Conservatism reborn in twisted sisterhood

 
BABY, LET'S TWIST AGAIN, LIKE WE DID LAST SUMMER: My post ("Playground Twist") on how societal response to homosexuality shapes our identities got a lot of really illuminating, personal, intense responses. I'd really like to thank everyone who wrote to me, and apologize for not replying sooner. I didn't write back to people in anything remotely resembling a timely fashion. But I really, really appreciated every email I got.

Here's a selection from the emails I received.

Anonyreader #1: Interesting post. Point number 2 is pretty spot on. Point number 1 differed from my experience a bit (though I believe I came out at a considerably older age than you--I was 33). Hardening of identity--probably--but it might be likened more to "siege mentality"--a very real sense that I and people like me were under attack (whether sexually active or not) and that the gay community was a vehicle to do something about it.

In the past week I have discovered yet another grand unifying theory of the sort I discover about once a month. The stereotypical gay activist appears to lump gay identity, homosexual orientation and homosex into one sort of all-or-nothing package. To have an objection to any of it is to be hateful to the entire
person. Then there are the (I'll call them) anti-gay Catholic conservative people who try to explain the distinction the Church draws between homosex (deemed
immoral) and homosexual persons (fundamentally good--but possessing an objective disorder). This just explains the relationship to the homosexual person.

Both of these positions ignore one thing--the culture. I think it is fair to say that in addition to wanting homosexual individuals to live chaste lives, the Church also wants the culture to teach chastity and the ways in which the culture teaches chastity are far from precise and often quite cruel. The playground
incidents you describe are just a small subset of how I'm convinced the culture used to convey disapproval of homosex--by heaping stigma on the gay person. In other words, you avoided looking for gay sex because, well, someone might get the impression that you ARE a homosexual.

While I have read, and believe I know pretty well, what the Church teaches about the dignity of the homosexual person, I do see them supporting cultural conventions that try (granted without too much success lately) to keep homosexual persons from being able to identify each other (potential partners) by encouraging them to remain silent about their orientation (which is accomplished by stigmatizing the orientation). This is what makes "love the sinner hate the sin" and "all God wants you to do in this area is avoid sodomy," which does describe the Church attitude toward the homosexual individual, ring pretty false.

A possibly-anonyreader writes: There is some truth to your first observation. You second observation is, at best, a half truth. The most telling omission is that you neglected a sense of group identity formed by common oppression. A grown up gay man who hears some kid being called "faggot" is justifiably outraged because he knows precisely how that feels.

The problem with "Courage" is that it sweeps the last point under the rug, and that's not acceptable or forgivable. It's the reason so many gay-identified people hate Courage.

Elizabeth says some stuff that rings really true to me, and that does not exactly speak well for the Church's response to contemporary culture: I've formed this from what I've heard some Christians say about homosexuality and people with SSA. They often talk as though homosexuality is the "unforgivable sin." Non-Catholic types seem to do this more as they don't seem to distinguish between the disorder and the person; just to be homosexual is sinful even if one is chaste.

So my theory goes like this: Homosexuality affects a minority of the population so most Christians do not live with this temptation to sin. And while they may be tempted to pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, porn etc. they are not tempted by a person of the same sex. Plus, they can reason it's normal to be attracted to a person of the opposite sex, so it's normal to have sex with them. And, homosexuality is never normal, even if one is not sexually active. Main point: It's one sin they are almost guaranteed not to commit.

Now if some do happen to be living with some degree of SSA but believe that if anyone found out that they will be ostracized and condemned they may not act on it. They may be even more strident than others to deflect suspision. Once again, it's a sin they are almost guaranteed not to commit. The cost would be to great.

I know I made some generalizations here; I hope they are not too sweeping.

Anonyreader the third: So I read the above-named post. It's on-target. The particular stigma attached to homosexual attractions doesn't just harden one's identity. It creates an unhealthy disconnect between one's inner and outer self. By this I mean not just being in the closet, but having as a result such a stark divide between inner actions and outer actions that one might view the former as existing in a sealed container. If one can help it, they do not affect one's outer actions, so one is tempted to believe that they don't matter.

And if the shame doesn't harden one's self-identity enough, the mantra to the effect that a gay leopard can't change his spots will--even less motivation to guide one's internal currents. I'd call it textbook vice, but this particular example doesn't appear in the textbooks. (For the gate is wide and the way is easy, that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many, etc.)

And your comment about loving care being woven into the fabric of a sinful relationship (or vice versa)? So very Brideshead--Charles and Sebastian, Charles and Julia, Julia and Rex, Lord Marchmain and Cara. There's a reason (among many) why it's my favorite novel.

Joe Perez responds. I think this is condescending (I mean, Joe couldn't know this, but I did co-found my high school's gay-straight alliance, this is stuff I've had to wrestle with practically since I could read, I really am neither new to this stuff nor unwilling to put myself on the line) but it is nonetheless worth reading. I find it thoroughly bizarre that he writes, "I can honestly say that, by and large, the possibility has never seriously occurred to me that my sexual instincts, attractions, and desires could possibly be as disordered, evil, sinful, or disgusting as so much of the world around me preached." I mean, I can't think of anything I believe that I have never doubted, except for stuff that nobody in this society tries to make you doubt, like "genocide is wrong." I can think of things I've never actually changed my mind about (the political examples are capital punishment and the drug war), but really, the fact that I desire something tends to make it more suspect for me, not less. Yet I do realize that neither attitude ("I will do what comes naturally" or "I will do what I hate in order to assert my willpower over my inclinations") is an especially good guide to truth.

