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Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
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10:12 pm
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In the 1980s Memphis State University had a basketball player named Baskerville Holmes. Memphis State is now the University of Memphis. I have no idea what happened to Baskerville.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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11:03 am
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Everything was a little off-kilter at work yesterday. Turns out it was Freak Day, and of course I didn't realize it until about 11 p.m. But of course that's the way Freak Day works--you don't recognize it until it's almost over.
One of the weird things that happened yesterday was that I got an e-mail from a guy I grew up with. We were good friends all through school, and though we haven't kept in touch very well, we do touch base from time to time. This time, though, it had been four or five years since we'd talked, and I was beginning to wonder if I was ever going to hear from him again. Last we talked, I was in grad school and he was bouncing around the Southeast from one tech-related job to another. Turns out that he's now in the freaking seminary at SMU. That blows my mind! Not that there's anything wrong with it. =) I dunno, it's just that he was always so warped that it's very hard to imagine him as a minister. This is the guy who drew a intimately detailed, quite artistic picture of a dog fucking a man and passed it around English class just to get a reaction. This is the guy who scored my first hits of LSD. This was the biggest klepto at my school. I mean, I knew his parents were very religious, and I knew that had influenced him in some way, but honestly, the best aspects of his personality and the aspects that would lead him toward the ministry don't seem to be the same. Well, I guess that's not for me to say, really--what the heck do I know? Heck, I thought it was weird when Andrew Martin, the kid who borrowed my pencil to write "Alex Farned sucks his own dick" on the bathroom wall in the sixth grade, became a cop. He could be a fine policeman for all I know. And maybe Jason will be a fine minister.
But it's still weird.
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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6:47 pm
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OK, it can be 10 degrees outside with no precipitation and I can stand my apartment with the heater on fairly low. But when it's 36 and raining outside, it gets fuggin' unbearably cold up in this mug even with the heater up higher. Explain.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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6:34 pm
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Hey, what would be a suitably excellent image to replace this Danzig one with on my server? People keep linking to it on their pages and forums and stealing my bandwidth, so I want to change it so their pages come up with a picture of someone fellating himself or something really good like that. I mean, ya know, not good, but like, totally disgusting, ya know.
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(24 comments | comment on this)
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5:55 pm
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When I interviewed here in Aug. '01, people told me that if I wanted to get a signature taste of New Haven during my trip, I should go to Louis' Lunch for a meal at the supposed birthplace of the hamburger. So, being burger connoisseurs of the first magnitude, mom and I dutifully went over at the first opportunity, only to find on the front door a sign reading:
Closed
for our annual inventory
of spoons
Wouldn't it be DOPE if we could all do that? I'd give anything to be able to cordon off my little area of the balcony and hang up my own sign:
Closed
for my weekly inventory
of red pencils.
Check back later, motherfuckers!
Ah, well. Once I get caught up a little bit at work I'll probably be feeling a little better. I've actually had a pretty productive week so far, mainly because I'm kinda up against the wall on a couple of things and I just have to be. Productive, that is. Of course, then I'll eventually get behind again and soon be wondering what the heck I'm doing here again. That's one of the issues I have to figure out: what about this work thing? There are a lot of good things about my workplace, but I'm pretty burned out on what I'm doing right now, and there doesn't look to be much of an opportunity to get out of it. If I were promoted, that would be good, but there are no openings on the horizon--and honestly, all the people in that job are running at least as fast as I am, and their projects are a lot more complicated and work-intensive. So I dunno. I was thinking about trying a move to New York, but who am I kidding? I'm sinking financially here in New Haven, so I'd pretty much have no chance in the city. I miss the South, and in a lot of ways would like to move back. But I wonder what's there for me. There's practically no book publishing work down there save for a few university presses spread far and wide, and honestly I'm tired of academic stuff. I'd like to work on something where I could put some of my interests and more of my strengths to work. As much as I respect pointy-headed intellectualism, to be perfectly frank I don't give a flaming box of crackerjacks about the moral foundations of politics or hermeneutics or the empirical stance or the first urban Christians (not that what I do requires me to deal with much actual subject matter anyway). But anyway, if I moved back to the South, what would I do? I could do newspaper work, I suppose, but I'm not cut out to be a reporter. If I could be a columnist, that'd be fantastic, but no one's just going to pop a column in my lap. I did enjoy the editorial and layout work I did in college, but I don't know if I could find a job where I could do only that. I dunno, maybe I'll look into it.
