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im listening to the crickets outside my window and every so often i can here the wind in the trees and the branches tapping on the window |
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sometimes...it seems like the hole world is out to get me...poor pathetic Sarah right? "you can be made of porcelain, and if you are dropped, you will break" that is so true...I'm hypersensitive, life sucks so bad right now, my aunt is holding on for me, she can see how happy I am when I'm around her and how much I love her, I think that she is trying to make me happy, I've been telling her about all my friends and she thinks that I have the best friends in the world, she doesn't see the microscopic difficulties I have and crap, but I don't think she needs to see those, as long as she is happy, I'm happy, and she is happy seeing me happy so its kind of a circle we have going on here, as long as its working though you know?
Joline is in Arizona, I hope I get back before she goes back to Pennsylvania, I haven't seen her since 6th grade, me and her and roger were like he 3 stooges dude, we were best friends, we even carved our names in a tree by Jo's old house, I went and saw it the other day before I left, its still there =) I miss being a kid and hanging out, swinging on monkey bars with them, getting ant bites dude, that was the fucking best, scraping my knee cuz I fell of my bike, or I fell out of the tree I was climbing, dude, haha, me and Jo and Roger are gonna go back there, we even carved in our height, I was always the shortest, roger is like 5'10 and Jo is like 5'9, the girl is tall, and I'm 5'7 I was always like a foot shorter than them and they always looked after me, I'm the youngest, roger is 17, Jo is 16 (older than me by like a month) and whenever I was getting bullied they would always help me out (I used to get bullied a lot cuz I was the little kid in the corner who hardly ever said anything until I was with them, I used to wish and I used to wish on stars(hehe) that they would be my family and they would rescue me from my childhood hell, but the Jo Jo moved and only when she comes here for the summer is when we can relive our childhood, I miss that so much dude, ughhhh, I cant wait until I can go over to Rogers house and see Jo there, in "the chair" lol member "the chair" roger? haha "the chair" was the coolest, all three of us used to sit in it...now only 2 people can, cuz we got old, and fat....
dude I remember one time when we made a fort out of roger's moms bed sheets and tree branches, we stayed the night out there and we woke up all cuddled together cuz we were so little and only had one blanket and our baby fat to keep up warm, I always had to be in the middle, hehe, any ways, we were all curled up with mosquito and ants bites all over us, and we loved it! we loved getting dirty on purpose and we loved not taking showers for days cuz we were too busy playing house and store....and me and Jo pretending we had boobs and we would put tennis balls in our training bras and walk around with our bathing suits under the "big people" clothes and the high heels and roger being our pimp LOL and we made fake money and roger used to put it in his fake wallet and go to the fake store and buy us fake food so we could make a living and we talked on out fake phones and our fake everything, we even helped my dad make a play house in my back yard and we put furniture and we painted it bright green, ugh, I miss all that stuff man well, I'm done looking back on the past.......
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