Scott gets big props.

Everyone's heard of the Instalanche, that massive number of internet hits your web server takes after a mention by Glenn Reynolds on Instapundit.

Well, Scott Ott better hold onto his butt, as ScrappleFace is about to be Limbaugh-lanched. This is pretty rare: Rush Limbaugh making mention of a specific blog on his show. He mentioned ScrappleFace about halfway through the second hour today, so I expect the tidal wave to last most of the afternoon at least. I tried to get there a couple of minutes after he mentioned it, and could not get through.

Apples falling from trees.

Well, I see another member of the Osbourne family is following in the steps of ol' Dad. I suppose if some research organization wanted to prove a genetic disposition to drug addiction, they wouldn't have to look much further than this family. One should pity this family to some degree, now that not only Ozzy, but both his kids have problems with substance abuse of some kind. Add to that Sharon Osbourne's battle against cancer, combined with the burden of having to save her husband and kids from self-destruction.

In spite of all that, I have a serious problem knowing that this family was once celebrated with their own television show, that one of them still hosts a talk show (though one has to wonder who watches it), and that their lives have become so globally entwined in the culture that this information is worldwide news at all. If the Osbournes were any family other than that of Ozzy's, these stories would be something you hear about whispered at the coffee machine at the job or spoken of in hushed tones at school or church. You know, that dysfunctional family from the other street who can't seem to keep from stepping in it in some way; the family you pray never moves next door to you.

Now, that would be something to celebrate.

Keep Out

Time to perform a public service.

I've noticed a number of get-rich-quick, MLM-type internet scam sites in my referral logs. I know this has become a problem in the blog world, so I'm going to take a little action.

The following sites and IPs have turned up in my logs. Grab these IPs and add them to your IP ban list NOW. Let's put a stop to this crap.

• http://www.gottapays.com/ -- 66.246.86.118
• http://www.overmatrix.com/ -- 66.98.206.51
• http://www.riskfreegains.com/ -- 66.246.86.118

Please note that the first and third one are the same host address. I love getting visits to my site, but these are hits I don't need. Cretins.

Dredging the Bottom.

Is this what things have come to? The Bush White House is now under attackby John Dean for being too secretive? John Dean? I'm trying to imagine someone who might have less political influence, and even less credibly, than a guy who did time for lying about the most famous cover up in American political history. Does John Dean really believe that anyone other then the folks at Indymedia or Democratic Underground give a damn about his opinions of the current White House, something about which he likely knows very little? Yes, I know, he's a former Washington insider who has connections with friends in the highest reaches of government. This is what the Dems will say when they start touting this guy's rantings. I can hear it now: He was at the elbow of a Republican president, and he's probably a still a Republican!.

As though that gives the guy any cred. Please note the reason for these allegations from Mr. Dean: he's selling a book. Hey, Kettle, this Pot calling. You're black.

Moving Violations

I rarely post quizzes or the results of same on here, but I couldn't resist the urge to try this one (hat tip to Jay for the link). In complete violation of the School of Paul via Anna:

The best kept secrets.

As often as you hear stories about big lottery winners who wind up broke, it's interesting to hear about this winner who will undoubtedly remain wealthy. The gentleman in the story waited nearly a year before claiming a lottery prize worth $23 million, explaining that he wanted to get his affairs in order before he claimed the money.

I pondered about how enjoyable it would be to string something like this out for a while. I can imagine how much fun it might be to go about your daily routine, working, paying bills, interacting with family and friends, even perhaps looking over some of the things you might want to buy with that money, all the while remaining patient and secretive. I also believe there's something deeper you'd consider as well. Perhaps taking time to actually think about those purchases before acting on impulse might give one the opportunity to re-think the difference between want and need. Despite the size of the winnings, that's a finite amount of money that could easily be pissed away in short order. The ability to do this has been demonstrated time and again by celebrities, musicians, and other lottery winners who have gone from riches to rags in record time.

Sure, that is a nice house, but do I really need one worth $500,000 or $1 million when something smaller will do? Does it make sense to drop hundreds of thousands on exotic cars, jewelry and other luxuries when one can live an comfortable life, safe in the knowledge that they can enjoy some extras, take care of family and friends, be extra charitable, and perhaps invest in something that produces more income and even jobs for others? That sounds like a neat way to live. I hope I can have that experience. And I think Mr. Sobeski will be enjoying his windfall for a very long time.

Get to bed. Now.

So this is the level to which we have sunk. The Florida kid who was videotaped nodding off during a speech by President Bush was feted on David Letterman's show last night. Now, I'm not going to go as far as to say that this another effort by the television networks to embarrass the President. But is it really necessary to drag this kid all the way to New York, just to have a few laughs over this? I'm sure the kid, Tyler Crotty, experienced the most exciting thing in his life by appearing on nationwide TV, and he was honest about just why he couldn't stay awake for the Pres (he claimed he was so excited the night before, he couldn't sleep). And President Bush, to his credit with his great sense of humor and self-deprecation, acknowledged the young man's sudden "fame" with a nice note.

I'm sorry. If that had been my child, late night before or not, I would have been mortified. I don't care what your execuse is --if you're sitting behind the President of the United States in front of an audience, you better bite your cheek or squeeze your toes in your shoes or do something to keep you eyes open. Either that, or asked to be moved. I'm not ready to have my fifteen minutes as the father of the kid who decided to take a nap while the President was addressing the rest of the school and a bunch of news cameras. You're grounded, kid, and no Playstation for a month.

Use that spell checker. Watch for the sequel.