Anonyreader #4: Some unconnected points on the question you posed about why homosexual temptation get treated as unique (it's long, and the most important part is at the end if you want to skip):

(1) I think sex (as opposed to gender) has often, maybe always, been a centrally important way for , especially for women, but for men too. With saints, you have martyrs and virgin martyrs, who get their own category. When two close friends of mine in college met as freshmen roommates at Harvard, on the first night after the lights went out, one asked the other what she most felt she needed to know about this stranger she'd be sharing space with: "Are you a virgin?" Virginity is its own complicated issue, but I think it points to people's tendency to self-define and
define others through sex. And on the other side of the Madonna-whore dichotomy, 'slut' is probably the schoolyard label most stigmatized after 'gay,' and sometimes has equally little to do with whether someone's actually had any sex--the class 'slut' can be someone who's pretty or develops early or talks to boys. I do realize this label is different from 'gay' in that it doesn't deal with someone's besetting temptation, though.

(2) I think that in parts of Evangelical America, same-sex attraction has become the scapegoat that people look at when they don't want to think about there own sex lives. This goes both for things people might not think of as sexual sins at all and those they do think are sinful but don't see as self-defining. Yes, it's simplistic to accuse people of saying, "Sure, I have sex outside marriage/have been divorced and remarried three times/use abortifacient contraception/watch a lot of porn, but I'm not like those homosexuals," but I think there's a grain of truth to it.

(4) Which came first, viewing same-sex attraction as a unique and defining temptation or insistence by gays that being gay was a central aspect of identity, like being black or female? Maybe there's a historical answer to this, or maybe it's a chicken/egg problem--I don't know.

(4) Getting more personal: when I was thirteen I considered the fact that I was
odd, thought girls were pretty, and found boys my age annoying, and became
afraid that I was gay. For about six months I was secretly full of angst and fear like I've never known about anything else, and I think the why of it is interesting. My parents are not Christian, are in fact very much opposed to organized religion
in general, and I'd never thought of the belief that homosexuality was a sin as anything other than superstition. I knew gays were stigmatized, but considered that stigma a bad and stupid thing, like racism. Still, I wasn't thrilled about acquiring a stigma I'd never grow out of (unlike 'nerd'), but that wasn't the thing that scared me most. What scared me most was the thought that I could never get married and have kids. Which was weird, because (a) I had never before been aware of wanting to such a thing, and (b) this was 1995, and I read a lot of TIME magazine, so I must have known that there were gay people who had partners or even kids, but that never struck me as a future life that was even within the realm of possibility for me. In a culture with almost no positive ways of thinking about celibacy that (especially in '95) hadn't really absorbed the idea of
gay marriage, what gay really meant to thirteen-year-old me was isolated, lonely, without family. Which may have been why I started thinking I was gay in the first place, because I was already isolated in the way only over-intellectualized middle-schoolers can be. And I think that idea--that gay means isolated, cut off the deep ties of marriage and family--may help explain both why same-sex attraction gets treated so differently from other temptations and why supporters of SSM see it as a basic human right.
posted by Eve at 5:44 AM

 
With her smile painted on his mouth
He walked out of the town called Blog Watching...

Catholic Ragemonkey: Blogrolling these priests. Lovely post on the Annunciation: "For today's homily at Mass, I reflected upon the seeming incongruity between the season of Lent and the Solemnity of the Annunciation. Lent stirs up thoughts of penance and sacrifice and struggle. The Annunciation is a moment of exquisite joy because the long-awaited redemption of Israel is announced, is under way. It looks badly matched if one looks no deeper than the surface of the events. But if we pentrate into the inscape (a word coined by Caryl Houselander, a contemporary English theologian), we see the true threads of what is beginning here." more!

They've also started an online Catholic book club. Current reading: Meditations Before Mass by Msgr. Romano Guardini.

Cinecon: Another Maya Deren fan! I was not so much fond of her moviemaking--just her book on voodoo--but Cinecon makes me want to see "Meshes of the Afternoon" again. "MESHES is clearly a dream about something or other that can be unpacked and debated at the espresso bar later, but *while the film is unspooling* it has near-perfect dream logic (which isn't at all the same thing as wtf incoherence). The images are recognizable and cogent but don't quite look right or are followed by a scene that cannot follow it logically. Obvious motifs (like the knife) are dropped in and call so much attention to themselves that they become structuring principles and unite the narrative discontinuities and impossibilities. The movements of Maya throughout the film (the garden, the stairs) are repeated, slowed down and/or speeded up for emphasis (the way Maggie Cheung moves and the way Wong Kar-wai uses her in IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE's Yumeji sequences is heavily indebted to Deren in MESHES). ...It's like a Salvador Dali painting come to life." (I wrote about Deren's book Divine Horsemen: The Living Gods of Haiti here.)

Also, he watches "Eyes without a Face" and makes the obvious contemporary parallels. I think he's trying too hard for a genre separation between science fiction and horror, though.

