MAR
31

The Starbucks Papers #email this post

riseSo some upstanding citizen finds a cache of notes that appear to be about the administration's spin plans for Clarke and thoughtfully leaks them to the Center for American Progress. (Fucking narc.) But, really, how do we know they were Bush admin talking points? One section outlines a strategy to "Rise above [Richard A.] Clarke." Clearly, these notes don't belong to the White House at all.

Found at Starbucks: The Pentagon's Papers [Center for American Progress]

WONKETTE WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!! ARE YOU TIRED OF THIS JACKSON ON THE HILL THING YET? #email this post

Wonketteer Operative T.F. gives a fuller picture of today's remarkable events:

    Michael Jackson Update. March 31, 2004 3:25 p.m. Must Credit Wonkette.

    Same flame. More moths.

    The Gloved One returned to Capitol Hill for the second round of his character rehabilitation tour. Your Wonkette Field Producer had an eyewitness encounter as he boarded the 1st floor Rayburn elevator for his 4th floor meeting with Sheila Jackson-Lee.

[more...]

Yesterday's Bush Speech in Wisconsin #email this post

my pretend ballWe've gotten a couple of complaints about yesterday's rush transcript of Bush's speech on the economy. One reader wrote to correct us on the joke "like white on my administration."

while very funny, kind of an obvious not accurate joke against republicans. technically speaking (color and gender) bush's cabinet is the most diverse in history. might [also] be the most scary, but that's another matter all together.

We think this correspondent has an excellent point. The intern who provided us his notes on the speech will be beaten.

Another reader, apparently even more on the ball, espied lines such as "I will state the obvious and wait for applause. Watch this: I will protect America," and did the work the intern didn't: "He didn't say anything like that--not according to the transcript from Federal News Service."

The intern will be forced to listen to Air America.

Strengthening America's Economy and Creating Jobs in Wisconsin [WhiteHouse.gov]
Bush's Speech on the Economy [Wonkette]

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE!! KING OF POP WAVES, CONGRESSIONAL STAFFERS RAVE! #email this post

Our (other) spy on the Hill reports back on the ongoing dramedy that is Mr. Jackson Goes to Washington:

    People have been waiting since 11:00 a.m. The police tried their best all day to group the gawkers away from the press while still allowing normal foot traffic from the elevators to the rest of the floor. All of their efforts were worthless when the "King of Pop" arrived on the Fourth Floor at 3:05 p.m. today. There were tons of video cameras, more press than police, and more on-lookers than any Congressional activity this week. Jacko posed for pictures with the crowd while waving an Israeli flag. He quickly moved into Jackson Lee's office and then the cameras began interviewing people standing in the crowd. Police quickly dispersed the majority of the crowd - - - - now back to work. . . .the pay is not great - but the sights are occasionally odd.

Just occasionally?

Air America Watch: Eh. #email this post

We're bored, it keeps getting timed out. And we're worried someone will accuse us of "live blogging."

Go here for real live blogging.

We are, however, still interested in your thoughts and observations on the fledgling liberal net. Listen for yourself, send them along. AA also available here -- a Portland station that is owned by Clear Channel. What liberal media, indeed.

Bunsen Blogs Franken [Bunsen.tv]

Air America Watch #email this post

Best segment so far: G. Gordon Liddy, talking to Franken on the air from his own show. He promised to kill Franken's enemies for him.

But Franken's real enemies appear to be his liberal guests, who are deadly dull. Watch your back, Sirota!

Gossip Roundup: Kicking Under the Table Edition #email this post

The Reliable Source: CNN exec Eason Jordan is reportedly romantically involved with WSJ reporter Danny Pearl's widow, Mariane. They have been supportive of each other publicly. No comment from his wife. CNN flak: "I'm neither confirming it nor denying it." [WP]
Under the Dome: Kerry, if elected, pledges to be the first president since JFK to visit Puerto Rico. Supporters look forward to the sight of Air Force One on the island. . . Retiring Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-Colo.) received a plaque for his efforts in getting the Capitol Police new Harley-Davidsons. . . Newt Gingrich has written more than 135 book reviews on Amazon.com, making him one of the top 500 reviewers; his "About Me" section is written in the third-person. . . Possible VP Richardson may sign a medical marijuana bill. . . 84 percent of 1,300 respondents in an online poll want Bob Edwards back as host of "Morning Edition." [The Hill]

[more...]

Err America Overloaded #email this post

hot errIf you can get in, Air America is streaming from AirAmericaRadio.com. We're getting a "server overloaded" message. Good sign? Well, a lot of people watched the first Dennis Miller show, too.

What we've heard so far: Franken and Katherine Lanpher* totally cracking each other up. Tough crowd. Also, this joke:

Franken, on America's post-9/11 wave of patriotism: "An old friend of mine even dug out his 'America' T-shirt. . . sure, it took him four hours to white out the 'sucks'. . . "

We laughed until we stopped.

*This said Garofalo until someone who can actually hear more than 30 seconds at time wrote in to correct me. So many mistakes today and I'm not even drunk. . . much. Garofalo's show starts at 8PM. Also, the Portland feed is said to be less crowded.

