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Real entry coming soon... [13 Dec 2003|01:51pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Early November - Every Night's Another Story ] I stole this from anni_the_diva. I know very little about some of the people on my friends' list. Some people I know relatively well. I read your fic, or we have something else in common and we chat occasionally. Some of you I hardly know at all. Perhaps you lurk, for whatever reason. But you friended me and I thank you. But here's a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself. Any old thing at all. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: "Ah, there's so and so...she likes spinach." I'd love it if every single person who friended me would do this. Yes, even you people who I know really well. Then post this in your own journal. 21 spoke . speak?

[11 Dec 2003|08:53pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | The Get Up Kids - Long Goodnight ] I.O.U. One long, rambly entry... speak?

This is almost a nightmare... [10 Dec 2003|07:17am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | The Juliana Theory - White Days ] I can't make this as long and detailled as I would have liked to, because I've gotta leave for work soon, and I still have to put my shoes on and brush my teeth. The last time I wrote in here was Saturday afternoon, and a lot has happened since then. I've had quite an eventful week, so far. Most of it has been good things that have happened. I want to write a bit about last night, at lifegroup. We didn't do a study last night, which I was quite thankful for, 'cause my mind wasn't in the right place. We did a reflection on what we did and didn't like about the past year, but I couldn't say much, since I only started there a few weeks ago. Still, it was good. Afterwards, we swapped secret santa gifts. I had Gemma S. I wrapped her gift all nice like, even though it wasn't really a spectacular gift. (I heard on 98.5 yesterday morning that if you give people a nicely wrapped gift, they feel special no matter how great or.. not so great.. the gift may happen to be. Oooo :P) Danielle had me. She got me some gorgeous candles and a little notebook, and a photoframe. <3 it all. So pretty. After doing the Secret Santa thing, we played Spoons and just hung around for a while. As we were leaving, Tamara, Christine & I were talking by the front door, while Kodi, Mia, Hayley, and Renee walked around the corner to the car and were talking there for a while. We heard Renee scream what we thought was "TAMARA" and we assumed she was just being silly (we were wrong, she was calling me, as it turned out e_e). A few minutes later, Hayley came running around, looking though she'd seen a ghost, and told me that Mia was having a seizure. I have never been so scared. I'm so glad I read up on epilepsy, otherwise I wouldn't have had a clue what to do. The poor girl. ;__; She was quite cute though. I tried to roll her over into the recovery position, but she tried to roll herself all the way so she could be facing me. I yelled at her and she stopped. ^^ Hmm.. I'm tired, but I'm off to work. I'll write about Saturday through to last night a later today if I get the chance to (which I should) ^__^ 1 spoke . speak?

Ack. I meant to add this to the end of that previous post.. And I'm too lazy to edit.. [06 Dec 2003|04:05pm] You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and creativity, and usually are highly intelligent. Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs. What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla Pretty. ^__^ speak?

Healing comes so painfully, and it chills to the bone... [06 Dec 2003|04:04pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Plumb - Damaged ] I don't think I mentioned it in here anytime this week, but on Monday night, I put earrings in my ears for the first time in 18 months. The first one went in no problem. The second one hurt a bit. But all week, they've been more or less fine. Until today. Today, the second one decided to bleed. And throb. It hurts. x_o Esther's party is tonight. Its gonna be heaps of fun. She asked me to bring something sweet (Apparently, just bringing myself doesn't qualify XP), so rather than going out and buying something, I baked melting moments. o__O -I- baked 'em. Miss Disaster-in-the-Kitchen. XD I'm so proud of myself. I only had one casualty. I was spreading the icing/cream stuff on it and it crumbled. x_o; But yay! I made 'em from scratch too. This is a big event for me! They taste good! Woo! XD Last night at youth was good... Painful, but good. After youth, I dropped Skitty home so we could talk on the way back, but I dropped Kodi first, and showed Kristal my outfit for Christmas Dinner <3 And then we watched two episodes of Slayers. Mummy bought me the full first series as a belated birthday present, which makes Tara -very- happy XDXD Muh Zelgadiss. Mwah *___* <3 Hn. The party is going to be fun tonight. ^__^ I need to go check the water/oil/powersteering fluid in my car, and see if I can get it to stop making such horrible scary noises. Ja! speak?