This message is for the pinhead doing searches for sites discussing The Passion of the Christ.

The man's name was Jesus Christ, not Jesus Crist. Somehow, you used the following search terms and arrived here:

1. the passion of the crist
2. the passion of crist
3. passion of the crist antisemitism
4. movie passion of the crist
5. the passion of the crist 2
6. passion of jesus crist
7. opinions about the passion of crist
8. the passion of the crist based on
9. gibson the passion of crist
10. passion of the crist film

This is from the search phrase log for April. That's a total of two days. And since the log was generated at about 2:45 this morning, it's really only one day. I wonder what the meaning of the digit in item number 5 on the list is supposed to indicate? Does this guy know about a sequel in the works already?

Can you imagine what the ad campaign for The Passion of the Christ 2 would sound like? Especially if it were produced and directed by some second-rate studio in some kind of gothic/horror genre?

Actually, I could see it as The Passion of the Christ 2: The Revenge of Jesus. The ad would show the empty tomb with the stone rolled away. Then a voice-over:

He was arrested, tried and convicted for speaking the Truth. He was tortured, beaten, and executed, His hands and feet nailed to a board. Three days later, He returned from the dead. Now, He's looking to even the score. Don't miss the wrath of our Lord in The Passion of the Christ 2: The Revenge of Jesus. Rated R. Now Playing Everywhere.

A duck is a duck.

This news is about a week old, but I can't help but wonder what these boneheads on Brazil were thinking last weekend. Look at the photo in this story. Can you tell me what that thing hanging over the ocean off the coast of Brazil might be?

Now, I work with Navy meteorologists, but I'm not one, and I don't pretend to be one, even with my past successes at predicting tropical storm activity. But even I could tell that the system pictured in the photo (or in the larger image available on this page) has everything required to be a hurricane: cyclonic formation, well-developed eyewall and winds that exceeded 75 miles-per-hour. So, what was it about this storm that prevented the Brazilian authorities from preparing their country for the damage that followed when this system came ashore? That damage included three dead, 2000 estimated homeless, and over 9000 people forced to evacuate. In what has to be the week's most incredibly stupid quotes, the Brazilian weather experts were still not convinced the system was a full-blown hurricane, even after buildings were knocked over and bodies were being plucked from the sea:

"The system that hit Santa Catarina this weekend was not a hurricane," Brazil's National Space Research Institute said in a statement Monday, arguing that it didn't behave like a hurricane.

"This system was totally different from anything we've ever seen here," said Laura Rodrigues, a meteorologist at the Santa Catarina state weather bureau. "It may be that it was neither a hurricane nor a subtropical cyclone, but rather something completely new."

Didn't behave like a hurricane? Totally different? WTF, people? Look, I know that this kind of storm system is extremely rare in the south Atlantic, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, you don't rename it or think it's something "completely new." Trust me, it was a frickin' duck. Next time, pay attention to the quacking, huh?

Smoking is bad for you. Ask my dad.

I could have told these Cambodian police that stuffing robbery suspects full of bananas to make them confess wasn't a good idea.

When I was a young, wild teenager, my did used to get really pissed if he caught me smoking. One time, he sat me down in the back yard and made me smoke one cigarette after another from a pack I purchased. I recall they were a brand called True, and they had these plastic filters that gave the smoke a funny taste.

As you might expect, after about the tenth straight cigarette, I turned green and barfed like an old dog. That taught me a lesson...for about a week. This event took pace around 1969 or so. I eventually did give up cigarettes for good. That happened in 1989, after a dozen or so unsuccessful attempts of various lengths. I know my dad is proud.

How dare we inconvenience these people?

The socialist Hollywood glitterati were at it again last night. The usual suspects showed up at a $1000-per-plate fundraiser for John "Lurch" Kerry at some Beverly Hills mansion. Things apparently didn't go well, with reports that the guests had to wait on lines among crowds as they found difficulty getting at the food and drink. Boy, I guess life really is different among this bunch, considering that things like waiting on line and fighting crowds are part of everyday reality for the rest of the United States.

During the exodus out of Green Acres, the event reached a nadir when, in a frenzied rush to find an available shuttle, one Kerry supporter shouted, "That's why we are not running the country because we can't even organize a party."

No, retard, the reason you're not running the country is because you're a bunch of actors who are barely qualified to run your own lives. You see, if any of you spent any time examining the political reality of things in America, you would be running from Lurch as quickly as you can. But, since you're too stupid to do that and you insist on giving him money, you're getting what you deserve. Do you really think the rest of your political party is excited about having this guy running against Bush?

I also know why the crowd was making the difficult "exodus out of Green Acres."

In his half-hour speech, which elicited several standing ovations, Kerry highlighted key differences between his position and those of the Bush administration. "We are here to mark the beginning of the end of the Bush presidency," he said.

A half-hour of John Kerry speaking? God Almighty, I'm surprised they didn't have a mass suicide. I'm sure the "standing ovations" were the result of a lack of chairs. Imagine this: a big soiree at a Hollywood mansion, with too many people showing up, bad transportation, difficulties getting food and drinks, lack of servers...and then top all that off with a 30-minute recitation by Kerry about how bad things are in the country. Does anyone else see the irony here? And, to think these people had to write a check for a thousand bones just to put up with all that...horror. Then it got worse:

The evening was capped by a performance from singer-songwriter James Taylor

I'm afraid I wouldn't wait for the shuttles to get me out of there. In fact, even if I had just crashed the party, I'd be crawling over broken glass to get my ass to my car.

By the way, Kerry was right about one thing: this is the beginning of the end of the Bush presidency.

