I'm off to the Land of the Rising Sun, where the usually excruciating politeness of the Japanese will, this weekend, be a welcome escape from the uncouth barbarian hoard rampaging through Hong Kong in my absence. For the next three days Wong Nai Chung Road will be awash in vomit as the lumpen, bloated and coarse-featured stumble along its length, each of them seemingly intent upon achieving two things before departure: drinking themselves into incoherence -- although given the vulgar regional accents they begin with, incoherence is generally but a pint away -- and urinating on my doorstep.

Or, as Hemlock observes:

With a drunken roar, Albion’s seed ejaculates itself onto the placid streets of the Big Lychee. From Anglo-Gaelic infestations around the Mediterranean, the Gulf, Southern Africa, Southeast Asia and the Antipodes they come, beer-gorged bellies bulging beneath rugby shirts and baggy shorts, for the weekend of boisterous, alcoholic infantilism known as the Sevens. The southern English are absent – too shy, or maybe busy pruning their rose bushes. It is their northern, Scottish, Welsh and Irish vassals who have arrived here, along with their mongrel, extra-Y-chromosome progeny from Australia and New Zealand and other dregs of the anglosphere, scraped from forgotten corners of North America, the Algarve and the Rhodesian diaspora. The sun still never sets on this, the most loathsome of global tribes. And the horrible truth is that the loud, red-faced rugby fans are drawn from the more decent, presentable and civilized strata of the race. What unspeakable specimens of barbarism have they have left at home? It would be tempting to retreat to Kowloon for a weekend of calm and relaxation surrounded by the latest batch of 100,000 Mainland tourists to come squatting, smoking and spitting their way from goldsmith to restaurant to herbal medicine store.

Indeed.

Having armed my amah with new mop and an unopened bottle of disinfectant, I leave her to defend home and hearth. I'm heading for the airport.

Fabian, at The Swanker, e-mailed the link to a recent report from Transparency International, ranking the world's most corrupt public officials.

Yes, those cheers of "we're number 1, we're number 1" are emanating from Jakarta, although their neighbours in the Philippines hold the distinction of being the only country to place, not one, but two heads of state on the list.

So, without further ado -- drum-roll please -- we bring you the emezzlers' hall of fame:

1. Mohamed Suharto, President of Indonesia, 1967-98 -- US$15-35 billion (Free in Indonesia. Son in prison for murder-for-hire of Supreme Court judge. Daughter running for president)

2. Ferdinand Marcos, President of the Philippines, 1972-86 -- US$5-10 billion (Died in exile)

3. Mobutu Sese Seko, President of Zaire, 1965-97 -- US$5 billion (Deposed, dead)

4. Sani Abacha, President of Nigeria, 1993-98 -- US$2-5 billion (Died in office)

5. Slobodan Milosevic, President of Serbia/Yugoslavia, 1989-2000 -- US$1 billion (On trial for genocide at the Hague)

6. Jean-Claude Duvalier, President of Haiti, 1971-86 -- US$300-800 million (Exiled in France. Following the ouster of Jean-Bertrand Aristide, announced his intention to return to Haiti)

7. Alberto Fujimori, President of Peru, 1990-2000 -- US$600 million (Exiled in Japan)

8. Pavlo Lazarenko, Prime Minister of Ukraine, 1996-97-- US$114-200 million (On trial in the US for money laundering)

9. Arnoldo Alemán, President of Nicaragua, 1997-2002 -- US$100 million (In prison for corruption in Nicaragua)

10. Joseph Estrada, President of the Philippines, 1998-2001 -- US$78-80 million (In prison in the Philippines awaiting trial for corruption. It was recently alleged that he was actually serving his sentence at his private villa)

Mr. Suharto, our hats are off to you. You managed to rake in US$15-35 billion, in a country where the per capita GDP is a mere US$700 and, you not only retired to your home, you got to keep the money. Bravo!

It's also heart-warming to see a high-stakes competition like this untainted by racial prejudice and discrimination. Our winners prove that all of God's children -- whether white, black, brown or yellow -- can aspire to become a kack-handed kleptocrat.

The European Union is scheduled to consider, at today's EU summit meeting, lifting its embargo on arms sales to China.

France is spearheading EU moves to lift the ban, hoping that China's rapidly expanding armed forces will offer a good market for its loss-making arms firms and that a coalition can be built with China to counterbalance the United States.

