Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Angel of Music's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, March 10th, 2002
9:17 pm	More bad poetry First off... I AM JUBILEE! :o) *giggle* I always did like her... >img src="http://www.eden.rutgers.edu/~alyssa13/xmen/jubilee.jpg" border=1 alt="Jubilation Lee"> I'm Jubilation Lee What X-Men Character are You? Ahora, para las poesias muy males... (now, for the bad poetry...) Repeated Past... turning, I look at you again reliving a dream reliving a nightmare as you leave yet again I'm left more confused than ever how I let this happen time will never tell I feel again like a child never to mention never to question never to know or undertand how can I live with this? or do I live a lie? Wandering... After all I consider does anything sink in after all I learn nothing remains this brain rejects lesson but consumes passion living for the moment and hating the future cause I understand consequence but I fault the past what ever will become of this helpless little wanderer -Palestina (Comment on this)
8:45 pm	Life Styles Well, today has certainly been interesting. Thanks Jason, you inspired me to write this evening. Sorry its been so long, guys, hope you weren't holdking your breath waiting 'cause, well, you'd be dead by now. It was awesome to be at church for the first time in a good two months or more. Thank you, Tahra, for getting me out. I want to go a lot more now, I need it for my own sanity sake. Then Tahra, Andrew and I went up to the temple. I found it without getting lost even! YAY me! Oh yeah, I got a car... hee hee, her name is Molly, and she is a blue 1991 Ford Escort. Wicked small, but cute. Anyways, the temple gave me insight. Made me sooo incredibly introspective, that's what the gospel does to you, I guess. Rethinking my life decisions for the billionth time, wondering if I should go through with being with Xavier. Wondering if Andrew and I should get back together. Wondering if I can ever be a faithful Mormon for life, or if I will always be a confused member wandering around aimlessly in this world, too easily distracted by worldly pleasures and carnal instinct. After successfully learning to handle and getting through one of the toughest experiences of my life, I find myself slipping again into regression. Of course, I am sure most of you know by now, back in the day (lol), back in October, I began making myself puke. Byt November I was a raging bulemic and now, I only am tempted by the desire to make myself hurl. So inviting it seems sometimes, honestly. Especially now that I am gaining back a lot of the weight I lost. Its kind of sick, actually. But I refuse to ever vomit again by my own making. Just the thought of it scares me to death, sinking back to that level. Then stuff happens that changes your perspective again. I don't think I will ever be "good" again, but I think I am on the road to recovery. I pray. I can only pray that things will be okay. Pray for me too, guys, please? Thanks, Clark, for being there through thick and through thin and always being a true friend. I love you forever. Peace out... Palestina Current Mood: drained Current Music: Dana Glover- It Is You (from Shrek) (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 26th, 2002
9:33 pm	My feelings in a nutshell Hey guys, Feeling nostalgic and poetic... This is Enya's "Only Time".. Who can say where the road goes where the day flows only time And who can say if your love grows as your heart chose only time Who can say why your heart sighs as your love flies only time And who can say why your heart cries when your love lies only time Who can say when the roads meet that love might be in your heart And who can say when the day sleeps if the night keeps all your heart Night keeps all your heart Who knows - only time Who knows - only time Spent last weekend at my brother's house and it was so good for my mental health, not a stress headache the whole time! It was soo good to reconnec twith my brother and his wife and get to spend time with the kids. My three year old nephew Simon is the coolest kid you will ever meet. He is such an articulate little boy. Xavier picked me up on Monday and we took off to his uncle's then to his house then to mine. I love spending time with him, holding his hand, my head on his shoulder (the whole car ride... *sigh*) I think I missed three mid years and can't make them up, oh well, as long as I do good in all other aspects then I will be okay and can graduate. LoL Not like I can go to graduation or anything.. blech. Oh well. I hate school. Anywho, talk to you all! Love you! Tammi Current Mood: drained Current Music: Bailamos- Enrique Iglesias (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 22nd, 2002
