Friday, August 3rd, 2001
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8:21 pm
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hello journal, i do not know if anyone reads this, if anyone does i want to say im sorry. I havent wrote in this journal forever! I plan to get a new name once i figure out a name that fits me more. I guess this will be my last entry untill i get my new one. Bye
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Tuesday, May 1st, 2001
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9:37 pm - bois r so confusing!!!!!!
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awersahgjuhsajugkhasj*** yeah thats what i have to say about bois! well at least the boys at my school! they say they like you and then they go off and let a really ditzy slut suck on there neck (what it should be me) anyway thats what happened to me. god in a way i feel so dumb for likeing him but then i like him even more because i know he is wild (wild i dont know if thats the word or not but owell) so i really dont know what to do about him. well i dont feel like writeing anything else so i will write when i do later days *me*
current mood: anxious current music: shake ur ass[but watch urself]ihatethissongbutitsinmyhead!!!
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Tuesday, April 24th, 2001
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9:34 pm - school ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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damn, there are so many things to understand and learn in school i dont think i can handle it all! algebra-sucks ass (it is so hard to remember it all) health-such a bird class world geo.-its last period so i dont do shit even though its so easy (well i do a little but i need to start to do more so i can get a better grade then 75
oh yeah and i have dance class- which is so much fun, i was in ballet when i was little and i wish that i were still in it today, i love it and i think im pretty good. there is this thing called the spring show and our dance class gets to dance in it! i cant wait i think i will be able to dance in all of the dances. im like in front each time. i think its because im so short, owell.
well i godda go love,alysha
current mood: stressed current music: bikini kill <<<.....i do,i do,i do.........>>>
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Wednesday, April 18th, 2001
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10:14 pm - people problems............................................ >:l
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hey*~~ why do people have to be so fake? Their like that stupid nail polish you get when you are like 5, the stuff that peels off, they try and cover up their real self by putting on a fake coat of nail polish. whats really f*cked up is that with some of them you can see the real them (their clipped) but at the same time they just put another coat of nail polish to cover it up. I think/feel that i am a bare nail(with a couple spots of polish) well i hope anyway. I try and please just myself and only care what i think.
well if you agree with me or have you own opinion,then let me know how you feel.
goodnight, alysha
current mood: annoyed current music: the mammas and the pappas "monday monday"
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Tuesday, April 10th, 2001
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10:41 pm - **WhY dOeS iT aLwAyS rAiN oN mE**
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**i am probably the dumbest person in the world**
*this guy i like came up to me in the library today before school, started trying to convince me to sneek off campus and smoak a joint or two with him and dumby me and my good girl side was like "no, you dont want to get into TROUBLE" now i would do it in a heart beat.*
why am i so lkasdhvnagabiubhgiuesg?
i godda sleep...........zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz night!
current mood: indescribable current music: why does it always rain on me/travis
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10:41 pm - **WhY dOeS iT aLwAyS rAiN oN mE**
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**i am probably the dumbest person in the world**
*this guy i like came up to me in the library today before school, started trying to convince me to sneek off campus and smoak a joint or two with him and dumby me and my good girl side was like "no, you dont want to get into TROUBLE" now i would do it in a heart beat.*
why am i so lkasdhvnagabiubhgiuesg?
i godda sleep...........zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz night!
current mood: indescribable current music: why does it always rain on me/travis
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10:32 pm - **WhY dOeS iT aLwAyS rAiN oN mE**
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**i am probably the dumbest person in the world**
*this guy i like came up to me in the library today before school, started trying to convince me to sneek off campus and smoak a joint or two with him and dumby me and my good girl side was like "no, you dont want to get into TROUBLE" now i would do it in a heart beat.*
why am i so lkasdhvnagabiubhgiuesg?
i godda sleep...........zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzz night!
current mood: indescribable current music: why does it always rain on me/travis
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Saturday, March 31st, 2001
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8:19 pm - sniff sniff- cough cough!!! :(
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hello world! today i feel like crap! (i cant say that word in front of my step mom) crazy huh? I cant breath!! (trys to breath in but fails and coughs)
--*-- i remember this today and it made me smile--*--
today while i was laying on the couch i was just thinking and i remember a time when i was in our house in canyon lake, tx that we called "the octogon house" because it was octogon! cool huh?! i think so. well anyway, i remember my mom putting my hair in pony tails (us both sitting on the floor) and my dad was watching jaws! boy did i think that was scarry! When i look back on it and i try and picture it i looks to my like it would of been a good picture to take.(the mom and the daughter on the floor,the daughers eyes watching something with fright, and the mother concentrating to the daughters hair to make it just right) I wish someone would of taken a picture!