Midwestern Conservative Journal: Gay Anglican Bishop headline contest. Via Cacciaguida. As you might expect, some of these are... uncalled-for. But many are hilarious. Some of my favorites: Gay Anglican Bishop Enjoys Being Gay Anglican Bishop; "I'm Gay, Anglican, and a Bishop," Says Gay Anglican Bishop

President sends Gay Anglican Bishop as peace ambassador to Al Qaida

"Gay Anglican Bishop Ordains First Openly Muslim Anglican Priest"

"Gay Anglican Bishop Reveals Results of His 'Quizilla' poll"

Spring Break Shocker! Gay Anglican Bishop parties in Cancun with Dalai Lama

Gay Anglican Bishop Takes Queen's Rook

And last: Gay Anglican bishop gets bent out of shape over new pew.

(sorry.)
posted by Eve at 2:13 AM

 
"Agil qual leopardo
ti avvinghiasti all'amante;
in quell'instante
t'ho giurata mia!"
--Tosca
posted by Eve at 12:46 AM

 
FORTY-THREE MOVIES: Inspired by Motime Like the Present, I'd initially planned to post a list of my 50 favorite movies, with brief annotations. But I got weird about it (you're shocked, I know) so there are only forty-three. Here are the rules:

a) "Five-Star Final" is the lowest-ranked movie on the list. That's why there are only forty-three. I decided I wanted a hard lower boundary, and picked 5SF.

b) I went by gut reaction. So for many good movies that didn't make the cut, I'd just ask myself, "Do you want to see this listed above 'Five-Star Final'?", and if I didn't, that was a good enough reason to keep it off.

c) "Stickiness" is probably the biggest factor in getting a movie onto this list. If the picture did something so memorable that it's stuck in my memory, becoming a touchstone, that weighed heavily with me as I drew up the list. (For example, although I really enjoyed "The Ruling Class" as I was watching it, its cold satire faded faster than I'd anticipated, so it's not here.) Stickiness definitely wasn't the only important factor, though. Plain old quality counts (thus, although I could probably recite half of "Labyrinth" to you, this sticky movie is not among my top 43). Uniqueness and unexpectedness count--something above mere competence. "Chicken Run" is a very funny comedy, with several cute allusions and sharp lines ("In America, when we want to motivate people, we don't talk about death!"), but... well... that's what it's supposed to be. I like it, I recommend that you rent it, etc. etc., but it didn't bully its way onto my favorites list. Similarly (and this must be the only way this movie is similar to "Chicken Run"!), "Raise the Red Lantern" is tragic and there are several moving scenes that I definitely won't forget. But I didn't need to see the movie for that to be true, really. If you told me what happened I would know the point of the movie. It does what it is supposed to do but nothing more. ...In general, be advised that my criteria for movie selection and ranking tended to shift around a bit, so don't expect maximal consistency.

and finally, d) Although this is a "favorites" list, not a "best" list, I do trust there's a significant amount of overlap, and if something's bizarrely high on this list you can expect that I will defend its quality rather than just conceding that I, personally, happen to like it. But let's not take quality too seriously. There's no way on earth that "Five-Star Final" is the forty-third-best movie I've ever seen. I don't care. It stuck with me and so I will make it a star.

Okay, enough rules. On to the movies.

43 Five-Star Final: Edward G. Robinson as a self-loathing gutter journalist. The hilariously oily Boris Karloff (!!!!) as a lecherous ex-divinity student. Lovely bit roles--even actors with only three lines got fun, fleshed-out characters to play. Now, I should probably mention that most of this movie is doughy melodrama. It's awful, really. But the brilliant parts are just stellar. I can't stop thinking about this sloppy, shambolic, significantly-less-than-half-assed movie.

42 The Ice Storm: You know, I don't even know if this should be on the list at all. I've seen it, I think, twice, and was really struck by its portrayal of basically good people--weak, sure, but not ill-intentioned--trying to live in a culture without a moral compass. The acting is good and there are many well-done scenes (Nixon mask, frozen diving board). But enough of this film has faded that I should really see it again before I put it on this list. Oh well, whatever.

41 Coffy: Um, this is solely because I wanted some representative of the many fine blaxploitation pictures I've seen, and Coffy edged out Blacula. Barely.

40 The Court Jester: Oh, this is such a sweet, fun movie. Charming derring-do and much singing. "The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the flagon with the dragon holds the brew that is true!"

39 Arsenic and Old Lace: Peter Lorre is very, very creepy. Cary Grant is hilarious even when all you can really see are his eyebrows.

38 My Own Private Idaho: Another one that might not even belong on this list. But I put it here because I don't remember that it sucked, and I want to honor it for the whole run-Henry-IV-through-a-shredder idea. I seem to recall the movie was at its best when it was most directly Shakespearean. But it's been a long time since I saw this, and I have this horrible fear that if I see it now I'll hate it.

37 Double Indemnity: You don't really need me to explain this to you, do you?

36 Ninotchka: Ditto. Sweet but creepy movie; almost--but not quite--manages to smother the Cold War in cake and champagne froth.

35 Rear Window: This should be higher. It's just that everyone knows that this is what Hitchcock does--voyeurism, Jimmy Stewart, suspicion and shadows of a doubt--so I'm biased against ranking it where it rightfully belongs. What a great premise, though.

34 The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance: The more I think about this movie the more I like it. While I was watching it, it felt unnecessarily long, but there's so much fascinating stuff going on there. What is the worth of the quest for truth? How does an old order pass away, and a new one begin? ...Plus, I love any movie in which a drunken newspaperman kisses his press.