I think sometimes about taking some sort of training for web or graphic design stuff. I love fiddling with that kind of thing, but I don't have a lot of formal knowledge--I just fly by the seat of my pants. The coolest thing would be to do something that combines my love of language and ability to write with my more geeky/tinkering side. And it would be awesome if it were fun. Is there anything out there like that?
So yeah, like I said, what's happened lately is only part of what's going on with me. Obviously I'm not too sure where I'm headed professionally. And personally I don't have anything going on. That's part of why I was so disappointed when this relationship didn't work out: though of course I'm tired of being alone, another factor is that I was putting way too much emphasis on it because I wanted something to go right. Something to change. And don't read all this like I'm totally despondent and absolutely miserable. I'm not. I know I'm very lucky to be where I am right now considering where I've been before, and I am quite thankful that things worked out for me to be here. I'm just reflecting right now on the fact that I'm going to have to make some changes if I don't want to get all bummed out and feeling even more trapped.
Despondent. Despondant. That word doesn't look right either way. Fuck it.
I'm gonna go put on War at the Warfield. Who's down?
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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2:43 pm
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Blearrggh. I start feeling a little better about one aspect of my life and then get bummed because I'm spinning my wheels just about everywhere else. I gotta jump-start myself. All donations of money, amphetamines, expense-paid vacations, and mojo will be accepted.
Didn't I make this post about eighteen times already? Geez, spinning my wheels indeed. Just ignore me--I'm sure I'll be your friendly neighborhood clown again in no time.
current mood: blah
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(18 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 1st, 2004
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8:01 pm
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Read some Ham on Rye today. Bukowski fits my mood pretty well right now. Whenever you think your life is going to shit, read some Bukowski, and it'll give you some perspective.
I really don't care who wins the Super Bowl--which is good, 'cuz it doesn't look like anyone's ever going to score. For a few minutes over the last few weeks I sorta kinda halfway jumped on the Patriots bandwagon, but I've soured. I'm a Steelers fan, and the Pats have knocked them out of the playoffs at least once in the past few years, so fuck those jokers. But I have no reason to cheer for the Panthers either. So why am I watching? Cuz I'm an AMERICAN, that's why.
I'm watching a lot of college basketball lately. Usually it's not a real good sign when I'm paying a lot of attention to sports, but what the hell. My Mississippi State Bulldogs are 18-1 and 7-1 in the SEC. We (OK, they) have lost only one game, to Kentucky on a last-second shot. (Of course, that was the one MSU game that I've been able to see on TV.) If MSU won a national championship in a major sport, I don't know what would happen. It would undoubtedly upset some cosmic balance. Which might be a good thing.
Damn, Pats scored. I knew my saying anything against them would bring them good luck. Oh well, drink up, New Englanders.
I haven't done laundry in about three weeks, and I'm completely out of clean clothes that I'd consider wearing. And of course all the machines are in use. Fargin' icehole corksuckin' bastiges. Fuck it, I'll just show up to work tomorrow wearing jammie bottoms and my Jesus Lizard shirt. Yeah.
Ooooh, nice score by the Panthers! Drink up, New Englanders.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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7:33 pm
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Oh my fucking god. Fart-lighting has made it to prime-time TV on a Bud Light commercial.
Did you ever light farts? My friends and I used to do it in our late teens. I mean, we didn't eat Swedish meatballs and beans and stuff for the sole purpose of having gas like some guys, but if the opportunity presented itself, we'd fire one off from time to time.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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7:50 pm
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| Wednesday, January 28th, 2004
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7:36 pm
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4:39 pm
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So yeah, I was running late this morning, and I drove in to work, as I've been doing all too often lately. (Should be taking the bus.) And they towed my fucking car away because of snow removal. (As if they're ever going to remove it.) Oh yes. They got mine along with the cars of a couple of other people in the department, and they were still towing like crazy this afternoon. They must be making a killing today. As if I weren't broke enough, there's another 75 bucks out the window. Incredible.
Calgon, take me away. Quick, someone give me a reason not to go jump in the lake. Oh yeah, any lakes around here are probably frozen over and would only make me break a hip or something. Shit.
This is Charles Lee, the recently appointed president of my alma mater, Misipi State University. Does this man look like he can even read?!? He looks like he should be falling off the monkey bars or something. But then again, perhaps he's just the sort of figurehead a university featuring majors in weed science and turf management needs.
Yes, that's right, folks. Despite everything, I haven't lost the ability to push my own misery out of my mind by making fun of other people. Hooray for me.