In 2008.

A rose by any other name...

What goes around, comes around. Back in the early 60's, the concept of Smell-O-Vision was introduced in a few movie theaters to enhance the film-viewing experience. The idea stunk. (Sorry...)

Now the concept appears to be returning in a Japanese-developed technology called the air cannon, a device which is able, allegedly, to shoot specific aromas at someone without disturbing the olfactory equipment of anyone else. The uses for this device are staggering. Now, instead of those obnoxious sales people who insist on spraying you with some hostile perfume when you enter Bloomingdale's, it can be done from a distance, and secretly. This will lower the chances that some perfume spraying fool will get bitch-slapped in the middle of the cosmetics department.

I can think of a couple of other uses for this. Have an obnoxious party guest that just won't leave? Fire off some of that dog sh*t smell in his direction...that will convince him to hit the road. Does you wife's cooking leave something to be desired? No problem...just load up on "Mom's Holiday Lasagna" and hit your dinner guests with a secret broadside before your better half serves up the meal. Men: you can even get the girl and save money on those pesky water bills and deodorant costs. Right before you slide next to your new honey on the sofa, give her a secret taste of the latest cologne or soap male body wash. You can go for months without wasting water in the shower or buying those expensive roll-ons and sticks for the pits.

This could even be used in the political races. The Bush people could put together an ad showing John Kerry giving a speech. Then, at specific moments in the ad, they can shoot off a series of undesirable aromas, like cow manure or rotting corpses. I don't recall anything that prevents that in the campaign finance reform laws.

New crap: it doesn't smell as bad as the old crap.

Microsoft, at the urging of the boss, Bill Gates, now has a new way of promoting the quality of their products. Where most companies tout the features of their products or why their offering is superior to the competition, the software giant takes a more novel approach.

Their claim to fame is now to explain that their new products are less crappy than their old ones. This new "honesty" approach is refreshing in a world where bragging about quality is just old hat. I suppose Microsoft really can't discuss their competition, as they certainly believe that they don't have any. The only thing they focus on is that only six potential critical security vulerabilities were found in Windows Server 2003 over a specific period. This means some script kiddie only had six chances to crack someone's system and steal piles of credit card numbers to sell to Russian mobsters. That this number was down from fourty cracks and holes in the previous version can be very reassuring, can't it?

I know I feel better.

Hornung: Open Mouth, Insert Cleats

Do you remember the major stink raised over Rush Limbaugh's comments about Donavin McNabb on the ESPN Sunday NFL show last September? Limbaugh made a completely legitimate comment about how the media propped up McNabb and added the idea that his race might have had something to do with that support. You would have though Limbaugh dropped a load of n-bombs on the air based on the reaction that followed two days later. Limbaugh chose to leave the show rather then add more controversy to the issue, and the show was the poorer for his departure.

Well, kids, you ain't see nothin' yet. Former Green Bay Packer great Paul Hornung has really stepped in it, and in a much bigger way than anything Limbaugh might have said. Hornung stated in an interview that his alma mater, Notre Dame, needs to lower its academic standards in order to bring black atheletes to the school to play football.

Curious about his comment, I visited the Notre Dame website and looked at the roster for the Spring in 2003, which was the most current one on the site. The team's guide had the bios of fourty players, and among them, I counted twenty-five black players on the roster. According the the math I learned way back when, that's about 63% of the team.

So, based on what Hornung is saying, I have to assume that be believes that Norte Dame must recruit really stupid black players, or at least really stupid players who are better football players. I suppose it's a difficult thing for Irish Coach Ty Willingham to have to teach smart black players (and those smart white boys, as well) how to play at a level that allows them to compete with the nation's top teams. I can't imagine what the university is thinking by keeping their academic standads so high for their student-players, no matter what their color.

Paul seems to conveniently forget that in 1956, his Heisman Trophy year as the Irish QB, his team went 2-8. My guess is back then, most of those boys were probably pretty white. I hope that education he received helps him realize that the smart thing to do right now is drop out of sight, because he's really going to get it for that crack. Unfortunately, he's going to deserve what he gets.

Switching to Linux?

Here's something great. I spew a lot on this site about how superior I believe Linux is as a desktop operating system. I rag Windows a lot, too, even though I have to use it on the job, and there are some things I like about it from an administrators viewpoint. But the rash of security issues with Windows over the years has forced a lot of people consider or examine alternatives. Considering that nearly all viruses, worms, and trojans take advantage of vulnerabilities in Windows, it doesn't surprise me that many are looking for something different.

Naturally, anyone who's worked in Windows for a long time would be apprehensive about leaving a familiar, comfortable environment, especially after learning how to use specific software and system functions. I can fully understand why someone who just needs to use a computer for routine tasks might be nervous about switching to something they've never used before.

The great site Tom's Hardware Guide has posted a detailed introduction to migrating to Linux from Windows. Part one has been posted at the above link, and covers many of the initial steps you need to follow in order to begin the migration. The author of the guide, Humphrey Cheung, has don't an outstanding job on something the should be looked at as a public service for the computer user community. If you're even slightly considering Linux, read this information now.

Yankees crushing Devil Rays; Cell Phone Wavers Chased

I have to get out of here early for a change, but the Yankees are currently leading Tampa, 12-1 in the seventh. Jorge Posada has hit two 3-run homers, and Hideki Matsui also crushed one for his old home crowd. Godzilla also struck out with the bases loaded in the Yankee seventh. Kevin Brown started and is wrapping up as I type this. He's looked pretty sharp.

