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2800 miles later, we are home.

And I am scheduled to talk about my trip on BBC Radio 5 in about 4 minutes!

Tune in, if you catch this in time.

UPDATE: Crap.I put the wrong URL here. That's what I get for trying to race through it in 3 minutes. I'll put up an archive feed if I can find it.

Stupid computers.

I really like The Grateful Dead. American Beauty is easily one of my desert island discs, with Aoxomoxoa narrowly missing the cut (only one record is allowed from each band, unfortunately. You should see the dilemma this has created with Zeppelin.)

I especially love to listen to them live, though I've never wanted to actually attend a show (I don't do well in crowds. Especially mostly-high crowds.) Regardless, I love the Grateful Dead, and their music has often taken the edge off of some othwerwise lousy days over the years.

I've been listening to a live recording of The Dead that was made at Bonnaroo in June . . . and it's really amazing. I could listen to this 28 minutes of Dark Star-China Doll-Dark Star for days.

It got me thinking: the only live recording I have of The Grateful Dead is the commercially-available "Europe '72" (and I can only find CD 2 from that release) and I am hungering for more.

I know that they've encouraged fans to trade live recordings and spread the music since the 60s, so I looked online for an archive . . . but I couldn't find anything that didn't time out.

That got me thinking (I'm writing today, so I'm thinking a lot . . . dangerous stuff, this thinking): I bet, somewhere out in Internetland, there must be a WWdN reader who has some live Grateful Dead recordings that they'd be willing to share. I'll totally pay for the shipping and the costs of CDs, if anyone wants to hook me up. Any takers?

Back to work. Final thoughts on the road trip later today (pictures -- nearly 500 of them -- won't be available for a few days). I need to finish the CruiseBlog, too.

When people come up to me at a convention, they are usually approaching TVSWILWHEATON(I hate that guy), but Mrs. Wheaton's Husband is usually who they meet. This is because TVSWILWHEATON(I hate that guy) just doesn't exist any more, as far as I am concerned. He flew off to some other dimension last year.

(aside: My life is so much better since I saw the difference between TVSWILWHEATON(I hate that guy) and me. It seems so elementary to me now, but it took years for me to understand it -- and it never would have happened without this website. I am so much happier, and so much more content and secure than I was just two years ago.)

While I was at the convention, I was able to do what I do with this website --introduce people who were hoping to meet TVSWILWHEATON(I hate that guy) to Mrs. Wheaton's Husband (who's not such a bad guy after all.) -- on a much more personal, direct, and intimate level . . . and it was awesome. Many people commented to me about the difference between Mrs. Wheaton's Husband, and a certain Big Time Guest who told people (who had paid something like 70 bucks for the opportunity to take a photo with him) "Don't talk to me," so he could race through the huge line and take their money with a minimum of unpleasant interaction -- what a jerk.

There was a time about 10 or so years ago, when I was the jerk. Big time. So I left this convention feeling really happy. I think I gave people their money's worth, and had too many awesome conversations, and met too many awesome people to count.

The convention was fun, to be sure, and I can't wait to go back next year . . . but it was part of an even greater road trip. The road trip there and back is on par with my wedding, or the SpongeBob Vega$ Pants trip, in terms of times-never-to-be-forgotten.

While we were driving East, Anne and I stopped every time something struck us as interesting. We spent 4 days solid together, often separated by little more than an arm rest. We talked about our marriage, the kids, the nightmare their father is putting us all through, and our plans for the near future. We read to each other, sang songs together, took turns napping . . . we were just two people in love, experiencing the open road together. I remember a friend of mine telling me that the long drives he spent with his wife between New York and Florida made all the difference in their relationship. I totally understand what he meant, now.

The drive West was great (and is mostly audioblogged) but it passed far too quickly. I wish we'd had another day, so we could have taken our time, and explored more of Route 66. We'll take the trip again, this time with the kids who I really, REALLY miss right now. They were supposed to come home today, but now won't be back for another week. (see: nightmare, above)

Normally, when I take a trip, I can't wait to get home. After just a few days, I long for the familiarity of my own bedroom and house. I miss the songbirds who sing just outside my window all night long, and the comforting hum of fans in every room. I miss my dogs, and I miss my chair.

This time, when Anne and I turned the final page on our TripTik, I felt sad. I felt sad that our road trip -- our Route 66 Adventure -- was over. I felt sad that we had to return to all the frustrations and injustices of our regular, everyday life. When we pulled into our driveway, I thought I may cry. I wish our trip could have lasted all summer.