France is spearheading EU moves to lift the ban, hoping that China's rapidly expanding armed forces will offer a good market for its loss-making arms firms and that a coalition can be built with China to counterbalance the United States.

But the French, who have been rapidly improving their own ties with China, have already won the backing of most of their other fellow EU members.

It is still unclear whether they can win the necessary unanimous agreement to lift the ban at the two-day national leaders' summit starting in Brussels on Thursday, but senior EU officials have indicated their support for the move.

European arms firms hope that if the EU lifts the embargo it will open the way for Chinese purchases of such items as French Mirage fighter jets and German missiles.

So, the world can look forward to the day when German missiles rain down on Taipai and French Mirage fighters meet US carrier based US F-14s and F/A-18s over Taiwan.

China has demanded that Japan immediately release seven of its citizens who were arrested after illegally landing and planting the PRC flag on the disputed Diaoyu Islands. One of the detained Chinese was previously arrested in Japan, and fled a 10 month prison sentence, for painting slogans outside the gate of the Yasukuni Shrine to Japan's war dead in Tokyo.

The Chinese government called the arrests, by the Japanese Coastguard, illegal and claimed that the islands were an indisputable part of Chinese territory. A Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman declared:

"This is an illegal action that breaks international law and, moreover, it is a serious provocation against China's sovereignty and territory and Chinese citizens' human rights," he said. "China expresses its protest and demands the Japanese side ensure the safety of the Chinese people and their immediate, unconditional release."

China's concern for its citizen's human rights it touching but misplaced, since the detainee's human rights will receive far more protection in a Japanese jail than they would in freedom in China.

Given its pervasive surveillance and control of all the of political activities of its citizens, there is no question that the Chinese government is complicit in the affair. Indeed, the voyage was announced in advance in the official People's Daily:

Following the tour exploitation study at the Diaoyu Islands in this January, a trial voyage to the Diaoyu Islands will set out at the end of [March].

To make preparation for the voyage, the Federation of Chinese Non-governmental Organizations for Defending Sovereignty over the Diaoyu Islands offered online application for this activity. More than 700 people have applied online so far. Tong said the Federation would select 20 out of all applicants to participate in the trial voyage. According to Tong, the participants would mainly include experts, scholar, activists within the Federation and reporters from the Chinese mainland and Hong Kong.

A reporter interviewed Chen Kezhi, a young painter and a deputy of the All-China Youth Federation, who would continue a painting named "Bombard", a work depicting Japanese army's barbaric bombing of Chongqing 60 years ago, during the 6-day voyage.

"Next year will be the sixty years anniversary of Japan's surrender. 60 years is a cycle in the Chinese culture. Therefore, working on such a painting at the sea area of the Diaoyu Islands, China's inherent territory, is of great significance. It is like a link that connects history and reality. I will take the painting abroad for exhibition next year," said Chen Kezhi.

Taking their cue from their mainland masters, Beijing's lapdogs in Hong Kong also began yapping on cue. According to the unlinkable SCMP, three Hong Kong deputies to the National People's Congress released a letter asking the Chinese central government to "take actions which are stronger than diplomatic protests and negotiations to show it is willing to defend its sovereignty." 30 members of Hong Kong's pro-Beijing DAB party protested outside the Japanese consulate in Hong Kong and, never missing an opportunity to bash the Japanese, mainland Chinese protesters burned Japanese flags outside Tokyo's embassy in Beijing.

Meanwhile, at the same time its own citizens were being rounded up for trespassing on territory claimed by Japan, China issued a diplomatic protest to Vietnam over that country's plan to allow tourists to visit the Spratly Islands in the South China Sea. The very same Foreign Ministry spokesman who defended the right of Chinese to traipse, unrestricted, on the Diaoyu Islands, asserted China's "undisputed claim" over the Spratlys (said undisputed claim being vociferously disputed by Vietnam) and alleged that visits to the Spratlys by Vietnamese "infringed on China's territorial sovereignty."

KMT candidates Lien Chan and James Soong continue to put their own selfish interests ahead of those of their country. President Chen Shui-bian offered to meet with Lien and Soong, on their terms, in exchange for their help in diffusing the current tensions by requesting that the thousands of KMT supporters, who have been beseiging the Presidential Offices for more than a week, disperse, so that a proposed recount can take place free from threats of violence and pressure. Instead, Soong replied:

"[Chen's] pre-conditions are not reasonable. What we request is for him to speak to us personally," Soong told Reuters. "I don't think any conditions should be set."