9:49 pm	Life is soooo UP! Hey guys! My life has been so much better these past days. I got out to my brother's place in Providence this weekend. I didn't have a stress headache the whole time (coming from a period of two weeks of a headache... OUCH!). I was able to talk to them about what I have been going through for the past 5 months, well, three years. I also told my sister-in-law EVERYTHING. Its so wild how cool she was and how much she was supportive of my life decisions, I was so happy. Then Xavier came and got me after he got his car to work enough to pick me up. We ended up going back to his house, I sort of met the family, all speaking in Spanish and I was like "WHA?". I understood what he was saying to his tio, though. Oh my goodness, he is so sexy when he works on his car! :o) Then he drove me home and we just sat telling eachother how much we care about eachother and he was apolagizing about not being able to come over sooner. (He was supposed to come over at 10:30, hang out, then we were going back to my house at 12, but his fuel line went and he spent the day fixing his car only to have the transmission go when we were driving! Poor boy...) We were listening to the tape I made for him, then when we got to my house we looked at the stars as we sat on his dad's hood. *giggle* Anywho, I will change my icon as soon as I find a program that can alter images on my computer, I have one I want to put up but its too big and I have no imaging programs on my computer! Its NOT pornographic at all. See it for the composition and beauty, not for the sexuality. Grrrr, grow up guys! Muwahh... Tammi Current Mood: rejuvenated Current Music: She Misses Him- Tim Rushlow (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 15th, 2002
3:36 pm	Replies to you all Hey guys, Thanks for the unwavering support, but sometimes, perhaps its my own insecurity, I feel some redundance in it all. You say you will be there, but you don't know what I am going through. If you knew, if I told you everything, you would hate me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I've failed and I am so done dissapointing people. Our religious community is a great support for those who are doing wonderfully, but when people slip (I find myself guilty of this too, shamefully enough) we find ourselves distancing ourselves from them. Too afraid to make their same mistakes. My personal friends that have fallen, even completely away, I still support and love. As long as one is happy, truly happy, that is their plan. "Men are that they may have joy." Its in the scriptures! God is an amazing person. He is there when you need him and he will never desert you. He is there in multeous (sp?) bounties when you try to find him again. But you have to have that same desire the whole time or you will lose him! Stray strong, guys, to err is human, remember that. I love you! Tammi Current Mood: determined Current Music: She Bangs- Ricky Martin (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, January 14th, 2002
5:29 pm	Tiny Bubbles... As I furiously scrubbed my bathroom for three hours today, I realized, hey I'm so happy right now. Its my new destressor, cleaning, getting rid of things in my past, purging my life of immpurity and unwanted memories. Then I just got finished, got a couple more things to put away, but wanted to take a break, check my download and just see what's up. I just read my ex-boyfriend's online Diary and I am so depressed now. Sometimes I miss him, I think that's normal, and I wonder what we would be like if we were still together, what his life would be like, what mine would be. I am changing so rapidly right now I am afraid, but it is so riviting and exciting I just go with it. I go where the wind blows me and try to experience as much as I possibly can before this phase of my life ends. My plans for the future are solidifying, now if I can just get up in the morning and go to school. I go on an every other day basis pretty much. I'm too depressed to deal with stress. No one gets that, they just think I am making excuses. Gaul, that pisses me off so much. My boyfriend now treats me so gently, so sweetly. Its such an incredibly suportive relationship. I honestly want to be with him the rest of my life, but I'm seventeen and promises in love at our age mean nothing, as sad as that may sound. Maybe promises in love mean nothing at all. No one can go to the moon for another person, no matter how much they love them. Its all so hard, confusing, frusterating and completely blissful. I know, I'm not making much sense. "I'm not a girl, don't tell me what to believe, I'm just trying to find the woman in me, all I need is time that's mine.." I can relate to that song soooo much.... Anyway, hope this finds you all well! Tammi Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Boys- Britney Spears (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 26th, 2001
6:36 pm	Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz! (Comment on this)
