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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly's LiveJournal:

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    Monday, April 12th, 2004
    9:05 pm
    [mebow]
    So I had some relations with this guy that I wasn't particularly interested in. He was just there. He bragged that he maintained his virginity (He would engage in everything BUT intercourse), and he would lecture the rest of his friends who didn't keep theres. Be a virgin. I don't care, but don't go on a moral rampage about it.

    Anyway, we're messing around at my house, and I'm giving him head. Apparently, I wasn't working hard or fast enough, so he makes me stop, straddled my stomach, and proceeded to pump himself, while I'm lying there, just watching. I did not want him sitting on me and masturbating. I did not want to watch it. I did not want green eggs and ham.

    I couldn't even get up and leave. Had to just sit there and wait until he was done, and that meant he shot his load all over me!

    Current Mood: annoyed

    (10 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
    1:55 pm
    [ohgr]
    After lurking and observing I decided to bite the bullet and contribute.

    I was 17, and was seeing a 22 year old chick. Things got hot and heavy rather fast. We'd had sex once or twice before but I hadn't gone down on her. I'd had bad experiences going down on chicks in the past and to be perfectly honest wasn't 100% confident on going down on her. My instincts told me not to but stupidly I went ahead anyway.

    The foreplay on this occasion was going along nicely, I was getting quite worked up and decided that tonight would be the night that I ventured south. I started working her over and I could tell she was digging it. Then I started to feel what seemed like pastry on my teeth. Now I hadn't eaten anything and had brushed my teeth before we started to play. So as you can imagine I was rather bewildered.

    Now to make matters worse I had a weird mucusy taste in my mouth. This was the last straw. I asked her ever so nicely if I could turn on the light as I 'wanted to see all of her'. She obliged and I turned on bedside lamp and went back to it. But this time I could see what I was putting my mouth onto.

    Her lips were crusted with dead skin. I'm not talking about a flake here or a flake there i'm talking about blistering sun burn sort of skin. It was disgusting..... Also to my horror the 'mucus' taste I mentioned earlier was in fact a off white/teal sort of colour. This had to stop... This girl had by far the worst body maintenance that i'd ever encountered.

    I broke out a lame excuse that I had a migraine and didn't really feel up to performing and if she'd be ok with picking this up at a later time when I wasn't feeling so sickly....

    I never saw her again and I think she got the hint.

    Current Mood: amused
    Current Music: Ohgr - Jako

    (28 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    Monday, April 12th, 2004
    8:52 pm
    [mc_dork]
    Ok, this is funny..

    My last two posts in this community..

    Miss Echo Chamber Pussy and Miss Get Freaky By the Pool...

    ...have both contacted me out of the blue in the past week.

    I think I might be about to find out if the first one has discovered Kegels.

    (2 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    9:47 pm
    [lipgloss70]
    I dunno, any sex would be good at this point... hehe.. god why do I have to be horny?

    Current Mood: horny

    (6 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    5:08 pm
    [stellartois]
    The Young Bride's Guide to Sex, 1894

    It could be worse....

    (Disclaimer:  I know this isn't real, but it's funny, and might make some of you feel better.)

    (2 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    4:30 pm
    [alki_chick]
    Not bad sex just NO SEX for him...

    So Saturday afternoon I agree to meet, oh lets call him Dick down at his place, mind you this is only our second 'date'. I'm a bit peeved that he asked last second and expected me to drive the 45 minutes to see him but I sucked it up and agreed. I make it to his place and he's outside waiting for me and jumps right in my car. OK so again not only am I last second plans and have to drive to his place, I also have to be the taxi for this excursion. He gives me directions to where we are going only to find out he forgot his wallet in his car so we have to drive back to his place in order for him to grab his wallet than back out to the bar we were going to, because I'll be damned if I was going to foot the bill for this.
    No Sex for Him )

    Current Mood: devious

    (6 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    5:36 pm
    [butterflywingz]
    So, it's my turn....
    Been just reading for a while, and I must say, I do like this community a lot. :)

    My bad sex story took place about 2 summers back. My somewhat friend with benefits came over to my house with a couple of friends, girls and guys. I was basically like his plan C, if you know what I mean, so since his other girls were there, I was knew he wasn't going to be spending the night that night.

    We were drinking but me and his friend Jim, who was a definite cutie, decided to start taking shots of Jack. Needless to say, when it came time for everyone to leave, Jim wasn't up to driving his car home. I told Art he could go, but he kept on giving me these weird looks and asking if I was for sure. Jealousy is a horrible thing, isn't it? :p Jerk.

    So, everyone leaves and I go upstairs to my room. I tell Jim I'm going to go put my pajamas on and then I come back to find my candles lit and him laying in my bed with just his boxers on.

    I laid down nervous (I'd only been with maybe 2 or 3 guys before this), and we started talking. Did I mention Jim had a girlfriend? He starts kissing me and stuff, and I'm like "What about your girlfriend... I thought you said you had a girlfriend?" He was all like, "Oh, well, I do, but we're not serious."