[04 Dec 2003|09:35pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Antiskeptic - A.F.S. ] I'm very tired. Before I go to bed though, I'm gonna make a quick entry. Work was fun today. I spent nearly the whole afternoon putting decorations up in the office. Much fun XDXD After work, I went shopping. I finally managed to get my outfit for the Christmas Banquet. Nyohoho! I <3 it. I managed to get something that is nice enough to wear out, yet simple enough to wear to work. Woo! It was expensive, though. I got it at Cue. I somehow managed to score a $124.50 discount, too. XO I wanted to go check out the Bead Company but they close at 5pm every day. Grr. So, I'm gonna have to go up there sometime during the week, which sucks because its not exactly close to home, but its not far from work. x_o Hmm. I'm really so tired. I'm gonna go bed. Oyasumi, minna. 3 spoke . speak?

We lived a lifetime that night. Everything was so clear and plain to see. This is where I belong... [01 Dec 2003|08:09pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | Matchbook Romance - Hollywood And Vine ] What Makes You Sexy? by eva71 Name/NickName Gender Sexy Body Part Is Your Eyes Special Talents Are Looking Innocent Created with quill18's MemeGen! I'm amused. It actually fits, I guess. I dunno about the innocence thing, but I <3 my eyes. ^___^ speak?

If only I had one wish... [01 Dec 2003|07:48pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | The Ataris - Looking Back On Today (Acoustic) ] I haven't written in a few days now. The weekend has real fun. ^__^ On Saturday (the only day I get any chance to sleep in) I woke up at 7am. (>__<) I went shopping by myself, as I had planned to. I picked up my new frames, but I haven't got the new lenses yet. x__o;; And then Duncan smsed me and asked me to meet up with him in the city before JAFWA, and since I really didn't wanna go home and then go all the way back out to Bentley, and 'cause hanging out with Duncan is fun, I agreed. We ended up meeting at his house and then walking to a bus stop, which was good, 'cause my car is on the verge of dying (I'm getting it serviced this weekend). We had heaps of fun in the city. X3 We talked heaps. He was telling me that he and Matty J have been hanging out every second day. It was good to see him so happy. ^__^ OH! And Matty J isn't leaving so soon anymore! *bouncie* His parents are leaving in two weeks, but he's staying back for a couple of months. That makes me happy. Matty J, Matt M, Duncan and I are all keeping our eyes and ears open to catch rumors of any good punk shows coming up, so we can all go. Nyoho. It will be fun. ^__^ Sunday morning was Kidz Church. ARG. What a nightmare. Those kids just didn't want to sit still. I came home with a huge headache. I flopped on the floor for about ten minutes, and then my phone rang. I figured it'd be someone calling to tell me I'd forgotten something at Church, but it was Christine, inviting me to go to Melissa B's Body Shop party. So I went there in the afternoon, which was fun. My feet got super pampered. Mwahaha. After that I came home and acted in Mia's commercial for her. It was.. um.. an interesting experience. I'll put it that way, ne. ^^;; Kodi did a cartwheel, and I attempted one and totally killed my leg. Rofl. I can still do 'em though! XP We had fun. Church last night was real good. Great message, awesome worship. Then, afterwards, just about all the youth went bowling in Melville, which was lots of fun. I came third on our lane. I somehow managed to bowl two strikes. BWAHA! I used to suck at bowling, but both times that I've been this year (The other time was with Stampede in June or July or something) I did quite well. Weird. It was heaps of fun, but I had to leave kinda early, because I was very tired, and I had to work today.. And work was quite good today! Ixchel kept me busy with my filing and mailing the whole day, which was okay, because it meant I didn't have the chance to be bored. ^___^ It was a good day. 1 spoke . speak?