6:30 pm	I figured it out! Strawberry: 50/100 Pear: 0/100 Banana: 30/100 Tomato: 25/100 Lemon: 20/100 Take the What Fruit Are You? test by webkin and aaronr! (Comment on this)
6:26 pm	Here is mine I am Mario. I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble. (I don;t know how to add links and stuff) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 12th, 2001
1:05 pm	School Sucks Today is the second day of the week I have skipped school because I haven't felt good and I really just don't feel like going. Now I am stressing out about it. I missed the first leg of Charlie Brown auditions. I still have a feeling somehting isgoing to happen this year that is going to screw a lot of things up for me. I don't know what it is. Its like a Harry Potter premonition or something. Egads! I love those books, almost done with the third. I have been reading a chapter or two a night right before bed and have been having Harry Potter dreams. I had this one last night that I was head girl of RavenClaw but it was also Gryffendor, too, weird. But I was given this gift by Professor McGonagall that enabled me to see this beautiful setting of the ocean whenever I was overly stressed out. The first time I enabled this ability a sea-creature came out of the sea, he was all sorts of different things in one (you know how dreams twist things around like that, one moment its this and the next moments its that?). He was a merman, but then he was a cenataur, then a hippogriff. It was so weird. But he ended up liking me and he changed into human form whenever he came out of the sea and we started going out with eachother. He was very passionate. A very interesting person. Then I won the lottry and got 8000+ bucks and I was pumped cause I was gonna buy a car with the money. LoL! Too funny! Anywho, life is intersting, certainly. if only these dreams could be reality, they are so much better then my life is right now. Tammi (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 10th, 2001
2:49 pm	Annoyance A word from the writer... What is Art? Does anyone here know? Art is composition, art is the human figure, art is color, art is words, art is music, art is comprehension. My icon is art, guys. Its not sexual and to the people who are taking it that way, all I have to say is what you say reflects back to who you are. I don't mean offense, but telling me that a picture of two naked people in a non-threatening, non-sexual position is dirty and sketchy is extremely shallow and has no idea what the hell art is. OKay, my point has been made. Grow up and get over yourselves, thanks. :o) Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Overprotected- Britney Spears (9 Comments |Comment on this)
8:42 am	There's gotta be something to say for mormons who have been deprived any sexual pleasure in their life ever. There is strength there, as is there great courage. Sometimes, though, when my teenage brain clicks over, I think, ther is great stupidity. What does the world say? Nothing better than a good lay. Seriously, I am so frusterated with it all right now cause my body aches from so much right now and it needs to have fun, right? No, I'm not going out to lose my virginity, relax guys. :o) I am just thinking... a lot. So yeah, I definitely have a hook up date this Saturday. Um, yeah. So ah, work until 4, jump in the shower, go out with one of my friends, not bad at all. I am going crazy!!! Ever feel like the actions you do aren't really your own or your fault? Ever felt that, when your body is screaming for something it needs to survive, you just keep on denying it, its a sick morbid pleasure. Just wondering... Tammi Current Mood: confused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 9th, 2001
4:39 pm	hi Hey guys, Life sucks right now. Gaull, I am turning into this psycho depressed person. Oh wait, already happened. ANYways. James, sorry I freaked you out yesterday, meant a lot to talk to you. Clark, where were you yesterday? I tried to call you lots. Grrrr. And then my friend Dee is supposed to call me. Maybe she was lying when she said she totally would do anything for me. Wouldn't that include returning phone calls? I know her mom wrote my number down. Oh well, I will see her tomorrow. I had to work yeaterday and it was really funny cause I was super-hyper and I was spouting random wild life facts that these little sea world animals say. Such as "I am a polar bear. My stomach can hold up to one hundred and fifty pounds of food!" Too funny. I think Ken was ready to kill me and Marci told me tha I was having a little too much fun with those animals. Tahra called me yesterday. I felt so loved. She told me to buy her one of the animals for her birthday. I think I will. :o) She turns 17 soon! Oh my goodness. We are getting so old, guys! I am going to write a book. I don't know when I will start, maybe tonight by getting an outline done. I always start writing then forget my direction and stop. I want this to be successful so I hope it will work. Its