If you've got someone in your life who you adore, you simply must spend 2000 miles with them. You'll be glad you did.

Trust me. I know what I'm talking about.

On Thursday, I'll be at the OSCon up in Portland. I'll be mostly running around, getting my geek on, but I'm also dong a couple of organized book signing events.

1. Thursday, 1:00pm: book-signing at the convention bookstore in the exhibit hall.
2. Thursday night, 7:00-9:00pm: book-signing at Powell's Technical Books.

At both events, they're letting me read from Dancing Barefoot, and I'll be signing copies when I'm finished.

Highlights of OSCon (since I've been here less than 24 hours):

• A couple of kids just tossed these little Tux giveaways into a trashcan about 40 feet from me. "Bye bye, Penguins!" they said, before they ran, giggling, into the elevator after their parents.


• Randall picked me up from the airport, and we stopped off for a local IPA before coming to the con yesterday.
  
• I became a card-carrying member of the Free Software Foundation


• My flight here was the smoothest, most enjoyable flight I've taken in years. I watched three episodes of Family Guy on my iBook.


• It's 90 degrees in Portland


• The accumulated knowledge in this building, if properly harnessed, could conquer all of Known Space.


• Randal's party last night, at a local club called "Bar 71," was insanely fun, and I didn't drink enough to have a hangover today.


• At Randal's party, I got to pet an Alpaca


• None of the much-smater-than-me geeks who are here have shoved in my face exactly how much smarter than me they all are. I'm sure I've showed my complete lack of geek-cred several times, but so far nobody's outed me.


• I'm about to eat a sandwich that is sponsored by Microsoft . . . but I'm going to heavily modify the source before I eat it. so there.

I just finished my signing in Powell's convention bookstore booth . . .

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

I had a line the whole hour!!!

I was / am stunned. Powell's actually sold out of the books they'd brought to the con in about 20 mnutes. Luckily, I'd brought some additional copies with me, and I SOLD OUT OF THOSE TOO!!!

(I understand that they still have enough for the signing tonight, but if you're planning on picking one up there, you should probably reserve it, or get there early.)

The best part of this whole signing today, however, was the ratio of "I like Star Trek" to "I love your writing" people: it was about 2:7.

:)

I keep forgetting to post about this.

I did an interview for MovieHole last week. I think it's pretty cool, and WWdN readers may want to check it out.

I was about six steps through the door when Amber approached me.

"We have completely sold out of your book!" She looked concerned.

I took a moment to digest this exceedingly good news. I'd just walked into my very first in-store book signing. I didn't know what would happen . . . but a sell-out never entered my mind.

"That's the greatest thing I've ever heard," I said, as I took my iBook bag off my shoulder.

Pasadena, 30 hours eariler

Riley jumps off the bed.

I put my bag on the counter.

"This is the biggest crowd we have ever had at this store. For anything," she said to me.

"Really?!" I said.

"Yes! And we've never sold out of a book before. Usually, we'll sell about ten or so."

"Oh my god. This is so cool!" I said, as I opened my bag, "it's a good thing I listened to my wife!"

She was visibly relieved when I began putting small stacks of books on the counter.

"I'll take all the books you have in there," she said, "and we may even have to issue rain checks."

Rain checks?! I thought, Holy crap! This is so cool!!

I gave them to her, and she began putting stickers on them. There were two other authors there, too, so I snuck away to a back room to prepare while they talked about their books.

Even though I've read these stories countless times, and even though I lived them all, I feel a need to familiarize myself with them before I perform them. Even though this book is doing unbelievably well in terms of sales and audience response, I've been nervous each time I take them before a crowd.

Last night, I had some giddy excitement to go along with the nerves. I felt good. I was marking a significant waypoint on my journey from actor to author. I was taking my work to an audience that was NOT at a Star Trek convention. There were lots of non-Trekkies in this crowd. This was a big test for me.

The other authors talked for about 30 minutes, and then it was my turn.

I read two selections from Dancing Barefoot: Inferno, and a selection from SpongeBob Vegas Pants. I had a really good time bringing my memories to life (especially "Inferno," because I was staying in Portland with my friends Steve and Julie, who I know from high school. They both know my best friend Darin, and Steve knew Misty, who are both characters in the story.)

When I was finished reading, I looked up to thank the crowd for coming, and saw that it had grown substantially since I began. I was elated. All these people came, and stayed, and listened to me, and shared in this experience with me for almost an hour. I earned their time and attention. I earned it with my words. I passed the test. It was a wonderful feeling.

