| My Indie Rock Boyfriend |
[22 Jan 2003|03:52pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
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music |
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the clicking of the keyboard keys |
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who's your indie rock boyfriend?
conor oberst (bright eyes): you and conor are moodily intense. go to a corner and cry together, pansies!
brought to you by Quizilla
My, my, he's a sexy one...
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| Happy But Sad |
[21 Jan 2003|11:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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mixed emotions |
] |
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music |
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"Not Nothing" by Stroke9 |
] |
I'm starting to get that lonely feeling again. I don't really have anyone to talk to because I have no friends and now I don't get to talk to Stephen as much as I would like to because he has to work and my brother goes over to Brandi's house every night. *sighs* Why does everything have to start getting worse now?
It's going to be freezing tomorrow and I don't really have any pants to wear. I just had to wear them today...
I didn't get to talk to Stephen tonight because my brother decided to leave exactly at nine o'clock, which is when his minutes are free. I guess Stephen was tired, so I didn't get a call from him. But I still got an email, so that's okay. Not as good, but still any contact is better than nothing.
On the brighter side, Stephen has a dentist appointment tomorrow! I hope they'll be able to take care of everything. It'll make Stephen feel a lot better, which is always good. I wish I could see him and his pearly whites... :o) ! I miss him...
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| What Piercing Am I? |
[19 Jan 2003|12:24pm] |
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mood |
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 horny |
] |
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music |
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"Closer" by NIN |
] |
It's all pretty accurate, except for the public thing...
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| Anniversary |
[18 Jan 2003|10:01am] |
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mood |
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 happy |
] |
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music |
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"Oh Lord! Oh My!" by the Hives |
] |
Happy Anniversary, Love!!!
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| No Stephen |
[18 Jan 2003|02:00am] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
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music |
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"The Big Kick" by RHCP |
] |
*sighs* No point in being online...no point in even being awake...
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| Dentist |
[16 Jan 2003|09:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Oh Lord! Oh My!" by the Hives |
] |
I'm going to the dentist, the dentist, the dentist...
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| TO STEPHEN |
[13 Jan 2003|03:53pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
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music |
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"Can't Stop" by RHCP |
] |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!!
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| Crazy Insane |
[12 Jan 2003|12:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Can't Stop" by RHCP |
] |
This family is going to drive me insane if I don't get out of here soon. I have four more months to put up with their shit. Today, I looked in the fridge and there is barely enough orange juice to last me two days. It would be much different if I didn't need it, but I do and they know that, but they just don't give a damn. At least, if I were at Stephen's he would make sure I have orange juice...I don't know though. He seems to be "slipping". Into that zone. And that doesn't make me too happy either. Ugh, I just want to crawl into a hole and bury myself in...
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| Another QuizDiva Quiz |
[09 Jan 2003|07:01am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Minor Thing" by RHCP |
] |
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| Unlikeable Pain |
[05 Jan 2003|02:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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crappy |
] |
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music |
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"Praise" by Sevendust |
] |
I'm talking to Stephen right now and it's great, but I'd much rather be talking to him on the phone. I miss him so much. Damn, my brother...no, damn my mother. She's the one who said Brandi can't stay here anymore, so of course my brother chases her ass back to her house. *sighs* Everything leads back to her somehow...
My knees are killing me...I think I spent too many hours on my feet at work. I can't really concentrate on anything else but the pain. And I don't even have fucking Tylenol...
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| *awakens after a long nap* |
[22 Dec 2002|02:39am] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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"Can't Get You Out of My Head" by Kylie Minogue |
] |
Sorry! I know I've been gone for a while. Things have been kinda hectic with finals, work, school, homework, community service and choir concerts. Speaking of choir concerts, Stephen came to one of mine last week. It was the Christmas concert. I gave a horrible performance though, because I didn't think he was there. He drove there from his house with his sis and ma and I didn't get to see him before the show. There were plenty of things that could've happened...it was snowing really bad and he could've gotten lost and whatever. But after we came off stage I stepped outside of our changing room to see Stephen come out of the bathroom. Everything that had been stressing me out for the past month or so instantly vanished and I attacked him in the hallway. I hugged him and didn't let go for...a while...It just felt great being in his arms again. He kind of skipped on the rest of the concerts until I had to go back on stage for the last song. Afterwards, I drove with him and his family back to my house and...lightened his load a little. *smiles* Stephen got kind of nervous being around a group of people who knew things that his mother didn't so he left as soon as he could. It was great to see him though. And I'm going to see him again for Christmas break. Hopefully for the entire break. We'll see how lucky I am...or how spoiled...
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| Another Churchless Sunday |
[08 Dec 2002|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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horny |
] |
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music |
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"Closer" by NIN |
] |
It's Sunday afternoon and I'm already stuffed full of Vitamin C (oranges and orange juice) and there's nothing else to do besides lay around and get fatter. *yawns and stretches* My tummy's queasy and I don't like that. I wonder at what point in my life did I start becoming a homebody. Well, I didn't really become one. I long to go out and do something but what is there to do? And who is there to do it with? *chuckles* Let's keep a clean mind, folks. But since we're on the subject, or we are now, I'm majorly horny. This is not something that any amount of masturbation can take care of and I wouldn't want to solve it that way right now anyway. I want the actual closeness and interaction of sex. Nothing can compare to two horny people in love going at it for hours. It's an indescribable high. *horny shudders* I take that back...sometimes just being in the arms of that person is all you need to make you feel alive...lol, but right now I'm in the mood for "loving"...
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| New IQ Test |
[08 Dec 2002|12:24pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Karma Slave" by (???) |
] |
Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 162.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 161 and above is considered to be a "genius".
