The Wayback Machine - http://web.archive.org/web/20040411045707/http://www.allguinness.com:80/

AllGuinness

Home Jenner, CA Movies The Round Corner Getupoffmynuttster Contact Me
About FAQ Site Map Guestwriter Cerealized Christmas Cards GeeGaws Million dollar ideas
{Why Blink?} AllGuinness Anger Management bluishorange brandonian Everyday Stranger Ftrain Golublog Jennifer's History and Stuff Me3dia Oddtodd Pepper of the Earth Stivly Sedalina stu's rants zeldman Intellectual Poison Steamed Rice Kaetchen Rides the Short Bus The Dillhole Spotter RoCoBlog mimi smartypants Blogroll Me!
My Bitching Pays Off, Kings Back On Track Hey! Fatso! Yeah, You! If it Works, Everything Changes. Mostly I Was Asleep Food TV Store In Surprise Move Kings Sign Guinness Wieland Pimpgnosis Enough For Ya? Jack Off All Trades. Masturbate None. So I Got That Goin' For Me. Which is Nice I May Not Know Art, But I Know What I Like All Movies, All the Time The Rising Tides Near Webber's Eyes
April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003
April 2004
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30  


< ? California Blogs # >
< ? MT blog # >
<< ? sac blogs # >>
Movable Type 2.64 Syndicate this site (XML)

GuestWriter entry link
link to cafepress

April 07, 2004

My Bitching Pays Off, Kings Back On Track

Main

Sure, wins over the struggling Rockets and the terrible Hornets may not be the most impressive in the season, but I think that they are the start of the turn-around to save the Kings season. They control their own destiny now. If they keep on winning they can't be caught. They face two much tougher tests this week in the Timberwolves and the Lakers, but both of the games are in Sacramento, and I think that the Kings have a pretty decent chance to win out for the season. Miller is back and playing well already. Maybe Jackson will be back soon, and all will be well again.

I am going to have a massive ulcer by the time the playoffs start, and from there it only gets worse, but that is part of the fun. When you really care about your team, their play has the power to actually mold your life. Bring the pain.

Watch the mighty Kings roll to victory.

Posted by Guinness on April 07, 2004
Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 05, 2004

Hey! Fatso! Yeah, You!

Main

I was just reading an article in the Sacramento Bee about how we are all fat and need to lose weight, and how it will kill us in the next few weeks if we don't, or something along those lines. We have all heard that before, and it is all true. I have no problem with the articles telling me things I am well aware of.

Towards the end I got the usual message from the fat crybabies of America, that talking bad about fat people contributes to their bad self-image, and is demeaning. Well duh.

As a fat person I rarely think that I should have a good self-image. Am I supposed to walk up the stairs, gasp for breath, and feel good about the current state of affairs? I should feel bad about it. I am a fat bastard, and the entire situation is my own fault. I don't have some pituitary problem, I like to eat. It is not that I am forced to eat the super-sized fries, it is probably the extra big-mac and chicken sandwich I am ordering in addition to the whole meal. I jam tremendous amounts of calories in my pie-hole, and then sit on my ass while it turns to fat. Should I feel good about this?

Those of us who are to blame of for our actual image ought to have a bad self-image. At least then we are in touch with reality.

I'm hungry. I ate a baby.

Posted by Guinness on April 05, 2004
Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

If it Works, Everything Changes.

Main

Have you seen this? I saw it last week on MetaFilter and finally got to it here. It is the Magnetic Motor. People have been working on this type of stuff for years, but this seems to be an example that might actually work. Do you see what this means?

This motor produces almost no noise. It produces no pollution. It produces more power than is put into it. WTF? This is like magic. It is like a rail gun that has been wrapped on itself. Read this article, and figure out what is up with this.

There are several things I need to know before I can determine if the entire world as we know it will change in the near future.

What is the lifetime of this motor? How long do the magnets last? is there a limit to their life, or what?

What is the cost on magnets? Do we have to find natural magnets, or is the cost of creating the magnets small enough to just make all we need?

If we do need to make our own magnets (probable), how much electricity do we need to put into them to get them to be the required magnets? Is this amount too much more than can be derived out of the motor later?

