Man Pleads Guilty in Mistaken 'Rape Fantasy'

A California man has pleaded guilty to residential burglary after he set up a meeting with a woman on a rape fantasy Internet chat page, but instead broke into a different woman's apartment.

...

After he entered the wrong apartment, he hit and struggled with the 25-year-old woman inside, who told law enforcement officials she thought she was going to be killed.

The victim stopped the attack by yelling and attacking Howard's testicles. Howard then asked for the name the victim used in the chat room and she responded by saying she had never visited a chat room and did not have a personal computer.

My second reaction: There are still people out there, ones who have apartments and electricity, who don't have personal computers?

Yup, you are reading that right:

"u r sick... i will prey for you!"

Monday, March 29, 2004

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

State police have charged a 15-year-old Latrobe girl with child pornography for taking photos of herself and posting them on the Internet.

Police said the girl, whose identity they withheld, photographed herself in various states of undress and performing a variety of sexual acts. She then sent the photos to people she met in chat rooms.

A police report did not say how police learned about the girl. They found dozens of pictures of her on her computer.

She has been charged with sexual abuse of children, possession of child pornography and dissemination of child pornography.

"I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but I'm in a real mess. As some of you may know, I happen to be in France. And in France, it's really hard to get a decent porno magazine, that doesn't cost 20 bucks and doesn't have horses and shit in it (French people are perverts!!)

This is what I humbly ask, and whether you agree with it or not, please just try to pass the word around:

I'd really like it if somebody would mail me a Playboy. A hustler even, or one of those mini-magazines that don't cost as much to mail...."

Care to speculate what's in the picture the young man is looking at?

"Whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire."

Although this particular sex blog is not the place for discussions of Christian religion, me being neither Christian nor convertible, there's no particular reason why sex blogs (even kinky ones) can't handle the subject with grace, intelligence, and wit when it comes up. Alas, that's apparently too much to expect from the littering pamphleteers with the sulphurous savor of burning flesh in their nostrils.

Thanks to Daze for the link, and to Goldstein for the punning word "petaphilia". Does that have anything to do with this, I wonder?

Thirteen is the new eighteen, and has been for a decade. By 18, most young adults are already sexually active and have been for some time. Better nutrition and pediatric medicine have been steadily lowering the age of first menstruation among American girls to the current record-breaking average of age 11. It's just preposterous to expect young people to remain sexually inactive for SEVEN YEARS after the onset of puberty.

So I wandered over to the bed to kiss her. After that essential business was taken care of, I was standing by the bed, sipping my coffee, and watching her wake up as we made desultory conversation. (Also, I was amusing myself by tugging at the sheet she was attempting, fruitlessly, to cover herself with.)

I ask her: "So what do you want to do today?"

A: "I need to go to the store."

Q: "Oh yeah? What for?" (Translation for aliens: "What items do you need to go to the store to get?")

A: "I need a couple of items."

Whereupon your researcher abandoned all further attempts to communicate with this alien via ordered sound waves. Instead, I rousted her from her nest by vigorous application of this essential tool to the bottoms of her feet.

She had it coming. No male jury would convict me.

I can’t imagine why any of you boys like to look down.

1. Well, first – there’s the whole breathing issue. If you have any luck at all with genetics or pills, she won’t be doing much of it through her mouth. Leaving only the nose for that overrated O2 exchange, I’d hope hers isn’t stopped up all of the time like mine is, as this will make her even shorter of breath. I find myself making little gasps every few moments, like when you are swimming underwater and you come up to the surface for just a split-second before you go back under. Sexy, eh?

2. Then, of course, there’s the suction. Let’s say you’re really enjoying a lollipop, and you pull it from your mouth quickly (like when you have to gasp for air), it makes almost a popping noise from the pressure released.

3. Additionally, your mouth waters, since you have likely activated your digestive system by putting something in your mouth, and taking quick breaths with a watery mouth makes – that’s right – slurping noises.

4. And let’s not forget the gag reflex; the majority of us who are not ‘independent art film actresses’ still have one. When I gag, my whole body lurches a little, forward, which causes, that’s right – more gagging.

5. Plus, there's the crying. I have the most sensitive eyes in the world, I cry when I laugh, I cry when I’m mad, and I find little tears forming when I’m working really really hard at pulling a golf ball through a garden hose. Sometimes they even spill over. In joy, of course, pure joy. Eventually all of this effort, and crying, will loosen something in my nasal passage, and I will begin to sniffle.

Given all the gasping, suction noises, slurping, lurching, gagging, crying and sniffling, you really have one indelicate and kind of gross girl kneeling in front of you. But you boys never seem to mind.

1. Gasping. Sexy. This is news?

2. Suction noises. Sexier. Sex noise is always hot.

3. Slurping. This is supposed to be a catalog of undesirables?

4. Gagging. OK, not sexy. But the lurching? We thought you were just lunging forward so you could fit more in your mouth. That's sexy.

5. Crying. Haven't seen this one. Am imaging six macho guys out there saying "Dude, you never made her cry? You must have a tiny wiener."

However, if you want to know all about it, without actually having to lose your breakfast by coming face to face with the images, the Wikipedia people have the straight dope on goatse.cx, tubgirl, and similar shocksites.

And that, boys and girls, is the best argument for the open encyclopedia project I've ever seen. Can you imagine a dead-tree commercial publisher compiling or sharing that information?

Found this in my GUBA downloads directory from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage. Don't you just love the cute turn-of-the-century ringlets?

Although semen on a woman's face is not really my thing, I'm enough of a fun-minded pervert to understand the appeal of the fake celebrity angle. After all, doesn't Willow seem more approachable when you see her with "your" own cum dribbling from her lips? And who wouldn't enjoy those gorgeous eyes and that smile under similar circumstances? A man would have to be dead.

I do have to wonder, though, how the celebrities in question feel about it. Yeah, I know, they are well paid and richly compensated in other ways by the popularity which nominates them for this particular indignity, but these are still real human beings with husbands and boyfriends and maiden aunties and little brothers and other such folk in their lives who might find this sort of imagery disturbing.

I'm not going to lose any sleep over it, but we now live in a world where your face and mine and Britney's are all equally fair game -- raw material for whatever digital mix might amuse a fickle public. Already you know that high school boys are circulating "photos" like this in the locker room, starring the homecoming queen and the entire cheerleading squad kneeling in a sticky row. How long until you can beam a mugshot of your cutest co-worker from your phone cam to your DVD player, which will cheerfully paste her facial features onto the lithe body of Vivid's latest superstar porn model?

No wonder Miss Piggy always seems so jealous!

Thanks to Richard for the link.

In this case, three of the assistants are evidently stage right holding the Clydesdales.