Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mike's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, June 29th, 2002
4:08 pm	So maybe things will even out after all.... Current Mood: blah Current Music: none. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 1st, 2002
3:20 am	I should update more. I started work on the 30th. I trained for a few hours and learned that I get to fill out 8-page bubble sheets for the rest of the summer. Woooo. Everybody loves bubble sheets..wait..no they don't. Well, at any rate, I get paid pretty well and the work's not too hard. My aunt and I are both working, and we're supposed to get 20 hours of bubble time a week (on average) at the Federal Probation Office. Enough about work (hehehe, it's so funny to say that again!)...other things are happening. I don't cry often. I played tennis with people tonight. Hmmm... that implies that we actually played tennis. I hit tennis balls in the company of other people who also hit tennis balls tonight. It was very entertaining and nobody got hurt, so I proclaim it a success. We had a decent turnout, around nine or ten (not at the same time) and managed to interfere with multiple games of real tennis. Fun stuff. After that, I went to see "The Sum of All Fears." I recommend it to any Tom Clancy fans (but not Clancy addicts...the movie didn't stick to the book very well). After that I went to Sarah's. Sigh....it's wonderful spending time with her. I'll save those thoughts for when I'm in a more creative-writing-type mood. Comments of the HTML variety (in LJ) are interesting things. I got an insane amount of gatorade for graduation. I also got an insane amount of money. I think my surroundings may be a bad influence on me. My mom and I talk less these days. My dad and I talk very little, too. I didn't think that the communiation within the family could deteriorate much from the point that I wrote about in my multi-genre paper, but I was wrong. My dad and I talk for an hour once a week. It's not a conversation-packed hour: he picks me up or I pick him up, we go out to eat, we go home. My mom and I hardly see each other because I'm doing stuff with friends (mostly Sarah) many nights and I wake up after she goes to work in the mornings. I'm thinking about trying to strike up a conversation with Kitty, but it might take me a couple more days to get that desperate. In the mean time, I need to sleep, write thank you's, update journals, and so on and so forth. :-) Current Mood: creative Current Music: None (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 21st, 2002
11:03 pm	I need problems. I can't help but compare the relationships I've had because I've only really had two. Yeah, there was that one like a year ago, but that was all weird and non-relationship-like. So yup, two so far gives rise to comparisons before I realize what I'm doing. I like this one more, there's no question. I'm happy constantly, none of this emotional rollercoaster garbage that leaves me feeling on top of the world one hour and down at the bottom the next. Instead, I'm on top all the time, gazing across the other faces that bob in and out of view. Ending it...having so many things from the past few months go away...will be hard. So hard... It's going to be hard not getting track three stuck in my head again. I need to reread that stuff..anyway, enough talking to myself. It was fake before. That was the problem. Too many repetitions made it lose meaning, made me forget, made me a robot...was that it? Or is that just me thinking that this is better? Before I didn't even know what it was because it wasn't like this and this is so much better because it's so right, it's that feeling of happiness every time I walk down the hall instead of occasional dread and occasional doubt and now things are going so well and couldn't be much better... except for him, he's causing problems. Because I know he's right. I don't want him to be right...bleh. I don't say silly much anymore. I used to use it to lighten the mood. It kept me happy by reminding me that most things don't matter. They're just silly parts of our silly world. I'll be fine. Yeah, you know what I mean, I'll be fine. Don't worry. You can ask, I guess, but I don't know if I'll remember what it all means. Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: "Jaime" by Weezer (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 30th, 2002
12:09 am	Welcome to Cresco Escape. This journal is all about the escape. So is Cresco, at least from my perspective (at this point). As you (the only local reader) already know, my dad moved out today. I was expecting it, it went normally, no surprises. And yet...it's...emotional. It doesn't feel like it should be, but it is. And here in Cresco, I don't have to think about it. Yet. I use this to escape from reality -- it's like my video game sometimes. When I'm down, I come here to escape the realization that my life is good (see early entries). When I'm happy, I come here to escape the realization that my life isn't perfect in the traditional sense (see the Sarah-based entry). I come to escape the every day repetition, people, anything, everything. Almost no one reads this -- only one that I see regularly -- and I'd trust her to read pretty much anything I'd think