Meanwhile, Lien personally rallied the increasingly unruly crowds outside the presidents offices and has failed to disavow more radical members of his "Pan-Blue" alliance who have called for violence to unseat Chen.

The KMT has rejected Chen's offer to amend the elections laws, retrocatively, to allow for the full recount of all ballots that the KMT origianlly requested. Originally, Lien and his allies demanded that Chen declare a state of emergency and then order a recount without legislative or judicial approval. Now, Lien and Soong have upped the ante and demand the adoption of a retroactive "assassination clause" that would effectively nullify last Saturday's election.

The proposed provision would require that the Election Commission call off a presidential election if a candidate suffers injury or dies in the seven days preceding the scheduled election. Because the law would be retrospective, it would effectively render last week's balloting null and void.

The fact that their actions threaten Taiwan's stability and have set back the cause of democracy in both Hong Kong and mainland China means nothing to Lien and Soong compared to their own thirst for power and patronage.

Welcome to the blogosphere Noam Chomsky, you fatuous horse's ass:

People in the more civilized sectors of the world (what we call "the third world," or the "developing countries") often burst out laughing when they witness an election in which the choices are two men from very wealthy families with plenty of clout in the very narrow political system, who went to the same elite university and even joined the same secret society to be socialized into the manners and attitudes of the rulers, and who are able to participate in the election because they have massive funding from highly concentrated sectors of unaccountable power that cast over society the shadow called "politics," as John Dewey put it.

"The more civilized sectors of the world"?!? Has Chomsky ever been to a developing country, where the denizens engage in such enlightend cultural pursuits as this, this, this and this. Oh, yeah, I forgot, Noam denied that last one ever happened.

And I question the standing of Third Worlders to laugh at the electoral choices available to First World voters when they have slates like this and this on offer. I'll just bet the Indonesians are slapping their thighs over Bush/Kerry.

Oh, and by the way Chomsky, if you want to be a blogger, can you at least get your permalinks to work.

Dipshit.

(Via Tim Blair)

It appears that China's infamous internet censors are now blocking all sites hosted by Typepad and blogs.com. Whether this is a temporary measure, possibly related to the post-election turmoil in Taiwan, or a permanant condition, remains to be seen.

More here, here and here.

Simon has more KMT egregiousness.

The fearsome Palistinian resistance, reduced to recruiting chicks, infants and now 'tards:

A 16-year-old Palestinian with a suicide bomb vest strapped to his body was caught at a crowded West Bank checkpoint Wednesday, setting off a tense encounter with Israeli soldiers whom the army said he was sent to kill.

The family of the teenager, identified as Hussam Abdo, said he was gullible and easily manipulated.

"He doesn't know anything, and he has the intelligence of a 12 year old," said his brother, Hosni.

Wednesday's confrontation began about 4 p.m. when soldiers at the Hawara checkpoint outside Nablus received intelligence a bomber was there. They shut down the crossing and began searching hundreds of people there, the military said.

"We saw that he had something under his shirt," said Lt. Tamir Milrad. The soldiers took cover behind concrete barricades, pointed their guns at the teenager and ordered him to stop.

On their orders, he took off his jersey, revealing a bulky gray bomb vest.

"He told us he didn't want to die. He didn't want to blow up," Milrad said.

The soldiers sent a small robot to hand Abdo scissors to cut off the vest, an incident captured in exclusive Associated Press Television News footage.

The teenager cut off part of the vest and struggled with the rest. "I don't how to get this off," he said in frustration before successfully removing it.

Sappers blew up the vest, which the army said was an 18-pound bomb.

Abdo, though 16, looked far younger, and the Israeli military initially said it believed he was 10 years old.

And what, you ask, motivates a mentally deficient 16 year old Muslim to blow himself up? Apparently the same bull-shit that persuades the able adults.

"It is sad and tragic," said Guy. "He was fully aware of his actions and wanted to blow up, as he was promised 72 virgins in heaven and NIS 100," Guy said.

Abdu, who lives in Nablus, told interrogators he was jeered at by his friends who made fun of him, and decided to take advantage of the offer.

"Blowing myself up is the only chance I've got to have sex with 72 virgins in the Garden of Eden," Abdu said his handlers had told him.

Pathetic. What's next, exploding, blind quadraplegics? Oops, sorry, the Israelis already arranged for that.