33 The Secret Lives of Dentists: It really is a gripping, startlingly accurate portrayal of family life. It just digs right in and doesn't let go. Intense, excellent movie. Go see.

32 The Birds: Because it freaks me out that Hitchcock managed to use all the techniques people use when they're making a movie about some theme or idea or question or truth or doubt, to make a movie about, as far as I can tell, how much it would suck if one day birds decided to attack us. Pure form. Either too much meaning or (this is my take) none at all.

31 Grosse Pointe Blank: I did my defense of this movie here. Saw it again recently and was reminded of how tight it is and how little of its dialogue is wasted.

30 The Manchurian Candidate: Another movie with excellent lines for very minor characters. To some extent you have to translate its paranoias for the movie to have anything even approaching the impact it doubtless had when it was released; but it's not like human nature has changed so very, very much in the intervening years. Hallucinatory imagery, Laurence Harvey, Angela Lansbury... and an ending twist that always gets my heart in my mouth. Even though I know what happens.

29 Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb: Another one that needs translating. Feels light rather than scathing, these days. But still so funny. "I do not avoid women, Mandrake. I merely deny them my essence."

28 Sunset Boulevard: Another one that needs no commentary from me. Just go rent it and wallow in the decadence.

27 The Producers: Yet another one that has doubtless seen the years wear down its edge. But I don't care. Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder have incredible chemistry (that scene in the theater bar--"By the light, by the light, of the silvery moon..."--is one of the most sweetly ridiculous things I've ever seen) and you will walk out humming "Springtime for Hitler." I want to see this movie right now. It's like how talking about food makes you hungry.

26 Election: I get a kind of "Ice Storm as farce rather than tragedy" vibe from this flick (heh).

25 Freaks: Gooba gabba.

24 Carnival of Souls: Can't improve on my description here.

23 Frankenstein

22 Gilda: I wish I knew what to say to make you see this movie, if you haven't already. Obviously, it has Rita Hayworth in it, and that is good. But Glenn Ford is fantastic, and the dialogue... rrrrr.... yes. "I was born the day you met me." Glittery, but watch out for the sharp pointy edges.

21 It's a Wonderful Life: I think people sometimes misread this movie, expecting "wonderful" to in some way imply "easy" or "free of losing." IAWL has this marshmallowy reputation, and then when you see it and see how dark it is it's easy to swing in the other direction and think it undercuts its own ostensible message. I'll just say I don't think it does. I don't think the title is ironic. I only watched this because it has Jimmy Stewart in it--expected to endure a warm cloying hug--and fell in love.

20 Gods and Monsters: Beautiful, dark meditation on mentorship, alienation, and homo- and heterosexuality. Based on the life of James Whale, director of "Frankenstein" and "Bride of Same."

19 Cape Fear: Robert Mitchum at his second-scariest (see below). Genuinely frightening movie (I am hard to scare at the movies) with intriguing theme of the limits of the law. I hear the remake is awful.

18 Memento: Imagine if Richard Rorty stopped being such a sunshine boy and decided to make an experimental neo-noir instead of misreading Philip Larkin. (Um, yes, small chip on shoulder, why do you ask?) Anyway, intellectually intense movie, gripping, etc. Too bad the acting is bland and the dialogue is completely unmemorable. But the idea behind the movie is strong enough to knock it up to #18 despite these major flaws.

17 Metropolis

16 Farewell My Concubine: You'll notice that I rarely watch movies made outside the good ol' U.S. of A. Yeah, I know. There's a whole world out there full of German art flicks and plucky Indian youngsters. (Kidding.) At any rate, FMC is the story of three singers in the Beijing Opera whose lives are torn apart by the Cultural Revolution. It's brutal. Don't watch if you can't take. Much heartbreak and betrayal. A lush, bloody, exhausting movie that, even though it sounds cliched, really is operatic. The late Leslie Cheung is incredible.

15 The Godfather Part II

14 Bride of Frankenstein: Yes, it is that much better than Frankenstein. There's just something turned-up-to-11 about Bride, something one-step-beyond.

13 Strangers on a Train: My favorite of the "no one is innocent" Hitchcock flicks. I have a thing about Farley Granger, I think maybe, although he's not as stellar in this as he is in Rope. Lovely, poisonous chemistry between the leads; many, many memorable scenes and moments of suspense. Best of basic Hitchcock.

12 Rope: Hitchcock thought the technical trick he used here was a failure--a gimmick, rather than a tool for illuminating the movie's themes or heightening its suspense. He shot it to look as though it was all one continuous take; no cuts, no outside world, just you stuck in this apartment with these two killers. The master was wrong: The trick works. The movie is intensely claustrophobic--perfect for a folie a deux story. John Dall and Farley Granger practically give off sparks. Jimmy Stewart has a thankless role; he has to spout most of the movie's pop philosophy. It's sort of Nietzsche for Murderous Dummies. Ignore those bits.

11 Bringing Up Baby: Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant, and two count 'em two leopards. Sweet fun that made me laugh until my ribs hurt. Perfect, perfect screwball.

10 Gone With the Wind: Scarlett's much more complex in the book, but it doesn't really matter once everything catches fire, does it?

9 The Night of the Hunter: Robert Mitchum at his scariest. Killer preacher stalks helpless children. Really frightening movie shot through with intense beauty.