If the life of these motors is long, and if the magnets can be obtained cheaply in terms of money and electricity, then everything in the world changes, and I mean quickly. Like in the next ten years. Why would we wait on something like this?

Could it be April Fools? It seems too good to be real.

Posted by Guinness on April 05, 2004
Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Mostly I Was Asleep

Main

I went and saw Hellboy on Saturday. Mostly I have positive things to say about it. I think most of the reviews I read said something about how the plot was pretty ordinary and the fight scenes pretty repetitive, but the interactions between the characters was god enough to propel the movie by themselves. I agree with this view. I really liked the way the characters interacted, and especially how Hellboy himself was portrayed. Selma Blair's character was a little weak, but not too terrible. I had never read the comic book, but it ended up not bothering me, as the story wasn't too confusing without the background. Some reviewers thought that the beginning was too much like the Indiana Jones start, but I can't complain about that. Nazis are used because they are good villains. I like them in the movies. They are always easy to put in as representatives of the ultimate evil.

I wanted to see Hellboy and The Passion of the Christ back to back just for the comedy value in the titles, but ended up not doing that.

Over the weekend I also purchased Brother Bear and Something's Got to Give. Both were good. It was one of those times when I buy things on faith alone without having seen them. Usually a stupid move. This time I was pleased with both of the movies, and am glad to add them to my total. Brother Bear was good, but felt almost like scenes had been cut. I would liked to have had a bit more character development in the mix.

On Sunday I drove up to the area where Sutter's Mill was located. This was where gold was discovered in California leading to the rush in 1848. I think I must have been there as a child, but couldn't remember about it. It stuck me as odd that I never went up there, as it is really only about an hour from my house. I was just driving around with no real goal, so I didn't stop to look around, but I plan on getting up there and checking it out sometime in the next twenty years, or so.

My parents took me to Sidewalk Pizza when they told me that my mother was pregnant with my brother. I had Sidewalk Pizza last night.

I think that this weekend mostly I was asleep.

Posted by Guinness on April 05, 2004
Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 02, 2004

Food TV Store

Million dollar ideas

Little gourmet stores are all around, and there are some good cookware stores around, but really they don't have much of a hook, and they are really only good to the people who know about them. That's fine and all, but it can be done much better.

I'm thinking a Food Network store that you might find n your local mall. Lets take a look at how this store could be. I see the store as sectioned off into the different shows that are on the network. The Sections could focus on different types of things. I have sometimes watched the Chocolate program with Jacque Torres. He frequently makes mention of little molds for chocolate that can be got at specialty shops. Now I walk into the Food TV shop, and there are the molds, and even better they are the ones that he suggested I use on the show. Right next to the molds are some of the tools he uses. There is a shelf hanger with instructions and hints for a recent project. There is a cookbook by him. And right there is all the different chocolate products I could ever want.

I wander the store a bit more, and enter the Food Finds section. There is the salsa I saw on the show the week before, right next to the very special maple syrup from Vermont. Now I don't have to wander the internet sites or remember phone numbers, I can actually make an impulse buy of a specialty item. Arranged with each item is the story from the show about why they are special.

The Unwrapped section features classic candies and snacks from around the country, with information about how they are made, and the history behind them.

Cookbooks abound in every section and in the store in general.

Emeril's section features his line of cookware and his "Essence", as well as souvenirs.

The Naked Chef section may have items from England that are hard to find in the average American market.

The thing is, everywhere there is a tie in to some show on the network. Little bits of background information on the food or product you are about to buy.

In the back of the store is a demonstration kitchen where the store can partner with chefs at local restaurants for cooking demonstrations, samplings, and wine tastings. Perhaps the stars of some of the shows can go on promotional tours, visiting the store locations and having demonstrations for their local fans. The store become more immersive than just a place to shop.

To cross promote, when an unusual ingredient or other product is used on a network show, a message can appear at the bottom of the screen to inform the viewer that this product may be purchased at their local Food TV store.

Untapped market.

Posted by Guinness on April 02, 2004
Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

In Surprise Move Kings Sign Guinness Wieland

Main

Enacting the NBA's rarely used "It can't get any worse" rule, the Sacramento Kings signed slovenly Guinness Wieland to start at the two guard position. Even though the clearly overweight and generally out of shape Wieland hasn't played any sort of ball for years, the Kings organization announced the move today to "at least inject some levity into what has turned out to be a really depressing end to the season."