(Via Allah)

New Zealand's sheep will sleep uneasily tonight.

Defeated Taiwanese presidential candidate Lien Chan, and his fellow KMT running mate, James Soong, have demonstrated that they are seriously unfit for elected office in any democratic country. Since their election loss on Saturday, Lien and Soong have spread outrageous and scurrilous rumors, defied the rule of law, incited riots, disrupted the legislative process and vowed not to accept any judicial decision that fails to meet their illegal demands.

Within hours of the attempted assassination of rival candidate Chen Shui-bian, the KMT launched an SMS text-message campaign alleging that the attempt on Chen's was staged. That same night, KMT figures appeared on television speculating that the attempt on Chen's life was a fraud intended to steal the election.

Chen himself succinctly and effectively revealed the absurdity of thess claims when he observed:

"So, I stand in the car, and then a guy is supposed to shoot me with a bullet, through the windshield into my abdomen, but I should be careful to turn aside so the bullet will only cut a half-inch slice through me? Ok . . . what's Plan B?"

Since Chen's victory, the KMT -- and Lien and Soong personally -- have kept this absurd canard alive. In addition, they and other KMT leaders have actively encouraged tens of thousands of supporters to lay siege to the Presidential Office and to engage in threatening demonstrations elsewhere in which riot police have had to prevent the seizure of government buildings. KMT lawmakers have disrupted the legislature and engaged in fisticuffs on its floor.

Lien has demanded a recount of all election ballots, despite the fact that Taiwanese law does not provide for such a remedy. The election laws merely provide that the ballots at individual polling places me be recounted upon a showing of specific irregularities affecting the votes in that precinct. The KMT has not shown, nor can it show, such particularized irregularities. Instead Lien has vowed that he will refuse to accept any ruling that does grant a full recount and has threatened violent unrest from his supporters if the courts do not grant his demands.

It now appears that, to diffuse the crises and for the perceived good of the country, Chen and his party will agree to the enactment of new legislation which would authorize, retroactively, the recount that the KMT demands. Notwithstanding this concession, however, Lien is also demanding an investigation into unspecified fraud charges, regardless of the outcome of the recount, and KMT supporters plan another mass protest this weekend.

Were I Taiwanese, I probably would have voted for Lien in last week's election. Subsequent events have shown that would have been a serious misjudgement. There is, however, a possible silver lining to this cloud over Tawianese democracy is that the KMT is, beneath its surface, a seriously troubled party, riven with rifts and suffering from the loss of more than US$1 billion in assets it acquired during its monopoly rule. If Lien loses his bid to undo the results of the election -- and if there is any justice he surely will -- the current KMT leadership is almost certainly doomed and the party itself may fracture.

Good riddance.

Malaysia's opposition Islamic party, PAS, also claims to have been the victim of fraud in elections last week in which the party was trounced, losing 65% of the vote and 90% of the seats in the parliment. Actually, it was the victim of mismanagement in the states in which it held a majority and of the stupid and divisive campaign it waged, in which it vowed to force women to wear headscarves, impose Sharia law, claimed that rape and incest are the fault of women's failure to cover their hair and promised that all PAS voters would go to heaven.

I long ago gave up trying to understand the Japanese:

"Glorious Spring" is the undisputed darling of Japan's racetracks. Thousands pack the stands to watch the thoroughbred run, a new pop song sings her praises and a movie is in the works.

Glorious Spring — or "Haru-urara" in Japanese — was out doing what she does best on Monday, losing her 106th consecutive race, even with Japan's top jockey on her back. More than 10,000 fans braved the rain to watch her come in 10th out of 11 horses.

"It's better if she loses," said Noriyuki Fukui, 21, who came to the Shimbashi Wins off-track betting outlet in Tokyo to drop $9.30 on Haru-urara. "If she won, it wouldn't be so interesting anymore."

And on the subject of Japan, I've made my reservation at Hiiragiya Ryokan, where I'm counting on the traditional Japanese atmosphere and blooming cherry blossoms to work their romantic magic on the so far chaste Fabiana.

(Glorious Spring via Geisha Asobi)

Dan Drezner offers a balanced summery (with links to other views) of the Richard Clarke imbroglio. If you're interested in the subject, you should read it all. I have only this to add -- as both Colin Powell and Madelyn Albright testified at yesterday's 9-11 Commission hearings, there was absolutely no congressional or public support and no reasonable possibility of obtaining such support for the kind of military expedition in Afghanistan that would have been required to take out bin Laden and eliminate al Qaeda. There is also no realistic possibility that, in its first 7 months in office, the Bush administration could have rendered al Qaeda ineffective short of a military invasion of Afghanistan.

