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Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004
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1:05 pm - psycho blabber
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I think? too much about things
I find? great joy in simple pleasures
I want? peace
I have? a lot of uncertainty
I wish? Rob was here holding me
I hate? people with chips on their shoulders
I miss? my family, very much
I feel? much more deeply than I let on
I hear? the whirring of computers constantly
I smell? like cosmetics
I crave? a soft fuzzy warm blanket
I search? for something I really believe in (still)
I wonder? how the world looks through other people's eyes
I regret? the pain I've caused to others
I love? life, even though it is confusing. Because it is confusing.
I ache? in my legs at night and I don't know why
I long? to be fully known and unconditionally accepted
I care? too much about my own comfort
I always? can be cheered up by a hug
I am not? good at telling jokes
I believe? that love is the most important thing
I dance? well, in my dreams
I sing? really loud when I think nobody is listening
I cry? at all the wrong times
I do not always? know what I am thinking
I succeed? when I really want to
I fail? just like everybody else does
I fight? only with myself
I write? about things I'm uncomfortable talking about
I win? little victories every day
I lose? all of the time when I play video games
I never? want to have to say goodbye again
I confuse? extroverts
I listen? more than I speak
I am? therefore I think. wait, I mean..
I hope? Rob is feeling better today
I expect? all things to work together for good
I need? reassurance often
I should? be working right now
Please feel free to copy and paste this into your journal. (stolen from ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040203191733im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) sanguru)
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| Friday, January 30th, 2004
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12:39 pm - Food for thoughts
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Hey, I posted this thing in ![[info]](http://library.vu.edu.pk/cgi-bin/nph-proxy.cgi/000100A/http/web.archive.org/web/20040203191733im_/http:/=2fstat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) abstractthought. It was part of a longer ramble I typed up, that I never meant to post anyplace. But later I decided a few paragraphs of it were especially thought-provoking, and I wanted to get other people's thoughts on them.
Well, I got back a bunch of really good, long comments. The people in that community have such wisdom, and they are very articulate. I want to share these thoughts with my readers here, cause I think it's something everyone should think about. Not so much what I wrote, but the responses.
Read Read Read
It's about finding happiness, and whether getting everything you want is always a good thing. Feel free to share your thoughts on the matter here, too.
current mood: abstract
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| Monday, January 26th, 2004
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7:21 pm
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Internet still down at home, total 8 days now. I caved this evening and got dialup. Over a weak is unbearable. This means I can finally bring you all these pretty pictures. Like my new haircut?
( + 4 more )
I've suspected for a while now that I could take better pictures of myself than many of the photographers I've been to, and I think those prove it. Or at least hint at it.
I also did a survey that I got from shadowbody that has some thought-provoking questions I haven't seen before.
( see the survey )
I haven't been reading any of your journals because of my internet problem, but I will catch up tomorrow, I promise. I miss you all!
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| Wednesday, January 21st, 2004
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11:33 am - warning: boring entry
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Internet at home isn't working, again. Total = 3.5 days so far.
Rob has decided he's interested in getting a laptop with wireless connection to the internet for his room at the academy. YAY!!!!!!!!!!! Only thing, this is easier said than... found. It has to have no outward components for it to pass his room inspection. And most laptops, when they say wireless, they mean they have a wireless connection to a router that you place somewhere else in your house/room. But I think I may have found what he needs.
Went to my first class last night - The Lithosphere. Looking at the syllabus, hearing the first lecture... it's going to be Geology 101 and 102 all over again. I could recite this stuff in my sleep. I can look at this two ways (1) Total Yawn (2) Easy A. Glass half empty or glass half full. If I decide it's an easy A, guess I shouldn't be taking it pass/fail then, huh? I just, as of a few minutes ago, managed to securely move my research project to the summer. So now I'm thinking, just go to the lectures, do all the work, get the A. I just will have to figure out how to stay awake. Good thing is, 2/3 of it will be taught by professors I know and like a great deal. It's like a blast from the past, which is comforting in the midst of the winding maze full of strangers that forms the school of computational sciences.
