"Quality when it counts!"

old post

This post is from March 19th, 2001. Its weird that I stumbled across it- it is about 3 years prior to my emergency surgery (which was Feb 2, 2004). Kinda strange.

I'm so tired... but the day is not over yet.
Must. push. on.

Middle school presentations today went well- roudy bunch of 8th graders, but all in all it went well. Presenting for volunteer training tonight, then home to finish updating resume and watch The West Wing season finale. I think Donna will be OK, I sure hope so. God that show has been stressful this season. We purchased season 2 which came out on DVD yesterday. It makes me happy. We also picked up Friends season 7. I LOVE DVD box sets. Anyway that Friends Season is the one where ross dresses up as the Hanukah Armidillo for Ben to represent holidays other than Christmas or something. Anyway its priceless.

*yawn*

Feeling overwhelmed but good all at once. Life is busy with work and fun when I'm not at work. But I'm a bit burned out, and longing for a weekend to sleep in. My mind is racing all the time lately- even when my body is exhausted. I've been sleeping like a rock at night, but having strange dreams that I certianly can't decipher. I wish I had a vacation planned for sometime in the near future. Saddly I don't- but it would be nice to have that time to look forward to. I still don't have much vacation time since I oblitereated most of it after surgery. Hey- surgery was more than 3.5 months ago! It seems like a year ago. *yawn* Anyway I have to have a plan to use my vacation time I have (slightly over 50hrs) before August. But who knows where I'll be in August.

I need to find some energy somewhere to get through the training or else I'll just be rambling and incoherent much like I am now. *yawn* I suppose that food would help but I don't want to spend any $ or leave my desk for that matter. There must be some candy around here somewhere.

I wish my girl would be online to chat with me while I prep for presentations. Ah well... back to it.

I LOVE Will Durst
The only difference between gay and straight is which way your head faces during sex. That's it. And the quality of appetizers at the reception. C'mon, smoky cheddar salmon puffs on foccacia bread with a puddle of caviar, that is not a straight wedding. Anyway, I thought the whole idea was to keep gays from having sex. What better way than marriage do you know to accomplish that?

Events:
-BeckyBerry and I are in a fight. For reals ya'll

-I almost hit a deer on the way to work at 6:45 this morning. *note deer are not smart- when car appears in roadway don't run towards it RUN AWAY!

-Presentation to 140 freshmen this morning went OK but they were a little roudy. Questions about "is it still rape if she says no and I convince her to say yes then we have sex?" really creep me out coming from 14-15 year olds (though I know its a reality).

-told exec.director at current job about applying for other jobs, she was supportive and understanding and wanted to make sure we "make a smooth transition when/if things change". so thats good news.

-getting ready for 5 presentations with students and 1 by myself this week and more than a little anxious about fitting it all in.

- I am in love with the gays in massachusets who are getting hitched. I am so thankful to the people out there who are big risks to make social change. I hope that wedding bells ring for me and mine someday soon and someday in my home state.

Gotta get some stuff done before VCC @ 2.

My busy day...
-Spent the work day up in Bangor at the school-based D.V. meeting which is always good despite the long drive. Its nice to see the people from all the projects and just connect- it makes me feel more sane about my work, which lately has been totally crazy-making. Can we say burn-out much? I definitly need a vacation but don't have one in sight, though maybe I should plan that. Two more weeks and the school year will start to really slow down. No more presentations... and focus will sift from teen dating violence to the 'amazing corn maze' fundraiser.
-Came home for 5.5 seconds before rushing downtown to catch the ferry out to Peak's with Kim and her very southern family for dinner. They were fun- and all seem excited to be here for Kim (even if they are freezing because of the climate shock).
-Took the ferry back and got home around 8, called to check in with my Mom who has sent her baby (my yongest sister) off to Prom for the night *sigh*, then Becky Berry came by to help us blow... balloons while we made food for the party.
-And now- I am looking forward to celebrating Kim's graduation tomorrow. I remeber how she was there for me on my graduation and I'm glad we get to throw her a party and really do it up for her.
So those are my stories... and now it is time for bed - my shoulder is causing lots of pain so bring on the advil and sleep!
G'night ya'll <---- southern drawl...
is that how you spell drawl? Regardless I like it.

Update from Howard Dean's new project - Democracy for America.
This is excellent work- I would like to run with the support of this agency some day in Maine. That would be cool.


( the dean dozen )

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?

More on my buddy Michael Moore and the battle with the bastards at Disney
( When You Wish Upon A Star... by Michael Moore )

Fucking Disney-
If I was Disney I'd be a little smarter about something that is going to make them money. Hello Disney- You haven't had a successful cartoon since the fucking 'Lion King' or something.

Censorship is out of control in this country. I hope Michael Moore finds a way to have the film seen with or without Disney getting their heads out of their asses.
I'd do a showing at my house- I can't wait to see this film, I guess we'll wait and see what happens.