Furthermore, even had there been support for an effective military option against al Qaeda in its Afghan redoubt, there is no assurance at all that such an action would have prevented Mohamed Atta and his band of murderers -- who were already in the US and whose plans and training were largely completed -- from carrying out their attacks. Had they done so, you can rest assured that those attacks would have been attributed to retaliation for the US actions in Afghanistan.

I criticized the Clinton administration at the time and subsequently for its failure to retaliate in anything approaching an appropriate manner for repeated terrorist attacks on US targets. However, I don't believe that, given the limitations of public and congressional support, any realistically conceivable retaliation during the Clinton era would have prevented 9-11. To assert that Bush could have somehow accomplished in 8 months what Clinton could not in 8 years is not remotely plausible.

UPDATE: Peter Feaver comments on the Clinton "counter-terrorism as law enforcement" mindset and reminds one that, after the cut and run strategy Dick Clarke implemented and supervised after Somalia, perhaps he's not in a position to be criticizing any one else's resolve.

Hong Kong solicitor Paul Tse, my, ah-hem, professional colleague, has appealed the HK$130,000 (US$16,700) disciplinary fine imposed upon him for stripping down to his underwear in the city center.

In March 2001, Tse removed his suit and tie and paraded around Central, holding a strategically placed protest sign, before attending a Solicitors Disciplinary Tribunal hearing where previous charges against him -- for complaints alleging professional misconduct, for posing nearly-naked on the cover of Next Magazine in 1999, and for an interview in which he reportedly nodded as his girlfriend described lawyers as "vampires" and "bloodsuckers" -- were being considered.

Hong Kong's pampered and over-staffed civil service is, in the face of an improving local economy, agitating for the withdrawal of the 3% pay cut agreed to by the public sector unions last year. According to today's SCMP, Felix Cheung, chairman of the Hong Kong Civil Servants General Union, demanded that officials stop the reduction:

"Now, as the economy is picking up again, the government has proved that it can improve governance. As the private sector is giving pay rises to staff, we believe the remaining 3 per cent cut should not be carried out. Halting the cut would help stimulate the economy, and more spending by civil servants could help solve deflation," Mr Cheung said.

Hong Kong's structural budget deficit for the 2004/05 fiscal year is forecast at HK$42.6 billion (US$5.48 billion) -- actually HK$62.1 billion (US$7.98 billion) if the proceeds of a HK$20 billion (US$2.75 billion) bond offering are excluded, as they properly should be. Civil Service staffing costs account for approximately 60% of that and public sector employees are vastly over-paid.

Comparing civil service salaries with those earned by the upper quartile (75th percentile) of Hong Kong's private sector, total cash compensation (excluding housing allowances) for civil servants is 17% higher than private sector salaries. Add in the cost of benefits (excluding housing and education benefits, which are also significant) and the average total remuneration in the civil service is 40% higher than that of the upper quartile in the private sector.

That's 40% more -- not counting housing and education benefits -- than the city's best paid private sector professionals.

And what do we receive in return for this largess? Anyone visiting Immigration or Revenue Tower (or following the saga of the Yuen Long crocodile) knows the answer to that, incompetence, make-work and feather-bedding.

Meanwhile, the private sector pay raises cited by the government employee unions to justify cancelling their pay reductions, are piddling. According to the SCMP:

Survey results from the [private] Employers' Federation of Hong Kong on Monday showed that 128 out of 199 firms had reviewed workers' salaries in January or February and raised pay by 0.31% on average, compared with 0.09% last year. The remaining 71 said they planned to raise pay by 0.24% later this year.

So, to summarize, our pampered public servants want to add to Hong Kong's budget deficit and keep their snouts firmly planted in the government trough because the lower orders -- restaurant workers, security guards and retail clerks -- will, on average, earn one quarter of 1% more than they did last year, and that after 3 to 4 years of essentially flat private sector wages.

I have a suggestion -- send these pigs to slaughter. Fire every one of them who can't convincingly explain, in 25 words or less, why Hong Kong would be materially worse off if he didn't show up for work the next morning. As for the remainder, cut their compensation in half (on the grounds that government workers should, as a matter of first principles, not earn more than the bulk of the private sector workers supporting them).

