FIFTH AVENUE

when JOAN COLLINS gave me the invite to the party celebrating her new novel, MISFORTUNE'S DAUGHTERS, i recognized the address as the penthouse apartment of DENISE RICH. i've been to countless parties at DENISE'S apartment overlooking CENTRAL PARK. in fact, it was at one of her parties that i met the great DAVID BOWIE.

i met DENISE nine years ago through SAMI McKINNEY, and the three us went on to write a song recorded by MARHA WASH called COME. attending last night's party was, REGIS PHILBIN, that negro woman from THE VIEW, TONY DANZA, NEIL SEDAKA, JOAN & her husband PERCY GIBSON, and about twenty members of the press. me and my friend TIM WALLIS hung out there for about 45 minutes, then we went to THE VILLAGE to get cheeseburgers with no buns.

HELLO DOLLY

if you wanna check out my new dolls, CLICK HERE.

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DON"T FORCE IT, DON"T PUSH IT!

i screwed up big time. i couldn't update the software on my IBOOK because i forgot my password, so i figured the solution was to create a new "user". it worked, but boy what a big mistake! by updating everything, i lost my playlists in ITUNES, i can't access my email addresses or open certain folders. i resisted updating software for many years because a friend once told me "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". i'm afraid my friend was right.

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LUCKY BITCHES

i knew that JOAN COLLINS would be calling on the phone today, but i had absolutely no reason to believe that she would ever come up to our studio in person. well, that's exactly what she did! our producer's plan was to surprise me, and boy, did he ever...i was gobsmacked! we were live, on the air and MICHELLE was in the middle of her entertainment scoop when ALEXIS MORELL CARRINGTON COLBY DEXTER ROWAN walked in. i immediately started screaming! i couldn't believe it! in fact, they were all prepared with digital cameras to catch my unravelling. i've met all the greats except for JOAN, who was there to promote her new novel MISFORTUNE'S DAUGHTERS. we all spent a wonderful hour in the company of a gracious, sassy, gorgeous creature called JOAN. i could've spent a lifetime with her. she is so fucking captivating! i do believe my list is complete.

JUST WHITNEY

i popped into the WHITNEY MUSEUM to use the restroom (too much water at the gym) and decided to check out the collection since i was there. within 10 minutes, i fell madly in love with EDWARD HOPPER. i had seen his work before, but this time it just worked my pussy overtime. i feel like such a late blooming, art loving dork because everybody loves his shit. i guess it's hard for me to admit that i'm just like everybody else.

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HAVE METRO CARD, WILL TRAVEL

after being away from NEW YORK CITY for so many years, i made a vow to visit more galleries and museums now that i live here again. so saturday, i took the A train up to 190th street to see THE CLOISTERS. i'm kind of embarrassed to say that i had never been there before, because it's pretty fucking amaahzing. again, THIS MORTAL COIL provided the perfect soundtrack to the museum, which exhibits relics from the 12th through 15th century.

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON was awesome on sunday. she'll be back in MARCH.

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I"M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY

since it was HARLEM, i decided to listen to BILLIE HOLIDAY as i strolled through the park to view THE GATES from up there, but BILLIE didn't quite feel right. she wasn't eerie enough.

the next playlist (on my Ipod) i tried was BLACK SABBATH. still, it wasn't right.

then it hit me, and boy was it the obvious choice...the GIORGIO MORODER movie scores playlist including CAT PEOPLE, SCARFACE, MIDNIGHT EXPRESS and my all-time favorite AMERICAN GIGOLO.

i used to take 4 hits of acid and lay around my apartment while listening to that album on repeat. of course, that was 20 years ago, but the trippy sensation was still with me as i walked from 110th street to 59th street.

saturday, i saw INSIDE DEEP THROAT. the film was fantastic!!! i can't believe they were able to use the shot of LINDA LOVELACE going down on HARRY REEMS and keep their NC-17 rating. that one shot keeps reverberating in my ...er, um head. it's so fucking hot! HARRY REEMS is so fucking sexy, even today.

i saw the original film at the PUSSYCAT THEATER in SAN DIEGO when i turned 18. the only thing i remembered of the film was her driving my favorite car ever made, a 1969 CADILLAC EL DORADO, and HARRY REEMS' juicy cock. oh, and yes, i remember feeling really self-conscious as i sat down in a triple X-rated theater, surrounded by six older dudes in trench coats.

