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Today's
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December 8, 2003
Michael Neumann
Ignatieff:
Apostle of He-manitariansim
December 6 / 7, 2003
Alexander Cockburn
The
UN: Should Be Late; Never Was Great
CounterPunch Special
Toronto Globe and Mail Kills Review of "The Politics of
Anti-Semitism"
Vincente Navarro
Salvador Dali, Fascist
Saul Landau
"Reality
Media": Michael Jackson, Bush and Iraq
Ben Tripp
How Bush Can Still Win
Gary Leupp
On Purchasing Syrian Beer
Ron Jacobs
Are We Doing Body Counts, Now?
Larry Everest
Oil, Power and Empire
Lee Sustar
Defying the Police State in Miami
Jacob Levich
When NGOs Attack: Implications for the Coup in Georgia
Toni Solo
Game Playing by Free Trade Rules: the Results from Indonesia
and Dominican Republic
Mark Scaramella
How to Fix the World Bank
Bruce Anderson
The San Francisco Mayor's Race
Brian Cloughley
Shredding the Owner's Manual: the Hollow Charter of the UN
Adam Engel
A Conversation with Tim Wise
Neve Gordon
Fuad and Ezra: an Update on Gays Under the Occupation
Kurt Nimmo
Bush Gives "Freedom" Medal to Robert Bartley
Tom Stephens
Justice Takes a Holiday
Susan Davis
Avast, Me Hearties! a Review of Disney's "Pirates of the
Caribbean"
Jeffrey St. Clair
A
Natural Eye: the Photography of Brett Weston
Mickey Z.
Press Box Red
Poets' Basement
Greeder, Orloski, Albert
T-shirt of the Weekend
Got Santorum?
December 5, 2003
Jeremy Scahill
Bremer
of the Tigris
Jeremy Brecher
Amistad
Revisited at Guantanamo?
Norman Solomon
Dean
and the Corp Media Machine
Norman Madarasz
France
Starts Facing Up to Anti-Muslim Discrimination
Pablo Mukherjee
Afghanistan:
the Road Back
December 4, 2003
M. Junaid Alam
Image
and Reality: an Interview with Norman Finkelstein
Adam Engel
Republican
Chris Floyd
Naked Gun: Sex, Blood and the FBI
Adam Federman
The US Footprint in Central Asia
Gary Leupp
The
Fall of Shevardnadze
Guthrie / Albert
RIP Clark Kerr
December 3, 2003
Stan Goff
Feeling
More Secure Yet?: Bush, Security, Energy & Money
Joanne Mariner
Profit Margins and Mortality Rates
George Bisharat
Who Caused the Palestinian Diaspora?
Mickey Z.
Tear Down That Wal-Mart
John Stanton
Bush Post-2004: a Nightmare Scenario
Harry Browne
Shannon
Warport: "No More Business as Usual"
December 2, 2003
Matt Vidal
Denial
and Deception: Before and Beyond Iraqi Freedom
Benjamin Dangl
An Interview with Evo Morales on the Colonization of the Americas
Sam Bahour
Can It Ever Really End?
Norman Solomon
That
Pew Poll on "Trade" Doesn't Pass the Sniff Test
Josh Frank
Trade
War Fears
Andrew Cockburn
Tired,
Terrified, Trigger-Happy
December 1, 2003
Fawzia Afzal-Khan
Unholy
Alliances: Zionism, US Imperialism and Islamic Fundamentalism
Dave Lindorff
Bush's
Baghdad Pitstop: Memories of LBJ in Vietnam
Harry Browne
Democracy Delayed in Northern Ireland
Wayne Madsen
Wagging the Media
Herman Benson
The New Unity Partnership for Labor: Bureaucratizing to Organize?