Another interesting this I noticed about this Japanese park where they're playing. If you try to get the seat area behind home plate so you can call someone on your cell phone and wave at the camera, they send someone down to gently chase you away. Watching this one idiot being shooed off by some girl was prettty funny.

Side effect or benefit? You decide.

The best part of prescription drug commercials is the segment where they tell you, in a low voice and often very quickly, what the possible side effects of the medication might be. They always list headache, back aches, insomnia, dry mouth, and a plethora of other "mild" maladies that replace the problem the medication is supposed to correct. After hearing what can go wrong with the product, I can't imagine even bothering to cure the original problem.

Then I heard something interesting in an ad for one of the many new erectile dysfunction (or is that "male enhancement") products now competing with Viagra. near the end of the ad (you know the one, with the man and the woman in the his-and-hers outdoor bathtubs), they announce the side effects, then reveal another interesting...er...possibility when taking this pill. Here's how they describe it, right from the drug manufacturer's web site:

The most common side effects...were headache and upset stomach. Backache and muscle ache were also reported, sometimes with delayed onset. Most men weren't bothered by the side effects enough to stop taking [the product]. Although a rare occurrence, men who experience an erection for more than 4 hours...should seek immediate medical attention...

What?!

What was that last part? Four hours!? Hokey smokes, if this stuff causes something like that to last four hours, I'd wonder if that's really a problem. I'd have to guess that there would be plenty of "partners" who would be grateful for an occasional situation like that.

Here’s a bunch of sh!t I’m posting so maybe (certain) people will link back to me...
or How To Be A Blogger, the Finale

Paul at Sanity's Edge has added the last, and best lesson in his on-line school on how to be a blogger. The odd title above is meant to use the examples used in his lesson today, even though he linked to me a long time ago. What the hell...you have to be a link whore every now and then, right? Now, where's the link to that breakfast cereal quiz?

A tough claim to make.

Lest I be accused of being a hard-headed, uncompassionate right-wing fascist, I can't help but fell the greatest sorrow for the widow of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, who was murdered in Pakistan in January 2002 by Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, one of the former leaders of Al Qaeda. Mariane Pearl, the reporter's widow. was pregnant at the time of her husband's murder with their son Adam.

But, as much as I could try to understand the full sorrow and loss she suffered, I can't agree with the claim that she should receive benefits from a September 11 victims fund. The claim filed on her behalf states that since the fund was designed to compensate the victims of terrorist attacks by Al Qaeda, specifically those of September 11, 2001, that compensation should also be considered for other Al Qaeda victims before and after September 11. The problem is that by allowing this claim to be paid, it extends the scope of the compensation to a point where anyone with the most specious association to September 11's events or Al Qaeda will be claiming they deserve a chunk of that pie.

Now, let me state with no uncertainty that I'm not accusing Mrs. Pearl of trying to take advantage of the fund or of the generous nature of the American people. Considering the situation she was thrown into, I could empathize and would even consider at least testing the limits of that compensation's distribution, which is what her lawyers appear to be doing. But, if her claim is successful (and other similar claims have already been rejected), I fear it would open the floodgates for every crackpot who thinks he's owed something for some kind of collateral damage. Things are bad enough when people make false death claims against insurance companies, like the two detailed on this page. My fear is that a successful claim by Mariane Pearl would just drive more of these cretins out from under their rocks.

Those with a generous spirit might want to assist Mrs. Pearl and her son in some way. She wrote a book about the quest to find her husband's terrorist killers. A Might Heart is available at Amazon and other booksellers. You can also contribute to the memorial trust fund established In Daniel Pearl's name for Mrs. Pearl and her son.

Can't some things be left as they are?

Today, I saw sacrilege.

The Yankees, in Tokyo to open the baseball season against Tampa, agreed to wear advertising logos on their uniforms. In the 100 year history of this ballclub, the team never even added the players' names on the uniforms. In fact, the Yankees were the first team to add numbers to the backs of uniforms, which they did in 1929.

There was a big deal made over whether or not the Yankees would wear their familiar pinstripes while on the Japanese visit, something the fans there really wanted to see. Tampa was set as the "home" team in the two-game series, but MLB agreed a couple of weeks ago to allow New York to wear the stripes. I thought this showed a respect and love for the history of the American game on the part of the Japanese fans, and admired them for their request to see those outfits.

So, what did I see slapped on the batting helmets and one of the sleeves of each player's uniform? A logo for Ricoh, the copier/printer manufacturing company. All this time, I was propping Japan up for their baseball respect, and someone comes along and slaps a mini-billboard on the most familiar sports uniform in the world. Ugh. I can't wait for them to get back over here.

By the way, in case you missed, Tampa took the first of the two games this morning, 8-3.

Told you so.

My wife's sister works for one of the gigantic music companies. She works in human resources and has recently had to do some unpleasant tasks as this company makes some personnel cuts. The blame has been placed on "music downloading," which has allegedly cut into sales so badly that people have to lose their jobs. When I contested this fact with my wife, she demanded to know what I thought the problem was. My response was that the record companies turn out so much horrible crap that sales can't help but be bad. But what about ***** *****, she said, naming a very popular artist on one of the company's labels. My retort was that one artist can rarely carry an entire company, especially not in the long term.

Apparently, I may have been correct, at least partially. A study by two universities has determined that over a 17-week period, music downloading from the internet had literally no effect on CD sales. Which means that one of two things is happening: either downloading music from the 'net encourages people to buy the CDs by those artists, or the larger-selling artists on the major labels are still able to carry the load in spite of downloading.