gonna be sort of a research project for me too. Hey, maybe I can make it up to a laurel project! Whoa! Nice! I just have one more to do and I am done. Then I have to rememorize a few (well, most) of the 13 articles of faith and I can get my Young Woman of Recognation award. Girls, you gotta be there at that ceremony. Its been a long time goal of mine and I WILL achieve it. Anywho, got a new CD. October Project. Goooooood stuff. Called "Falling Farther In". Its so pretty. And I got four christmas presents done. I have stopped spending money on lunch so I can buy people stuff this year for Christmas. LOL Love you all Tammi Current Mood: complacent Current Music: "Adam and Eve"- October Project (good song) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 4th, 2001
1:49 pm	Life is a circle Hey Guys! Life is a circle, full of beginnings and endings and being on the top to being on the bottom. I broke up with Josh last night. I really didn't feel relieved, nor did I feel sad. I am so apathetic to most life decisions I am faced with now that I just don't care. Its the meds I am on, I think. Too many drugs for me. I just wish my depression would go away. I am sick of acting like I am okay, oh my gosh, I hate it so much. Matthew showed up at my house yesterday. Thank God I took the day off from school and life and everything. Oh man. It was so incredible and so scary and so weird to be with him again. I don't get my feelings about him. I love him in the future but right now, it doesn't feel right for us to be together. But I know I would be happy if I married him. He was practically all over me and I was just like, whatever, go away, but I wouldn't push him away. Its just been too long. Way too long. I think I have to talk to him. School is school. Hey, I got the solo in concert choir. I didn't think I'd get it, I didn't do very well on the audition. Oh well, I guess Steve knows how I sing anyways. I hope I get a solo for graduation. I am out of days, too, I need to go to school on time everyday now or I can't go to graduation or prom or senior reception. Now that just sucks, doesn't it!? Hey, I am so glad I am single again, though. It better last longer than 3 weeks. Gaul. At least I don't have somebody lined up. LoL! Or all the guys you do, Patti. It was good talking to you last night, by the way, love you! Anyway, I will go now, I'm bored of writing. Tammi Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 29th, 2001
8:51 am	Hey Guys! Sorry its been so long. My ward has a new bishop! YAY. Now I can not feel uncomfortable about getting another temple recommend. Things are so weird with me now, anyways. Josh and I have been growing a little distant. He wants me to come over today, but my mom doesn't want to have to drive me. Which pisses me off. I really want to spend some one on one time with him today. See if there is anything there. Which brings me to the newest development in my life. Matthew. Yeah, that big, funloving guy who I was supposed to get married to? Yeah. Well I have realized that I am truly, deeply in love with him and that I want to be with him. However, he is leaving for his mission in less than a year and it would be pointless to get into a relationship and have him leave. As he said, he doesn't want to be Dear Johned. I don't think that will happen, but who knows, right? We can love more than one person in a lifetime, right? Andrew and I have been talking again. He wants to convert! Hello, randomness. Not that I am upset about it, cause I am not, its cool, just totally random. My play premieres tonight! Opening night for "A Christmas Carol". Its at the high school in Abington, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 if anybody wants to come. I'm not in it on stage, but I am doing hair and makeup. Its so much fun. Its different, half the freshman in the class worship me... ha ha, just kiddin', at least they find me humorous. I was giving makeovers to the crew last night during practice. I had a Q-tip contest with my friend Pete. We each tied, getting ten up each nostril, but some of mine fell out so he won. We haven't had a huge sex talk behind closed doors like last year, but that did happen during the actual play, so who knows. Lol Abington is so sexual. Ah well. Anywho, gonna get caught soon as I am in digital art, again.. No Catie, though, she switched out, the turd. Just kiddin' LOVE YOU CATIE! Tammi Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 15th, 2001