to write, so...yup. LiveJournal's my escape. But I need and want to think about it, so here goes... I think that things are mostly done sinking in now. My dad is gone, he's not coming back, he doesn't like my mom, they won't fall in love again, it's over, there's no hope, and everything else has been processed fully. I've accepted it all, but I have no clue what to make of it. I don't know what to take from it, what I learned, what mistake was made that I won't repeat. When bad things happen, I consider them learning opportunities. When bad things happen, I try to find the mistake/error and avoid it in the future. So far, I have no clue what I'm supposed to take. I don't know where things went wrong. I don't know how to avoid it. So far, it's not a positive event. Everything that has happened in my life has been positive in some way. The cliche of "live and learn" has applied beautifully. I feel certain this situation will not continue to be an exception, but right now, I don't know what is positive. I think that is what I need to figure out to be comfortable with the situation as a whole. My parents will be happier. Is that true? Were they really that unhappy? Their emotions tended to dwell near a middling emotion; neither of them ever showed much happiness or sadness. Occasional bursts of anger are normal, and weren't generally caused by the spouse. I think the lack of... well... fighting.. is causing me the problem, here. I didn't see much that would give me reason to divorce. My parents hid whatever went on, I'm sure (who knew that they went to counseling when I was in elementary school? certainly not me..). The only problems that I've seen have been in the last three weeks or so -- after I finished my multigenre paper, before today. Before the divorce process started, I saw nothing that was what I'd consider a reason to get divorced. I need to think more now. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "Want Ad" -- MxPx (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 28th, 2002
4:33 pm	I have too much time, too little thinking. It's weird how my mood changes...an argument makes me scared, then kinda depressed in comparison to my previous mood, making me more vulnerable to other stuff, which in turn makes me even less happy. Then, of course, I return to my former happiness. And Kitty sits on my lap. I have decided that I signed up for the wrong PE class. I don't really like any of the units I'm doing. I don't really have any friends in the class. I don't really want to be in the class. I sit in the ELP room with MJ staring over my shoulder until a minute before class starts so that I can minimize my time in the evil weight room, minimize my contact with my classmates, and make the end of the class come that much sooner. Plus, PE breaks up what would be a beautiful break: on orange days, I have three straight study halls. It would be awesome..except that it's not the best timing. I have to go to physics right before them. I really, really should've gotten my schedule fixed nicely at the beginning of the semester so I had PE 2nd hour. Then I'd have a different class, blocks of study halls, and even more time! Hehe...I guess I shouldn't complain about it, because I haven't had to do homework at home for quite a while now...except for writing an essay, I've lost all study habits. And that is why I need a study partner...:-) Good thing I can trust Sarah to keep me in line! Otherwise I might actually get rid of this senioritis! We'd hate that, I'm sure...silly senioritis... Current Mood: dorky Current Music: "Down in Flames" -- Relient K (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 26th, 2002
3:30 pm	I'm so happy...I don't really know what to write about -- I have no complaints, problems, anything..I might have to start making this journal more positive. It might not be the "depressed, unhappy, come-to-this-when-I'm-down-cos-nobody-reads-it" journal. :-) I like Sarah more and more. Every time I see her, I like her more...and whenever I'm not with her, I wish that I were. I could go on for a while..but at this point in time, I think I won't. It seems like things are going a little fast -- I like them the way they are, don't get me wrong -- but..we've only actually been going out a few days. Maybe if I talk to her about the relationship then I'll expand on it. Sigh....:-) Current Mood: happy Current Music: "Maybe it's Maybeline" -- Relient K (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, March 22nd, 2002
9:51 am	Hola, GuidoPaco How ironic: the very day that I return to "painting" (as the AP Euro study group called it), I go to an art show...haha! I am quite happy. Sarah got back yesterday. She came over for a while and we watched The Wizard of Oz because I'd never seen it before. Then we talked for a while....good stuff. I think I'm going to Iowa City today, so this may be my only update for the day (applying to all journals/diaries, I mean, not just this one). I could be wrong, though. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: "Lonesome Town" -- MxPx (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 21st, 2002