There's a business model in music downloading, and it's not the one being implemented by the current music service by Apple and others. I outlined a plan that I thought would work here last March, so I won't repeat that now. The music industry, with a few simple steps, could make itself a hero of its customers. Instead, they make their customers pariahs by suing and prosecuting them. All the while, the "damage" allegedly being inflicted on them is non-existent, or at least not affecting the bottom line.

Lennie leaving?

I don't know about any of you, but I'm a Law & Order junkie. So, this rumor that Jerry Orbach might leave the show at the end of this season really sucks. In the flagship program of the L&O; franchise, Orbach's portrayal of the sleepy-eyed-cynical-but-occasionally-softie Detective Lennie Briscoe is usually the best thing about the program.

You can always count on Lennie to deliver, at some point in the plot's crime investigation, the "wisecrack," a throwaway line that you can't help but chuckle at, no matter how brutal the crime scene. Cable network TNT, which plays seemingly endless reruns of old episodes, even focuses on the Lennie crack in its mid-show commercial break/show synopsis. The only problem is, they usually wind up using the wrong wisecrack. Show afficianados will know exactly what I'm talking about.

Radio, Radio

I can't think of anything more doomed to failure than this new liberal talk radio network dubbed Air America. I don't particularly disagree with the concept, since having an outlet for both sides of issues is a desirable thing. But, how do the founders of this enterprise expect success when they can't seem to figure out the formula that the conservatives have been using for so long?

I'll give them some answers: there are no shrieking conspiracy nuts (well, maybe Michael Savage), and there are no mediocre comedians who's gig is to call as many people names as possible, and who has to imitate the name of another radio show to get noticed. You also don't put said name-calling comedian on at the same time as the biggest powerhouse in the history of talk radio. Do they even understand why O'Reilly is a distant second to Rush in daily ratings?

The main reason this is going to flop is because they will never draw the number of listeners to allow stations to make any money selling airtime. Don't they realize that radio stations, like every other business, want to make a profit? And that the reason 600-plus stations carry Limbaugh is because he sells airtime for more money than practically anyone? The profit motive is just as powerful as the political message, and they haven't figured that out, because they the concept of success and profit is something politically foreign to their way of thinking.

Isn't starting off in the four cities they've chosen like preaching to the choir? Have they looked at the numbers of listeners pulled in by Limbaugh, Hannity and other conservatives in those markets? Then there's the "advice" from the industry expert:

"I think they're going to have an impact politically because radio has never had a daily rejoinder from the liberal perspective."

Not unless you count the major broadcast network news shows, CNN, MSNBC, nearly every large city newspaper in America, and NPR.

"However, talk and news are slow-build formats. A new music station can catch on more quickly because young people are always looking for what's new and hot."

Slow build? Limbaugh went from 56 stations to over 600 in two years. Hannity went to over 400 in a couple of years. Tell me you think that Al Franken is going to have 400-600 stations on the network in two years. Or five. Or ten. One other thing, Tom: young people, for the most part, listen to music on the radio. Yes, conservative talk has it's share of the youth market, but my guess is that's it's a pretty small share. Adults are the market because adults have the ability to listen during the day. Speaking of who listens and what they're doing:

"Hard-core conservatives gather around the radio to listen to Rush. Liberals are too busy having a life for that."

No, dickwad, we're not gathering around the radio. We having a life, too. We work. We listen at lunch. We listen on our days off while working in the house or in the yard. Some listen after hours on this thing called the Internet. Some people tape the shows. I don't know what you and you're liberal friends do "having a life" in the middle of the day, but we're busy, but we find ways to listen. For this, someone pays this shlub a million bones per year?

And as for the contention that the conservative hosts won't be able to resist mentioning the liberal network, I wouldn't count on that too much. Limbaugh is notorious for not even mentioning the names of other conservative hosts very often (even Hannity, who used to sub for Limbaugh before his own show took off). He might make a passing reference to Franken and his ilk, but that will be it. Hannity, Boortz and some of the others will go off on them at the start, but that will fade.

However, I know one time when all of them will have a lot to say about it. That will happen when the "network" shuts down and they're saying goodbye to the parade of whining, sniveling leftists as they leave the air, unable to compete. They don't like competition.

Flipping

Wow. Condoleezza Rice and Charles Pickering on the same episode of 60 Minutes. I wonder if they were feeing guilty after that firestorm over the Richard Clarke interview last Sunday. Especially that part about Clarke's book publisher, Simon and Schuster, being owned by Viacom, which also owns CBS. Nah, probably not.

How To Blog

Paul over at Sanity's Edge has performed a great public service to the potential blogger. In complete violation of the suggestions he makes, I'm going to link to his three-part Introduction to Blogging. Unlike other helpful articles on this topic that you'll find on the 'Net, Paul takes the subject to a new level, one which be appreciated by all bloggers, novice and Glenn Reynolds alike.

Unfortunately, he's either got his lazy ass in the chair watching the TPC or he's been busy playing with his kid, so he's only managed to complete two parts of the promised three. So, here's part one, and part two is here.. You'll notice that the two parts are in sequence, which means I really didn't need to give you both links. And, my guess is that he'll probably finish part three sometime this week, making it the next entry, and making all this redundant. No matter. I'm tring to give the guy whatever meager hits I can offer.

You owe me for the links, Paul.

Shut up already.

We've now had a couple of weeks of public testimony in the 9/11 investigation. Basically, the entire thing has been a bunch of Clinton appointees, especially Clarke and Albright, fabricating reasons why this wasn't their fault, revising history, lying like rugs and selling their books. The Bush folks have been fighting back hard against the allegations that they didn't do enough, and it's basically become a pissing contest in the media.