( Disney Has Blocked the Distribution of My New Film... by Michael Moore )

I got this link from Roy... try this
what it said for me is crazy accurate... crazy
( Read more... )

Try It Colorgenics mood test

Holly is putting the kiddo down for bed. 3 year olds do that early you see.
I have realized that I know NOTHING about children. Actually I already knew that- but now I know it for sure. Its impossible for me to think about having kids (at least at this point in my life) because I am way to much of a kid as it is.
Becky said that kids ask over 300 questons a day. This kid is at least at 3000- and the day is not over. Here is an example of an interaction with him today.

Kid- Whats this?
Me- a finger pupet- you put it on your finger.
Kid- Why
Me- because its fun. (showing him)
Kid- can I eat it?
Me- (laughing) No
Kid- Why?
me- because its plastic.
Kid- Why?

haha-- lol
Teens I can handle but 3-year olds... thats a different story.

Anyway I think I gave him to much pudding and I'm sure Holly is cursing my name as we speak. He's a teenie wieenie bit wound up. My bad.

I like this little guy a lot though- and he is totally a chick magnet. Not that I'm lookin' but I'M JUST SAYIN'.

Okay well if the fact that Holly and I have both posted this evening about adventures with the 3-year old tells you anything- its that we're going to be OBSESSED with our kids once we do have them. I did like pretending he was ours today, I hope he had a good time- it seemed like it. Maybe if I wasn't afraid of kids then I'd be better at being around them.
The best parts of the day were 1)laying in the hammock with Holly and kiddo in the middle, enjoying the sun and reading kids books. How cute is that? and 2) hearing the excitement shriek that kids make, as our kite divebomed strangers heads. It was funny as hell but laughing along with him probably didn't set a good example.

Alright-- time for TV.

*note* when you put organic- wheat free, dairy free, gluetin free frozen waffles in the toaster oven... DO NOT LET THEM BURN. Its gross- more gross than other waffles burning I think maybe.

I had so much fun with my friends last night. I laughed so much my face still hurt when I was going to bed.
We started out at the Take Back the Night march/rally, and then moved on to Sillys where we ate for hours, then the comedy really began. Ahhh memories. It was a really good way to end the work week and start the weekend.

Today will be a different kind of fun. Helping my dad do some work and then helping Holly kid-sit the 3yr old! (I was thinking he was 5- clearly I know nothing about children). As long as I can convince this little one that I too am a kid- we'll be allll set.

It looks like its going to be another beautiful day. Good news all around.
Well I gotta run.

Dear Becky,
"I WANT YOUR JUNK"
xo,
B

Rex (the cat) and I just spent about a half an hour in the hammock together enjoying the sun. She slept and I did paperwork. She started to get overly involved with some ants on a tree- at which point I decided it was time to come inside.
It is warmer outside than inside right now- in the 70's and so nice.

I wish I didn't have to finish all of this work- and I wish my girl wasn't at work so we could go play outside. Hopefully we'll get to do lots of that this weekend.

*sigh*
Back to work I suppose- or maybe a lunch break.

Those are my stories.
go outside people...

I'm having one of those quarter life crisis kind of days.
Everything feels in transition, and in progress. Though its definitely not all bad- its hard when nothing is settled, nothing is secure and security seems to be all that I can dream about.

It feels like a lot of my friends out there are feeling this way too. Not that I ever thought this was an uncommon experience- but it gets very frustrating at times and some days I'm better at dealing with it than others.

Its all so tumultuous right now though I don't know exactly why. I guess I'm just spending to much time driving and thinking when I should just listen to music.
( what I really want )

Ahhh yes... the weekend.
Anyone know if the weather is going to improve? I want to BBQ tonight- but I'd like it to be a little warmer and a little sunnier.

I'm sad that its the weekend because this weekend marks the end of school vacation and so for me at work- it means things will get crazy again until Summer. But there is a whole weekend ahead of me- and hopefully lots of fun.

For the past two days I've been out walking behind our house. There are these great trails out there- its so much fun. Day before yesterday we walked further than we had before and wound up behind this old quary that is no longer in use. Its sort of cool- I don't know why I think its so neat- it just is. Anyway from the top of this one hill you can see the ocean on one side and mountians on the other. I LOVE PORTLAND. Seriously- its the coolest city.
Anyway these trails would be a great place to walk a dog. And I'm very excited because Holly and I are beginning to search seriously for a weimeraner. We met a 8 week old boy weim last weekend and were both in love. Now that I've got Holly hooked on the breed we're in buisness.
We've finally found some contacts of breeders and rescue networks here in Maine and New England. The hard part is I really want a puppy- but since Weim pups run close to 1000$ its more realistic to think about older dogs. Ideally I still want a young dog- 6 months to a year old. I want a dog that will grow up with us, even if its not a baby.