Oh, and use the event to demonstrate to our CCP brethren our patriotic devotion to "socialism with Chinese characteristics", by having anyone who complains summarily shot.

Article 7 of the founding charter of the terrorist group Hamas states:

"The Day of Judgment will not come about until Moslems fight Jews and kill them. Then, the Jews will hide behind rocks and trees, and the rocks and trees will cry out: 'O Moslem, there is a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill him.'"

Perhaps, but at the moment it appears to be wheelchairs crying out "O Jew, there is a Moslem sitting in me, come and kill him."

An SMS exchange this afternoon with an unidentified sender:

"I love you"

Uh oh.

"Sorry but your message shows no name or number. Who is this"

"U bangsat murah! Selamat jalan." [translation from Bahasa -- "You cheap scoundrel! Good bye." or, to be more literal "You cheap bedbug! Good bye."]

Oh well. . . .

UPDATE: It seems she's really pissed off, whoever she is. The latest:

"U ular berbisa menggit prostitut chief."

"Ular berbisa" means "venomous snake" and "prostitut chief" is self-explanatory, but I've never encountered the word "menggit" before. Any Bahasa speakers out there? I'm hesitant to ask anyone I know, on the assumption that it's unspeakably vile.

The Mississippi Supreme Court on Thursday upheld a state law banning the sale of sex toys.

Section 97-29-105 of the Mississippi Code provides that:

knowingly selling, advertising, publishing or exhibiting any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genitalia ("sexual devices") is illegal.

Justice Bill Waller Jr., writing for the court, said that the state has a fundimental interest in "protecting public physical and mental health and supporting public morality."

Having met Bill Waller, all I can say is that, if dildos are illegal, Waller ought to have himself impounded immediately.

Oops:

A Thai man who held the record for spending time with snakes has died after being bitten by a mamba.

Boonreung Bauchan made it into the Guinness World Records after spending seven days in an enclosure with snakes in 1998.

Mr Boonreung was showing villagers a new cobra he had removed from the jungle when he was bitten.

He carried on with the show after taking a herbal medicine and a shot of whisky, but then collapsed.

Who would have guessed that a shot of whisky is not an effective cobra bite remedy?

Carla del Ponte, the utterly useless Swiss bint who, through staggering incompetence, has managed to turn the Slobodan Milosevic trial into an inconclusive two-year blatherfest -- and the defense hasn't even opened its case yet -- now wants Saddam Hussein performing at her circus:

"My opinion is that an ad hoc international criminal tribunal will be the best instrument to have a fair trial against Saddam Hussein," she said.

The court "could be near Iraq," she said. This would make the collection and transfer of evidence easier.

"It is difficult to conduct the trial if politics interfere. To avoid interference from outside, I think an international court could serve best," she said.

The Milosevic "trial", and del Ponte's performance in particular, has been a jurisprudential train-wreck. Furthermore, she was fired from a similar position with the Rwandan genocide commission -- where, despite an annual budget of US$180 million, the Tribunal failed to complete a single case a year -- amid accusations of poor management, corruption, delay and failing to protect witnesses.

Saddam murdered and oppressed Iraqis. It's the right of the Iraqi people, through their soon to be constituted government, to try and punish him. Yet the very internationalists who are otherwise so concerned about Iraq's sovereignty are, when it provides an opportunity to expand their own purview, happy to strip the Iraqis of their sovereign right to try their former oppressor.

This weekend brings the yearly YobFest to Hong Kong as the city will be awash in drunken, boorish, paunchy lager-louts. As is my annual practice, I do not intend to be here to endure it.

Friday sees me off to Kyoto to share this year's early cherry blossom bloom with the lovely half-Japanese and half-Portugese Fabiana. Hopefully the riff-raff and detritus will be cleared from the streets by the time I return.

UPDATE: While the early spring bloom has worked out well for me, for others it poses a crises:

"Peach-girl companions," escorts specializing in flower-viewing parties, are in short supply.

"All the old guys who make up our regulars have booked escorts for mid-March, much earlier than normal," a spokesman for Enkai Okoku (Party Kingdom), a party caterer, tells Shukan Taishu. "The trouble is, that's also the exact time all the university students we get to work as escorts are taking their graduation holidays, or getting ready for their new classes. We can't find enough girls to fill our orders. We've got the business, but we have to turn away so many customers, it's painful."