From my view, here's what I thing we gain from the whole commission when they finish their hearings and release their report: nothing. We will know nothing more than we already know about 9/11, except perhaps for what we should have done or didn't do. The fact is that we probably couldn't have prevented the attacks anyway, since most of the hijackers who participated in the events on that day allegedly didn't know what their mission was going to be until they actually boarded the aircraft, according to evidence discovered after the attacks. How the hell were we supposed to be aware of a plot where most of the perpetrators didn't know about it either?

Naturally, no matter what the findings of this panel are, the kook brigades here and abroad will certainly keep up with the conspiracy theories, including some that include full advanced knowledge of the September 11 attacks by the President and all his advisers. If you don't believe me, do a fast Google search using the keywords "9/11 hijackers knew advance," which I used looking for information about the hijackers. You'll find stuff like this article, which proports that the government flew those planes into their targets by remote control.

Kooks or not, the results of all the commissions in the world will result in only one thing: 19 people flew four aircraft into three buildings and the ground on that day, killing thousands. Hundreds of public servants sacrificed their lives to try to save others. The people to blame for those attacks were the 19 men in the planes, and whoever trained them, funded them and planned their mission. The best thing we can do now is judge what we have done since to prevent another attack like that one. That is all that matters at this stage; listening to people tell stories and revise or clarify history isn't going to bring back the dead.

And what of what we have done since September 11? We've instituted policy, invaded countries, attacked the responsible parties, tried to beef up our national security, and changed the way we do routine things to prevent another occurrence. Whatever one believes about the methods, one thing is certain: they have worked. We haven't had another attack of any type in this nation since, with the exception of a deranged teenager flying a small craft into a building in Tampa. The best thing we can do now is examine what we've put in place and make sure it's working for the right reasons. I have a lot of problems with some of the things we've instituted, such as the implementation of the TSA inspectors at airports and the bureaucratic complexity of the Department of Homeland Security. I have fewer problems with the Patriot Act, since I don't feel it's really as much of a threat to our rights as some make it out to be. However, I would encourage a constant vigilance on the Act and any other laws or regulations that infringe on the rights we have. We need never erase our freedoms by overly restricting them.

Maybe it's time to fold up the dog-and-pony show and get busy working again?

You have the right to remain silent.

The irony in this is certainly no secret: we couldn't get the French to back us up in Iraq, but their lawyers are certainly willing act as Saddam's defense attornies. Despite the notion that he has some kind of international right to a lawyer, what must it be like having to defend someone like a Saddam? I would think one glance at the evidence against him and just a tiny pile of statements from people who survived his oppression, and you'd want to just phone this one in.

I suppose Monsieur Verges will come up with some kind of convoluted defense that will place the blame for everything Saddam ever did at the feet of the Americans. Why not? Everyone seems to be pissed off at us now; adding one more thing won't matter.

Did anyone feel any tremors?

Why didn't we hear about this event when it happened? What the hell is wrong with these people that they can't tell us about this stuff when it happens? I wondered why things in my life have been somewhat...askew...over the last couple of months, and I couldn't put my finger on just exactly what was wrong. Let's get on the stick, huh?

Dreams

I don't place a lot of weight in premonitions, strange feelings or stuff that appears in dreams. In fact, I have to work pretty hard to remember all but the most intense of my dreams, probably because I'm more concerned with just getting off the bed and getting my body in motion for reality.

But I vividly recall some moments in a dream I had last night. I was at a party or gathering with a lot of people, mostly family members. I have a distinct recollection seeing many of my cousins. Then I saw my brother, Tom. If you've read the manifesto or visited Tom's site (which I badly need to update), you'll know that my brother passed away due to cancer in June 2002.

But in this dream, he was alive and enjoying the party, as though he never left. But, I also know that he had already left us, and I couldn't understand why he was there. I knew in the dream he was already gone and that I must have gone back in time somehow. At one point, I tried to take him away from the party, desperate to tell him that he had to do something soon so he wouldn't get his cancer and die. Before I could do that in the dream, I woke up.

When I looked at the calendar this morning, I realized it was two years ago today that Tom called me, as the girls and I drove from Tampa to Macon, to tell me of his initial cancer diagnosis.

More Fun Than Liza and David

I seem to recall that when Rush Limbaugh announced that he had a problem with perscription drugs and was entering rehab, the liberal Rush-haters in this country had a field day making jokes and mocking the man. And to make matters worse, it appears the Palm Beach (FL) County attorney has nothing better to do than continue to go after the man's medical records looking for some kind of criminal activity. Where's the sympathy for a man who struggled publicly with an addiction?

Well, I have a pretty good idea where all that pity is going to go: Whitney Houston. In spite of a recent admission of drug dependency, Houston decided check herself out of a rehab program after only five days. Her reason? According to someone in her "camp", the "walls were closing in on her." My uneducated guess is that she needed a dose of whatever perscription medication she's hooked on. But, if you read the linked story, you can see that the love train for Whitney has already entered the station. Now we're hearing her "spiritual advisor's" take on how the pressures of...well, of just being her...probably led to the dependence on whatever she's been using.