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| Monday, January 19th, 2004
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10:42 am - Updated with new peeps
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| Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
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3:47 pm - 51 States
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| Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
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8:45 pm - I got my favorite color kitty!
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| Monday, January 12th, 2004
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2:42 pm
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Today at work I am tracing lines. It will easily last me through the end of the day. I was thinking, while doing this, about how in geology 101 lab I learned about these things: groundwater surface equipotential maps. We learned how to tell which way the water is flowing from them. It flows perpendicular to the contour lines. We used that information to figure out whether contaminants from one place could get to another on the map. It was a fun little exercise. Seemed very useful. I imagined myself in a job someday doing that. What they didn't teach us in class is what we'd actually be doing. We'd get a stack of these with years of data and have to trace each 10 interval line with a mouse. The thing we really need to know is not how to interpret it, but how to - (1) keep from getting eye strain (2) keep from getting carpal tunnel (3) figure out how to tell the difference between 20 and -20 on a faded map, badly scanned, that has been warped to the correct coordinate system (4) tell the difference between a contour line and a stream on same such map, in black and white.
I'm looking forward to school starting because I'm bored with break. Although, I anticipate this semester will be very difficult. I will be taking more classes than I should be, and working two jobs. Roughly twice what I did last semester. And last semester felt just right. Oh well. If I do it right, come summer I'll be finished, and in much better financial shape. Another reason I'm looking forward to summer (well the end of summer) is by then Rob will done with the police academy. He left for it yesterday. And although I will still see him on the weekends like before, the time in between the weekends will be harder for me. Because he won't be on AIM anymore, nor will he be reading my journal. And those things make me feel connected with him even when he's away. The fact that he's reachable by cell phone for some reason doesn't feel the same. I think because I've never liked talking on the phone, whereas I love writing and chatting on AIM. I'm proud of him and excited for him, though.
I did a whole bunch of maintenance things on saturday. My room is now livable again (first time in about a month cause my junk from the basement was all mashed in there), and my car has new oil. 10:30 tomorrow morning I start my new (other) job as a Stream Buffer Analyst on campus at GMU. Totally the coolest position title I've had, ever. Go me!
P.s. Anyone else having trouble with livejournal recognizing your login password the first time you enter it, lately? Or does the site just hate me?
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| Friday, January 9th, 2004
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10:18 pm - too friggin cold
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It took me and hour and a half to drive ten miles to work today. Traffic was backed up because of ice on the roads. The high is only going to be 24 tomorrow. Too friggin cold for me to have any fun at avalon. So I'm spending my first weekend alone without Rob since I got back from Boston. It sucks. I'm tempted to say I miss California, but I don't. I JUST MISS ROB AND I WISH HE WAS HERE. Dumb weather. My new space heater can't keep me warm enough, if you know what I mean.
current mood:  lonely
current music: When You're Gone - Bryan Adams
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| Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
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4:14 pm - Myers-Briggs Anyone?
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Most people have heard of this personality test, alternatley called the Myers-Briggs or the Keirsey Tempermant Sorter. If you haven't, go and take it, it's so insightful!
I was reading a bunch of desciptions of my type last night. I've gotten frustrated with this test before, because I'm so borderline on the N/S and P/J distinctions that it often leaves me more confused about who I am than when I started. But when I read the sythesized descriptions, I always come away feeling most like I am an INFP. It just sounds so much like me it is unbelievable. Like about how they live their life in their head and what's going on their head is this epic struggle between good and evil. Yes Yes Yes.
But anyway, the point of this post is this fun little thing I found in the idealists community that is like that birth-month thing I posted before.
There are 16 Myers-Brigs Types, sorted into four groups. Find your group below. Then, bold those that particularly apply to you, strike through those that absolutely don't, and leave the rest. I've also put the qualities for the other temperaments, in case you're interested.
NF's (Idealists): alienated, bashful, confused, credulous, critical, depressed, detached, difficult, estranged, exacting, fussy, guilt prone, hard to please, hypochondriac, indecisive, inflexible, insecure, introvert, judgmental, loner, moody, moralistic, mystical, negative attitude, overly sensitive, perfectionistic, pessimistic, picky, revengeful, resentful, too sensitive, skeptical, self-absorbed, self-critical, self-righteous, stuffy, suspicious, touchy, unforgiving, unpopular, unrealistic, withdrawn, worry prone.