    Duh. These days, I would have never fell for that, but I did. Unfortunately. So we procede to do "the deed" which was by no means spectacular for me though he was great looking and whatnot... it lasted about, oh, five minutes or so.

    We're laying on the floor, not really saying anything, then all of a sudden I hear this quiet sob. I look over and he starts crying. He goes, "Oh god. I did it again. She'll never take me back." And just cries and cries and cries.

    Crying to the point that snot is coming out of his nose, he's all bright red and disgusting look, and is just hysterical. He gets up, runs out of my house at 3 in the morning and goes to his car. I run after him in a tank top and undies in 30 degree weather trying to console him. He starts going through his trunk looking for something... I asked him what, and he replies, "A knife, something... I'm going to kill myself."

    Jesus.

    After about an hour of trying to get him to calm down, I said fuck it and went back into my house. The bastard could freeze outside for all I care. About an hour later, he comes in and curls up in a ball on my floor and passes out. I'm just like "Whatever".

    Needless to say, the next morning was awkward. I haven't seen him since.

    ~*Amanda

    Current Mood: amused

    (5 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    9:41 am
    [dannsair]
    Thar she blows...
    Okay, so this is my third and final embarrassing story. So I figure I'm finding some kind of catharsis in this, or very possibly I need therapy.

    I've had a couple women I've been with who were, lacking a better term, squirters. It's always something amazing to behold when able to bring an intimate partner to ejaculation by means of my tongue stroking her g-spot. While I do admit the occasional sore tongue, the awe of seeing, hearing and feeling a woman rocking with these orgasms is heaven, and feeling the fluid hitting my chin is a unique sensation to say the least.

    This story is about the same woman who inadvertantly nearly suffocated me whilst I was going down on her. She'd never experienced one of these orgasms. Upon the first time it happened she was quite startled thinking she urinated on me.

    Now the clear odorless fluid that comes out is definitely not urine and I'm not into golden showers. She was very concerned about this. I showed her a number of articles on feminine ejaculation, but still she seemed to be concerned. Despite this she seemed obsessed about it being urine, and after every time I went down on her she was always asking if it was in fact urine. It became frustrating after a while, as I tried to assure her that it wasn't.

    One evening we were particularly getting into it and she let out a loud squeal which wasn't unusual for her. What was unusual was the stream of yellow warm liquid that shot me in the face. She started laughing and nervously commented that that was urine. She was right.

    That was the last time I tried to give her a g-spot orgasm.

    (20 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    9:04 am
    [camper4lyfe]
    A couple more stories
    These are a couple stories, one from each of my first two gf's.

    1: I met her (S) through a friend (A) as a 'test'. Well, I obviously passed the test because I ended up with S (I look back and feel kind of bad, but I was sick of getting the run around from A). S and I talk on the computer for a while (she lived about 2 hours from me while I was at school), and we decide that I'm going to pick her up while she's close to the area practicing for her cousin's wedding. I bring her back to my dorm, and I introduce her to my friends, and we all hang out and watch a movie or two. We eventually stroll back to my room and lay down, for what I thought to be sleep (boy was I naive). She promplty plants one on me, and it progresses from there to the point where I say "I'm going to cum........I think". I was so nervous about what was goin to happen, that I never did finish. We ended up together for a year and a half, and it got better from the first time on.

    2: I met her (M) while with S...yes, I pulled ANOTHER shitty move. M lived upstairs from S, and I broke up with S for M (hehe...S&M...ANYWAY;). Things progress with M fairly quickly, but come to a screeching hault when it comes to bedroom activities. She wasn't ready, and I respected that. I end up sleeping on the futon because she wanted her bed to herself (should have been clue #2...clue #1 was that she stole her friend's bf). M decides to join me on the futon one night, and once again, things progress. This time, SHE doesn't stop me, but my wilted willy does. I should have listened to him, because she was THE WORST person I've ever been with (out of 5). She wouldn't touch me...bj's were out of the question, hand jobs weren't even an option unless we were in the shower (she was squeemish of the pre-cum), and when SHE decided she wanted some, it was MY job to 'get her ready', along with myself. I ended up leaving her because I felt absolutely worthless, and neglected. I then hooked up with a chick who couldn't keep her hands off me (and I actually told HER no on several occaisions).

    So yeah...women can give bad sex too...

    Current Mood: bored

    (sex it up)

    12:47 am
    [thescarletgypsy]
    More Bitching Than Anything Else....
    I have only had ONE partner in my life, and I wasn't attracted to him at all. He basically gave me an ultimatum, which is the only reason I had sex with him in the first place. The sex was so bad that there were times when I would tap my fingers on the wall as he was going at it. (He was blind.) I even watched tv a few times. I have never even really had a good orgasm. I hated being touched by him. I would wake up in the night wanting to beat the shit outta him because I hated being touched so much. I guess Its not a bad sex story..It's just me saying that the only sex I have ever had has been bad. I am waiting for someone to come along and make sex a pleasurable experience. I sort of consider myself to be a semi-virgin. *shrugs* So it goes...that's life.