. . . .

Every flower-viewing season, people from companies will come along and offer us food and booze if we agree to save a spot for them," says a bum living in Tokyo's Ueno Park, one of the capital's prime cherry blossom viewing sites. "This year, the flowers have come so early, the park operators haven't marked out the areas where people can party yet, so nobody has come along to ask us to get them some space."

I guess it sucks to be an old guy or a bum.

The Guardian eulogizes hell's newest resident, Sheikh Ahmed Yassin:

President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt and the Palestinian prime minister, Ahmed Qurei, both called [the killing of Yassin] a "cowardly act"- a phrase that tends to be over-used in such situations, though when a partially blind 69-year-old quadriplegic is blown to bits in his wheelchair from the safety of an Israeli helicopter, they may have a point.

As opposed to when women and children are blown to bits in public buses on the orders of said partially blind 69-year-old quadriplegic from the safety of his home.

In 1998 Yassin was interviewed by in al Quds, during which the following exchange occured:

Question: Do you expect Israel to attempt to assassinate you?

Yassin: I will be very happy if that happens. I wish they had done it already -- if they have the talent for it. The day in which I will die as a shahid [martyr] will be the happiest day of my life.

It's nice to see a win-win outcome in the Middle East for a change.

Two dozen laid-off employees of a Guangzhou hotel threatened to jump from the building's sixth floor unless the company provided promised unemployment benefits.

The former employees sat on a parapet, while representatives negotiated with the hotel's management.

Meanwhile firefighters set up inflatable mattresses below.

The group's representative, Li Lilian, said they wanted general manager Yu Xiuwei to keep a promise he made last July to buy them retirement insurance amounting to 7.5 million yuan.

When nothing was done, the group took its grievances to a provincial Communist Party committee last month, but an official said it could not tell the hotel what to do. A lawyer explained that Gitic had used up a 50 million yuan down-payment for the sale of its headquarters building for severance pay and interest on bank loans.

"We were very upset to hear this and we decided that the only thing to do is to take our own lives by jumping down," Ms Li said.

However, rather than jumping, it seems they made a picnic of it:

A resident of the building said lunchboxes were sent up to the protesters and police were overhead saying that they were to be given Coca-Cola instead of water, to get them to go to the toilet faster because of its caffeine content. Those who left to relieve themselves were not allowed to rejoin the group, and by mid-afternoon their number had halved.

Those with larger bladders eventually came down from the ledge of their own accord.

Today's South China Morning Post reports that China has placed its army on "combat alert, ready to strike Taiwan if the island's election dispute intensifies."

I, for one, am sceptical and suspect the SCMP is exaggerating.

Breaking news:

A senior Taiwanese official says Taiwanese President Chen Shui-bian and Vice President Annette Lu were both shot and wounded Friday while campaigning on the last day before the presidential election.

They did not suffer life-threatening injuries. They urge the public to cool down," said Chiou I-jen, secretary-general in the Presidential Office, at a news conference held after about an hour of rumors sweeping through Taiwan on what had happened.

Chiou said the president was shot in the stomach, and the vice president was hit in the right knee as their motorcade made its way through the streets of the southern city of Tainan.

An unidentified party official who was traveling with the president said both Chen and Lu were able to walk into the emergency room.

I assume this insures a win for Chen in this weekend's polls.

It appears that both the White House and key Republican Congressmen knew, prior to the enactment of the Medicare prescription drug benefit, that the Health and Human Services Department actuary was projecting that the bill would actually cost US$551 billion over ten years and not US$400 billion, as was being publicly claimed.

After the bill became law, the administration raised its official cost estimate to $US534 billion

The bill passed the House by a vote of 220 to 215, but only after much arm twisting of recalcitrant Republicans. Had the actuary's estimate been known by the rank-and-file, its very likely that the bill would have failed.

In short, the Bush administration and the Congressional Republican leadership knowingly omitted a material fact intending to induce reliance upon the incomplete information and such reliance did, in fact, occur. That, ladies and gentlemen is very definition of fraud.

That the Democrats are now raising hell is ironic, since the plan they favored would have cost twice as much, but the fact that their accuser is a hypocrite does not mitigate the Republican's offense.

If the facts are as reported, this is a fraud upon the American taxpayer, plain and simple. Heads ought to roll. It's unfortunate the Democrats have left me no palatable choice but to vote to retain this bunch in the White House.

(Via Mark Kleiman)