( the three other groups )
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| Friday, January 2nd, 2004
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10:30 am - Happy 2004
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The only real New Year's Resolution I've ever made is to keep a diary. Guess I've done pretty well on that one, huh?
Being the type of reflective and introspective person I am, I survey the past, contemplate the future, make resolutions, and break them, almost on a daily basis. Nothing special about one particular date over another.
New year's was great though, because of fireworks, and being kissed by Rob. We went to First Night in Alexandria with Fred imagemaker Happy 2004, everyone.
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| Wednesday, December 31st, 2003
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4:07 pm
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So I read this article on why the catholic church opposes contraception that paolomunoz posted. I thought it was really interesting, and well-written, and it made me think a lot. But, I don't agree with it. And, I'm bored today, and feel like writing up at length exactly why I disagree.
So ( very long and slightly repetitive )
That was fun. And that is all I am going to type on the matter. I think I'm missing writing papers for school, or something!
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(12 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, December 29th, 2003
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2:48 pm
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I'm doing a photo shoot tomorrow. :) :) :) :)
This makes me vury vury happy. Met with the photographer today over lunch - found out he works at the USGS, so, instant point of camaraderie. I'm excited - it makes up for not being able to do any shoots in Las Vegas.
Speaking of Las Vegas, that was the weirdest place to spend Christmas, ever. I expected it to be, and I think part of the reason it turned out to be was because of that expectation, but.. yeah. The only redeeming value was of course the wedding, and the last day, when we went to Red Rocks park. That place was beautiful, awe-inspiring, and incredibly fun. The rest of Las Vegas... it seems to me like a monument to human, uh.. how do you say? worldliness? excess? gaudiness? everywhere baubles and flashing lights trying to get your attention, but what they are advertising is so empty. I dunno. It just seems anti- everything that Christmas is supposed to be about. If we were the only people there I might have felt better, but the masses of people clamoring around just made me sad. I wanted to tell them to all go home and be with their families. or at church. or volunteering at a homeless shelter. or riding around in a one horse open sleigh. just somewhere else. anywhere! anywhere besides pulling the slot lever for hours on end.
the whole thing made me feel a bit off. but as I said, there was enough fun to make up for it all. Seeing Sean and Amy happy together was wonderful. Being anywhere with Rob was wonderful. The fact that I got to have three Christmases was nice too. (one with my family, one with Sean's, and one with Rob's).
I gambled a total of $1.50. And I added many new pics to the photo album I linked to in the last entry. more words to come later, probably, but I'm at work so that's all for now.
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| Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003
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12:33 pm
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| Saturday, December 20th, 2003
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8:34 am
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I’m here in CA. There hasn’t been a whole lot of time for updating, because so much fun stuff is going on. I’ve hardly even been at the computer for days on end, which is really weird for me, even when I come out here. But it’s just been great :). Rob and the family are getting along marvelously. I’m so glad he came. I keep thinking about how it’s probably the last time I’ll see all of these things, and my whole family together here. But it’s turning out to be such a nice last time, that I really can’t be sad.
Just a few snippets, that maybe I will elaborate upon later:
We saw Return of the King on Thursday evening. I think everyone who is interested in it has seen it by now, so I’m not gonna worry about ruining it. It was good except for the fact that they left out the raising of the shire. Rob was all put out about that, and the reasons he gave made a lot of sense. He said the raising of the shire is the part that shows that the hobbits have grown as a result of this adventure. Because they are able to deal with it on their own – they put down Saramon and Wormtounge, without anyone else leading them.
We went to see all the places where I grew up: the condo in Los Gatos where I lived from birth through second grade, and the house in San Jose where we lived from then till about four months before I left for VA in 1998. We also saw West Valley college (where I went for my first year of college), and AIM mail center where I had my first job.