8:53 am	I am so confused Hey guys! So the dnace was interesting. I was able to talk to Max finally. He told me about BEss, I told him abnout Josh. He called me yesterday and we talked and it was cool and stuff. Then I left midway in between the dance cause it kind of sucked so Ben Wilford and I went to this local park and poured our hearts out to one another. It was kind of weird. Then we got back and my brother told me I was in trouble. Apparently they were looking for us for an hour, the extent of when we had been gone. So Carmen talked to me and started crying and I felt like a jerk. Church was horrible cause I went and my YW president was all "You need to be a better example." And then my bishop flipped out on me. He told me I was acting like the 18 year olds who go inactive. I was so mad at him and I couldn't look at him let alone speak to him. He made me feel so bad about myself, just because of this one mistake. I got to thinking about Mormons and I really think that some are comepletely F*d up. My bishop once told me I was risking celestial glory because I wasn't attending seminary. I'M SICK. I CAN'T HELP THAT. I flipped out on him about that and then he goes "Lets not try to avert the subject." I was so mad. He wants me to go to him for an interview every time I want to go to a stake activity now. SCREW THAT! I will make other plans, seriously. Then Tuesday night I went out with my friend Josh and I was driving and we were having fun being ourselves. I was being completely safe in driving, not doing anything wrong and a cop pulled us over. I was gonna cry! He harrassed us about the car being rejected for inspection, the jerk, but he didn't ticket us or anything. PHEW! Josh did all the talking, gratefully! Whooo! I was so scared. Then yesterday Amanda picked me up from school. (I totally missed the mandatory crew meeting, CRAP!) We just drove around for a little while, then we went to the cemetary and talked and stuff. She is the coolest person to hang out with. We started talking about religion, death, Brian, everything. I came home and Josh called me (my boyfriend) and he told me he might have to go into the military. ACK! NO! I wasn't happy. I went to Irish Step Dance last night and that was awesome. I am learning a ton more steps. Josh(friend)wrote them down for me. Anyways, my nephew is coming into school today for "Toddler Snack Day" in Child Development. Yay. Its gonna be way fun. So, tlak to you all later! Current Mood: excited (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 9th, 2001
12:41 pm	Anthrax Sucks Hey guys! Its been a while! Whoa. Anyways. This week has been pretty good. Sunday night I got to go out with my friend Josh and we drove around for a little while. Then we decided to go to see my Josh at work (South Shore Hospital). So we went to ask Josh and Amanda if they would like to come with us to go see Britney Spears in Concert. After we talked to them and got the answer that they had to check with mom and dad (rolls eyes), we went for more driving around. Then we ended up on the high way cause I was feeling the need for speed (I was driving) and we drove fast for a while. Then we ended up driving around Brockton looking for prostitutes to take out to eat. HAHA! After we bored of that, we wound up driving to the local playground near my house and sat in the car and talked for an hour. At that time I had to go home and he had to go to work. Good fun. My Josh came with me to Youth Group on Tuesday night. It was a mystery dinner and actually pretty fun for a joint activity in West Bridgewater 1st Ward. He had fun, he told me and it was good to see him anyway. That day was the day Britney's new CD came out and I had to work 3-6, he knew, so when he got in my car to go out that night he told me he had something for me. I was all confused. HE pulls out this gift wrapped square and I thought it as the CD and I got really excited. I opened it and it was and he told me he went out to get it for me because he knew I wouldn't have time to go out that day. HOW SWEET!!! Then Wednesday Brian flipped out at me over nothing, Again. I talked to all people involved and they gave me the same story, while he had a completely different one. Apparently he thought I was saying something about his and Amanda's relationship. We got into a fight and I ended up calling him a child after I got so fed up wth him not talking to me about his problems with me. He told me to F* off and so I told him the same and haven't talked to him since. Grrr. But I called Amanda and we talked and I made sure, before he geeked out about me to her, that she knew what was really going on. Then I had work that day and that was fun. Although, we were informed that we were not going to OA that day in Chorus. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOOOO! I was so mad, Oliver Ames is the greatest show choir festival EVER and Abington withdrew! I was so pissed that Clark and I didn't get a weekend together dancing our butts off. Although, now I get to go to Newport, RI to hang out with Elizabeth Nunes, Valeri Merrill and Stephanie Beaousil (sp?) this weekend. And I get a date with Josh tonight. We get my brother's house ot ourselves after the kids go to bed. Watching a movie with no parents to dictate how we cuddle. YAY! I am so happy. I train for courtisy booth today at work with Jamie. SO work is gonna be awesome. I can't wait. Today, righrt before first lunch, we were called down to the gymnasium in a "bomb shelter evacuation drill". We were down there for an hour. Apparently, someone saw some white powder on a stairwell and we had an anthrax scare! HA! Why would there ever be Anthrax at ABINGTON HIGH?! We were all laughing at it and maybe that's not the best, but it was really funny. So, anyway, we were pulled out of 5th period for powdered donut on the stairs. That's the general conclusion, at least. But there was a HAZMAT team here and there was a section of the school that was sealed off by the fire department. It was great. And my 6th period teacher isn't here so we are in this awesome classroom with computers and I was the first one in the room so I got one. Yay. So that is my 85 thousand line review of this week. Love ya'll! Tammi Current Mood: high Current Music: Garytt singing beside me (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 4th, 2001
2:01 pm	Hey guys, This week has certainly been an interesting one. Monday Max sent me an email that said simply "Okay, last night sucked. Maybe at the next SYA we can talk and you can give me back my stuff." I wrote him back telling him I gave him back his stuff and I wouldn't be at the next SYA. I wish he would just take a hint. I don't want to talk to him anymore. He bothers me in too many ways. Reminds me too much of my ex. Reminds me too much of what I hate in myself. Its so creepy. I feel horrible that I had to hurt him, but I need to protect myself, right? I have to do what's right for me. Now, if I could only feel good about that. Then school just sucked. I was late two days, out one whole day. I have felt like crap this whole week. I have started randomly shaking when I am at work. Its so weird. Kind of creepy. I do it at home, sometimes, too. Ack. I have no idea what is wrong with me, guys. I wish I could just get healthy. My house is freezing. There are so many holes in it from new windows that aren't framed yet. I hate home. I like getting out as much as possible. I need a car so bad. I didn't end up getting that other car because I couldn't drive it very easily. I am not comfortable with getting a standard for my first car. I felt so good about it, too, maybe I am making a mistake. I don't know. I guess I just don't trust answers to prayer. I don't trust that I can interpret revalation correctly. Josh and I hung out this weekend. Then Jamie and Pete came over, Friday night after they got off from. That was cool. Josh helped my mom and I bring in the groceries, then we ordered pizza and Jamie and Pete brought a movie over and we watched that. I love snuggling with Josh, he is the cutest ever. But then Jamie jumped on top of us and I was so confused, as was Pete, but it was funny. Saturday Josh came over and made cookies with me. Yay, that was fun. My dad let me take the car to the grocery store too! WHOA! I am not on the insurance so I was amazed he let me do that. Then as I was driving, I realized I forgot my license at my house!!! CRAP! LoL But it was okay and I got the sugar and it was okay. Phew. Then today my parents didn't wake me up until too late for me to get ready for church on time. So I missed Sacrament and Sunday School, but Rebecca Tucker was pissed I wasn't there and came and got me. LoL. So I got to go to Young Women's which had a really good lesson. Then I get out to the car and my parens were fighting about the house, again. All these repairs and crap are driving my mom nuts. She ends up flipping out on m dad and then there was silence, and I was in a really good mood so I pipe up in this cheery voice "SO! How was church today?!" LoL I am such a brat. But then I called Josh to drown them out and we talked for a half hour, then he had to go cause Amanda's family was taking him out to eat. I couldn't go of course, cause it is Sunday. Oh well. I was gonna see if my friend Josh could come get me, but he isn't answering his cell phone. Oh well. So now I am contemplating stuff. I have my head phones on to drown out my house and the world around me listening to Michael McLean. Its just making me depressed. I want to find myself so bad, but I seek for pefection and when I fail to obtain perfection, I give up completely. I am feeling so fat again, I need to start working out again. Blah. I keep looking at people like Britney Spears who have such amazing bodies and I want something like that! Grrrr. But its so hard to not eat junk food cause there is so much of it in my house and stuff. I hate that. I think I am going to go take a walk and go think for a while. Talk to ya. Tammi Current Mood: discontent Current Music: Micheal McLean- You're Not Alone (Comment on this)
Monday, October 29th, 2001