I sat down at a little table they'd set up for me, which had a laminated "Meet Wil Wheaton, author of Dancing Barefoot" sign on it. The crowd transformed itself from a mass to a line (like Optimus Prime, but without the cool sound effects) and I began to sign books.

I signed for people from just about every demographic you can imagine. Many of them had their own copies of my book, that they'd bought online or earlier in the day from Powell's. They complimented me on my website, on my performance, even on my cool shirt.

I signed a girl's celebrity bible, right there next to Dr. Demento, and I met the project lead for Quanta Plus, a web development application that I love and use regularly. Eric Raymond, author of Cathedral and the Bazaar, and major force in the Open Source movement also came and listened to me read. He even sat right in the front. He had several kind words for me when I was done. It was awesome.

When I was just down to my last three books, a guy walked over to me, and extended his hand.

"Hi, Wil," he said, "I'm Tim O'Reilly."

My brain screamed at me, "HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING SHIT WIL!!! IT'S TIM O'REILLY!! HE CAME OUT TO SEE YOU!!!"

Before I could scream out, "I KNOW!!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!!!! GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!" my brain said, "Stay cool, Wil. Don't geek out."

I was grateful for all those times I didn't stab my brain with a key, and listened to it.

"It's really nice to meet you," I said. I was very proud of myself . . . and kept my geeking out to a minimum. "Your books have made my life much easier, and much more interesting."

Check me out. I totally behaved myself.

"Nicely done," said my brain.

He said something about how he'd heard good things about my book, and thanked me for coming to OSCon. (He thanked me for coming!)

"Would you like a copy of my book?" I asked him, "I have an extra one that you can have if you want it."

"Sure," he said, "but I'd rather buy it."

So that's what he did. Tim O'Reilly bought my little book. Randal has a picture of our meeting, wherein I recalibrate the scale for geeking out -- but only on the inside. (I do that a lot, I'm discovering.)

Shortly after that, I sold my final book.

That's right. I sold out all my books at OSCon, including the additional books I brought with me. Then I sold out all my books at the store, including the additional books I brought with me.

It's a good thing I listened to my wife, eh?

I packed up my bag, and said good bye to Randal. He pointed at the little laminated "Meet Wil Wheaton, author of Dancing Barefoot" sign.

"You should take that, Wil. It's from your first signing. You're going to want that someday," he said.

I picked it up off the table, and when I held it in my hands, I knew that he was right.

If you are reading this, and you were at the signing last night, I want to thank you again for being part of a significant moment in my life. Signing books, in a book store, and selling them all out . . . it's better than the first time I got to sit at the helm of the Enterprise . . .

. . . because it was real.

I came to an interesting realization while I was in Portland: since I published Dancing Barefoot, my life is happier, more fulfilling, and busier than in the last several years. I think I've got a cranial cron job that runs about once a minute that rotates the logs in /dev/brain/

The sad part of this is, I forget to do things, like finish the freakin' CruiseTrek stories, even though it's been sitting here on my iBook for three weeks.

Sorry. My bad.

Here's is what happened on Day 6: Fanning Island, and my class.

CruiseTrek -- Day 6 to
Thursday, 04 June, 2003

In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I am writing this from our family physical therapist's office. Ryan severely hurt his shoulder and arm while we were gone (his coach left him in a baseball game too long while he was pitching, I guess) and he's getting worked on right now.

The last two days of the cruise presented a couple of choices to me: sit inside and blog, or hang out with my wife and new friends, and enjoy the sun and sea. To be honest, it really wasn't that difficult of a choice.

So this is all written from the banality of a grey-carpeted waiting room, beneath a wall covered with autographed pictures of famous sports figures our doctor works on Vlade Divac, Oscar de la Hoya, Magic Johnson, The New York Yankees), while "smooth jazz" assaults me from a radio on the receptionist's desk.

When I last wrote from the cruise, -- oh god. the DJ just informed me that there's a "block of Kenny G coming right up."

When I last wrote from the cruise, we were at Fanning Island, in the Republic of Kiribati. The cruise line visits Fanning Island because, as a foreign built ship, they are required by law to visit a foreign port before returning to a US port. So we travelled 1200 miles southwest from Hilo to Fanning.

Fanning Island is absolutely beautiful, and mostly untouched. It is just 220 miles North of the equator.