8 Sweet Smell of Success: I'm obsessed with this movie. (The story it's based on, by Ernest Lehman, is also excellent, and lacks the overwriting of the movie dialogue.) Tony Curtis as scum-sucking publicist trying to pawn his soul, to be redeemed later. Black humor, rancid atmosphere, gorgeous city-noir photography.

7 The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari: The Looney Toons of horror. Or else Looney Toons is the Cabinet of funny animal mayhem. Either way, this is an incredible movie--the sets alone, with their painted-on shadows and crazed angles, are thrilling. And yes, it is still scary.

6 The Godfather

5 Sabrina: Audrey Hepburn at her most completely charming. Humphrey Bogart as a Yale man (he sings "Boola Boola"!) in--ugh!--love. A movie about very unhappy people, but it will make you happy.

4 The Philadelphia Story: Katharine Hepburn, Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart; comedy about vulnerability, wealth, patience, and honor. Sweet and very funny.

3 The Last Unicorn: Okay, I'm not fully rational about this movie. I may have watched it a hundred times. But whether or not it really needs to be #3 on anybody's list of anything, I will say these things for sure: The graceful, fluid animation is beautiful to behold. The dialogue is astonishingly rich--would be excellent in any movie, but is simply unparalleled in a children's fantasy. (It's almost word-for-word from Peter S. Beagle's equally wonderful novel.) The themes of love, duty, and regret are startlingly adult. The bittersweet ending is perfect. Tart-tongued Molly Grue and not-entirely-hapless Schmendrick, Last of the Red-Hot Swamis, are among my favorite fictional folk ever. This movie manages to be, as needed, homey, awe-inspiring, silly, knowing, and wise. Go! Go see this!

2 The Lion in Winter: Henry II (Peter O'Toole), Eleanor of Aquitaine (Katharine Hepburn), Richard the Lionheart (Anthony Hopkins), and Geoffrey (John Castle) try to rip each other's hearts out during a Christmas court in 1183. Oh right, John Lackland's there too (brilliantly, pustulently played by Nigel Terry). Add a French king and an unhappy slip of a mistress into the mix. Oh, and (in ascending order) the photography, music, and dialogue are truly excellent. There is just no way this movie could be better.

1 Vertigo: I can't improve on The Rat's description here.
posted by Eve at 5:13 AM

 
I'M BEING LEANED ON! By my own influences.

I was thinking over some of the imagery in "Getting Fired"--especially some of the imagery I came to more through intuition than through planning. Before I started drafting the piece, I sat down and wrote out about two pages of free association, just listing images that fit with two of the themes of the story. For example, the "This. Is. His. Face" girls were in one of those lists. The fly in the first scene, too, and the homeless guy. In general, I do plan out the imagery in my stories fairly rigorously. (It's the plotting where I go all baggy.) But as "Getting Fired" progresses, it does what stories do: Its plot is going in places I didn't anticipate when I planned out my imagery, and so I'm starting to operate much more on instinct, relying very little on the initial lists.

Usually, this is good. I like my image instincts. But "Getting Fired" is proving troublesome, and I think I know why.

The story is heavily influenced by '30s genre movies--horror and hardboiled-newspaper-type flicks. And these movies, since they were written and directed by men, are soaked in male anxieties and guilts. Women typically appear as symbols, ciphers, or catalysts. When I write that male anxiety and female opacity, I think it comes across as... well... male-bashing. Really, the gendered imagery in "GF" is out of control, and I can't believe I didn't notice it until about this past Wednesday or so. Since a) that is not what I'm trying to say with this story and b) if there's anyone in this piece I empathize with, it's the (male) narrator, followed closely by Mr. Peeler (thus I don't think there's any subconscious man-hating going on, although I suppose by definition I wouldn't know), I'm pretty sure this is a sign that I've insinuated more of the movies' atmosphere into the story than I even realized!

That's awesome in a lot of ways, but it does mean that I now have to yank on the reins a bit, and reshape the ending of the story to ensure that I have at least some semblance of control over what I'm saying here. Pretty sure I know how: You're going to get more of Amy than I'd initially planned, and possibly more of Miss Mikveh and the three receptionists, too. The women in this story do have anxieties and guilts; showing a few flashes of their inner lives should get the story's center of gravity back where I want it, away from the strong attractions of the '30s.
posted by Eve at 3:00 AM

 
I'M MEETING PEOPLE, NICE PEOPLE TOO... Have been radically antisocial (even for me), turtling in my apartment glowering out at the world. But I did manage to meet Neilalien last week (another reader of both comics and Nietzsche... hmm...), and yesterday I met Sara "Diotima" Butler. Awesome, long conversation in the Dupont Circle sunshine. I may have to rethink the lurk-based approach to human interaction.
posted by Eve at 12:21 AM

 
"...Bramo. La cosa bramata
perseguo, me ne sazio e via la getto,
volto a nuova esca."
--Tosca
posted by Eve at 12:15 AM

 
THE INCREDULITY OF ST. THOMAS: Otto-da-Fe is right about the greatness of this painting. I'm a huge Caravaggio fan in general, but this one may possibly be my favorite. I'll sign on wholeheartedly to Otto's comments: "Incidentally, Caravaggio's 'Incredulity of St. Thomas' is one of my favorite paintings; it emphasizes Christ's physicality at least as effectively as a bloody Crucifixion. And Doubting Thomas's expression is wonderful--not unlike that of the typical viewer seeing this painting for the first time."
posted by Eve at 9:09 AM