8:54 am	Life Rolls On Hey guys! Last night was the fireside. I was going to give Max back his CD, rings and hat, and I had it in a bag, but I couldn't even approach him. I was freaking out at first anywayss because I was aftaid of meeting him when I was alone. I wass really scared of seeing him and not knowing what to say and stuff. So during the meeting, I was sitting in between Clark and Tahra, then there was Jason, James, Britton on one side and Bethany and a couple other kids I didn't know very well. Good times. We really didn't pay too good attention and I felt bad cause we were in the SECOND ROW! LoL Anyways, I looked around and Max was STARING AT ME! CREEPY! So after that, I couldn't even talk to him. I tried to, but I ended up having a panic attack and had to leave and be alone. I gave the bag to Becca. Sorry for putting you in that situation, girlie. I was talking to Catie about this and she was so intuitive! She told me it was my guilt because I am so happy and he isn't. I am so glad to be out of that relationship, though. I am soooo much happier now and feel so much better about myself. So then I left and called Jamie and had an awesome conversation. Love that girl. Then I went online and my Josh-Josh called me and I was so happy cause I hadn't talked to him all day! But Amanda was there too, and she was really mad about Brian and stuff that had happened at the dance. The poor thing got ditched by her b/f. So I talked to her and then Josh told me he would call back, which he did. I talked to him once more after that when they called on their way home, but they woke me up which surprised me because I usually don't fall asleep before 12. Of course, that was sort of like 12 for me because of day light savings and its like jet lag. :o) LoL Then I came to school and we were told first period that we might not get senior reception because every body was drunk. My prinicipal was sooo pissed she was shaking! Ack! So I am nervous about that. At least I have Rockland's senior prom. Hee hee. So the whole school is in uproar trashing the faculty, etc. Good stuff. Well, gotta go, the bell is gonna ring! Bye! Current Mood: nervous (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 28th, 2001
8:43 pm	Homecoming Hey guys! Apparently there are a million people reading this thing. Welcome to my world, hope you all are cool with what I have to say. If not, oh well, its not your life anyway. :o) Homecoming weekend was this weekend! WHAT A RUSH! I sang the anthem at the game for the last time ever as a student of Abington High School. Wow, how depressing. This other chick Jen is singing for Thanksgiving. I really wanted to, but its all good, I got to sing an extra game anyway. But JOsh was tehre to hear me and it was a better performance than the last one. Then we stayed and watched the band during half time. Abington's band KICKS BUTT! I am so proud of them all. Wish I was in it still, I miss Marching Band so much. I just don't have my life to devout to it. Then after half time, Josh and I went back to his house. But not before we checked out this car on a local garage lot that is for sale. I hope I can get it! Its a Geo Prism, 1991, standard. :o) YAY. Good lookin' little car. At Josh's we watched a movie and wait for over an hour for our pizza. The guy went to the wrong house! Then I tried to get it for free and he wouldn't give it to me for free so I didn't tip him. Ha. The Jerk. So then the next day was Saturday and it was Homecoming dance. Yay. Had to work 12-3, then I rushed home and got ready. Then Amanda came over at 5 and I did her hair and make-up. By 6:15 I was running late and went to Jamie's and met up with Jamie, Julie and Amy. I did Julie's hair. (Both came out awesome, hee hee...) Josh came over about 15 minutes after that and brought me a long stemmed rose. The sweetheart. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Then into the cars and off to Amy's grandfather's to get more pictures. Then to the dance, finally. I got mauled by like 5 color guard girls. It was so funny! Poor Josh was like, uh... :o) But the dance got rollin' and I went crazy. I was dancing with everybody! Josh and I went to go get professional pics and the picture guys were bored. So they were joking with us. He asked us which way we wanted to stand and I said facing eachother and then he posed us and I asked if I could lean on Josh's chest and he said yeah, So Josh and I have the cutest pic. :o) Yay. It was such a blast and I had so much fun. Of course, 60 kids got arrested for being drunk. Including 3/4 of the football team if not all. We had a chance at getting to the superbowl, seeing as how we are 7-0 this year, but now I don't know what will happen. That sucks. As do most people. Then Jamie, Josh, Pete and I went back to my house. We got some chinese food and watched Hercules and then tv for the last hour. Josh and I were snuggling on the couch and Jamie and Pete got the chair. :o) Way cute. Love them. It was the greatest night of my life, well, one of them! Love it! Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)