We went to Brianne’s gym and Rob had fun doing some of the gymnastics stunts that he used to do with Gymkana on the equipment there. Also got to see Brianne teaching one of her classes. Oh, and we watched a video of me and my sisters in Circus Camp when I was about 14 years old. It’s the only thing nearing gymnastics I have ever done. We laughed a lot because it’s basically a video of confused little kids flailing around to music from Aladdin :).
Today the relatives will be arriving: my half brother James with his wife Louise and baby Zoe, and my grandparents (on dad’s side). We’re making a pasta dinner for them. At the grocery store yesterday I got a pomegranate, and some pomegranate juice. Pomegranates are the fruit of the gods. But they only grow well in California (well, places with Mediterranean climate). They grow best during the fall, and it’s December now, so I don’t know how good it will be, but I have high hopes. Rob has never seen one before!
I have some pictures of me and my sisters putting gold beaded garland on the tree that I may post later today, cause they’re cute.
current mood:  chipper
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| Monday, December 15th, 2003
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12:12 pm
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I'm not entirely over my not-wanting-to-update funk, but I feel I need to write something before I leave for CA on Wednesday. And, there's nothing to do at work today. So *making an attempt*
The results of that quiz I posted were interesting. Not because people generally did badly (I expected that), but because of who took it. I found out some people read my journal who I didn't know did. Well neato, always gotta love that. And there are some mystery people. I love them too.
*will try to be interesting for the mystery people so they won't float away back into their ethereal realm*
Thursday was the last day of class for the semester. I took my final, and interviewed for a part-time job on campus that would start in january. Both went well. Almost certain I got the job and and an A in the class. After class my teacher told me they are still working on the whole structural geology debacle.. they even went and talked to the provost about it. they are saying I got "mis-advised" and that the school should give me a course on paper with a tuition refund to take care of it. he told me they're doing everything they can, and to have a good break, and not worry about it over christmas.
so I will! I intend to have a great break!
I don't get the people who complain about GMU. The school has never done anything but bend over backwards for me.
This weekend Rob and I trekked up to Timonium, Maryland, to see my dad and his new apartment. He told us horror stories about the snow. (snow instills fear in the soul of even the most stouthearted californian). It snowed right after he arrived there. When he ventured out to survey the damages to his car (which now was an igloo), some old lady noticed he looked new around here, and asked where he was from. "oh you poor soul!" she replied when he said California. yep. his water heater broke that same day, too, and gushed an inch and a half of water over the entire apartment. welcome to maryland. he's finally all settled now though, and we had a nice time.
I also helped Rob's mom decorate their christmas tree, and I enjoyed that a great deal. She told me stories about all the ornaments, she baked cookies, and Rob and his dad helped with the lights. the weekend before was also nice and christmasy like that when me and Rob went to the Festival of Lights and Carols in fairfax. they had ice sculptures, and trees lit up, and reindeers with moving heads, and a yule log where people could make smores. all free! and they gave out song books and people sang carols. <3 <3 fairfax <3 <3
Rob is sick though! he got what his mom had. he needs to get better before we head out, and i need to not get sick. I didn't really try very hard to keep myself from getting exposed. ok I didn't try at all! he's just so snuggly I can't help it! so I am battling the impending attack of the germs with my hefty-duty immune system, vitamin pills, water, lots of rest, and ice cream! i think the last one is the key ingredient ;). I will emerge victorious.
current mood:  determined
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
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3:43 pm
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| Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
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6:29 pm
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So we had an earthquake! It felt like home. Speaking of such, December seventeenth cannot come fast enough.
"So you think you're lonely. Well my friend I'm lonely too. I wanna get back to my city by the bay."
I've been wanting to update, but I'm not in a good mood for it. If I updated now (or anytime earlier today) I would end up just saying depressing things that I don't really think. Maybe tomorrow.
current mood:  weird
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 5th, 2003
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9:36 am
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So, the first snow arrived.
And, um, I have another collection of
( good quotes )
Not all of those are from the quotes community, this time. Some I found myself!
Here's hoping all of you are warm and snuggly right now, preferably in front of a fire place. Instead of at work with wet socks.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
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7:06 pm - I got the color of my eyes!
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you are lightcyan
#E0FFFF |
Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.
Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.
Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.
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the spacefem.com html color quiz |
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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excited