With accidents you'll never know what could have been.. [27 Nov 2003|09:37pm] [ mood | ....you can't tell? ] [ music | Motion City Soundtrack - My Favorite Accident ] Well. shortly after I posted my last entry in here, my day went downhill. And today seemed to just continue with that trend. Woo? I went to eat dinner last night, and after eating a third, I lost all appetite again, and it took me about half an hour to realise that Kodi and Mum had been talking about Dad. It always bothers me when he makes me lose it, but last night it really upset me. I just left the table and sat in my room. Mia followed me there, which really frustrated me. If I wanted to be around people, I would have stayed in the dining/lounge room. -_- After a while of not responding to her questions, she got the message and let me be. Why does he always have to win?! Its been seven months since I last had a conversation with him, yet he still manages to find his way into my every day life and destroy it. It makes me so mad. I was so tempted to drive around to his house last night and just scream at him. While sitting in my room last night, it suddenly occured to me that I've never had any real problems adjusting to not having a father any more. And if that wasn't a depressing thought alone, there was an afterthought. The reason I haven't had any trouble is that he was never around for me even when my parents were together. He never had time for me then. He totally ruined my day, and he also ruined my night. I so didn't want to go to lifegroup. I went, but I certainly didn't feel up to it. Tonight, I went "shopping" with Mia and Kodi. Mum asked me to pick up something for her. I wanted to get something to wear for the Christmas Dinner for youth. I got to look in one shop. The rest of the time was spent trying to find that thing for mum, and with Mia trying to select stationery for school. It made me so frustrated, somehow. Kodi and I both needed things, and we didn't get a chance to even seriously look for them. On Saturday, I'm going shopping. Alone. Geh. I'm just in a foul mood. I'm going to bed. Oyasumi. 1 spoke . speak?

[26 Nov 2003|06:31pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | The Ataris - Road Signs and Rock Songs ] Hn. Today was such a good day. I got to work.. and had nothing to do. Nothing at all. So I went and bugged Sarah, and she gave me some data entry to do. Woo. I don't like data entry, but it was something. And then some people came and kicked me out of her office, because they needed to talk with her. So I went back to reception and floated around. And the Ixchel showed me how to do quotes and pricing lists and the like. Sweet. So I did some of them for her. And then I did manifests. Considering all I'm meant to be doing is filing and answering phones, I'm pleased. I love my job. ^__^ Hmm.. I don't think I really have much to update about, other than that... Oh! Skitty and I have been doing a Matt count. I wanna post the tally. Mwaha (Sorry, Lizze!) These are all the Matts we know (that we can think of..) Matt H Matt J Matt K (x2) Matt M (x2) Matt N Matt O (x2) Matt P Matt R (x2) <- I just remembered another one, from primary school and/or Thornlie Church of Christ, bubs! XP;; Matt S Matt W (x2) That's fifteen! @___@ Geez.. o_O 7 spoke . speak?

Token angels in the sky... Take to the skies... [24 Nov 2003|10:07pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Wendy Matthews - Token Angels ] Well. I just got back from lifegroup. Nathan made my head hurt. It was -so- good. It seriously left my head spinning. Election makes for interesting Theological discussions. Ah, my head. *___* It was brilliant, though! I love the deeper things of God. I love the surface, also, but the deeper stuff just gets me thinking, and leaves me amazed. So good. ^___^ I'm gonna go sit in bed and let my thoughts wander very soon. I'm trying to come to my own conclusion on the matter. I just keep going around in circles in my mind though. If anyone's curious to know what it is I'm going on about, ask! I'll give you some information, but I can't give a solution. You'll have to find your own. ^^;; Hmm. Oh! I lost my WWJD bracelet today. (Note: Bracelet, not wrist band. Its a silver one that Bobbie gave me when I was baptized! ^_^) I was quite distraught, because I couldn't find it anywhere. But then Ixchel had this idea to call up Kurnall Lunch Bar (the place I go to get lunch), so I looked 'em up and called 'em and the guy said they'd found it. And I got there and I told the woman that I'd come to claim it, and she was like "We don't have a bracelet.." And I had to explain it all, and she still didn't get it, so I just asked to speak to the guy and I got it back! Tara was much relieved. Also! I was in a rush to get to the lunch bar again, so I forgot to grab my discman from my drawer, so I put the radio on, and I was just flicking through stations and I got to Triple J and they were playing Finch's Letters To You. o____o! I only got the end of it though. But I decided to listen a little longer, and then I switched. And on the way back, I switched back to them, and they were playing Brand New. I'd never heard 'em before, but I like what I heard! XD I never knew Triple J played that kinda stuff. Sweetness. XD I'm so tired. Sleep for Tara. 2 spoke . speak?