2:03 am	Woooo...fun times. I went to MJ's yesterday for several hours. MJ, "Alf" and I played cards for a few hours. Then I went to Yake's with Ian. It was fun. Yake was crazier than I remember him. Ian was his crazy self. I was quiet. That was yesterday. Today I showered, ate, went to the Science Center with Loafs, saw Yake, and built with K'nex. It made my fingers sore. It reminded me of when my knuckles were sore from grabbing a pillow too much...sigh. Later, my dad told me I'm not much of a planner and I'm more self-centered than him. It kinda hurt. I don't consider myself self-centered, exactly....if there were any other people around, I'm sure that I'd give them some attention. It's hard to do that, though, when my parents both work about 10 hours a day and sleep for 8. Those remaining six tend to be when I'm out with friends, because believe it or not, Dad, I don't enjoy spending all 16 of my waking hours sitting at home. And that is my take on that. I think that in social situations I may become more decisive. The fact that I'm not being decisive about my future decisiveness is somewhat unsettling, but if I decide to be decisive then I'll be able to fulfill my decision (to be decisive, that is). We spend more time talking about what to do than actually doing it sometimes -- and that is what makes me tired of the indecisiveness. Even if it isn't the "best" decision, any decision has the potential to be better than discussing what to do. Silly people..... Being with a group of mostly males can be entertaining. The past few days I've been doing that, and it has served as an interesting contrast. There is a constant desire to have a destination, purpose, or activity. That is a major reason for the indecisiveness. Activities are good sometimes, but many of my best (and most lasting) social memories are those that don't have a purpose. They're the throat-vacuums, the conversations that lead to truth or truth, and the talking that lets me get to know a person. Rarely do we ever say, "Let's just sit and not have an activity." I like those times, and apparently I'm abnormal in that respect. I think that I enjoy watching interaction more than others, and getting distracted by activities doesn't let me do that as much. I'm not really sure how my friends feel about smaller-group activities -- having just two, maybe three people doing something (or not doing something) would probably be my preference for at least some social stuff. Instead, it seems like everything is a crowd these days, leading to indecision and looser ties. As I said before, people are silly. I, the non-planner, would prefer to have some deeper relationships that will endure over time than the simple activity-based relationships that seem to be developing now. Deeper relationships could help so much -- I know that, say, Chris could be helped, that I could be someone that he spills his guts to. (I used to be one of those people.) Silly self-centered me. Heh...:-) I watched "The Matrix" tonight. I'd never seen it before. Now I wish that I'd watched it earlier -- both in terms of my life and the day. It will undoubtedly induce thinking. A few hours before now would be a better time for that. Right around the time when Lindsay IM'd me (silly Lindsay) -- this, after I called her four times earlier in the evening and didn't reach her...:-) Hard for me to follow through on her offer to get together and/or do stuff if I can't reach her by phone and she's not online. And now, I must be going...I'd like to be rested because tomorrow's going to be a great day. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Broken Bones (album) -- MxPx (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 17th, 2002
7:10 pm	I want her to be back now It's only been a couple days, but it seems like so much more...the days have just dragged on. I miss her already, but I'm not even halfway there. On top of all that, we've hardly even begun. I don't know where it will go or anything about the future. I do know that I miss her....four more days. Only four more days... Maybe I should consider getting a life in the meantime. I feel so lazy for not doing anything in the last 3 days! I've accomplished almost nothing. It's been quite a break, though. I might have to start doing stuff tomorrow so as to have lots of time later. I think some planning for the week is in order... Four more days... Current Mood: anxious Current Music: "Time Brings Change" -- MxPx (Comment on this)
Friday, March 15th, 2002
12:19 am	I was wrong. Sometimes it's nice being wrong. This was one of those times.... I'm ecstatic. There's a two-week span (more, really..), that I think will be among the best ever. It started a little under a week ago, and it'll end in about a week and a half. Ideally, it will be filled with a sampling of the things that are important to me: Start off with a church retreat, shift to school for a couple days (4 tests, lotsa homework), toss in the breakup with Allie, and follow that with my newfound attraction -- a week of activities and events. The second week hasn't actually started yet, but I'm expecting plenty of time with God, lots of time with friends, maybe some time with parents -- a little over a week to improve relationships. I hope to be successful in these two weeks. If I am, then I think it will mark some kind of turning point. I'm not sure what, yet, but...something is there. I've sensed a subtle shift