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[11 Nov 2001|02:52pm] |
I'm so busy lately. I have a major test in Philosophy of Religion on Monday, as well as a paper due in Epistemology. I'm starting my BIG report on the politics of the People's Republic of China. I'm waiting to get a ton of info from Midwife schools. I've decided that I've hemmed and hawed about it enough. I know I want to be a midwife, and it's time to take the first steps to do so. I'm still gonna go to college, just part time though, it's all I can handle and still hold a ounce of sanity. So right now I have a childbirth education class coming up next weekend, as well as information about becoming a Childbirth Educator, and a Doula training.
Things between me and spikey are strange lately. Spikey and I are both into BDSM, and we had talked about a scene and deicded that we wanted it to happen. However Spikey hates the idea of saying. ..ok..ready..set..go. And Something happened that I didn't want to happen. ..So it's been weird. I think it's returning to normal though.
I've been thinking about Pot lately. I usually just smoke and enjoy it, but I'm torn. I've been doing reading from both the pro-pot and the anti-pot and I'm confused. EIther it's harmless, or it will make you shoot heroin, It's just a plant, or it's a plant as deadly as tabacoo. It's a spritual experience, or it's an excuse to get fucked up. It's not addicting or it is. These are all hard questions. I hate being addicted to things, when I was younger I was addicted to Melatonin because I coudln't sleep. But I don't think that I'm addicted to pot. I enjoy it..and when it's gone..it's gone. I don't sell blood to buy it, I don't beg, borrow or steal money to get it. I think it's just a hobby or recreation. I'm going to have to keep studying up on it.
I've also been thinking about my personal politics a lot lately. I'm torn between a democratic socialist, and a anarchist. Obviously these two ideologies are radically different from each other, and to say that I'm torn between the two makes it sound like I don't understand the core beliefs of either camps. Well I do, and I still think that the chance to have universal healthcare, and free education is a phenomenal idea. But then on the same hand, I belief strongly in self-education. Grace Lewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook changed my life. I honestly would much rather be able to self- educate and have that recongnized.
My mother is becoming a work-a-holic. Everyday I stumble down the steps and she's gone, down to the shop (her business) and doesn't come up until around 6 or 7 pm. I've mentioned this to her, but she says that it's a very hetic time and she's just trying to stay on top of things. I've made the comment that if she stresses herself out too much she'll get sick and then will be extremely behind in everything. But was still gone this morning. so I don't think she listened to me.
I think spikey thinks that because he's transgender I am either embarassed to be with a guy, or that I don't like havingt him as a boyfriend. Niether are true. I'm extremely honored to be in a relationship with spikey. I've never met someone so intuned with their own gender and sexuality. I adore having him as a boyfriend. The only thing that trips me up is if I say to everyone that I am dating a boy that I have betrayed my lesbian side. I think it's important to be open about my sexuality, and to be strong about it. I also think that it is important that spikey knowns how much I love being in a relationship with him and how much I respect him. So to everyone who reads this. I am a strong dyke who is dating a transgeneder man, and I'm happy about it!
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