[23 Nov 2003|07:57pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | The Early November - Something That Produces Results <3 ] How I love this song. I'm aching to get their album. I haven't even seen it here yet. Its been released in the US. I'm just.. waiting. Grr. Want. Last night was AWESOME! I got to JAFWA and Duncan wasn't there, so I figured he was running a bit late.. But it got to like 6:30 and he wasn't there, so I smsed him. He said that Cat had never told him what time it started. Baka Cat! But he said he refused to leave the house until after the rugby had finished. Lol. He said it'd finish about 7:00 so I was like "Cool, around the same time as the dinner break.." And then.. He messaged me to tell me that Matty J was over at his house, so I told him to invite Matt along, but he couldn't come, because he had to do something with his family.. Nyo. So I figured I wouldn't be able to see him. BUT! The JAFWA dinner break started like.. half an hour early, so I waited a while, and then got impatient and went early to go pick Duncan up, and Matty J was still there! So I just hung out at Duncan's house with him and Matty J and Duncan's family for an hour or so and watched the rugby and talked about music with Matt. Mwahaha. I'm so insanely jealous of all the bands he got to see. And his accent! o___O Matty J is meant to have an Aussie accent. Not Brittish. Weeeeird. So cool ^___^ I had most of my cds in the car, 'cause Kodi had taken her discman with us. So, I filled up one of the CD wallets with good cds and let Duncan and Matty borrow 'em. I dunno how many of 'em Matt already has, but.. *shrug* The thing that sucks is today, I've been craving Juliana Theory, and I gave them all three of my TJT cds. Baka. I've got the mp3s still, but that's not the same! Nyu. Ah! It was so good to see him again. He was kinda.. taller... than I'd remembered him. I knew he was tall.. I just forgot how tall. @__@; And the accent! It just didn't seem right coming from him. lol o_O; And watching the rugby was funny. Matty & I were cheering on England, while Duncan's whole family was cheering on Australia. And little Seth (Heather's 20-month-old son (Heather = Duncan's older sister))! He was running around the lounge room yelling "GO! GO! GOGOGOGO!!" So cute. XD It was fun. And England won. Mwahaha. Um. Yeah, then Duncan came back to JAFWA and it was good. After I got home, I was tired, but I stayed up drawing and scanning and fixing up drawings to submit to Nathan for the yearbook. I stayed up until 4am. Had to get up at 8am for Kidz. Suffice to say, I'm tired. Very tired. I was gonna put all my scans on a disk for Nath, but I couldn't find one, so I have to wait until tomorrow to give them to him anyway. And if I hadn't stayed up so late last night, there's a possibility that I would have been awake enough to work on them today. But, I'm not. I'm aching, and feeling stressed, and tired, and frustrated. Woo? I took Mia to the city today. We bought Kodi her birthday presents. XD I know that she'll adore them. Whee! I've been so good lately! I went to 78s today, and didn't buy a cd. It was so hard. I wanted to get Taking Back Sunday, but I resisted. Instead, I just got AP and left. Good Tara. I picked up the latest X-Press too, in order to check out whether there are any good punk-type bands around anytime soon, 'cause it'd be cool to take Matty J and Duncan and Matt M before Matty J has to leave again. The only semi-decent one mentioned is a Bodyjar + Thinktank show which is on Nov 28th. Which is this Friday, no da. Which means youth. Which means I can't go. GRAH. That would have been cool. I could've got a replacement for that pin of mine that I lost. =( Oh! That reminds me! I was looking at pins in the cabinet at 78s, and I looked up at the wall with all the stickers pinned on it and there was this very nice Dashboard t-shirt hanging there. Tara freaked out. It was too big, and $50. But I hugged it. =x Nyo. I want. *__* Back to the show thing. Aparently there was some awesome-sounding punk festival on in Joondalup today, but I didn't even know about it until I got on the train at 5:30pm. X_x; Oh! And Thursday is playing at the Big Day Out next year. I won't be going, but its still cool to know. :P We have a rental inspection tomorrow and I have no energy to tidy. I might have to nap, get up, clean, then sleep, 'cause I seriously don't have any energy. Dude. I ramble when I'm tired. Enough. Oyasumi, minna! 19 spoke . speak?