 
"Charles liked poetry because the lines were so short. You could think your own thoughts in the spaces around the print."
--Diana Wynne Jones, Witch Week
posted by Eve at 9:04 AM

 
DOLLY, DOLLY, DOLLY! Is anything better than "The Essential Dolly Parton"? I didn't think anything could redeem "I Will Always Love You" from Whitney Houston's window-shatteringness. But I'm listening to it now and it's really sweet and not overdone hardly at all. Anyway, yes: I love this album.
posted by Eve at 8:36 PM

 
"GETTING FIRED": RESTROOMS ARE FOR CUSTOMER USE ONLY. The latest installment of my short story. In which we meet the boss. You can read the whole thing from the beginning here, or just get the latest events here.

Next installment: Amy.
posted by Eve at 1:43 PM

 
ST. BLOG'S PARISH HALL: Discussion forum.
posted by Eve at 12:18 PM

 
I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES: I don't know why this happened. It just did. (There are already at least two verses reserved for the oral tradition.) Tune is, of course, Right Said Fred.

I'm too meta for my books,
Too meta for my books,
More meta than I look.
I'm too meta for my theory,
Too meta for my theory,
So meta it's eerie.
I'm too meta for this song,
Too meta for this song,
So meta, it's just wrong.
I'm too meta for my age,
Too meta for my age,
More meta than John Cage.
[four minutes & 33 seconds of silence]
I'm too meta for this conference,
Too meta for this conference,
No way I'm "finger-quoting."
I'm too meta for my narrative,
Too meta for my narrative,
So meta it's imperative.
I'm a theoretical model, you know what I mean?, and I signify my sign on the framework.
Yeah on the framework, on the framework, yeah I shake my Weltanschauung on the framework.
I'm too meta for this context--
posted by Eve at 10:48 AM

 
Darling, it seems that you belong in Gone with the Wind; the proper place for a romantic. You belong in a tumultous world of changes and opportunities, where your independence paves the road for your survival. It is trying being both a cynic and a dreamer, no?

Which classic novel do you belong in? (The questions are above average.)

Also Tepper's fault.
posted by Eve at 10:46 AM

 
YOU'RE INCREDIBLY JEWISH! Either you're a full-fledged Jew or you're one lucky Christian.

How Jewish are you?

Via Tepper.
posted by Eve at 10:44 AM

 
My life is like unto a blogwatch store...

Old Oligarch: On "The Passion." "It has become a welcome desert in my heart." Some interesting observations on the audience, as well.

Sursum Corda: Very nice post on family and discipleship, on Saint Joseph's feast day.

I'm adding Get Religion to the blogroll. It's about mainstream media coverage of religion, especially Christianity.

Nina Shea (of the excellent religious-freedom advocacy group Freedom House) on the interim Iraqi constitution.
posted by Eve at 10:42 AM

 
WASH. MAN PLEADS IN CAMBODIA SEX CASE: The first person prosecuted under a law protecting children overseas from sex crimes by U.S. citizens has pleaded guilty to having sexual contact with boys in Cambodia, the U.S. attorney's office said.

Michael Lewis Clark was arrested last June in Cambodia and was indicted last September in Seattle. He pleaded guilty Wednesday to two federal charges of engaging in and attempting to engage in illicit sexual conduct in foreign places.

Clark was charged under the Protect Act of 2003, signed into law last spring and best known for encouraging states to set up Amber Alert systems to help track down missing children. The provision of the law under which Clark was charged makes it a crime for any U.S. citizen to travel abroad for the purpose of sex tourism involving children.

Court documents said Clark flew to Cambodia from Seattle and engaged in sexual contact with two boys, about 10 and 13 years old.

The Cambodian National Police arrested Clark in Phnom Penh, accusing him of "debauchery involving illicit sexual conduct" with the boys, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement said. The Cambodian authorities later dropped the charge, which allowed Clark to be indicted in the United States.

Prosecutors said in papers filed in federal court that Clark has spent a considerable amount of time in Cambodia over the last five years and may have molested as many as 50 boys aged 10 to 18. He most recently flew from Washington state to southeast Asia last May.

The complaint said Clark acknowledged he has been a pedophile since 1996 and that he usually paid the Cambodian boys $2 each for sex.

Clark faces a potential maximum sentence of 30 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

link

Via How Appealing.
posted by Eve at 10:29 AM

 
"I love my enemies because you are one of them."
--Ibn Zaidun
posted by Eve at 10:27 AM

 
IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING, I've been sickish and slothy. Failing to work up enthusiasm for interaction with others; instead, turtling and sleeping a lot. Hoping it's over now, as fever and sore throat seem to be retreating.
posted by Eve at 12:38 PM

 
OLIGARCH-WATCH: Tons of good stuff here.

Ad for "Touching Evil" has the tagline, "What didn't kill him made him stranger." Hilarious. Possibly my new motto.

Fun with Metrodrunks: The one: "Jesus Christ! Would you..."

The other, interrupting: "Don't say 'Jesus Christ.' Say Mel Gibson."

The one: "Mel Gibson! would you look at that..."