Got My Gat and Your Lacy Underthings #email this post

We love the culture war! Someone is apparently very mad that the Dems' party at Dream was to feature Outkast. You know, "gun-toting representative[s] of the gangsta culture" who rap about Polaroid pictures.

Well, he's actually under the impression that Outkast played at the party -- they cancelled at the last minute -- but who cares, there's a racial stereotype to extrapolate from! We personally were unaware that Outkast could really be considered "gangsta" (imagine how upset 50 Cent will be), but according to Farah, all you need are "profanity-laced songs with titles such as 'Where are My Panties?', 'She Lives in My Lap' and 'Vibrate.'"

Everyone knows how closely panty raids are associated with gangsta culture.

Dems embrace gangsta culture [WorldNetDaily.com]

Air America on the Air #email this post

UPDATE: A Wonketteer writes: "Point your browser at here at noon and you'll be able to listen to the crapfest yourself. Don't do it before noon, or you'll be subjected to more 1950's music than you can handle."

Air America Call Letter #email this post

i don't think you're indie enoughWhen you think about it, it totally makes sense: Air America, the liberal radio network, will not be broadcasting in the D.C. metro area. D.C. went 70 percent for Gore! They don't need convincing.

But Wonkette does. We suspect Air America will blow. Then again, it could suck. Or perhaps it will achieve some mysteriously simultaneous combination of the two. And while we are normally unopposed to mocking things that we have no direct knowledge of, this material seems rich. Those of you who reside in one of the five areas covered by the Air America media empire, please send along your thoughts and observations.

Broadcasting starts at noon.

Liberal Voices Get New Home on Radio Dial [NYT]

Nader Baiter: A Conversation with the Kettle #email this post

Pot, kettle; kettle, pot:

    "John Kerry has got to get loose," Nader said Tuesday.

Now, kettle, could you spare some of that crap that you're full of?

    [Nader] also repeated his claim that he would appeal to many disgruntled conservatives.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I've had my fill of incredible claims. Please, sir, may I have some more?

    As for liberals who call him vindictive or egomaniacal, Nader said, "That means they're out of arguments."
Sounds about right: "Out of arguments" and down to just descriptions.

Nader Advises Kerry to Loosen Up [AP/Yahoo]


Gore Network #email this post

Drudge is on it like a cheap suit: NYO reports that Al Gore plans to transform Newsworld International from

a sleepy foreign-news outlet into a youth-oriented public-affairs channel, a jump-cut news network for the iPod set. Despite vociferous claims that the network isn’t attempting to be the liberal antidote to Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, it’s difficult to ignore the obvious: It may be fair, it may be balanced, but it’s going to be owned by Al Gore.

That means it'll be like Fox but boring, right? Someone should tell him that "the iPod set" doesn't need a channel that broadcasts a real time image of the earth. If it were up to us, we'd stick with the current programming, which NYO stereotypes as "a two-minute dialogue-free video essay on squirrels, followed by the news about a freak rotating-door accident in a Tokyo shopping mall." Are you telling me Fox wouldn't run that as-is? Especially if the squirrels are, like, debating Bill Kristol.

We're still trying to figure out how it is that America needs an "antidote" to Fox. It makes conservative views sound like syphilis, and listening to liberal media the equivalent of taking your medicine. OK, that part is pretty accurate.

Al Gets Gore-TV [NYO]

Election Recycling: One-Way Conversation Edition #email this post

set on kill Bush lets Rice testify publicly about 9/11; Bush and Cheney will meet with entire commission, though not under oath. "The president's aides finally realized that the most important element of this president retaining power was for him to remain president," said an advisor. [WP and NYT]
In California, Kerry gets big donations from big names. Kerry "Today, we are raising a record amount of money in San Diego and in California, but more importantly, we are coming together from all walks of life to set this great country of ours back on track and to reclaim our democracy again." [LAT and USAT]
Bush ads increased the public's perception that Kerry is liberal and inconsistant; Administration believes Rice can fix the current controversy. "For six months, it was a one-way conversation, and then you had the final five or six weeks when Kerry was winning primaries that improved his image. Right after March 3, a dialogue started about who is or who isn't John Kerry, and the president started advocating for himself. I think we're better positioned from that and Senator Kerry is worse positioned," said Matthew Dowd. [WP]
Critics says Bush's release of classified documents is usually for political reasons. "The message this sends is that for partisan political reasons, classified material can be reviewed and selectively released," said a Democratic member of the House Intelligence Committee. [WP]

[more...]

Wonkette Office Hours #email this post

We had been pretending the IM account for Wonkette [tipwonk] was "broken." Truth is, we were "lazy." Wonkette will now keep IM office hours 8AM-10AM, 4PM-6PM . . . more or less. Office hours are subject to cancellation without notice or reason. Do not count on an intelligent response. Or any response at all, for that matter. But the account will be active and your message will be received. Please be considerate: This not my dirtytalk screen name, it's my screen name for dirt. Ladies and gentlemen, start your dishing!

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