These revelations about Ms. Houston lead me to ask a few questions about Rush. I wonder if he has a "camp" from which statements could have emanated about what his condition was? I don't recall watching his "spiritual adviser" on some morning show, telling us how much he was personally struggling with the pressures of being Rush, and how he was going to deal with those pressures and the difficulty of dependence. Instead, we had to listen to jokes from Leno, Letterman, and every left-wing comedian and commentator in America, plus a barrage of personal attacks from his other enemies, who seemed to take great pleasure in the man's personal struggles. I don't know about you, but having to publicly admit, to millions of people who love and admire you, that you have a human failing and you need to take time off to face it would appear to be a very difficult thing to do. Yet, that's exactly what Limbaugh did. He's also not standing idly by while some prosecutor attempts to invade his medical privacy, and he's certainly taking a public stance on it. I don't see Rush hiding behind his publicist, a spiritual adviser, or a "camp."

As for Houston, I sincerely hope she wins the battle with whatever demons she's facing. This is certainly not a happy time in her life.

But, one thing I can't figure out: how come her husband can't ante up the sixty grand he needs to get his ass out of the slammer in Massachusetts? So he can get back down to Atlanta and figure out how he's going to stay out of jail on the spousal abuse charges? Luckily, he was able to get out of the slam for the DUI charge a few days early, but showing up four hours late for his appearance in Mass wasn't such a hot idea. (Note to self: buy alarm clocks for Bobby and Courtney Love).

Let's be realistic here, okay? I know Brown's career hasn't been the same since he quit New Edition, but for heaven's sake, he's married to Whitney Houston. How many records has she sold in her career? 100 million? I know it's possible to piss away all that jack in a short time if you don't know what you're doing, but I haven't heard of any financial problems from her "camp" lately. Couldn't she just loan the sixty thousand bones to Bobby until he gets that next royalty check from "Candy Girl"?

Man, I'm glad Mrs. Limbaugh hasn't been locked up for anything.

French Intellectualism

I no longer wonder why many people hate the French. Other then leftists, John Kerry, and men who like women with hairy armpits, I see more and more evidence each day that the French have completely lost it, politically and culturally.

The latest evidence is this story of a French film distributor and theater chain owner who refuses to book The Passion of the Christ in his theaters. His complaint about the film is a unique one, one which makes me wonder if he's been hanging out with American war protesters or the MoveOn.org crowd.

"I refused to program the film in my network of theaters," MK2 president Marin Karmitz said in a written statement forwarded to The Hollywood Reporter. "I have always fought against fascism, notably through my exhibition activity. For me, 'Passion' is a film of fascist propaganda."

Of one thing you can be certain: if someone can't think of something nasty enough to insult you, they willl usually use one of two words. They'll either call you a "Nazi" or a "fascist." President Bush has been on the receiving end of that "Nazi" allegation from the anti-war, anti-globalist freaks, which indicates they have no idea what it was like living under a real Nazi. Like those left-wing miscreants, our French friend has somehow managed to equate "fascism" with a motion picture. Let's all do him a favor and look up the definition of the word fascism, shall we?

fascism, n.

1. A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.
2. 2. A political philosophy or movement based on or advocating such a system of government.

OK, fool, do you want to tell me exactly what a movie about a historical religious figure's trial, punishment and execution have to do with the definition above? I suppose if you really stretched things a bit, you could somehow managed to wrap that definition around that movie, but it would fit like a size 6 dress on a three-hundred pound woman. The movie has little or nothing to do with dictators, belligerent nationalism and racism or government, except perhaps for the scenes of Pilate's interaction with Jesus.

I suppose one might could argue the film is racist because it shows the Romans convicting and executing a Jew. But, then there's the argument (also referenced by Monsieur Karmitz, just to get himself on the bandwagon) that the film is anti-semitic because it accuses the Jewish leadership of handing over Jesus to the Romans for punishment. So, who are the racists? The Romans who killed a Jewish man who committed no crime? Or the people who made the film for showing plots against a Jew by other Jews? I'm totally lost now: racist, fascist, nationalist...no wonder the French are so good at these intellectual arguments. They somehow always manage to prevail by totally confusing you.

One might also offer the argument that the Romans were a somewhat fascist governing body, considering how they ruled over the Middle East region at that time. But, how can we even believe that interpretation, since Monsieur Karmitz believes the movie alters history anyway:

He went on to say that the movie is revisionist in the way history is portrayed, with the sound of blows and cries displacing speech.

Huh? The film shows Jesus being beaten and scourged prior to his crucifixion, as the story is detailed in the Gospels. I don't know about Monsieur Karmitz, but being beaten and scourged is a bloody and painful experience, during which one hears the sounds of blows and cries. What the hell kind of "speech" did he expect to hear when a Roman guard struck a man's exposed back with a bullwhip? "Thank you, sir, I'll have another"? Did he expect the Jesus character to be cracking jokes with his executioners as they drove the nails into his flesh?

This film is intended to be one man's visual perspective on an event we believe happened the way it was written two thousand or so years ago. Even if you were to make the entire story up from whole cloth, how else would one visually and aurally depict the torture and death of someone described in this way?

Another thing I'm getting a little sick of from this French asshat and all the other so-called "experts" on this specific event: you have no frickin' idea if any history revisionism took place because no one alive today was there. The records of history for that era are incomplete, possibly inaccurate, or certainly tainted with the individual influences and biases of the people who handed these stories down through the generations. We have to be willing accept that because texts like the Gospels are pretty much all we have to tell us what happened back then. Those of us who's faith rests in the life and words of Jesus are willing to accept that written word, because Jesus' philosophy and the reasons for his death are more important than modern speculations on the specific details of the era.