And... "So I think to myself: What if I crush and muddle this caffeine pill with Pernod?"
posted by Eve at 12:36 PM

 
BEAUTIFUL: "One thing I do try to do is end with the Our Father. Sometimes they say it with me, sometimes they don't. I try to pull them both up on my lap and hold them close while I say it. I'm hoping that in years to come, when they say the prayer on their own, they'll remember the feeling of being held close by their father, which is, of course, what I hope we all might feel when saying our prayers." more
posted by Eve at 12:16 PM

 
"My days of old have vanished--tone and tints."
--Douglas MacArthur, at West Point, 1962
posted by Eve at 12:14 PM

 
DEEPLY SHALLOW: Just a note: The "Deep Thoughts" below are, indeed, from "Saturday Night Live." While The Rat is one of the funniest people I know (funny strange, funny ha-ha, it's all good) she did not personally craft these thoughts.

I really like this description of the blog: "Also, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, there's a certain plane crash quality to Eve's blog that keeps me coming back...."

Oh, and I flensed some of the more egregious overwriting from the most recent installment of "Getting Fired." This section does have to be pretty hothouse, but let's just say I didn't need to use phrases like (shudder) "obsidian gaze." That's just sick and wrong. It's better now.
posted by Eve at 1:36 PM

 
"But with the inevitable forward march of progress
come new ways of hiding things,
and new things to hide."
--Chris Ware, Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth
posted by Eve at 1:33 PM

 
YOU SIT AND YOU WONDER WHETHER IT'S GONNA BE SYNDICATED... I finally got an Atom feed. I don't even rightly know what that is, but you can find it here. Please tell me if I've messed it up somehow, since, as I say, I have no clue what this is. But people kept asking when I was gonna get one.

In other "shiny new toys!" developments, I've added a PayPal button. Use it wisely.

(Real blogging soon--and I mean it this time!)
posted by Eve at 7:33 PM

 
DEEP THOUGHTS: Ratty sent me a vast list of 'em. She pointed out that most of them were metaphors for her life, for my life, or for same-sex marriage. (Sometimes, of course, I worry that my life is just one big metaphor for same-sex marriage.) Here are some samples; judge for yourself.

My life: Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't care who hears me, because I am beautiful.

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep.

The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me."

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace
treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly
act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"

Let's be honest: isn't a lot of what we call tap-dancing really just nerves?

The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, "What am I doing?!"

I'm telling you, just attach a big parachute to the plane itself! Is anyone listening to me?!

I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.

Isn't it funny how one minute life can be such a struggle, and the next minute you're just driving real fast, swerving back and forth across the road?

The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him!

I don't say that the bird is "good" or the bat is "bad." But I will say this: at least the bird is less nude.

Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.

Before a mad scientist goes mad, there's probably a time when he's only partially mad. And this is the time when he's going to throw his best parties.

If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.

Perhaps, if I am very lucky, the feeble efforts of my lifetime will someday be noticed, and maybe, in some small way, they will be acknowledged as the greatest works of genius ever created by Man.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.

If you're a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you get your first anvil. How innocent you are, little blacksmith.

If a kid ever asks you how Santa Claus can live forever, I think a good answer is that he drinks blood.

It's funny how two simple words, "I promise," will stall people for a while.

SSM: If you're ever on an airplane that's crashing, see if you can't organize a quick thing of group sex, because come on, you squares.

Instead of a bicycle built for two, what about no kinds of bicycles at all for anybody, anymore? There, are you happy now?

If you're an ant, and you're walking along across the top of a cup of pudding, you probably have no idea that the only thing between you and disaster is the strength of that pudding skin.

I think a new, different kind of bowling should be "carpet bowling." It's just like regular bowling, only the lanes are carpet instead of wood. I don't know why we should do this, but my God, we've got to try something!
posted by Eve at 11:19 AM

 
FREE OLD TIME RADIO SHOWS! Listen online.

Via T. Bress.
posted by Eve at 10:06 AM

 
SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE: So I've recently sampled two sci-fi/horror works: the first volume of Junji Ito's killer-fish manga Gyo, and the '60s French b&w; film "Eyes without a Face." Both were effectively creepy, but neither really captivated me.

Gyo begins with an intriguing sequence between a young couple on vacation at Okinawa. The girlfriend is repelled by the boyfriend's bad breath; they fight about money, and she complains of the worsening smell. But the smell turns out to emanate not from the boyfriend, but from these utterly creepy fish on insectlike stilts.

These walking fish (and squid and sharks and manta rays) are severely spooky. They're the kind of blunt, blank-faced horror image that seems to be Ito's specialty. Perhaps the most effective and frightening thing about Gyo is the sound effects. That's a tough trick to pull off in a comic, but Ito manages it: Every scene has an eerie shaaaaaaaa, a deceptively quiet plish plish plish, or a hideous gashunk. The fonts (not quite the right word since the sound effects are drawn, not typeset) add to the menace.

But the rest of the comic--everything that isn't the walking fish--really didn't work for me. The relationship between Kaori and Tadashi gets exactly no development (unlike the characters' relationships in Ito's killer-spiral manga Uzumaki). And whereas the killer spirals in Uzumaki seemed to have too many meanings and resonances--a scary and intellectually exciting approach--the walking fish don't really seem to mean much at all.

"Eyes without a Face" has a much more coherent underlying intellectual picture. It's about the terrible things we'll do for those we love; it's about how the scientific quest for an end to suffering can lead to human sacrifice and a loss of personal identity. I'm really attracted to both those themes. Plus the movie has a lot of very haunting images: the face mask, the operating room, the pearl necklace, the masked girl comforting the dogs, the masked girl releasing the doves, the car traveling through the woods.