Coach Adelman was heard to say, "I really wanted to turn over my coaching job to him, as he couldn't possible do any worse than I have done, but the administration wanted him in a more visual role."

Apparently, Geoff Petrie was also hoping for some savings under the salary cap, as the players union has allowed an exemption so that in this isolated case Wieland will be allowed to play with only the official jersey and all the beer he can drink as compensation.

When asked about the change, Doug Christie, who Wieland will be replacing in the lineup, stated, "I guess it doesn't bother me too much. How pleasant do you think it was for me to be out on the floor and get embarrassed every night?"

Wieland will be playing with number 269 to reflect his current rotundity.

Related news from around the league:

Posted by Guinness on April 02, 2004
Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April 01, 2004

Pimpgnosis Enough For Ya?

Main

I know that you all think I am just slacking around all the time, not ever getting anything done, but has it ever occurred to you that I might be working behind the scenes to make your internet experience fuller and better all the time? Well it's true. You see, I care about stuff like that. I just want my guests to feel happy and comfortable, and by the time they leave they should feel like they got more than their money's worth.

At this task I have toiled in the shadows, bringing together the greatest minds around and assembling them together to form one super mind. No wait, that's not right. There is no super mind. Where are my notes?

Right. Instead of the super mind, we have gotten together to write an online magazine of sorts. We are all contributing our time and thoughts to make the internet better for you. I hope your properly grateful.

What is it, you ask? Why it is Pimpgnosis, of course.

Stay tuned to this and associated stations for more bat-info.

Posted by Guinness on April 01, 2004
Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Jack Off All Trades. Masturbate None.

Main

I don't really have an entry to go with that title, but the title is so good, I have to use it anyway.

Did you see the score in the Kings game? What you live in Chicago, or England, and couldn't possibly give a shit about the Kings? I care?

Damn they suck right now. They have no idea how to play with the team configured as it is. The coach needs to realize this and do something about it. Will he? I doubt it. If they play like they have for the past three weeks they will lose in the first round, and probably badly.

Webber feels betrayed? I feel betrayed. Here they are rolling over teams all year, and now, at the end, when the push comes, they are falling like a house of cards. It is almost painful to watch them play right now. The execution is terrible. They look all uncoordinated out there. It's like they have never seen their teammates before.

Mostly, it just makes me sad.

Posted by Guinness on April 01, 2004
Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

So I Got That Goin' For Me. Which is Nice

Main

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test, and don't say shit about it.

I saw this first on me3dia, and decided that an occasional one of these tests is fun.

Posted by Guinness on April 01, 2004
Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)

March 30, 2004

I May Not Know Art, But I Know What I Like

Main

I believe there is an absolute truth, and that this truth exists for all things, big and small. There is a best item on the menu at McDonald's. There is a best pop song ever written. There is a right way to pair food and wine. What I don't really know is what that truth is.

I think that most people believe is that these are all matters of opinion, and that people who choose the Big Mac and the Quarter Pounder are both correct, if only for themselves. I agree that they are picking what their opinion of the best is, and that they are choosing what they like, but in the end, one of them is wrong (I admit it may be both, and the final correct answer is the humble cheeseburger). We all believe that our view of the best is the correct one, and we must or we would be constantly filled with self doubt. In fact, we frequently must admit the possible validity of other people's choices. How then am I so sure that there is one true choice? For me the answer lies in the very choices of others. Let me show you an example. Let us say that two people are talking and one states that "Beat It" is the best pop song ever written. The other, while admitting that while "Beat It" is a good pop song, clearly "Hey Jude" is the better pop song. Both of these people are able to understand the view of the other. This does not mean that they are ready to change their views on the best pop song, but they can at least accept that both have made relatively good attempts at guessing what the true best pop song is. Now a third person enters the conversation and claims that Madonna's "Like a Prayer" is the best pop song ever. (This example could have been made more absurd with some Brittany Spears song, but whatever). This is how we can tell that there is an absolute right answer. Two of the people in the example have made guesses that at least approach the right answer, while the third person, who holds the opinion just as fervently, has made a guess so far from the truth as to be ridiculous. The other two can only admit that the song sold a lot of copies and created a little managed controversy, but neither of them would accept the position of the other. As it turns out they are all wrong, and the correct answer is "Come on Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners. There is an absolute truth, and thus are some opinions more valid than others.