Gilad Atzmon
About
"World Peace"
Bill Christison
US
Foreign Policy and Intelligence: Monstrous Messes
November 29 / 30, 2003
Peter Linebaugh
On
the Anniversary of the Death of Wolfe Tone
Gary Leupp
Politicizing War on Fox News: a Tale of Two Memos
Saul Landau
Lying and Cheating:
Bush's New Political Math
Michael Adler
Inside a Miami Jail: One Activist's Narrative
Anthony Arnove
"They Put the Lie to Their Own Propaganda": an Interview
with John Pilger
Greg Weiher
Why Bush Needs Osama and Saddam
Stephen Banko, III
A Soldier's Dream
Forrest Hylton
Empire and Revolution in Bolivia
Toni Solo
The "Free Trade" History Eraser
Ben Terrall
Don't Think Twice: Bush Does Bali
Standard Schaefer
Unions
are the Answer to Supermarkets Woes
Richard Trainor
The Political Economy of Earthquakes: a Journey Across the Bay
Bridge
Mark Gaffney
US Congress Does Israel's Bidding, Again
Adam Engel
The System Really Works
Dave Lindorff
They, the Jury: How the System Rigs the Jury Pool
Susan Davis
Framing the Friedmans
Neve Gordon
Arundhati Roy's Complaint for Peace
Mitchel Cohen
Thomas Jefferson and Slavery
Ben Tripp
Capture Me, Daddy
Poets' Basement
Kearney, Albert, Guthrie and Smith
November 28, 2003
William S. Lind
Worse Than Crimes
David Vest
Turkey
Potemkin
Robert Jensen / Sam Husseini
New Bush Tape Raises Fears of Attacks
Wayne Madsen
Wag
the Turkey
Harold Gould
Suicide as WMD? Emile Durkheim Revisited
Gabriel Kolko
Vietnam
and Iraq: Has the US Learned Anything?
South Asia Tribune
The Story
of the Most Important Pakistan Army General in His Own Words
Website of the Day
Bush Draft
November 27, 2003
Mitchel Cohen
Why
I Hate Thanksgiving
Jack Wilson
An
Account of One Soldier's War
Stefan Wray
In the Shadows of the School of the Americas
Al Krebs
Food as Corporate WMD
Jim Scharplaz
Going Up Against Big Food: Weeding Out the Small Farmer
Neve Gordon
Gays
Under Occupation: Help Save the Life of Fuad Moussa
November 26, 2003
Paul de Rooij
Amnesty
International: the Case of a Rape Foretold
Bruce Jackson
Media
and War: Bringing It All Back Home
Stew Albert
Perle's
Confession: That's Entertainment
Alexander Cockburn
Miami and London: Cops in Two Cities
David Orr
Miami Heat
Tom Crumpacker
Anarchists
on the Beach
Mokhiber / Weissman
Militarization in Miami
Derek Seidman
Naming the System: an Interview with Michael Yates
Kathy Kelly
Hogtied
and Abused at Ft. Benning
Website of the Day
Iraq Procurement
November 25, 2003
Linda S. Heard
We,
the Besieged: Western Powers Redefine Democracy
Diane Christian
Hocus
Pocus in the White House: Of Warriors and Liberators
Mark Engler
Miami's
Trade Troubles
David Lindorff
Ashcroft's
Cointelpro
Website of the Day
Young McCarthyites of Texas
November 24, 2003
Jeremy Scahill
The
Miami Model
Elaine Cassel
Gulag
Americana: You Can't Come Home Again
Ron Jacobs
Iraq
Now: Oh Good, Then the War's Over?
Alexander Cockburn
Rupert Murdoch: Global Tyrant
November 14 / 23, 2003
Alexander Cockburn
Clintontime:
Was It Really a Golden Age?
Saul Landau
Words
of War
Noam Chomsky
Invasion
as Marketing Problem: Iraq War and Contempt for Democracy
Stan Goff
An Open Letter to GIs in Iraq: Hold on to Your Humanity
Jeffrey St. Clair
Bush Puts Out a Contract on the Spotted Owl
John Holt
Blue Light: Battle for the Sweetgrass Hills
Adam Engel
A DC Lefty in King George's Court: an Interview with Sam Smith
Joanne Mariner
In a Dark Hole: Moussaoui and the Hidden Detainees
Uri Avnery
The General as Pseudo-Dove: Ya'alon's 70 Virgins
M. Shahid Alam
Voiding the Palestinians: an Allegory
Juliana Fredman
Visions of Concrete
Norman Solomon
Media Clash in Brazil
Brian Cloughley
Is Anyone in the Bush Administration Telling the Truth?
