa: As a clown at Jesus' birthday party! WHA WHAA WHAAAAAA... |
| Monday, December 18th, 2000 | |
| 7:45 pm |  Welcome to a live journal live christmas with your host FALLSIAR. FALLSIAR: Today we have a very special, very rich, guest who many despise. While this man does not get much media attention, I'm sure he is currently prevalent in our lives through his Walt-Mart and Scam's Club chains of megastores. Ladies and gentlemen give it up for Scam Waltenson. (applause)  Scam: Thanks for the intro Asshole! See I'm misunderstood. I really am an average American man. I just took a break from sucking peoples money across America during this busy holiday season in my chain of 24 hours stores to come on your stupid show. FALLSIAR: Well we investigated your idea of an all american shopping experience in our LJL tour of WALT-MART. Ladies and gentlemen let's have a look shall we.  Here we are at Walt Mart! Let's start our Holiday shopping experience the American way. I need to get some presents. Let's go inside Shall we!  FALLSIAR: Hmm.. I think I might start with a refreshing Scam's choice cola. Dude at machine: Dammit this piece of shit wouldn't give me my Scam's choice cola. All I wanted was a Scam's choice cola, just one Sam's choice cola and thay wouldn't give it to me! I want my quarter back. FALLSIAR: Sir would you let me try. Dude at Machine: Go ahead if you wanna lose your quarter. I'm going to management.  Good Luck! Think I'll do some shopping. Let's see what- Oh my god who's fat ass is that?  Wow It's attached to Rosie O'donut!!!  Rosie: Hi Fallsiar! I just love coming here to buy my guns!  Rosie: They make great gifts. Give the gift of a big gun I always say! I'll buy a couple for myself! Oooh and some toy guns for the kiddies. FALLSIAR: I'm gonna check the CD Section myself. Hey Walt-Mart Lady you look awfully familiar. Kind of like that chick who killed Kurt Cobain!  WaltMart Lady: Psssstt... hey dude wanna buy my CD. WaltMart wouldn't sell it due to content so I've infiltrated the comapny as a CD stocker to peddle them tax free! FALLSIAR: Keep telling yourself that LOSER! I gotta get out of here. Gee this computer looks nice. Maybe I'll get it for my friend this year. I better have sex with it to make sure he'll like it.  FALLSIAR: Oooohhh yeaahhh! He'll like it. Hey What's back here?  FALLSIAR: Oh my gosh! Santa: Who's next to get on Santa's lap. Crystal have you been naughty? Ho Ho Ho. and you a Ho too!  Scam Waltonsen: That's right. I've got Santa and the elves over here chillin'. I paid them off to not really make and deliver presents this year. That way people will have to buy them all from me! HA HA HA! FALLSIAR: Damn Santa's a sellout. TO BE CONTINUED... Will Santa escape the clutches of the Xmas babes? Can FALLSIAR rescue Santa in time for Christmas eve so he can deliver his presents to needy boys and girls all around the world? Will the sinister Scam Waltenson put the elves to work in a seedy sweatshop in Thailand? Find out all this and more Join us next week for a LJL xmas part 2. adress all questions and comments to: FALLSIAR@aol.com |
| Monday, December 11th, 2000 | |
| 10:52 am | Once again it's time for another episode of your favorite show and ours. Live Journal Live with your host FALLSIAR.  It's a beautiful day on live journal yes, a beautiful day on live journal.  Did you read mine? Did you read mine?  I have always wanted to have a talk show, just like this.  I always wanted a show with celebrity guests, to dis. SO…  Let's make the most of this beautiful show…  Do we do requests? Well the answer is no. Won't you read mine? I didn't read yours.  Won't you read my Journal. Hi everybody. Today I'm here with… uh? uh? Oh yeah Fred Wurst. Lead singer of the junk band Lint Bizquik. Hello Fred. Welcome to the show. The door's right over there when you're ready to leave. Anyway...  Fred: Damn Dog I'm really glad I finally made you're show. FALLSIAR: Whatever dude just gimme the plug. Fred: Word! Uh.. I'm here to plug my new movie. It's all about a band trying to make it to the big time. It stars me as myself and Kevin Bacon as my guitarist West Boring. FALLSIAR: Fascinating. Do we have a clip? Fred: Yeah in this scene we're rockin' out at a show and I'm trying to- FALLSIAR: Just show the fuckin' clip. Fred: Oh yeah uh here it is.  Fred: Pretty cool huh? Kevin Bacon nailed it.  Whatever Fred I think we're almost out of time. RING RING Great It sounds like we have a call.  LJL phone guy: Hello Anonymous caller: Hello is your refrigerator running? LJL phone guy: FALLSIAR It's for you.  Hey wait a second this voice sounds really familiar. I know who this is.  Oh shit I guess I'm busted.Fred: He's always trying to steal my spotlight. FALLSIAR: OK I've had enough. It's time for you to leave Fred.  Oh Security!!! Security: Alright punk. You don't belong here. Let's go Fred: Wait you don't understand. I did it all for the nookie. Security: The what? Fred: The nookie! Security: WHATCHU TALKIN 'BOUT FRED? THHE FOLLOWING SECTION OF LJL HAS BEEN EDITED FOR VIOLENT CONTENT.  Well…... gag. Thanks for tuning in. It was sickening enough having to look at Fred Wurst, much less watch my security guard beat the living shit out of him. Tune in next week! |
| Thursday, December 7th, 2000 | |
| 8:42 pm | OK due to popular demand we just got a reading from our staff psychic. Here is a sneak preview of what will be happening in this monday on Live Journal Live!  Anonymous Caller: Hello is your refrigerator running? Our psychic is tapped for now so tune in sometime Monday for a brand new edition of live journal live! |
| Monday, December 4th, 2000 | |
| 3:33 pm | Episode 1 Hello and welcome to LIVE JOURNAL LIVE where we bring the hottest celebrities to you, our live journal audience. I'm your host FALLSIAR.  Today we are very proud to introduce our first guest MARTHA STEWAAAAART  Hello Martha and Welcome to our show. Martha: Of course FALLSIAR darling. I owe you a few favors anyway. FALLSIAR: Let's get right down to business. I understand your favorite gardening tool is the heart shaped HOE. Martha: That's right FALLSIAR my dear. I find the heart shaped HOE amazing when in action. The best for all my HOEING needs.  FALLSIAR: I couldn't help but notice your vivid choice of clothing. Martha: yes I make them myself with puffy paint and pipe cleaners. FALLSIAR: Brilliant let's look at your garden.  FALLSIAR: What lovely azaleas. Martha: Oh is that what they are? FALLSIAR: No bitch I pulled that out of my ass. Martha: Oh… Silly you. I didn't know you pulled flowers out of your ass too! FALLSIAR: Moving right along… How do you draw these cool lizards into your garden. Martha: A Lizard!!! EEEK!! Kill it! Kill it now I say!  We had to edit the next part of the interview due to violent content.  "Lizard Killer."FALLSIAR: So Martha how do you keep these flowers trimmed so well. Martha: I don't do that shit grunt work. I leave that to my Hispanic gardener Enrique.  FALLSIAR: Martha what kind of soil do you use?  FALLSIAR: Wait I think I've discovered something.  Martha: Wow! A baby! Let's see…  I could knit it some booties…  OR I could put it in the blender and whip up some fabulous bloody marys. THE NEXT SECTION OF LIVE JOURNAL LIVE HAS BEEN EDITED FOR VIOLENT CONTENT.  Well folks that's the end of this episode it was very sad, but the bloody mary was delicious. Tune in next week to LIVE JOURNAL LIVE. |