Though all other's believe I am full of shit, I believe that everything I say is the closest to the truth about anything, and holding other opinions may expose you to ridicule when the time comes that the truth is revealed. And by that I don't mean armageddon or anything, but rather that the truth will be exposed during a very expensive ad campaign at Super Bowl halftime.

See you then, suckers.

Posted by Guinness on March 30, 2004
Comments (20) | TrackBack (0)

March 29, 2004

All Movies, All the Time

Main

Saturday was the big movie day for me. I bought eight movies at Virgin and went to two in the theaters. I got (lets see if I can remember) Risky Business, Roman Holiday, Breakfast at Tiffany's, The Mask, 48 Hours, An American President, and two others that escape me at the moment. I finally went out and saw The Return of the King, and I saw The Lady Killers. Here are my thoughts on these two movies. Blah and eh, respectively. First to the eleven oscar juggernaut that is the return of the king. It was pretty much what I thought it would be. Ordinary acting in a substandard script. Fantastic effects, granted, but so what? Best picture? I would say it was the tenth best that I had anything to do with on that day, and I can't even remember the names of two of them. Still it was entertaining and all. Lots of flashy blinking things, or something. Most of the time I was just bored watching it. And seriously, somebody should have put a bullet in the last twenty minutes of that movie. So dull. Lady Killers (Ladykillers?) was alright. A bit of good dialog, and a bit of good acting, but for the most part it was just ordinary. I wouldn't say go or stay away. There was a bit of the Coen's classic cinematography, but not enough to make the movie pretty enough to out weigh the commonness of the script. I left remembering the movie, but not being impressed with anything that was said. I had hoped for more.

I don't think there are any good scripts right now. I can't think of any script in the last ten months or so that I have been super impressed with. Some good stories, but no great dialog. Then again, I haven't seen all movies. Even something like Lost in Translation, which I enjoyed, didn't have a particularly interesting script. What it had was a good script for what it was trying to achieve. The lines sounded like things that might actually be said by those people in those situations, without being all that interesting. I am not against this type of writing, it just doesn't get me fired up for the movie like a really clever script would.

I can also confirm the coming of the Cheesecake Factory, and with it our doom.

Posted by Guinness on March 29, 2004
Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

The Rising Tides Near Webber's Eyes

Main

Recently there have been a few boos here and there when Webber was on the floor for the Kings. This may be related to the fact that for periods he has played about as well as I would in the same situation. Roughly equivalent to a pile of crap. It is true that he is recovering from a long layoff due to injure and subsequent surgery, but still. Crap play is crap play.

Personally, I think that the booing should be for the coaching staff leaving him out there, dragging the team down like an anchor. I think he should work more in practice, and play less in games until he is more in rhythm with the rest of the team. The coach has decided to go the other route of letting him get the rhythm while on the court in pivotal games down the stretch. OK. He is the coach an I am not. Whatever on that. My point is that I wouldn't be too surprised if I was playing poorly (especially when the team had been doing quite well in my absence), and the team was getting beaten by teams that they should stomp, if suddenly the fans were less than happy.

The Kings fans are not fair weather fans. We sell tickets in good times and bad. The whole city is like a continual love fest for this team. We do also care very much about the outcomes of the games, however. Thus, when our own players or coaching staff seem to be fucking shit up we may try and let them know about it.

Now comes this article in the Sacramento Bee where there are hints that Webber would take a trade in the summer. You know what? Go. We stand behind you when you didn't want to come here in the first place. We stand behind you when you are a pothead. We stand behind you when you are on trial. We stand behind you when you try and fail, on several occasions, to bring the city a title. We stand behind you when you are convicted of a crime. We stand behind you when you are injured. We stand behind you during the suspension for the crime, and for once again being a pothead (or whatever the violation was for). Now, you get booed on one game and you are ready to bail on us? We are not fair weather fans, you are a fair weather player. Dry your eyes and suck it up, or feel free to take our money and charter a really nice plane out of town.

Posted by Guinness on March 29, 2004
Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)