William S. Lind
Post-Machine Gun Tactics
Patrick W. Gavin
Imagine
Dave Lindorff
Bush's
Brand of Leadership: Putting Himself First
Tom Crumpacker
Pandering to Anti-Castro Hardliners
Erik Fleming
Howard Dean's Folly
Rick Giombetti
Challenging the Witch Doctors of the New Imperialism: a Review
of Bush in Babylon
Jorge Mariscal
Las Adelitas, 2003: Mexican-American Women in Iraq
Chris Floyd
Logical Conclusions
Mickey Z.
Does William Safire Need Mental Help?
David Vest
Owed to the Confederate Dead
Ron Jacobs
Joe: the Sixties Most Unforgiving Film
Dave Zirin
Foreman and Carlos: a Tale of Two Survivors
Poets' Basement
Guthrie, Albert, Greeder, Ghalib and Alam
Congratulations
to CounterPuncher David Vest: Winner of 2 Muddy Awards for Best
Blues Pianist in the Pacific Northwest!
November 13, 2003
Jack McCarthy
Veterans
for Peace Booted from Vet Day Parade
Adam Keller
Report
on the Ben Artzi Verdict
Richard Forno
"Threat Matrix:" Homeland Security Goes Prime-Time
Vijay Prashad
Confronting
the Evangelical Imperialists
November 12, 2003
Elaine Cassel
The
Supremes and Guantanamo: a Glimmer of Hope?
Col. Dan Smith
Unsolicited
Advice: a Reply to Rumsfeld's Memo
Jonathan Cook
Facility
1391: Israel's Guantanamo
Robert Fisk
Osama Phones Home
Michael Schwartz
The Wal-Mart Distraction and the California Grocery Workers Strike
John Chuckman
Forty
Years of Lies
Doug Giebel
Jessica Lynch and Saving American Decency
Uri Avnery
Wanted: a Sharon of the Left
Website of the Day
Musicians Against Sweatshops
Hot Stories
Alexander Cockburn
Behold,
the Head of a Neo-Con!
Subcomandante Marcos
The
Death Train of the WTO
Norman Finkelstein
Hitchens
as Model Apostate
Steve Niva
Israel's
Assassination Policy: the Trigger for Suicide Bombings?
Dardagan,
Slobodo and Williams
CounterPunch Exclusive:
20,000 Wounded Iraqi Civilians
Steve
J.B.
Prison Bitch
Sheldon
Rampton and John Stauber
True Lies: the Use of Propaganda
in the Iraq War
Wendell
Berry
Small Destructions Add Up
CounterPunch
Wire
WMD: Who Said What When
Cindy
Corrie
A Mother's Day Talk: the Daughter
I Can't Hear From
Gore Vidal
The
Erosion of the American Dream
Francis Boyle
Impeach
Bush: A Draft Resolution
Click Here
for More Stories.
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December
8, 2003
Spinitaway Media Sanitation
Services
When
Christians Kill
By TESS HARPER
"Our troops" (preferred term.
Avoid "military" or "bombs", as those words
can get people upset) seem to have, regrettably, killed nine
children inside a home in another inevitable accident in Afghanistan.
This is going to present us with yet another challenge, linguistics-wise,
because as you surely know by now, we have a very, very Christian
President, which means that everything he orders his military
to do, and everything his military orders our troops to do, is
of course consistent with Christian principles.
I've been on the horn all morning with
Washington on this potential PR disaster, and I know that my
readers are concerned as well, lest our military missions or
our rules of engagement be questioned (Tess Tip: "rules
of engagement" reliably quells opposition, as it sounds
too official and sophisticated for the average reader to dare
question). But not to worry, Tess is on the case. A bit of shuffling
around is in order, but if we work fast, we can prevent the usual
whining about how "US aggression" has led to more civilian
deaths, etc., blah blah blah.
Never fear, Dear Reader: As long as we
get the words right, people will have forgotten all about those
nine juveniles by, oh, Tuesday at the latest.
You see, when Christians kill, we have
to have certain-wording. The right wording has been brilliantly
used by our leaders these last two years to nip in the bud any
dangerous notions that killing is somehow un-Christlike. I mean
we all know that Jesus would be the first to commend the bombers
for their good intentionsafter all, they were trying to kill
"the enemy" and rid the world of evil, and just had
a little, well, accident.