I'm so tired of getting spam advertising girls licking horse dick, stroking gorilla weiner, sockkking on bull shlong, etc. Haven't these bastards learned yet that I'm into GOATS, for crying out loud? Oh, god, that reminds me. A while back when I was in a certain establishment that will name remainless (wasn't my idea, I promise), I saw on sale some sort of rubber or latex contraption that was supposed to be . . . well, there's just no good way to say this . . . a sheep vagina.
I do like the pitch in one recent e-mail I got: "One measly dollar, less than the price of a cup of coffee, gets you full access to the most extreme farm porn on the Net. What are you waiting for?" Isn't that cup of coffee bit the same one Feed the Children or something used to use? Who says this country is going down the tubes? When smutmongers mine charities' ad campaigns to hawk beast porn, that's progress, baby. *vomits*
OK, I'm off to play in traffic. Errrr, rather, pick up my car from the garage. Grrrrrrrrr.
current mood: frazzled
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(22 comments | comment on this)
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12:13 pm
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Yesterday at CVS I noticed a box of Phillies Strawberry Cigarillos. I had no idea.
There's snow all over the fuggin' place. I mean, on top of the snow that was already all over the fuggin' place. Snow is weird. I was looking at it this morning and thinking, what IS it?!? How does it form?!? And why is there so stinkin' MUCH of it?!? I didn't come up with any answers. Typical.
Last night I was trying to find an mp3 of "She Done Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat." Didn't find one. I'm beginning to doubt that such a song was ever recorded.
How cool would it be if you could make all of your internal systems accept what you know intellectually? Here's what I mean: I can sit here all day and tell someone else that it's really pointless to seek validation from the affection of others--that self-esteem comes from within, blah, blah, blah. I've heard that a lot, and I've seen enough to believe it. But to accept that knowledge emotionally and put it into practice? Forget it.
current mood: gloomy
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 27th, 2004
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7:24 pm
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12:44 pm
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Another 7-10 inches of snow by tomorrow afternoon. JOY.
Anybody got a rich uncle we can knock off and collect insurance money to start the LJ Farm with? I'm serious about that whole thing. OK, not really, but I could sure stand to get away from my life right now. All serious offers will be considered. =)
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(13 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 26th, 2004
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5:31 pm
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You people rock. Those of you who drink, go out this week and have a beer for me, huh? And a tequila shot. And a slug o' peppermint schnapps. And a bourbon and coke in a plastic Burger King cup. And a kick-ass bloody mary, with or without bacon (but Tabasco is a must). And an Everclear and Kool-Aid. And oh yeah, a mind eraser. And . . . well, you get the point. Sounds like a lot, but you can do it, my homeslices. But for dog's sake, stay away from the Cisco. Even I didn't drink that shit. Well, I did once, only once, right after it came out and people were ending up in the hospital because they thought it was a wine cooler and drank way too much--and I woke up with a chipped tooth. It was AWFUL. It was like drinking alcoholic soda syrup. You know, that stuff that they use for fountain drinks--the really thick, concentrated stuff. Like that, only fruity flavored. Disgusting. And the buzz was the worst. My buddy and I just sat there snarling at each other all night. Wicked, wicked stuff. So yeah, drink up for your teetotalling pal Flea, but don't get with the Cisco if you know what's good for you.
Oooooh, what about the menthol-flavored malt liquors that were test-marketed a few years ag?o Remember that shit? Now thathad to be foul. Could that have been more targeted toward the 'hood? I mean, not to perpetuate stereotypes or anything, but menthol cigarettes and malt liquor are already pretty big sellers in certain neighborhoods, and I can just see a bunch of slimy corporate fucks coming up with the nifty idea to maximize sales by combining the two great tastes in one 40-oz package. Yuck!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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4:25 pm
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OK, quick. I just sent this e-mail to my department:
Subject: RE: new policy for jacket mechanicals
Homies and players,
New checklists are now on file by the copier, yo.
Peace. I'm out.
C-Dawg
And I got this reply:
From: Larry
To: Chris
Subject: RE: new policy for jacket mechanicals
did you used to drive a 16-wheeler by any chance--?
What's that mean??? I don't get it. Is he mistaking my hustla lingo for good-ol'-boy slang? I'm confused.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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3:35 pm
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| Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
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2:10 pm - GRRR
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fuckasses who block my car in my parking spot and require me to take the bus back to work must DIE. Now.
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(7 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, January 12th, 2004
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9:39 am - name that movie
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| Sunday, January 11th, 2004
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2:37 pm
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