Go me!!!! If you want to take the new IQ test, go to ivillage.com. What's new, you ask? This one now has a timer...
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| Ashley |
[07 Dec 2002|02:45pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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| [ |
music |
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"Shimmer" by Fuel |
] |
No, not me...Burger. This is a prime example of one of my "friends". She fits into the first category. All day long on Friday, there's something wrong with me. She's the first person from my school that I see in the morning and the person I see the most. I ride the bus with her. I eat breakfast at school with her. I go to the auditorium with her. I sit with her on the bus to C-9. I go to my C-9 class with her (which lasts until 10:55). I eat at break at C-9 with her. I ride back to school with her. If I eat lunch at school, I eat with her. I see her throughout the school day. And I ride back home on the bus with her.
So anyway, there's something the matter with me all day. She tells me about what's going on with her boyfriend and her non-boyfriends. (Non-boyfriends - guys who think they're your boyfriend and still "talk" to you, but really aren't.) She has a lot of them from online or from pictures from friends, but has never actually met any of them. So she goes on to tell me about her boys. I give my advice and say what I have to say because I know she's looking for either "wow's" or advice.
I see her as usual throughout the entire day, but the only time she even thinks to ask me what's the matter is at the end of the day when she's standing next to me waiting for the bus, because there's nothing else to say:
"What's the matter, Ashley?"
"The same thing that's been the matter all day."
"Well, you never told me."
"Well, you never asked."
That last line never came out because I knew she would take it as getting an attitude, which it really would be, but I didn't want her to think that. So we go the entire bus ride without talking and get off the bus without saying goodbye. *sighs and rolls eyes* At least Tracy asked me what was the matter. Oh well...if Ashley's mad at me, at least I won't have anymore chain letters to delete in my inbox...
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| Careless |
[05 Dec 2002|03:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Over the Rainbow" (Accents' Version) |
] |
You can decide what people are really your friends by how they act in a conversation...
There are the types that completely ignore your being in a conversation and speak only of themselves. They want advice to help them out, but couldn't care less when you're in a little situation of your own. All you can do is listen to them and try to help out, because you know when you open your mouth to talk about what's going on with yourself, the listening stops.
There are those that talk to you condescendingly. Everything you accomplish, everything you do, everything your proud of is not enough, by their standards and they feel the need to squash any signs of sunshine in your life.
There are those who you don't talk to "like you used to" and are just kind of there, which is sad. If that person was so important at some part of your life, why aren't they now?
There are those that try too hard to fit in with everyone and are completely unreliable and unfaithful.
And then there are those who change. Or maybe they never changed at all. Maybe they've always been that way and you never noticed it before. Maybe you've changed. Maybe you've just grown apart.
I'm sure there are plenty more, but all the people I call "friends" fit into these categories. They really aren't friends at all, but they're all I've got. There's no one to talk to who actually gives a damn about what I'm saying. No one who actually cares. I'm going to drive myself mentally insane keeping my thoughts to myself. I need someone...
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| Ignorance |
[02 Dec 2002|03:42pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
] |
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music |
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none |
] |
I hate people for their pure ignorance, stupidity, and stubborness. There are just some things you shouldn't say to some people...
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[02 Dec 2002|12:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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crying |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my stuffy breathing |
] |
I'm not going to Stephen's for Xmas anymore. Apparently, it would be better if I didn't. I wouldn't want to ruin everyone else's holiday fun...but it's alright if I'm miserable...
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| Back From the Holiday Cheer |
[29 Nov 2002|10:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Happy Girls and Happy Boys(???)" by Aqua |
] |
Well, I hope everyone else had a decent Turkey Day, but mine wasn't anything to be happy about other than all the food I got to eat without really feeling guilty about it. It was at my Aunt Jenny's this year. Everyone kept getting on everyone else's nerves (everyone including me), especially because I'm crankier than usual, and my grandma kept complaining about the food while we were eating it. My cousin and I determined that the family should just not get together anymore. But of course we'll still do it. I didn't even get to talk to Stephen because my mother decided to spend the night there and my brother left with his cell phone. I was going to get online, but I, having polished off four or five plates easily, fell asleep. Damn my luck...
I got to spend today with my cousin which wasn't bad at first until after we met up with Monique. My cousin smokes...things...and they're just things that I'd rather not have around me right now. But apparently their fun is more important than my health. I thought my cousin would drop me off at home first, but she didn't and then I thought she would at least wait until we'd stopped somewhere for me to leave the car. No, it was while we were in motion, so the only way out was on the highway. So, without actually doing the activity, I've smoked cigarettes and marijuana today. *rolls eyes*
My mother called my cousin before we got the chance to go to the movies and told her to take me to church while I was reeking of that stuff, so she did. *sighs* I never like going to church. So that's a whole story in itself.
I got Subway twice today!!! Woo hoo!!! My two weeks of craving a Subway veggie sub are finally over!!!
I'm home now and I received two sweet emails from Stephen and a sweetly perverse comment that made me blush (also from Stephen). He's a sweetheart. My brother left with the phone as soon as I walked in though and it looks like the only way I'll talk to Stephen is if I can stay up till he gets on (hopefully 12 or 1). I haven't talked to him since Wednesday. I miss my baby...
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| Olden Days |
[27 Nov 2002|04:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" by Local H |
] |
Last night's conversation with Stephen was great, even though it lasted only 30-40 minutes. It reminded me of better times. We talked about nothing...things like chitterlings, which he thinks are gross (he's never tasted them) and I think are great. What it was about wasn't important, just that we were talking. *sighs* I love this man...
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