A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back." [22 Nov 2003|04:12pm] [ mood | emotional ] [ music | The Ataris - The Boys Of Summer ] MATTY J IS BACK FROM THE UK! *dances* Woo! I'm so excited about him being back. I can't wait to see him and talk to him and such. Its been a looong time. I didn't really know him very well at all before he left. And then we got to know each other via the internet, and now he's back, eleven months after he left. Nyonyo. But.. He's only back for about a month.. Then his parents are moving over to Queensland for five years and taking him with them. That -seriously- sucks. x_o But he's back! And I wanna see him! *bouncie* Duncan's coming to JAFWA tonight, apparently.. That's what Cat told me, but I'm waiting for him to respond to my SMS and tell me whether he is or not. I hope he comes. It'll be cool to see him. ^__^ I was actually hoping he'd come online sometime this afternoon, so that I could tell him to invite Matty J. But it doesn't look like that's gonna happen.. Maybe we'll be able to drop by his place during the dinner break or something. If I remember correctly, he lives in South Perth/Kensington, which isn't far from the uni at all. Nyoho. He's back! Hm.. I've been looking back through some old entries. So much has changed in my life over the past two years. I'm not the same Tara that I was back then.. But at the same time, I am. Its strange. Sometimes I miss being so unaware of what was going on - of life; of the world. But, at the same time, I wouldn't go back to who I was even if you paid me to. I'm better off this way, even though sometimes it is so hard to believe that.. I'm so emotional. I just keep reading these entries and crying and laughing and then crying again, and then both! I think I'm gonna stop reading them now before I exhaust myself. x_<; 2 spoke . speak?