My problem with "Eyes" is the same as one of my problems with Gyo: I really don't respond to narrative horror unless there's a strong element of characterization. This is sort of like how I find it very hard to follow music unless there's a human voice. It's the reason I love The Shining (the book), which relies on characterization for its horror (the slow revelation of Jack Torrance's secrets and his descent into evil), but was left cold by "The Shining" (the movie), which relies on imagery for its horror. People who don't have this need for characterization in their horror should definitely check out "Eyes," though, as I expect they'll get much more from it than I did.
posted by Eve at 4:07 AM

 
I'VE BEEN MESSIN' WITH THE BLOGROLL, ALL THE LIVELONG DAYYYYYYY.... Two additions: Diotima, who posts primarily on feminism and its discontents, and law-blog-god How Appealing. I also fixed some bad links, and finally updated my archives list.
posted by Eve at 3:23 AM

 
INTERNATIONAL JEWISH CONSPIRACY. Hee! Includes "Are You a Giant Lizard? You'd Be Surprised!"

Via Cacciaguida.
posted by Eve at 3:18 AM

 
"GETTING FIRED": "YOU MUST BE HERE FOR THE MACHINE." The latest installment of my short story's rough draft. This is probably the height of the story's weirdness. It's pretty creeptastic. B&w; film homage continues as our hero watches two members of his profession get... beautified. Read the story so far starting here (recommended), or just read the most recent installment here.
posted by Eve at 2:58 AM

 
WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE: TWO VIEWS OF MARRIAGE. Me at MarriageDebate. Not an argument, more an introduction or framework. Also, sometime this morning there will be a new question of the week: Does history matter? Plus the usual news-and-opinion smorgasbord (orgasbord, orgasbord).
posted by Eve at 2:48 AM

 
CLINTON AND IRAQ: WMDs, sanctions, lying to the public, and trusting defectors. Start here, then go here, then here (comments too), then here. All are very much worth your time. I am way too tired to pull together coherent commentary, though.

Also: "The Bush administration's assertion that Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein had ties to al Qaeda -- one of the administration's central arguments for a preemptive war -- appears to have been based on even less solid intelligence than the administration's claims that Iraq had hidden stocks of chemical and biological weapons." Almost entirely written from anonymous sourcing, so you know; but there's a lot of stuff of interest here.
posted by Eve at 2:43 AM

 
I will watch the blog from Venus (for science!)...

Cacciaguida: "Die Frau Ohne Schatten"--the secret is out....

Unqualified Offerings: Homeschooling and socialization. Me on ditto.

Johnny Cash reads the New Testament. Via Relapsed Catholic.

India's Muslims are oppressed. Why aren't they angry? I don't know enough about the situation to say whether this assessment is accurate, but it is interesting.

And last: "Now he's the author of 'Sneaky Uses for Everyday Things,' a book that shows readers how to turn lemons into batteries, transform milk into plastic and create a 'power ring' capable of triggering homemade magnetic switches.

"One of the book's most impressive improvisations is cobbling together a working radio from a penny, a toilet paper tube, a piece of cardboard, a twist-tie, three paper clips and 25 feet of telephone cord." Via When Will the Hurting Stop?.
posted by Eve at 2:38 AM

 
HOOKUP CULTURE: I must not have been clear in my post about Elizabeth Marquardt's presentation on the college "hookup" scene. Lawrence Krubner read me as arguing that hookups are in some important way analogous to date rape; what I was actually trying to say is the much more limited point that the hookup "script"--get drunk and keep communication minimal--makes date rape much more likely.

More Krubner soonish....
posted by Eve at 1:30 AM

 
LOL. Obligatory disclaimer: I have not seen "The Passion" and don't especially plan to. But I thought this exchange was a hilarious commentary on how oblique and intuitive the creative process often is to the artist. You can train yourself--you have to train--but the point of that training is to shape your instincts and intuitions, because very often you make the artistic choices and figure out the reasons why later, if at all. (Barbara discusses this more eloquently if you follow the link below.)

The minister was not happy with me. He waited a few cold seconds of silence and then talked past me to Mel. "And that scene with the ugly baby. What was that?"

Mel said, "I dunno. I just thought it was really creepy. Didn't you think it was creepy?"

Minister guy: "But what is it supposed to mean?"

Me: "Satan brought a friend. He wanted to share it with a friend."

Mel laughed. "Yeah, he brought a friend!"

Minister guy persisted with exasperation, "But WHERE did you get that from?"

In other words, "You DIDN'T get it in the Bible, because I KNOW the Bible."

Mel, at this point was getting just as exasperated, "I dunno. I guess I just pulled it out of my ass."

more
posted by Eve at 1:19 AM

 
"The awareness of grandeur and the sublime is all but gone from the modern mind. Our systems of education stress the importance of enabling the student to exploit the power aspect of reality. To some degree, they try to develop his ability to appreciate beauty. But there is no education for the sublime. ...Significantly, the theme of Biblical poetry is not the charm or beauty of nature; it is the grandeur, it is the sublime aspect of nature which Biblical poetry is trying to celebrate."
--Abraham Heschel, God in Search of Man
posted by Eve at 1:15 AM