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| California! You are the greatest state in the greatest country in the world, and you have picked me to be your Governor! Tonight I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for this thing you have given me, your trust.
We have to now move forward, with everyone in California together making the good things happen again. Tomorrow my advisors, who you all know well because they are the same people who were in Sacramento before Mister Gray Davis, will begin our 100 day plan to bring California back.
You will see that this will be quite easy for me. I've faced many challenges in my life, and I'm all about action. My 10-point plan will get California back on track, and I'm sure the unions and the Indian casinos will forget all the things I said about them and give in to our demands very quickly. We'll send more money to the classrooms, more money back to you people, and we'll have plenty left over to solve the debt problems and live happily every after.
Finally, I would like to address the rumors about problems at the borders. Reports that large crowds are headed toward Mexico, Arizona, Nevada and out to sea are wildly exaggerated. The California Highway Patrol informs me that fewer than 100,000 people are leaving the state tonight, and it's not true that many of them are women who have worked on movie sets with me.
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Who says I don't have a plan? Step 1: Abolish that silly car tax. Imagine! A tax on cars! Step 2: Do an audit on to see if we can afford to repeal the car tax. Step 3: Make Washington give us back more of the money we pay in federal taxes. What could be simpler than convincing Congress to give California more money? Right now for every dollar in federal taxes they only send back 77 cents. What are they doing with those 23 cents? Why hasn't anyone asked for it? Because they don't have the guts! Step 4: Stop fraud. Why do I have to think of these things? If we just stopped all the fraud, we'd have plenty of money. No more fraud: I'll outlaw it. Step 5: Stop all those jobs from going to Arizona. We'll set up checkpoints at the border to keep those jobs from crossing. If we can do it with Mexicans, we can do it with jobs. Step 6: Well, step 6 is kind of a secret. But I'll tell you this, it can easily be described by referencing Hollywood blockbusters I've been in, which as everyone knows, never go over budget.
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 "The politicians make a mistake, they keep spending and spending and spending," but budgeting is easy! Just don't spend more than you've got!
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 I'm so excited! Maria and I got to go on Oprah's show and talk about what a great election this is, and what fun it's going to be when I get to be governor! That Oprah's a tough interviewer! All those people who keep saying I'm scared of hard questions should check out the tape of this show. We covered all sorts of important political topics, like my sex life, and my mother-in-law, and what animal I feel like when I'm running for governor.
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As I said on September 3rd, "One of my favorite things to do is stand there with people and debate over the issues and then let the people decide." It's just that I like to do it after receiving all the questions in advance and after I've had time to talk to my campaign consultants about what I should say. I'm not afraid of a debate, I'd just rather watch it on TV like my fellow Californians.
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| I'm running for Governor to lead a people's takeover. I represent you, the people of California. Like you, I went AWOL from my army post as a teenager to compete in a bodybuilding contest. Like you, I own millions of dollars worth of real estate and have made many movies, some of which required me to speak as many as 17 lines.
We Californians know the hardship of having interviews in which we bragged about past sexual and drug-related accomplishments brought up many years later. We know what it's like to be unable to hear Matt Lauer's questions about our tax returns even though they were being piped directly into our ears. We know hardship. We know hard work. And we know that a man with absolutely no government experience can work with the California legislature to balance the budget without raising taxes.
I'm just like you, except, I could own you if I wanted to.
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September 5, 2003:
"Like many women, I'm just trying to juggle helping my husband and my four children."
And keeping track of my many, many millions of dollars. And several homes. And horses. It's a struggle.
"Arnold is the most gracious, supportive man I've ever known. I know I wouldn't be where I am today without his support."
I'd have to fall back on the fact that I'm part of one of the most prominent political families in America.
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