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ORANGE IS MY FAVORITE COLOR

it felt like walking through a dream that i knew i would never forget, and i sensed everyone else felt the same way... the time THE GATES came to CENTRAL PARK.

several times during the experience, my eyes welled up with tears because i couldn't believe how blessed i was, how blessed i am...of course, the fact that i had THIS MORTAL COIL blasting through my BOSE headphones had a little something to do with my emotional state.

tuesday was an unusually warm day in february, so i felt very clever with just a sweater, everybody else bundled up in heavy coats and hats. i had just come from the gym, so my blood was still racing, pulsating on a natural high. i honestly didn't expect to be so moved by the installation.

i think i'll go back tomorrow, but this time from the HARLEM perspective.

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...SO MUCH FOR MY BIG OPENING

sunday night, i filmed a cameo in MICHAEL LUCAS' big budget, triple X-travaganza DANGEROUS LIAISONS. it's always such a thrill to meet my favorite porn stars, and last night was no exception.

OWEN HAWK is a genius at projecting sexual empowerment with no shame in his game, which is the crowning glory of the new generation of porn stars.

GUS MATTOX has a sparkle in his eye that reads on camera as intelligence, clarity and playfulness. i'm pleased to announce that those same qualities are true for him off camera.

also making cameos were AMANDA LePORE, BOY GEORGE and THE LADY BUNNY.


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A RETURN TO LOVE

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON is coming up to the studio to spend an hour with us on the radio.
this will happen in less than 5 hours from now. i couldn't be more excited!!!

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WePOD

TIM had never been to THE GAEITY and he absolutely loved it. it was a good night, too...lots of hot fockers.
the most fun of the night was when we lip-synced SAME SCRIPT, DIFFERENT CAST on the train platform while waiting for the R. i always do WHITNEY while he takes care of DEBORAH. i have one of those headphone splitters, so we do it as other people look on in silence. he does an awesome NEVER BEEN TO ME (by CHARLENE) that floors me every time.

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CAMP

i love "camp" because it blows the lid on self-righteousness and reminds me to not take life so seriously. it also makes tolerable the rampant hypocrisy that stains our culture like a 500 year old cum rag.

what is "camp"? watch THIS EXCELLENT EXAMPLE.

yesterday, i went down to RECORD RUNNER in the village and bought the re-mastered, re-issued LIZA MINNELLI / PET SHOP BOYS 1989 collabo entitled RESULTS. i'll never forget the time she and her posse showed up at THE LOVE MACHINE and requested LOSING MY MIND. LARRY TEE didn't have it, but he did play some PET SHOP BOYS for her.

RESULTS is one of my stranded on a desert island cd's. i've bought it countless times to turn on new friends. the re-issue brings the STEVE "SILK" HURLEY remix of LOVE PAINS, plus extended mixes of DON'T DROP BOMBS and LOSING MY MIND. also included is a DVD of the music videos from the album.

i also picked up a "promo only" of MARIAH'S BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK with 10 dance remixes.

HERE IS MY STRANDED ON A DESERT ISLAND TOP TEN LIST:

1. THE BOSS...DIANA ROSS
2. LOW...DAVID BOWIE
3. RESULTS...LIZA
4. EYES THAT SEE IN THE DARK...KENNY ROGERS
5. NEVER SAY NEVER...BRANDY
6. IT"S A MAN'S...WORLD...CHER
7. HEARTBREAKER...DIONNE WARWICK
8. EVERY TIME...PAM TILLIS
9. COMPLICATED...TANYA TUCKER
10. ANY LOVE...LUTHER VANDROSS

thanks geoffery olsen and john torelli
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THE LADY...

...BUNNY sent me this link. "that's hot!"


The Beast 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2004



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DENVER-CARRINGTON vs. COLBYCO EXTRAVAGANZA

it's still very hard for me to believe that i work in the corporate world.
the corporate political system is like being on SURVIVOR island...
everyday there's a new twist.