Because our ship blew out an engine, we arrived at Fanning almost three hours (maybe it was two, I can't recall) late, so we were only there for a short time. But during our time there, Anne and I walked along a long stretch of totally deserted beach (picking up all sorts of trash left by previous passengers), floated in the lagoon, took tons of pictures, and enjoyed the unspoiled beauty of the island. About 40 minutes before the last tender left for the ship, we noticed that most of the other cruise passengers had already left. The area where we were was silent, and we stood in the ankle-deep water of the lagoon, listening to the water wash around our feet, while unseen birds sang in the jungle behind us. The solitude was unforgettable.

When we returned to the ship, I parked myself on our veranda and went over my notes for the class I was teaching on building, maintaining, and grokking a weblog. I've never taught a class like that before, and I was terrified that I was going to suck.

The class ended up going very well. There were only four real students, but Tom and Dori joined us, along with Randal and Andy. Sitting there at my iBook, surrounded by REALLY smart people, who are also accomplished writers and webloggers, I really felt like a total piker, and I was really happy when they would toss in their experiences and offer suggestions. I don't know if the students realized what a great bunch of minds were in that room . . . but I sure did! I think the guys who showed up learned something, though, and they got blogs up and running at blogger before we finished. If any of you guys are reading this, send me an e-mail, and I'll link ya.

When the class was finished, I attended another CruiseTrek event, another actor's panel, this time with all of us: Chase, Manu, George, and Vaughn. I was asked something about Hollywood, and I quickly expressed how much I hate the entertainment industry, and how hard it's been for me to find success like I had when I was a kid. I talked about how lousy casting people have treated me, and how I don't understand why The Powers That Be have been so incredibly terrible to me since I left the show when I was 18. In retrospect, I felt like I totally brought the place down, but it's what was on my mind when the question was asked. I told them all how much happier I am now, focusing my creative energy on writing, and how surprised and touched I am by the reaction to my book. When I was finished, a few people told me that they were glad I said the things I did, but if I could do it again, I'd keep my big mouth shut.

Anne and I spent the rest of the afternoon goofing off on the ship, enjoying the incredibly beautiful Pacific Ocean. At one point, we were looking out at the horizon, and I said to her, "This ship is so huge . . . but when we compare it to the ocean we're sitting on . . . it is -- we are -- so insignificant. I kind of like that."

NEXT: Maui and Kauai

I will do anything to be in this:

Watchmen Faithfully Adapted

Lloyd Levin, one of the producers of the upcoming sequel film Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life, told SCI FI Wire that he is also producing a faithful film version of Alan Moore/Dave Gibbon's seminal superhero graphic novel Watchmen, adapted by X-Men screenwriter David Hayter, who may also direct. "If you're familiar with the graphic novel, it's a great and challenging piece of work," Levin said in an interview. "I think we have a screenplay now that is a faithful adaptation of the graphic novel and does it justice, written by David Hayter, who wrote the X-Men movies."

Past efforts to adapt Watchmen for the movies-including one by producer Joel Silver, with Terry Gilliam directing-have stalled.

Levin-who is also producing Hellboy, based on Mike Mignola's comic series-added, "I really love comics, but I also really love movies about interesting characters. So sometimes they come from comics, sometimes they come from books. I place no restrictions." As for the current glut of comics-to-film, he said, "I think perhaps we're in a time when there are a lot of filmmakers who were big, big fans of comic books [and who] are coming of age, and they're more impassioned about telling those stories." Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life, based on the Eidos video game series, opens July 25

Time to dig my Rorschach mask out of the garage, and start camping out on David Hayter's lawn.

(thanks to Dave, who e-mailed me this information!)

Tomorrow morning, I head on down to San Diego for Comic-Con.

In years past, I've attended with the hopes of selling pictures and autographs, and taking home some desperately-needed bill paying money. I always tried to put the most positive face on it that I could, but the fact is, I was there as a has-been. That guy who "used to be" an actor. It was always humiliating and depressing for me to spend most of the day "under the sails." I struggled to keep my chin up, and convince myself that I wasn't a total loser.

Things have really changed in the last two years, though, and I'm giddy with excitement to attend this year.

This year, I get to attend as the author of Dancing Barefoot, the guy who runs this site, and Mrs. Wheaton's Husband.

The super-cool people at Mysterious Galaxy have done some very cool things for me. Here's my schedule this year, thanks to their extreme bad-assery:

Thursday

• 4 - 5:30pm Room 7B: From the Cradle to the Keyboard, Part I Authors discuss who they read in their youth, and how it influences their work today.


• 5:30 pm - 7:00 pm Signing in the Autograph Area in the Sails Pavilion.