Ow, ow, ow.. [17 Nov 2003|09:09pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Noise Ratchet - My Day ] I had a real cool weekend. XD Friday night was youth. Real good. Work destroys my sanity. Ask Kristal about that one. @_@ Shop didn't run as smoothely as I'd hoped it would, but it did okay, considering. MUST restock for this Friday. @__@;; Wai. Um. Oh! I registered for Planet Shakers (More about that in a minute...) Cool night, all around. Got to sleep about 3:30am. Arg. I was drawing. ^^;; Saturday morning, was awoken at about 9am by Mia moving in! Whee! She's nice. ^_^ In the afternoon, I went shopping, so that I could get Candace a birthday gift, and I brought Kodi and Mia along. It was fun! I also went and put my new frames (glasses) on laybuy (At the "Jeep Jeep! Place", Skitty! Whee!). I'm getting two pairs. Mwahaha. The first pair are black, thin-rimmed and real cool looking. The other pair are rimless. <3 I can't wait to get them. X3 Um. Candace's party was a lot of fun. I was real tired though and kept just drifting off to a dream-world, so I wasn't exactly overly-social. e_e; I had fun though, and I hope she did also. It seems that she did. =) After the party, Christine and I went for a little walk in Kings Park, which was nice. We just talked and such. I really enjoyed it. There were quite a few funny/fun moments. :P Hm.. Got home at 1:30am. Geh. SO tired. Had Kidz church yesterday morning. Ah. I had missed those kids so much. I can't wait to start work on the Christmas play. I'm in charge of publicity. Mwaha! That's gonna be so much fun. My group'll be making posters and flyers and such. XDXD Mia and Kodi went absailling yesterday morning with the people from the exchange program. Mia had a blast! She got -really- sunburnt though, and she's soooo sore. Poor thing. Kodi didn't seem to have quite so much fun.. =( Went to Church last night. Please excuse my lack of detail about this. The worship was good. Mm. ^^;;; We got home and I had absolutely no appetite, even though when we'd left, I was so hungry. Grr. I hate it sometimes... Um. And today! Work was okay. Busy. I found out that I might not be able to go to Shakers (See, I told ya I'd mention it later!)... I asked Ixchel when she's taking her holiday. She said Jan 5 to Jan 9. Shakers is Jan 7 to Jan 10. GRAH! The thing is.. While Ishy is gone, I have to do her job for her. And vice-versa. So I'm being trained to do the manifests and invoicing and such so that I can do it while she's on holiday. So, I can't be gone the same time that she is.. But.. She said she might try look into swapping her holiday until the next week. I said if worst comes to worst, I'll have to just go to doing evening meetings only. Which, frankly, sucks. Kodi is relying upon we to get her there for each day. I've been put down to help out in some way or another at the conferrence. GRAH. I want to go. I need to go. =( Oh! Mia has a guitar. Like. A proper sized, steel-string one. She's letting me play it whenever I want (so long as she's not playing). Since Saturday, I've played each day. This is a big achievement for me! It hurts though (Hense the subject.) Nyonyo! It sounds so much prettier than my guitar. And now.. I'm real tired, so I'm going to sleep! XO Oh. One more thing. I miss you guys. =( I haven't spoken to anyone much since last weekend.. I hope you've all been well. Take care of yourselves, and I hope to catch up with you all, soon! Nyo. ;___; speak?

[14 Nov 2003|06:59am] [ mood | awake ] Well. I think its time to update on how my week has been so far, ne? Lunch times are officially the most frustrating, irritating time of my day. Yesterday, I went to Subway. I told Ixchel (pronounced Ichelle (like Michelle, without the M)) I'd be going to Belmont Forum to get it, and she told me it'd be quicker to go to Maddington, straight down Roe Hwy, because of the horrible traffic on Welshpool/Orrong Rds. WELL. I went to Maddington. And. They didn't have EFTPOS. GRAH! So, I figured I'd go to Metro Maddington and use an ATM to get some cash out. But the traffic lights had the little "no right turn" light flashing. GRAHRAH! So.. I decided to go to Gosnells, instead. And guess what? No EFTPOS. GRAHRAHRAH! So, I had to go back down Albany Hwy and get some cash out, and go back. And finally get food. My 20 minute trip ended up taking 45 minutes. It would have been quicker to go to Belmont. >_o But if you don't include lunch, work has been pretty cool! Ishy is quite impressed with the speed I've been getting the filing up to date. She gave me extra tasks! Woo! Variation! Lol. Actually, its just mailing, and more filing, but at least its a tiny bit different than what I was doing before. Yesterday, I folded 171 invoices and statements and put them all in envelopes. I ran out of stamps on Wednesday (Ish told me I'm not meant to eat them. :P) and she forgot to buy more for yesterday. Hopefully, she's got some for today, because my desk drawer is quickly being filled by letters. o_o; We're gonna be doing Secret Santas. This could be difficult. I hope I get either Ish, Sarah, or Brett, because I have no idea what I'd get for anyone else. o__o Sarah, it'd be white chocolate (she -adores- the stuff). Brett, it'd be some sort of accessory for his car (he's obsessed with it). And Ish, it'd be an assortment of stationery stuff, because she seems to love collecting it. :P Gah. I've gotta go! Have a good day everyone. 4 spoke . speak?