in my attitude of late, and haven't spent much time thinking about it. I'm guessing that it's a result of my thinking, my realization that, "hey, I'm not too happy...maybe I should fix that instead of reverting even more into my junior high to early high school self..." I think...just maybe...I'm tired of being so complacent so much. Maybe I'm getting tired of being indifferent. Maybe I won't put up with as much. These are all just speculations, but I hope to get it worked out in the next week. (Note: My attitude has made a drastic shift of late, and it seems like the earlier shift has been replaced by this really really happy feeling...) If this were an online conversation, I would start getting nostalgic and reflective, thinking about my shifting perspective as I've grown up. I thought about that a few days ago...I forget exactly when...but while riding in a car, I realized the kid I was in elementary school would be happy with who I am now. Self-acceptance is a nice feeling...not one I think about often, but worth the time when I do. Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: "God is God" -- SCC (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 13th, 2002
11:13 pm	Thanks to Jack... So which letter of the alphabet matches YOUR personality, huh? J and K were a little lower down, at 5ish...just so ya know. Current Mood: dorky Current Music: "I will not go quietly" -- SCC (1 Comment |Comment on this)
10:42 pm	....Continued.... Good stuff, that talking...I enjoy it. Thinking's good, too. I should do more of it. Not to say that I will...but oh well. Large animals (slightly smaller than elephants, but in that catgory...) are silly. My silly moral standards are the reason that nothing is going on, I believe...they force me to think things through before saying them, that whole filtering business (which I could explain at length, but...I won't here). Anyway...if I continue I will make even less sense (meaning that I will stop now). I'm going to start using names in this, hardly anybody that I know reads it and the few who do are close enough that they get what I mean most of the time anyway..so..yeah. here goes. Things with Allie tonight were pretty good. She was "in charge" at footsteps and I didn't really talk with her that much, but I think that things will be OK (for those in the dark, I broke up with her -- that's what the entry from the 11th was about). She realizes that being friends will be good. I think that means that we're really done, the loose ends are tied up, and I am really single again (wow, it sounds so weird to say "again"...anyway). I don't think I'll look for anyone quite yet, it seems a bit soon. I should probably give it some time...maybe eight days. Eight is just a random number, of course...it has noooo significance at all... nope... not a bit... none...heh. :-) Anyway...I'm gonna go to bed before the filter gets clogged and starts spewing out information that builds up behind it. Right now probably isn't the best time for that...maybe in eight days...haha! just kidding, it'll be nine. Current Mood: content Current Music: "The Happy Song" -- Delirious (Comment on this)
5:39 pm	Whew... I approached the person of the last entry, talked, things are surprisingly (almost amazingly) good. Everything, I think, is finalized on the issue. And my 4 tests are over with. And spring break is coming up. Everything is over...almost. There's one thing that hasn't quite started yet and I'm not sure how to start it. I'm pretty sure that I have to be the one that makes the first move, because Sarah already told me all that I really expect she will. I'm talking about Habitat for Humanity, of course...it should be fun stuff if I remember to ask about the meeting that I missed today. I missed the meeting because I had a counseling session with my mom and this lady I don't know. I didn't really talk much, which was almost (but not quite) ironic...my mom signed me up for my benefit. My mom talked most of the time about her history with my dad, and it really was beneficial, thereby defeating the irony. It was good, I think, but I doubt that counseling sessions without my mom will do as much. I'm just not screwed up enough to get much benefit, I think. The counselor was stunned by my GPA ("A 3.9? That's 'pretty good'?? I wonder what good is!" "I could be getting well over 4...") and seemed surprised when I said that I had friends and my mom said that I was a good kid. I got the impression that I'm a bit different than her standard patient. My greatest concern for myself is my emotional detachment... but I do have emotions, I'm not always detached, and I'm introspective enough to know about myself and my emotions. So really, it's not that big an issue. Anyway... Back to that first paragraph...I didn't just mean habitat. I would guess that I won't really get a chance to start that new.. um.. thing.. for a week or so, and since I won't be doing anything else for the next week I won't start worrying about it now. The time will come for some action...and if things go well, that time will be very soon. I'm looking forward to it... This peasant's gonna go eat supper now. Current Mood: relieved Current Music: "Those words are not enough" -- Relient K (Comment on this)
Monday, March 11th, 2002