And Jesus saidwell never mind. Let's
move on to pious-sounding words from the other parts of the Bible
or from cherished old hymns that are, well, more amenable to
our purposes than all that stuff that Jesus taught, which really
has no pertinence here. (Tess Tip: you'll save a lot of time
by skipping the Gospels altogether when justifying military defense
killings, or when sanitizing military offense killings disguised
as defense killings. I know all this is rather confusing, but
the simple rule of thumb is in these situations is: Don't
quote Jesus.)
Think with me for a moment. We need to
strategize. What kind of phrase would make this nasty little
incident more palatable to the good Christians of America?
For starters, we'll need a good Biblical-sounding
word or two. "Evildoers" is usually a winner, but it's
been a bit overused of late. How about-hmm-"freedom"?
Good, but not quite Biblical enough to cover our.to convey the
Christian impulse behind this regrettable incident (Tess Tip:
always include the word "regrettable" when families
are killed, preferably followed pretty quickly by the word "inevitable"-but
don't use "collateral damage", as a lot of folks are
starting to see through that one).
Still no ideas? Okay, let's just admit
we're stuck for a moment, and go back to the AP story, 12/6/03.
That should give us some ideas:
"An American A-10 aircraft struck
a site south of Ghazni where a "known terrorist" was
believed to be hiding at about 10:30 a.m. Saturday, Army Maj.
Christopher E. West told The Associated Press. "Following
the attack, ground coalition forces searching the area found
the bodies of both the intended target and those of nine children
nearby," he said. The U.S. military was sending a team of
investigators to the site to determine if U.S. forces were at
fault," West said."
Oh icky, that's no good-words like "attack",
"bodies", "children", and fault" are
to be avoided at all costs. Let's move on to another paragraph:
""We regret the loss of any
innocent life and we follow stringent rules of engagement to
specifically avoid this type of incident while continuing to
target terrorists who threaten the future of Afghanistan,"
West said."
Much better! Our wording should include
something about our dedication to preserving "innocent life",
which we should, of course, quickly follow by reminding the reader
or listener that, even though we did the killing, there were
bad people (including a "known terrorist") out
there threatening the very victims that we inadvertently killed.
Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Now
we're getting somewhere. Try this on for size: Those nine were
the very children that we were protecting, but, because
of the bad people nearby-or, well, somewhere around there-anyway,
in that region or that country (is Afghanistan the Middle East?!),
oh you know what I mean-we had to drop some bombs. And -and -and
they hit that house with the kids in it, and -and -and you see,
(oh wait, this is good) if we hadn't done it, the terrorists
probably would have, sooner or later! So, voila-We were actually
protecting the children, but because the known terrorist
wouldn't come out and show him- or herself to our bombers, those
poor children got killed instead. The terrorists, you see,
killed themin a manner of speaking.
Only one problem remains, and it's an
important one, so let's not stop here. Where can we insert some
Biblical wording to ease the conscience of any Bush supporter
who might be fond of that troublesome "Christ" part
of Christianity (compassion, millstone-around-the-neck for those
who hurt children, blessed are the merciful, etc.)? Never fear,
a quick look at the speeches of our own very, very Christian
President may do the trick:
"They're nothing but a bunch of
cold-blooded killers and that's the way we're going to treat
them." George W. Bush, talking to soldiers at the largest
US military base, Jan. 3, 2003.
OOPS! Never mind that one, strike it
from the record please. There MUST be something better, somewhere
here in my files, oh, what's this? Let's take a peek:
"I know that the families of our
military are praying that all those who serve will return safely
and soon. Millions of Americans are praying with you for the
safety of your loved ones and for the protection of the innocent."
George W. Bush, 3/19/03
"Prayer"! That's the ticket!
It's on the cover of dozens of bestsellers-believe me,
it's highly persuasive at this time. You see, as long as you
link the word "prayer" with any kind of activity, and
I do mean ANY kind of activity, it becomes "sanctified",
in a sense: If you pray that the President's decisions will be
right, then, well, think about it! Whatever decision he subsequently
makes will bewhat? Correct, of course, and Godly, too! You wouldn't
want to question God, would you?
