My second novel is out, and I've released it online, too (though I won't complain if you buy it!) -Cory

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The Guestbar! A tiny, guest-edited blog! Alan Graham Alan Graham is an author for O'Reilly & Associates, APress, and Wordware. He is also the creator & editor of the Best of Blogs series. The genius of Andy Kaufman was that the joke was on us. He was able to blur the line between reality and perception, so he always kept us guessing. I was still a young child during some of his more provocative stunts. Even then I just loved him. I think the innocence of that age allowed me to see something that was masked to the adults around me. Well if Andy were alive today (and perhaps he is), he'd be behind Landover Baptist Church. This is clearly the absolute best parody site on the web. Hands down. It is so brilliant, that it takes you literally hours to figure out it is a parody. And yet, you are always left wondering. While the entire site is a parody, the funniest joke of all is the joke on us. You totally see the brilliance of the joke when you open their mailbag and take a peek at what is inside. There are two types of letters. One type is from moderates and non-religious people who are appalled and disgusted because it confirms everything they believe to be true about the religious right. The other is from the right who are offended because Landover makes Jerry Falwell look like Hillary Clinton. The brilliance is that both sides unintentionally write the absolute funniest letters, which really show the true nature and ignorance of humanity. Go check out the mail for yourself, but here are a few excerpts to whet your whistle. "Dear Landover, I laugh at your ignorance. I have religious friends and I must say that if Jesus existed today, he would have wanted love. What are you people? You're hateful "Holier than thou" morons." "Please tell me you are joking. This site -and consiquently your ideas of a spanking- is a blasphamos. Feel free to post this on your cite (though i'm sure you won't)." "Are you people really serious with this garbage? You encourage parents to beat their kids with a Bible and call them "sissies" and "demons"? Where the hell do you get off with that bullshit? We're all worried about terrorists in the middle east, while we have all these Christian terrorists right here at home. You are sick and full of hate and ignorance. Your scare tactics don't work on me." This is choice: "you folks are an the brink of demon posession yourselvers... Nothing but blasphemy is on your crappy website. Turn aside from your evil ways, loved ones. I do know you know Jesus, but pastor, this is for you! Quit building upon yuour weak foundation so as not to be one" barley escaping through the flames." Remember, as ministers especially, the blood of the lost will be on our hands. Reach out in love, not hateful scare tactics. Oh, and by the way, I am NOT a liberal. Please respond back to mattvan77@yahoo.com Matthew John Van Vleet Chicago Outreach Ministries But this one really takes the cake...oh man is this the best...I mean I'm a geek but this guy... "Your scathing review of Return of The King was laughably ignorant, and one would think that persons responsible for showing a film to a congregation, and for writing/publishing articles on it would do a little research before risking the destruction of a five-million dollar theatre at the hands of enraged congregants (although, in any case, thier reaction was appalling). Had anyone bothered to Google "return of the king" you would have litany of resources at your fingertips describing exactly what it was - the last installment of a three-part book entitled "The Lord Of The Rings," its three parts being "The Fellowship of the Ring," "The Two Towers," and finally, "The Return of the King." This book was written by renowned author J.R.R. Tolkien as a follow-up to The Hobbit, and was first published in 1956. It has since been republished in countless edition and formats since then, and has become one of the most loved and treasured books of all time, the world over. Tolkien himself was a devout Christian, and ingrained His faith into the story. December of 2001 marked the release of the first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, with The Two Towers following one year later, and as you know, The Return of The King premiering this past December. Had you seen the first two films, you would have known the the Ring was a device created by the Dark Lord Sauron (yes, Dark Lord) to contain his power, and that the King was Aragorn, the heir of Isildor, who was King of Gondor before Sauron began to plunge the world into darkness. Since no heir came forward, Gondor had no king until Aragorn came forward - hence the return of the king. Sauron is NOT the portrayal of God in this story, he is the most powerful of Satan's demons, if not Satan himself. The Hobbits, the Dwarves, the Elves, and the Men were all working together in an epic battle against Sauron and his armies of Orcs and Urukai (demons), to defeat Evil. Destroying the Ring was paramount to the success of this battle, and was not an act against God, but against Satan. The slightest bit of research would have told you all of this, and as you are in a position of