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A DATE IN OHIO

i always have an awesome time in OHIO, and this weekend was no exception. we left MANHATTAN saturday morning before the blizzard hit, and got to DAYTON after the snow had already fallen there. 9 times out of 10, i have a really good time doing my night club act, but saturday night was a stand out good time for me. the venue had great sound and lighting, the stage was big and accessible and the audience couldn't have been more lovely. during my monologue, i even got the crowd to sing the chorus of BABY MAMA with me! i think OHIO is so cool because it's geographically east enough to be civilized, yet still heartland enough to not be jaded. i can't wait to go back ...maybe COLUMBUS ...maybe CINCINNATI.

MY TOP TEN SONGS (in me own head this week)

1. BABY MAMA....FANTASIA (i can't get enough of this song)

2. GET RIGHT...J-LO (i can't explain why i like this "song")

3. INSIDE...MONICA (an 8 year old diane warren song)

4. SAME SCRIPT, DIFFERENT CAST...WHITNEY & DEBORAH (5th year in the top 10)

5. IF...DESTINY"S CHILD

6. MAKE YOUR MOVE...DAVE ARMSTRONG w/ THE POINTER SISTERS

7. IF...BANANARAMA (i've read about this song for 2 years, now i finally have it)

8. OUT OF TOUCH '04...HALL & OATES

9. TRUTHFULLY...BRANDY

10. OBJECT OF MY DESIRE...STARPOINT

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GORGEOUS

i'm in love with the new FANTASIA single called BABY MAMA.
i can't get it outta my head.

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WHAT 'TIME' HAS TAUGHT ME

JUSTIN made the transition. he was only 23.
FRANKIE got fired. he's the one who invited me.
MICHELLE is on her way. i can't wait.
ME? i'm just rollin' wit' it.

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WHAT?

my lecture agent had me do a 7 minute piece at MERKIN HALL (ha ha) tonight for potential bookers. the first person i ran into backstage was AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS. we had never met, but i've been all up in his grill recently because i just finished reading his latest book and have just started his RUNNING WITH SCISSORS. he told me that he just bought my new album last night. how fucking not weird is that!

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SLEEPLESS IN MIDTOWN

after the radio show this morning, i got up into drag to host the PBS t.v. show IN THE LIFE. now it's 1AM and i can't sleep. the car comes for me at 4:45 AM. it seems the only time i can fall asleep is during the day. what the fuck am i gonna to do? this shit is fuckin' killing me! what do you know about sleep therapy?

just finished AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS' MAGICAL THINKING. i really enjoyed it.

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LIFE PAINS

TOM would get very teary-eyed everytime the thought of my relocation would occur to him. i would then say "oh please! i will not be a party to your refusal to except the time/space continuum theory!" of course, after saying that, i would remember my dear ol' mother saying to me "ru, you fucking reminisce too much! you're too goddamned sentimental!"

years of processing has taught me that my mom was actually just like me, and she didn't want me to become a victim of my own heartbreak ... just like she had. thus, total emotional shut down.

i can't afford to do that anymore, and i won't force my loved ones to comply just to spare me the love pains that life doles out. so go right ahead TOMMY BOY, feel however your heart desires over my eminent departure. i feel the same way you do, i just have a long history of covering up my feelings.

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MY CHRISTMAS VACATION

it's official. i no longer live in LA.

the two weeks i spent packing up my house were emotional, therapeutic and a beautiful benchmark that i will always cherish. my whole family came together (including my PA) to help me and JOELLE sort through the past six years of my life out there.

all the laughter, heartbreak, spiritual growth, solitude and new alliances are represented in that house, but the lessons learned and the love accepted i will carry with me wherever i go.

after years of being a gypsy, i knew to give away two thirds of my possessions to make room for new things (i even sold my car to my little sister for a dollar).

and so begins another chapter.
hello NEW YORK.

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I CAN"T MUSTER A PARAGRAPH.

CHER.
last sunday night.
me and ARI GOLD.
NASSAU COLISEUM, LONG ISLAND.
fan-fucking-tastic!
i saw the same tour 2 years ago in VEGAS, but now it has some new costumes and
a few new songs (some songs were taken out).
completely sold-out (her 281 performance of this show).
less than 100 black people in the arena.
VILLAGE PEOPLE opened for her.
me and DAVID DALRYMPLE saw her at the same venue about 15 years ago.
i can't wait to see her again.

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SHIPPING OUT

i'll spend the next 2 weeks in LOS ANGELES
packing up my house
during my vacation from the radio station.
i never thought i'd ever miss L.A.
but i do.

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