I don't have bruises I can show.. Scars from abuse without a blow... [11 Nov 2003|10:45pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | The Get Up Kids - Grunge Pig ] So. Today was good. Work was good. Lunch was BAD. I'm so not going to that lunchbar again. x_o It was a real busy day. The longest I got to sit and relax was during the one minute silence for Memorial Day. @__@ It was still good though. I'm just.. tired. ^^; I came home this evening, and.. well.. to cut it short, my mood/emotions went a bit like this: Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. Sad. Sympathetic. Angry. GRAAAAAAAAAAH! (<---frustration) But, then I went and visited Tam & Christine's lifegroup, which I'm pleased to say was really good. XD I really enjoyed myself. ^__^ But now I'm exhausted, and I need to go get sleep. Oyasumi. ^^; speak?

[10 Nov 2003|06:14pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Ultimate Fakebook - A Million Hearts ] G# minor - You are not totally happy, and you know it. At least you are trying to do something about it. You like to think and create to try and sort out your problems. Keep going the way you are, and you will soon be on speaking terms with your demons. what key signature are you? brought to you by Quizilla Ooh! One of my favorites. X3 Okay. Today was a good day! *sings* I didn't even have to use my AK! Sorry. Blame that one on The Ataris. :P Um. Yeah, work was okay. Its not exactly exciting stuff that I have to do, but its fun, and the people seem quite nice. ^___^ Lifegoop tonight. Yay! speak?

You're winning me over with everything you say.... You rip my heart right out... [09 Nov 2003|09:45pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Jimmy Eat World - Your House ] Today wasn't such a good day.. It had a few highlights, but generally not good. Mum and I were talking about Dad this morning. My feelings towards him still waiver between sadness, sympathy, and anger. Mum brought up an event that happened just before we moved out last year, involving my father, myself, and one heck of a boundary violation. It was what triggered me to start going to counselling. But... My mind had blocked it out. Strange, huh? When I think of blocked out memories, I tend to think of childhood memories.. This was just over a year ago! It upset me. A lot. I successfully supressed tears though. Then, a little later, mum and I got a bunch of boxes out of the shed and started going through them, trying to find my jewelery. We eventually found it. While we were searching, Mum & I continued talking. I mentioned the fact that I seem to have so very few childhood memories. The majority of the ones I have aren't very happy, and there are a few that aren't even real.. they're dreams, apparently, but they seem like memories, to me. Mum has told me that those events never happened though... =\ But, this made me sad again. Then, we began discussing old family friends, and I remembered another not so happy memory of a certain friend verbally abusing my brother and I, when I was about seven or eight. Then I found a piece of bubble wrap and just sat outside popping it for ages and thinking... And managed to supress tears. I found my bracelet, which was good. <33 I missed it. And I found my Great-Grandmother's little jewelery box, which was relieving. And I found the necklace Xayide made for me almost two years ago now! Hmm. Went to Church. A lady named Yvonne spoke. She's a member of the church and a missionary to South Africa! I found it quite amusing that she was speaking on the same night that I found my bracelet which Dad got for me in South Africa. I came home. Went to go eat.. But Jason and I had this huge argument, and I ate part of my meal... And finally let myself cry.. I went to my room and drew for a while, and sat and thought and such. And just came out and finished my dinner.. I'm looking forward to starting work tomorrow. 6 spoke . speak?

[08 Nov 2003|12:39am] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | The Frugals - Dear Ms. Something ] Woo! Thanks to Holly (aka dixiesweets02), I got the community (_heartfelt) all (well.. mostly...) set up! I have to do the community info stuff. And soon, I'll work at the colours a little more. But not now. I'm tired. It can wait a little while. Geh. I wish Skitty was online right now. I'd like to give her the information she needs for it. >_o; I guess that'll have to wait for now, also. ^^; Anyhoo! Ja! 1 spoke . speak?

[07 Nov 2003|05:46pm] Does anyone reading this have a spare code? Skitty & I are looking to start a community. ^_^;; 2 spoke . speak?

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