Finally, I can't finish insulting this guy without reminding him of the capitalist angle. Monsieur Karmitz's competitors will undoubtedly be very happy he's taken such a position on The Passion. No matter what stupid analysis he dreams up, some other distributor will bring the film to the French public, and they'll probably flock to it the way Americans have since it opened earlier this month. Putting all the religious and cultural concepts aside, only an idiot would pass up the opportunity to make the kind of money this movie will make when it hits French theater screens. Like the American public, I'm certain the French public will pretty much ignore the blatherings of fools like Monsieur Karmitz and experience the move for themselves. Then we'll see who has the last laugh.

Carnival #79

Pete is hosting the Carnival of the Vanities this week. No easy feat considering he's busy trying to get into law school while working his way through a computer science program and a math minor. Busy guy.

Thanks for the assistance, uncle.

I'm glad I don't suffer from depression, despite what some of my readers might think. I also pity anyone who requires care and medication to help with depression and to live a full and happy life.

But, I'm a bit concerned about this sudden desire by the FDA to label anti-depressants with suicide warnings. Perhaps I'm being a bit specious (and insensitive, as my wife occasionally accuses when I go off on alcoholics and drug addicts), but aren't the people who take these medications already depressed enough? Does the government really think it's a good idea to hand a bottle of pills to someone who might have already contemplated suicide, just to have them read on the label that taking the medication might cause them to be more suicidal?

Somehow, I don't see this as helpful medical care.

Back when I was studying for my education degree, I learned about the concept of self-fulfilling prophesy, which basically states that if you convince yourself, as a teacher, that a student or students will never rise above a certain level, you'll teach them that way, and they never will, even if they're fully capable of better. You could apply that same principle here: if someone's already depressed, and you tell them that taking a medication just might cause them to consider suicide, they just might do it, defeating the purpose of providing the warning.

Maybe this one really needs to be files under the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Kerry: Making Life's Losers Equal

I thought of a great idea after finishing the story below about Haru-urara, Japan's losingest racehorse. My idea would provide John Kerry with a great campaign concept, as well as that valuable non-American support he so covets.

Kerry could take Haru on as his national campaign mascot! Like most liberals who focus on what's bad rather than what's good, he's going spend a lot of time talking about the weak and troubled for the next seven months. You know, the losers in life.

He can use Haru as an example of how the government just isn't doing enough while the rich racehorses get even richer because the Bush tax cuts provided them with better training and superior conditioning. What we need to do, he'll remind us, is tax the rich horses and create a special purse for the horses like Haru, who finish last. In fact, I believe he should suggest that they divide the purse for each race up among all horses in the race rather than just the typical top four. And, no, we shouldn't divide the purse up equally. We should pay more to the losers and less to the top finishers. Scale the payouts so the worse you finish, the more you win in purse money.

This would be necessary because the losing horses will never have a fair opportunity to win as the alleged better horses do. Yes, I know, the conditions of each race and the local racing secretaries try to make each event as easily matched as possible. The weight the horses carry are adjusted for age, gender, and even how experienced the jockey might be. They group certain ages together. A horse can only enter some races based on the number of wins over a certain number of starts. The theoretical goal is to set up the conditions so that each horse in a field has an equal chance of hitting the wire first. In the purest situation, this would lead to a dead heat of the entire field.

Nevertheless, since the racetrack people are probably all Republicans, their attempts at equality will always favor the faster horses. Animals like Haru will never have a chance. That's why the Kerry Racehorse Purse Readjustment Plan needs to go before Congress and signed by the President. John Kerry is the only man who can do this, and he'll do it in the first 100 days.

Maybe now Kerry will get one of those foreign endorsements. From Haru-urara in Japan.

Go Haru Go!

Now here's a thoroughbred racehorse we can all admire.

In the typically silly way they sometimes do things, the Japanese people have gone ga-ga over an 8-year-old mare named Haru-urara, which translates to Glorious Spring in English. The only problem with this national adoration is that Haru has lost 106 consecutive races. In fact, Haru apparently has only finished in-the-money four times in her legendary career. Yet the people of Japan have taken to her as a national heroine.

The story explains that the Japanese attitude has changed much in recent years due to the countries financial struggles:

Shinji Yoshida, 54, said the horse's popularity shows the Japanese, who grew overconfident during the roaring 1980s, had rediscovered their appreciation for the weak and the troubled during more recent economic hard times.

Aw, isn't that nice?

You know, if I had the means to do it, I think I'd take advantage of this apparent idiocy and open a betting parlor in Tokyo just for betting on Haru. If what this story says is true, the locals would be stampeding to my door, and with this mare's obvious lack of talent, I'd be wealthy after just a couple of races.

I suppose this defines what makes the American culture different from the Japanese and other Asian cultures. We get attached to a horse when it shows flashes of championship potential. Our hearts are caught up with the greatness of those rare animals that stand out among the common: Citation, Whirlaway, Secretariat, Affirmed, Ruffian, Forego, John Henry, Cigar. Even in last year's Triple crown, the country got excited over the chance that a low-priced, New York-bred gelding named Funny Cide was going to win it all away from the big, expensive, high-priced colts with the golden pedigrees. We wanted him to win, and there was great disappointment when he failed in the Belmont.

You could say that both countries root for the underdog. But we want the underdog to do a little more than lose 106 consecutive races.

I have an idea on how I could personally end Haru-urara's record of futility. Set her up in a race that she really has no chance of winning. Give me the past performances of the field, and I'll give you my top three picks. Then, I'll dog the daylights out of Haru. I'll just pile on the disrespect, so much that the Japanese people will want to run me out of town on a rail.

She'll win that race. That's the kind of luck I sometimes have.