Friday

• 12 Noon: Signing in the Mysterious Galaxy booth (#1846)

Saturday

• 11am: Signing in the Mysterious Galaxy booth (#1846)

At all the signings, I will have 8x10s, a very limited number of WWdN shirts, and of course, copies of Dancing Barefoot.

If you're in Los Angeles this weekend, and you're not able to make it down to Comic-Con, you must go see the show at my friends Sean and Caryn's gallery:

We have an amazing opening scheduled for Saturday, July 19 by a Canadian duo, Kenn Sakurai (ESM Artificial ) and Dave O'Regan (Poplab). With an emphasis on text, this show of mass-produced and one-of-a-kind silk-screened pieces (postcards, posters, stickers) along with painted work will touch upon some of the best and the worst aspects of popular culture that often include models, cars, rock stars, song lyrics, the 80s, and television personalities. Their work also delves into other universal themes such as heartbreak and high school. ESM and Poplab utilize familiar images, subjects, and sayings that are always humorous, poignant, and thoughtful. "Modern Thought" opening reception is from 7-10pm at sixspace 549 west 23rd, LA 90027.

Finally, if you're attending Comic-con, and you have a camera phone, you can contribute to the group Comic-Con photoblog project, by mailing any images you have to comic-con.2003-at-tamw.com. The subject is the title of the image, and the text is the description. Bonus points if we take a picture together and moblog it.

I'll also be audioblogging from the show, so be sure to tune in!

Yesterday, I was on my very first author's panel. I sat with *real* authors, who have written several books. I felt like I was playing dress-up, while I sat there with them, but I was surprised and validatied when I discovered that the way I approach writing was similar to the way they do.

The whole time I sat up there, I kept thinking to myself, "I can't believe I get to sit here with these people!" and hoping tha tnobody noticed that "one of these things was not like the others" and that thing was me.

After the panel was done, I moved to the autograph area, where I signed copies of Dancing Barefoot for about 90 minutes. It was so cool!! There was a HUGE line of people, and everyone seemed very excited to read my book.

Something else happened yesterday that has never happened before: this guy had to pay us ten bucks, but only had a hundred. We didn't have change yet, so I told him, "That's okay, just get change somewhere and come back. I trust you."

He thanked me, walked away, and never returned. It's the first time I've ever been taken advantage of like that in my life.

I didn't have time to check out the convention floor yesterday, but Anne is heading back up to Los Angeles today, and I'll get to spend the day totally geeking out. Check the audioblog for geeky details.

I'm in the train depot in San Diego, totally getting online through a WiFi hotspot that's sponsored by bandwidthbay.org.

I think it's beyond cool that I can sit here, and blog from my iBook!

Comic-con was really fun, but way too big. There was so much stuff to see, and so many people trying to see it, it's all just a blur.

Oh! Know who I met today? Tiffany Taylor. Oh. My. God. She's beautiful. And she took a picture with me.

I'm wearing my The Cheat shirt from Homestarrunner.com, and when I was walking around the con this morning, several people shouted "It's The Cheat!!" to which I replied, "Hang on! We're taking this baby to the moooon!!11!"

(Yes, just like On*Star, I pronounced the "11!" at the end of that sentence.)

Oh shit. My train is boarding right now. I gotta go!

The train ride home was wonderful. I love to take the train, and Andy says why better than I could.

I listened to my iPod, while I read three issues of PS238 (if you haven't read it yet, RUN to your local comic shop and pick it up. It's awesome), the newest PvP, and re-read one of my favorite stories of the last few years, The Red Star. I forgot how powerful The Red Star's first few issues were . . . I'm glad I have it in Graphic novel form to carry around.

Graphic novels are great, because they're more durable than traditional comics, so they can be read without damaging our precious first printings, heavy enough to be used as a weapon in dire circumstances, and their shiny covers can be used to reflect the sunlight and signal a plane, should the reader become lost or stranded.

While I was at Comic-Con, I reached the following conclusion: John and Judith Kovalic are two of the greatest people on this planet. Matter of fact, I would travel to pretty much any con that John's going to be attending, just so I can hang out with them again.

And just because hanging with John and Judith wasn't enough, I also got to spend quality time with Steve Jackson, and almost missed my train because I was geeking out with Scott Kurtz and Aaron Williams.

And just because that isn't enough, I got to meet the guys from Penny Arcade.

And just because that isn't enough, I just saw that I am in today's Penny Arcade.

I'd better stop before I hit the top of this bell curve of coolness.