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Leading With The Left
The daily view from the oasis

April 12, 2004 PERMALINK
The Sunday Talkshow Breakdown
A weekly feature of LiberalOasis
(posted April 12 2 AM ET)

Dubya’s weak comments on the declassified PDB may be bigger news today, but the Sunday shows were more focused on the chaotic situation in Iraq.

Viceroy Paul Bremer’s hang-dog beaten-down mug, delivering a litany of non-answers on Fox News Sunday, NBC’s Meet The Press and ABC’s This Week, did little to rally support for the current strategy.

And the center-right Establishment, both Dem and GOP, cried out for the John Kerry solution: Internationalize It.

On This Week, Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME), Kerry adviser Rand Beers and even George Will (“If they want that mess, let them have it”) all called for the UN to take control of the political transition.

Leaving fellow panelist former Defense Policy Board Chair Richard Perle looking delusional as he insisted we stay the current course.

On CBS’ Face The Nation, Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) committed news (though it’s not clear at this writing if much media noticed), announcing France told him directly it would provide troops under NATO if the “the permanent five members” of the UN had control and a UN rep replaced Bremer.

Hearing that, Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS), who had been hewing fairly close to the Bush line, said he was “a little stunned” and:

If, in fact, that is the case and the president of France is certainly willing to do that, that is a real breakthrough, and… Joe certainly deserves a lot of credit for that.

Over at Fox, Sen. Dick Lugar didn’t go quite as far as explicitly backing UN control, but did say that as part of any June 30th handover of power:

U.N. Security Council resolutions have to cover all of this [the transfer of authority], so there's international legitimacy.

A great number of other countries have to be invited, strong diplomacy to get them in, difficult as that may be.

So it appears that the center-right internationalist voices are getting more Beltway attention than the hard Right voices saying the solution is more brute force.

Still, it’s hard to see how such increased pressure will substantively matter, since the Bushies are so fervently anti-UN.

But if Iraq continues to degrade and Bush continues to be stubborn, having a collection of bipartisan figures echoing Kerry’s vision will help Kerry make the case that there is a better way.

However, it would help Kerry more if Dems got a little coordinated and regularly cited Kerry’s “plan” or “vision” when discussing their Iraq views.

Biden is a particularly egregious case.

At least twice -- on the 3/21 This Week and to the 4/7 Wall Street Journal -- he has publicly called on Kerry to be more specific about his Iraq strategy.

Yet Biden’s main idea – internationalize it – is the same as Kerry’s.

And instead of going on TV to say Kerry has it right on Iraq, Biden goes on to say he’s right about Iraq, never mentioning Kerry’s name once.

Though it’s not just Biden who is being unhelpful.

Sen. Bill Nelson (D-FL), a veep wannabe no less, failed to work Kerry’s name in while discussing Iraq on CNN’s Late Edition.

And even Kerry’s own aide Rand Beers didn’t say “Kerry” once on This Week, as he sounded more like a pundit than a surrogate.

Kerry is being dinged for, as that WSJ piece said, not having “laid out a comprehensive plan for tackling Iraq.”

Which is silly, because he has offered as much as one could for one who is out of power and for such a highly fluid situation.

But Kerry can’t beat back the criticism if his allies, especially those with strong foreign policy cred, don’t carry some water for him.

The Sandbox
Humor Column by Mark Spittle

Osama Really Does Hate Freedom

We’ve heard the charge over and over: Al Qaeda and the terrorists “hate our freedoms.” This is why, the Bush administration says, they blew up the World Trade Center on September 11th.

A lot of skeptics on the Left point to the sheer vapid nature of that statement as evidence that Bush is clueless, or simply reliant on empty rhetoric to make his points.

Other progressives point to the Bush administration’s own hatred of freedoms --- like those of the democratically elected president of Haiti, for example --- to prove that Bush is pretty selective about which liberties he’s concerned with.

But in a shocking revelation, I uncovered actual proof that, in fact, Osama bin Laden really does hate freedom.

It’s not just goofy GOP rhetoric meant to puff up the patriotism of the ignorant, ill-mannered right-wing after all. It’s really true.

I sent a Freedom of Information Act Request to the Saudi Arabian government (you didn’t know they had a FOIA over there? Shame!) to release any information on their most notorious son, Osama bin Laden.

I was given a whole stack of stuff, mostly irrelevant documents about the bin Laden’s links to the Bush family, the Carlyle Group, John Major’s support for Osama, etc… -- you know, conspiracy theory stuff.

But one piece got my attention.

Back in 1963, a six-year old named Osama wrote a paper Mrs. Appletree’s second grade class at Al-Aqsa Boy’s School.

The paper was called “Why I Hate Freedom,” and here it is in its entirety. As you read this you will understand that Bush was right: Arabs really are a one-dimensional, simplistic and evil.

WHY I HATE FREEDOM
By Osama bin Laden

I hate freedom because it means people can do anything they want even bad things.

I think freedom is really bad especially like when the older kids bully me in the school yard.

Like the time Mordecai hit me with a rake and stole my milk money. If he didn’t have freedom then he wouldn’t get my milk money. Some day I’m going to get even with him.

Freedom also sucks at home.

I think if my mom didn’t have so much freedom she would never be able to spank me after I wet the bed.

If I ever become a world leader I will make sure moms don’t get no freedom.

My dad told me that in other countries they got lots of freedom and that’s why they are bad.

Like did you know that in the United States they got freedom to vote for Republicans? That is sick.

Some day I will become a world leader and blow them up just for that.

I hear they also got television in every house, which really makes me mad, so maybe I will blow them up for that, too. And for their plumbing.

If people didn’t have freedom then the world would be a better place. And someday I hope I get big enough to blow people up so they know I don’t like freedom.

Mark Spittle is one half of the political satire duo Spittle & Ink. He is a former Washington lobbyist and congressional assistant.

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