That's why www.presidentialprayerteam.org
is so successful. When you tell citizens to pray for political
figures, this gives millions of well-intentioned Christians the
subliminal message that, after praying for their President, whatever
their President does or does not do is, ipso facto, the will
of God Himself. Could you ask for anything more perfectly
designed to squelch doubts or questions or pangs of conscience?
Okay, so now let's put it all together
to develop our special wording (tactical words are underlined
for your convenience): "We regret the loss of any innocent
life, and pray that our actions will, in time, help us in our
efforts to free the people of Afghanistan and Iraq from the terrorists
who threaten their future."
Well we're pretty much finished, but,
well, doesn't it lack-sparkle? Don't you think it should end
with something that sounds righteous, patriotic, maybe even divinely
inspired? Let Tess rummage around once more to see if there's
anything fitting.
Here it is! George W. Bush, in his State
of the Union address, Jan. 28, 2003: "For so many in our
country -- the homeless and the fatherless, the addicted -- the
need is great. Yet there is power, wonder-working power in the
goodness, and idealism, and faith of the American people"
Ready? Set? Done! Our special wording,
presented below, will ease every Bush-supporter's qualms, and
even the most ardent Christian's concerns, about those nine little
ones who were-well basically, in the wrong place (at home) at
the wrong time (when we came a-bombing):
"We regret the loss of any innocent
life, and pray that our actions will, in time, free the people
of Afghanistan and Iraq (insert other countries as desired),
from the terrorists who threaten their future. The people of
Afghanistan and Iraq and (insert countries) long for freedom,
and we are making the sacrifices to bring that freedom to them
and to all the people of that troubled part of the world. We
know that we will prevail because there is power, wonder-working
power in the goodness and mercy of our troops and the American
people."
All Spinitaway phrasing is a public
service of Tess Harper Enterprises and may be used to sanitize
and justify all regrettable but inevitable accidents on an as-needed
basis by Mr. Wolfowitz, Mr. Rumsfeld, Mr. Bremer, Mr. Perle,
Mr. Cheney, Gen. Sanchez, Fox News, CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, Pat Robertson,
Thomas Friedman and the New York Times, Jerry Falwell, Bill O'Reilly,
James Dobson, Rush Limbaugh, the Rendon group, Clear Channel
radio stations, Condi Rice and/or President George W. Bush entirely
free of charge and without permission of the author.
Tess Harper
can be reached at: spinitaway@hotmail.com
Weekend
Edition Features for Nov. 29 / 30, 2003
Alexander Cockburn
The
UN: Should Be Late; Never Was Great
CounterPunch Special
Toronto Globe and Mail Kills Review of "The Politics of
Anti-Semitism"
Vincente Navarro
Salvador Dali, Fascist
Saul Landau
"Reality
Media": Michael Jackson, Bush and Iraq
Ben Tripp
How Bush Can Still Win
Gary Leupp
On Purchasing Syrian Beer
Ron Jacobs
Are We Doing Body Counts, Now?
Larry Everest
Oil, Power and Empire
Lee Sustar
Defying the Police State in Miami
Jacob Levich
When NGOs Attack: Implications for the Coup in Georgia
Toni Solo
Game Playing by Free Trade Rules: the Results from Indonesia
and Dominican Republic
Mark Scaramella
How to Fix the World Bank
Bruce Anderson
The San Francisco Mayor's Race
Brian Cloughley
Shredding the Owner's Manual: the Hollow Charter of the UN
Adam Engel
A Conversation with Tim Wise
Neve Gordon
Fuad and Ezra: an Update on Gays Under the Occupation
Kurt Nimmo
Bush Gives "Freedom" Medal to Robert Bartley
Tom Stephens
Justice Takes a Holiday
Susan Davis
Avast, Me Hearties! a Review of Disney's "Pirates of the
Caribbean"
Jeffrey St. Clair
A
Natural Eye: the Photography of Brett Weston
Mickey Z.
Press Box Red
Poets' Basement
Greeder, Orloski, Albert
T-shirt of the Weekend
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