6:12 pm	Blah.... How do things change so fast? I feel like thinking for hours on end is almost unfair, because everyone else gets so left behind. I've caught some people up, but...I don't know how to approach this one person. I don't want to, exactly...but I do. It's so confusing...I just want it to be tomorrow and have the math test gone, all these academic distractions out of my way. Spring break is soon. I'm looking forward to it in away...but not in another. Oh well...at least the last few days of it should be fun.... Current Mood: drained Current Music: None (Comment on this)
Friday, March 8th, 2002
4:12 pm	Why do I not write enough? I don't read enough, either. Maybe it's because I don't think when I read, it's an either/or kinda thing. My lack of thought could be directly related to my lack of input during discussions during Lang and Comp (today, however, my thought was keeping me out of the discussion..or debate, depending on how you saw it). I dislike conflict. If people kept calmer and thought through what they said a little more, maybe people would get along better...but who am I to start in on the issue of diplomacy? I am almost glad that mock trial is over. Almost. I am glad that we lost to the team we did, I just wish that it had been at state competition, in the final round, deciding who won the state championship. I think that scenario would be possible. But it didn't happen. Now it's all over and I can return my focus to God, homework, friends, and...oh yes, what else is that? My girlfriend? She's grounded. She has been for a while, will be for a while. I miss her terribly, but she picked a pretty good time to do it (the only time this year when I was truly focusing large amounts of my time on other things). Now that mock trial is over for my team, I will return to my inactive self. I think the loss should be made positive somehow. It is positive for the victors, which is a good start, but I can use it positively as well. I have more time now, maybe I'll start reading. Looking for a book to read for lang and comp (I need to stop procrastinating...), I noticed a library downstairs begging for my attention. I can give it that attention. I want to. There's even a possibility that I will. For now, I'll just go for Animal Farm by Orwell. Current Mood: mellow Current Music: Relient K (17 songs), SCC (26 songs) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 5th, 2002
4:04 pm	I wonder whether the correlation between my happiness and lack of introspection is direct -- is my lack of thought the cause of my happiness, the reverse, or neither? Are each independent of the other..? I almost never journal when I'm happy. I should. All those good times going undocumented while the bad times are published in multiple places..... It's odd, I must admit, that I don't take time to dwell in the good times. It gives me a better understanding of my pastors, who have all said something like, "People turn to God when things aren't going well, but we don't always remember to thank Him after He helps us back up." I should really take a step back when things are going well, as they are now. I'm busy, though -- is that why I don't reflect? I have a paper to write tonight/tomorrow, a church service to prepare (I'm in charge of Footsteps tomorrow), a math test thursday, physics test friday...Allie to talk to tonight... Allie is incredible. I love her. I miss her every day I don't see her. I could go on at length. I won't. I think the divorce hearing is Friday (I'm not completely sure). Still basically no talk about it around the house. The absence of communication has found yet another way to screw me over -- no material for my gender piece due Thursday. Just when I thought it was done beating the life out of my, bad communication spoils my plans once again...:-) Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Failure to Excommunicate" -- Relient K (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 19th, 2002
12:00 am	Deterioration of friendship is bad. I hate it when I go back on my word, and yet...I don't regret my final decision, just the original one. Silly me being too cooperative (initially) for silly MJ. This is an escape for me. Such an escape...this is a nice little dumping ground to get things off my chest...and this is me, I think. This represents my thoughts better than other places where I may store my ideas (it's not a 500-kb summary, it's not a 150-entry listing of surface problems, it's not flooded with self-induced-emotion poetry). Good stuff...if only I could get more of the positive me in here. I should probably think more about positive things rather than limiting my real thought to my problems. Sigh....Another thing to fix...:-) At least my life is incredibly awesome. Thanks for calling, Jack. I'd say that I'll call back, but I'll forget (so I won't make any promises). If you keep calling me, eventually I might actually talk for a while. :-) Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: "Down in Flames" -- Relient K (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 16th, 2002