    Current Mood: crappy

    (17 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    2:55 am
    [insaneboatgrrl]

    (7 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    Sunday, April 11th, 2004
    11:42 pm
    [mebow]
    ballsballsballs
    So I have another question. My boy used to ocassionally ask me to suck on his nuts, which I didn't mind so much (and he seemed to like it a lot), but then all of a sudden, it became ticklish to him (I mean, laughing and squirming ticklish). Now, doing that always tickles, so he doesn't want me near his balls anymore.

    What the hell happened?

    Anybody got some insight out there?

    Current Mood: rejected
    Current Music: Less Than Jake

    (6 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    10:37 pm
    [mebow]
    OK Slappy,
    Responding to somebody's oral comments, got me remembering this. My boytoy occasionally will gently but repeatedly slap my clit, in an attempt to get me off. I always assumed this was b/c they do it in pornos. It does NOTHING for me, but jolt me out of whatever pleasurable experience I was having.

    DO OTHER GUYS DO THIS? AND ARE THERE GIRLS OUT THERE WHO FIND THIS PARTICULAR MOVE USEFUL?

    Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever told him to knock it off. It doesn't usually last for long before he moves on to something else.

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: Move to Bremerton by MXPX

    (16 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    2:47 pm
    [sairyuu]
    ouch!
    once while receiving excellent oral from my hubby, i jerked and kicked him in the nuts. (ouch, sorry baby.) i have no idea how that happened, and he was afraid to be in that area for a good while after.

    Current Mood: embarrassed

    (4 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    1:29 pm
    [dannsair]
    need a snorkel
    This one time I was with a past girlfriend and I was going down on her. This is something I always really enjoy doing with women I've been involved with. I'd been lucky to never have any incompatibilities or difficulties with any of them doing this.

    So anyway, this one evening we were enjoying this most intimate of kisses, and she was flying high. She frantically grabbed the back of my head and held on during one intense orgasm. She was one who tended to have long and rocking orgasms.

    It was about this point I realized that I couldn't breathe. I was also somewhat dismayed to realize that I somehow had forgotten to breathe for a bit too long. My dear goddess was not in a coherent place and I was definitely not in a place that allowed for verbal communication. Even my flailing hands seemed to not be noticed. I was a still as possible hoping not to stimulate her anymore. I was envisioning how it would be explained if I suffocated that way. Not an altogether bad was to die, but I really wasn't ready to meet my maker yet.

    After what was probably only 20 seconds, but seemed like an eternity she eased her grip. My head shot up and I let out a rather loud gasp. Inside of 30 seconds we were falling apart laughing, by then I'd caught my breath.

    So, I'm wondering if anyone else has any "near death" experiences or injuries going down. I'm reminded of the movie Chasing Amy and the ones shared there.

    (13 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    Saturday, April 10th, 2004
    9:48 pm
    [1899]
    Oh, and one more thing...

    My personal issues:
    Read more... )

    (36 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    9:35 pm
    [1899]
    Wow! I'm really amazed at all the different opinions on what qualifies bad head.
    I wonder if everyone is as opinionated about guys giving girls oral?

    How can a guy know if he's doing it all wrong?

    Current Mood: curious

    (23 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    8:04 pm
    [allycat135]
    about 2 or so years ago, me and a guy who shall remain nameless started fooling around. we were kind of drunk, and we were about 15 or 16, and he really didnt know what he was doing.
    or so i'd assume.
    we didn't bang, but while we were fooling around, the guy felt the need to give me a play by play out loud of what he was going to do to me.

    i think i get annoyed really easily while messing around, but this i really couldnt take.

    "well... right now i am going to stick my finger there" etcetera etcetera.
    i felt bad about stopping, but that night i called my friend anna and told her all about it and we laughed.
    im going to hell.

    Current Mood: bored

    (2 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    3:22 pm
    [__todaymylove]
    My ex-boyfriend and I got in the mood once while we were hanging out at the golf course by my house. It was night time so we didn't have to worry about random golfballs hitting us or anything.

    We had been going at it for awhile when I hear this strange noise, like something snapping. I asked him what it was but he didn't know, so we continued. Not even 5 seconds later we were getting attacked by freezing cold sprinkler water. It was the middle of January so this didn't feel too great.

    We ran back to his car, bare ass naked, as fast as we could. The sprinkler system had turned on throughout the entire golf course so we couldn't get away from it no matter where we ran. I thought I was going to get pnuemonia by the time we got back to his car.

    (2 deflowered minds | sex it up)

    Friday, April 9th, 2004
    9:25 pm
    [1899]
    Pop quiz time: I want to see lots of responses to this.
    How can a girl know (or, what are the signs) that she is giving shitty head?

    Tell me, you know you're bad at sucking the cock when... [insert penis -oops!- opinions here]

    (60 deflowered minds | sex it up)

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