I have always said that i dont want a child because of the pain and the price of therpy i would have to have to have a child in my life, but im starting to think different, i mean me not wanting a child of my problems sounds kind of selfish when you think of it, so i think i MIGHT have a child.
man i learned in world geography that hinduism thinks of all religons as the same thing, just their leading different paths. i think thats great.well i have to go. sleep well, alysha
current mood: sick current music: *L-is for the way you look at me.........................*
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Tuesday, March 27th, 2001
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9:52 pm - time is never time at all............
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i had 7 hours of sleep last night! >yawn< why when you sleep its like you slept for like two minutes? I wish it felt like 7 hours. I need sleep!
:::I need some help with something! i like my bestfriends ex what should i do? move in for the kill or back off? I dont?! im so confused white label on the backseat - glows an artificial green - i crave a midnight something - i crave and something hunts me down - i'm scaring everybody - i'm wearing everybody down - white label on the backseat - and something bends me over, down - i crave an empty lifestyle - i crave the very loudest sound - i'm chasing everybody - i'm shaking everybody down - do you hear the loudest sound? - and you and me in the echo? - white label on the backseat - and something warm across my lap - i never bitched at anyone - i never asked for my heart back - i'm loving everybody - and hating everyone i see - do you still remember me? - floating out on the echo.:::
- kristin hersh.
i wish we could just do that........ ........float out on a echo well im gonna take a shower and crash! nighty nighty! as my dad used to say (dont let the bed bugs bite)<---- i think ever dad should say that to their children. we all need something cute to remember from out fathers, you never know they might be gone tomarrow.
~*::: i also remember a time when my dad and i sat next to the floor heaters in our house in arkansaw around christmas and he would hold me and we would get nice a warm:::*~
good night! <3, me
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Sunday, March 25th, 2001
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9:30 pm - La la la la la la la la
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Hey this is going to be one of my more involved journals. Im gonna tell you about my life........ ....... well some of it.
I was born san antonio where i live now but have lived in arkansaw, and wisconsin too. Im gonna skip down my river of a life and i gonna tell you why i moved down here. I tell everyone that i have moved down here because i hate my moms husband with a passion. Thats part of it. The reason i moved down here for the most part is because.......................
(brace yourself this is gonna be korney (i think) )
*floating back in time when my dads dad died and we were at my grandama and aunts house (the ones how lost a husband and a dad)*
~*>my dad was talking about when he would die and he said in his 40's<*~ i think i was like in 4th grade when my grandfather died that really got to me so that is a really big reason i moved down here. And i know women out live men by a long shot so i figured my mom has a longer time than him (but you never know) so i will live with my dad untill......... :( (my longing saddness) well thats all for today! love~ me and laura the journal i wrote befor this (im not mad at you or anything i was in a weird mood! i love you always! you too kate
current music: something by fiona apple --i am heavy like mood--(in head)
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Saturday, March 24th, 2001
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11:09 pm - why cant people be nice?? :(
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I read my sister laura's journal and in a chat that she had copied onto a one of her journal entry's it talked about me. I thought everyone were nice. I read that and it not only talked about me but it talked about my dad. usually i dont let things like this get to me,but when i read it (not hear it out loud((like i hear everyday))!) it made me think, wow. I feel like im gonna puke! and buy just what i read, in some fucked up way i want to even more.
:(
this is me, alysha
current mood: disappointed current music:
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Sunday, March 11th, 2001
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8:39 pm
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8:39 pm - today was the crazyest day of them all****
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Today started off early at like 9:00 and me and my three step sisters we went down town san antonio and "tried" to record. We left the camera on and it mostly shows our feet. Its great. and then we went to walmart and like played with everything. Oh yeah my step sister laura and I decided that when she gets a car we are going to drive downtown and dress in pretty white dresses and we would walk around bare foot and dance to the music and make everyone happy, yeah dont i wish that would be great! well i think i'll go now later days-alysha
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Saturday, March 10th, 2001
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10:17 pm - today
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i like gurls and guys!! i wanna them both! Including you mechanical
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