5:03 pm	I hate it when I screw up So yeah, I don't talk enough. Sure, I can talk to Cahill for a couple hours at Border's (with only a couple pauses). I can talk to Bonwell and Mikey online about my parents' divorce. But I haven't talked to Allie like that. I haven't. It's not that I don't like her, trust her, anything like that. I can't formulate a justified reason. I can't. I've been trying for almost an entire day, ever since I talked to her last night (I listened more than I talked...as always). I want to open up, I want her to know me as well as any of my other friends....but...I don't act on that desire. I think...maybe...it's because she seems to have so little faith in our relationship. Things like, "I hope that we're still going out at Valentine's Day because [insert reason]!" don't help me much. I have absolutely no confidence in the relationship because I have no experience. The closest thing I had to a girlfriend before this (Lindsay, "The March Incident") was not quite...I don't know...it was unusual. It taught me little about how to handle a relationship, what to do in a relationship..anything like that. I'm afraid that Allie doesn't quite understand that, nor is she really aware of my somewhat voluntary closure from the world outside my friends. It's my fault, of course -- I haven't told her much. I feel awful for not being more talkative because my silence ends up making her feel as unsure about things as I feel. Two unsure people in a relationship probably isn't a good thing (but I don't really know, having no past experience, not even hearing about past experience like that). It's all cwaaaaaayyyyzy. It's interesting how I avoid serious topics by not being myself (I don't say "cwaaaaayyyyzy") but I don't have any real way to get back into them. Or into them to begin with. Maybe that's why I don't talk much. I think it's all about the Legos...yeah, that's right, cahill, it's all about the Legos. You may doubt me, Jack, but Legos played a much greater role than you might believe. I still have Legos in my room (and closet). They were on about 4 bookshelves downstairs until a couple months ago. And that, I believe, is how I will fix things. I hope I'm not just putting on a confident front...though even that is better than my silence. I got a B in Lang & Comp. That means my GPA went up for the first time in like 3 years. Woo. Know what? I would've been fine with a C. I never thought I'd say that...but I think I've outgrown worrying about grades (and most other things, too). :-) Current Mood: anxious Current Music: FIF - Dandelions (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 1st, 2002
1:02 pm	Two wrongs don't make a... Keep my focus, keep my cool, keep my head...that's what's going to pull me through this experience. With absolutely no clue what's going on, I don't even recognize mistakes when they're made by others or myself until they're pointed out. Does she know that I question everything I do with her? That I'm sure of nothing the first time I do it, from talking with her to hugging her? Does she really, truly realize that I'm not reciprocating her actions to be annoying but rather to figure out what the heck I'm doing? I don't think she does. All that fails to justify the compromising of basic beliefs. My experience has little to no bearing on my reaction: regardless of my past (or lack thereof) In this case, I shouldn't do anything that makes me uncomfortable. Too little, too late? I hope that things can be patched up. Talking in person would help. The twisted 1's and 0's sent over phone lines haven't helped things. I hope she's not mad...and not too disappointed. We both know that we both screwed up, but...can we both forgive each other and ourselves? I know I can forgive her. I hope she can forgive herself and me. But can I forgive myself for not completley preventing the situation -- or at least rectifying the situation sooner? Blah. Why does it all feel so removed and..unreal? Is it just me doubting myself without reason, or is it...more? Is there a real lack of emotional connection? I need to fix that. I need to talk more. I need to let her know that I need to talk more or it's going to eat away at me, burn me up and kill me from the inside. I can't continue with the surface interaction we have at present. That won't work for me. If it doesn't progress, my guilt might as well be an axe murderer. I pray that I get this all solved soon...I want to do the right thing. Happy new year. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: "Consume Me" -- dc talk (Comment on this)
Friday, December 28th, 2001
1:12 am	the office room is never cold with two computers and one or two people almost all the time, this room doesn't get cold. there's a vent about four feet from me spewing warm air with more consistency than I have in anything. my jaw is oscillating like a spring. I didn't just get life in general last night. I got declaration by scc as well...gotta, gotta, gotta love the scc. ::sigh::... my digital camera needs new batteries or something. it went haywire tonight. I was going to go to bed early tonight. everyone else had the same plan, so it's almost depressing to stay up. I didn't really talk with anyone thanks to my concern about my camera. silly me. why am I staying up, anyway? it's not helping me at all. I'm going to go to bed. p.s. austin looks like bill. Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: "Declaration" by Steven Curtis Chapman (Comment on this)