Having a weim will be like a dream come true I've wanted one for SOOoooooooooooo long.
SO GO GET BUSY BEE!!!!!!!!
We bought dog toys and dog dishes at the christmas tree shop yesterday. weeeee


Today- activites are wide open but there is talk of going out tonight. Imagine- being out on the town two weeknds in a row! Watch out portland.
Finally here is a recent picture of Holly and I on Erin and Janelle's portch last weekend. Notice how long my hair is- easily 3 times as long as its ever been for like 5-6 years now.

My girl is away for a few days. Tonight is the second night without her. Its weird that in over two years I could probably count the nights we've spent apart on one hand. But its a good thing in a way- its nice to miss her, to have that much time between to just miss her.

I spent the evening with my sisters. I don't know what everyone else out there has for relationships with their siblings, but I can't imagine not having Elyse and Erin in my life. They are such awesome people, and just fun to be around. We played "tennis" which was pretty funny and then made dinner.
Its funny how the relationship I have with them has changed so drastically in the past 5 years. In reality (for me) I think it completely changed the day I left for college. It was like all of a sudden I got it- like what it means to have siblings and how important they will be in my adult life. I'm rambling at this point- but I'm just so greatful to have them.
So played with E&E; for the afternoon when I came home from work. Now I know I need to do laundry- and in theory West Wing is on at 9- so there is more entertainment.

Tonight Kim works the overnight- so I have the whole house to myself. I don't know if this has happened ever.

blah blah blah...
Does anyone know how to tell if a cat is sick? I mean other than something really obvious- Rex woke me up twice during the night with these intense sneezing fits. I tried to listen to her breathing but everytime I do she just purrs a lot so I can't hear if she is congested or something. Maybe she has allergies like me. She has been eating so I know that piece is OK. I think I'll just keep an eye on her- she seems OK though. Less sneezing from what I can tell this evening.

Okay- time to start the laundry. Wee...

Well its been a brilliant weekend already- and I worked yesterday and don't work again until Wednesday. I definitely needed a little break- even just an extended weekend.

Went to a cookout yesterday which was nice, and then dancing for a while at fisters... it was a good time. It was an interesting mix of people, but it was cool to get to chat with new and old friends all at once and just hang out.
I got to pay Frisbee for a few which was really good- I need to start kicking my butt into gear so I'm less out of shape and ready for the summer league.

I am so wanting new ink. So I need to work on my tattoo design ideas and start to get something concrete. Also- I should just make an appointment with sanctuary to get it done. They can take a while to get into, and I definitly want to go there.

Anyway so far today we've been out to breakfast in so.po. Even right on the ocean its still very warm out- hellooooooo spring. The sun is just brilliant today. Holly and I are going to get compost and borrow my Uncles rodotiller to till the garden and get that organized. Really- its Holly's thing I'll just help with the logistics. But I'm excited to have things growing, veggies and flowers.

Later today perhaps playing with friends -- whatever it is I'm sure it will be good fun.
That is all-

I always try to start an entry with meaning, to tell an actual story but then I delete it all. Maybe its all meant to stay with me.

SO... I've been thinking a lot lately about getting another tattoo. I'm ready- its been years since the first one.
The problem is- I can't find or design something on my own that seems to make sense.
I know I want to do it on my right shoulder/upper arm- so it would have to be relativly small due to my skinny monkey arms.
Does anyone have any ideas?
Maybe I can combine ideas.

Some of the ideas I'm thinking about for it are some kind of symbol or something that symbolizes peace but not like a peace sign or anything lame- and I definitly need to have it be a one of a kind type thing.

For a few years now I've been carrying around a celtic trinity symbol in my wallett- which I still want on me someday but not in that spot and I want something there to balance out the butch blue star on my left wrist.

Common I know there are some artists out there-- give me some ideas.

Any Portland residents out there interested in playing Ultimate? I'm gonna play this year- the summer league is huge, but I think it will be really cool. Everyone I talk to who does it loves it and says nothing but good things. I wish I knew some people with a team to join but I guess I'll just go for it anyway.

Alright... time to work on dinner I guess.

BAH
I hate the end of the month, I hate paperwork!
My desk is a total disaster. I have't spent more than 20min here all week. In order to do paperwork I must clean the desk. All of this hurts my feelings.
I want to be at home today- doing yard work and watching the L-Word.
At least the weekend is only a few more days away.

I'm trying to let my hair grow out a little. Its been about an inch and a half for years so I'm trying to grow it out just a little- have less of a 14-year old boy look happening but DAMN I hate growing it out. It looks like shit!

Someone please wave a magic wand and fix all the things that I can't in my life, and also please make the paperwork be done. Just getting started is the worst part.
I need to learn to not procrastinate so much!

DAMN IT TIM HORTONS!
Why can't I roll up the rim to win?
100 Panasonic plasma TV's... and none will be mine today. DOH!

You know losing coffee just doesn't taste as good as winning coffee.

This day has started off all wrong.

*yawn*