leadership and teaching, research is necessary, and it is neglegent on your part not to have done it. Or perhaps you did, but you want your community to believe that anything made outside of it is completely evil. Is that how you maintain control?" I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. Andy would be so proud. posted by Alan Graham at 12:15:28 AM | permalink Heads up... The new liberal radio network, Air America, launches today at 12pm EST. I'm personally a big fan of Randi Rhodes who will be handling the late afternoon/early evening slot. She's an intelligent 20 year radio veteran who deserves a national audience. Her time slot is from 3pm to 7pm...a full four hours. She's the perfect antidote to people who use insults instead of arguments. If you are interested in tuning in, apparently there will be a webcast here. Quick Update: One step forward for broadcasting...one step back for webcasting. Apparently they have underestimated their expected traffic, and it is almost impossible to keep a constant connection. From bad to worse...it seems they've chosen the insidiously bad Real Player for their audio stream. Sigh...let's hope they take a hint from Car Talk, although I'd prefer a Quicktime stream. Let's hope they fix it by tomorrow. posted by Alan Graham at 8:06:36 AM | permalink I love Ray Bradbury. Favorite writer, hands down. The reason I love his work is that Bradbury knows enough to pull back and let the reader fill in the blanks. He understands that the readers own imagination is the most powerful literary tool there is. If there is a monster in the darkened hall, Bradbury let's you make it your own...allows you to give life to that which lives in the darkest parts of your mind. Now if you've ever watched one of the CSI programs, you are no doubt aware that they tend to be quite graphic. But there is something about the way the material is presented that numbs us to it's graphic nature. Our minds just absorb what we see, but don't really engage us in the story. Seeing the recreation of a bullet tear through flesh is not engaging drama. The intent is simply to shock you. Enter Autopsy Report: Log of experiences as a Medical Examiner Intern. Our host, Brian, takes us through his daily experiences in the morgue. Now comes my Bradbury Word of Warning. Although there are no images, this site is very candid and descriptive. And unlike CSI, here we are left to our own mental devices. If you have a good imagination, but a weak consitution, then this site is not for you. But if you want to take a fascinating look into the real world of life and death, then I highly recommend you dig through it. You'll find strong material, presented honestly, and intelligently. You'll also find a good collection of medical and forensic links. "A man was shot twice, once in the neck and once in the abdomen. How did the doctor know that the neck shot came first?" Find the answer to this query here. "...it is the talent of a pathologist and morgue personnel to be able to describe things in terms of food - you will never look at food the same way..." From a particularly descriptive entry on decomps. If you learn anything from this site...learn to take care of yourself...and as Mom always said...wear clean underwear. posted by Alan Graham at 11:14:00 PM | permalink The Atheist Jesus Poetry Contest or Cass Brown Will Die For Your Blog Regardless of your personal religious beliefs, one of the more interesting sites in the blogosphere happens to be called The Raving Atheist, An Aesthetic Examination of the Culture of Belief: How Religious Devotion Trivializes American Law and Politics. As you might have guessed, it is run by an atheist. Whether you are a person of faith or not, what draws me to the site is the often heated arguments that occur in the comments section. The acerbic wit of the author never fails to spark a contentious debate, and The Raving Atheist does not suffer fools lightly. It is a thinking person's site, and well written to boot. But this leads me to another site which is connected to The Raving Atheist. Cancergiggles is a site run by Cass Brown, an atheist who is terminally ill with colon cancer that has spread to his lungs, liver and pelvis. He only has about 6-18 months left to live. It is a touching site, and as someone who lost their mother to cancer when I was 12, I find his courage to laugh in the face of death inspiring. But I digress. Together The Raving Atheist and Cass Brown are running the Atheist Jesus Poetry Contest. I kid you not. Cass Brown will die for your blog, provided you win the contest. As the winner, your site (or a blog of your choosing) will earn the exclusive right to boast that “Cass Brown Died for this Blog.” Cass will prominently display the honor at his blog, together with the winning submission. The Raving Atheist will do the same, and will place your blog’s name at the top of his blogroll under the special category “The Blog that Cass Brown Died For.” Says Cass, "It is my intention, as I indicated before, to be as un-cooperative as possible regarding the expected delivery date of the prize. Rules can be found here, but hurry, entries must be in by April 2. posted by Alan Graham at 10:54:00 PM | permalink Guestbar Archives

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